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1. The entire news staff of The Stranger—SYDNEY BROWNSTONE, HEIDI GROOVER, ANSEL HERZ, and ELI SANDERS—has slapped together a listicle of "Five Things Washington State Needs." As we all know, listicles are what's known in the news business as "social-friendly content," which organizations like BuzzFeed and Upworthy have specialized in for several years now, to great success. Given that The Stranger's previous news editor, Dominic Holden, now works at BuzzFeed, could this attempt at search engine optimization be an attempt by the entire news staff to follow in Holden's footsteps? Are we less than four weeks away from the first Stranger news story to be told entirely in adorable cat GIFs?

2. In the film section, CHARLES MUDEDE discusses Bradford Young, the cinematographer of new films Selma and A Most Violent Year, and in so doing, he quotes local cinematographer Sean Kirby, who issues a most curious proclamation: "In white skin, there is—how can I put this—not a lot of depth." He then goes on to extol the visual beauty of black skin. Behind the text, one can almost hear Mudede snicker to himself at this line, as it typifies his malicious blend of reverse racism. Do you believe Mudede led Kirby into making a racially charged statement to further feed his race-baiting agenda? Why or why not?

3. DAVE SEGAL celebrates his own nonstop slide into self-parody with a preview of—and this is an exact quote—"a special eight-hour edition of the city's most adventurous showcase for hardware-based electronic music." The piece doesn't bother to explain to anyone outside the "hardware-based electronic music" scene, which is to say 99.9 percent of Seattle, exactly what "hardware-based electronic music" is. Do you believe Segal is just mocking himself here, or is he aiming directly at the 35 people who would find this information to be vital? Does self-parody necessarily indicate a presence of self-awareness, or is Segal making this descent into Portlandia territory on a strictly subconscious level?

4. In a paper full of too-gay stories, ADRIAN RYAN interviews Dame Edna. Could the paper in which this story has been published potentially turn straight Stranger readers gay? On a scale of one to infinity, how gay would you rate this story? Is it possible to transcend an infinity amount of gayness?