I'm a 39-year-old woman in a seven-year committed relationship. Two weeks before Christmas 2014, I found out from my boyfriend's best friend that he has been fucking five different women. I was shocked and heartbroken when I found out.

When I confronted my bf, he unraveled this horrible nightmare for me. During the first year of our relationship—after we discussed wanting to be exclusive—he was fucking the ex that he left for me. Sometimes it would happen every week, sometimes every month. He honestly forgets all the times he fucked his ex. At some point, he convinced me that we need to have a baby. So we bought a townhouse, we had a baby, and he was still fucking his ex. We didn't want our child to be an only child, so we had another baby. Around the time our second baby was two months old, my BF met a 25-year-old woman and started fucking her. He fell in love with this woman, and she wanted him to leave me for her. He said no. For a year, he was fucking me, his ex, and this 25-year-old woman. The 25-year-old woman cut off contact with him, and he felt rejected, so he found a 26-year-old woman and started fucking her every week. Meanwhile, we've been trying to have another baby and now I'm two months pregnant.

And I still love this fucking lying asshole who has been cheating on me and fucking around on me the entire time we've been together.

I feel so fucked, I feel so angry. I feel like my life with him has been a farce. But I need help with my kids. I can't imagine being single with two toddlers and another baby on the way. I am so horny lately because of raging hormones as well. I am considering giving him another chance, but I feel weak and disappointed in myself for still loving him. On the other hand, I wonder if I can manage my pregnancy and kids by myself.

Help, I really need some guidance about whether to consider having this asshole back in my life.

Mind Fucked At Christmas

My unsatisfying, unhelpful response... after the jump.

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I'm so sorry, MFAC—sorry I don't have a time machine, sorry I can't undo the last seven years.

But... undoing the last seven years means undoing your kids, and that isn't something you would be interested in doing. At least I hope it's not. Because whatever else is going on with the Fucking Lying Asshole (FLA) whose DNA you've scrambled yours together with, MFAC, you presumably love your kids and wouldn't want to undo them for anything in the world. And since I don't have a time machine—only Prudie does—the time-machine option is off the table. So let's talk about the actual choice you have to make: being the single parent of three kids or giving FLA "another chance." Two thoughts:

1. This isn't a choice you have to make immediately, MFAC. Take your time, lean on your friends for help, call on your family for support, and really think about it. And bear this in mind while you deliberate: Giving FLA "another chance" doesn't mean you're stuck with FLA for the rest of your life. You can have FLA back in your life on your own terms, and for your own purposes, for as long as you like. After your kids are out of diapers, preschool, high school, or the house—take your pick—you can revisit your decision to take him back.

2. When you say you're thinking about giving him "another chance," MFAC, what do you mean? If you mean "another chance to be with me, to live with me, to raise his kids together with me," then you're being realistic. But if you mean "another chance to make and keep a monogamous commitment to me," then you're not being realistic. I don't subscribe to the "once a cheater, always a cheater" theory (although the science points toward "once a cheater, likelier to cheat again"), but this particular cheater is clearly incapable of keeping a monogamous commitment. So taking him back—giving FLA another chance—means taking back a man who is going to cheat on you again. If you couldn't handle being cheated on again, MFAC, don't give him another chance.

But while you would be foolish to expect him to honor a monogamous commitment, MFAC, I think you should ask him to make one if you do decide to give him another chance. Even if you're being realistic, even if by "another chance" you mean "another chance to be with me, to live with me, to raise his kids together with me" and not "another chance to make and keep a monogamous commitment to me," you should demand a monogamous commitment from him as a condition of taking him back. He will still cheat on you, MFAC, but he'll be discreet about it—he won't want you to find out again—and that should keep the cheating to a minimum.

I'm so sorry you're in this awful situation.