Now that the contestants have spent some time in Chris's desolate hometown of Arlington, Iowa, episode 8 has Chris meeting the families of the women he's in a group relationship with. In no other setting is it more apparent how completely insane the premise of The Bachelor is. It's easy to get swept away with all the roses and "romance," but make no mistake that what you're watching is a heavily-directed television show based on Chris Soules—the farmer who almost married another woman in the last season of The Bachelorette—finding and impregnating a wife from a pool of 30 women chosen by ABC. And now we're meeting the families of the last four women competing for this healthy relationship.

Becca's sister is like: "Chris, Becca is a virgin and it's awkward that you're here because we have NEVER seen her with a dude or show affection to anyone in any way at all."

Whitney's sister is like: "No, idiot, I will not give you my blessing to propose to my sister because there are still four other options for you and I just met you. Call me when you get your head out of your ass."

Kaitlyn's family (mom and stepdad, dad and stepmom, and sister) are like: "We're the best family ever, we're so glad to see that Kaitlyn is happy—we support her! Even though this show seems kind of icky, as long as she's having a good time, we're down. We're the best and that's why Kaitlyn turned out so great! Plus, we're Canadian!"

Jade's brothers and father are like: "Chris, Jade is really, really wild and, um, she's maybe not into settling down in your tiny town. She's a wild mustang. I hope you let her be herself. She needs someone who won't, um, tie her down."

This "Jade is a mustang" makes no sense, considering she's the meekest contestant and has yet to show any defining personality traits besides "quiet." She herself hints to Chris that she has done some things in the past that would surprise him. Murder for hire? Sex for hire? Weed? Is it weed? WHAT IS JADE'S HUGE DAMNING SECRET?

It's Playboy. It's just Playboy. The "big-secret different-person free-spirit past" is some nude photos plus a nude video, both for Playboy, so probably all cheesy and NBD. Chris thinks it's kind of a big D, though, and reacts like a Quaker grandmother to Jade offering him a look at the photos online. He later says to the camera: "I saw her out of her shell. Completely out of her shell. It's not a deal breaker. This doesn't mean that she can't be an incredible mother and an incredible wife."

Guuuuhhhhhhhhh

At the rose ceremony, it's the hardest decision that Chris has ever had to make, AGAIN. Obviously Jade is eliminated in this round, thank gawd—Chris and Iowa are way too conservative for her light nudity and "wild mustang" ways. Zzzzzz.

In case you missed them, read Bachelor recaps from episode 4, episode 5, and episode 6.