I know there's a billion folks out there who wanna build a better mousetrap, and I'm all for new and cool shit, but this thing, the "Universal Record," makes me both "kicky" AND "punchy." This particular item I sussed via Consequence of Sound's bit: "This Bluetooth disc turns any MP3 into a vinyl record, and it sounds like the real McCoy." Oh, jeebus.

Inventor Jesse England (sought to answer) the question, “In the record listening experience, how important is the still environment and kinetic spectacle? With modern tangible media supplanted by cross-platform, network-based storage and playback, is contemporary record and turntable ownership a novelty, or an effort towards meditative stability?” To answer this, England built a Bluetooth audio receiver he calls the Universal Record. The device works much like those aux-cable cassette adaptors you used to use to play your iPod through your car stereo, except here you’ve eliminated cables and can use any Bluetooth-capable device. You can even hook up a Bluetooth transponder to any old Discman or Walkman and play your old Eagles tape on your fancy turntable.

So, you're not really "playing" this thing, the stylus vibrates, but is a passive contact; to reproduce the "record playing experience," the Universal Record has a transducer which interprets input from the Bluetooth as a vibration that is translated to the "vinyl ring" on top of the platter. Oh, and "its suggested the 'vinyl ring' sounds best when not spinning" because it's not meant to produce sound—it's just supposed to represent a record. Um, by the looks of this disc, if you choose to spin the disc the thing will prolly wreck your stylus. I hate to sound like a cranky record nerd, but the fact that playing records is now viewed as novelty strikes me as slightly offensive. I've always thought it was fucked that folks insist on calling ALL records "vinyl," but goddamnit, England seems to think there is a "quasi-religious ceremony of putting on a record." Huh? We're not ALL rich audiophiles, bruh! Also, who (besides a techy, I guess) would think fake playing records equals playing records?! I'm hoping this thing remains in prototype phase only.