Hey, did you know there are Democrats who aren’t Hillary who are running for president this election? No, I’m not talking about those weird mole people who run every election with slogans like “9-11 was a hoax” and “Who killed Tupac?” I’m talking about respected, experienced politicians. Adorable, isn’t it? Let’s take a look at the other announced “contenders.”

Lincoln Chaffee is a former two-time senator and governor from Rhode Island. If you aren’t familiar with him in Dem circles, it’s because he used to be a Republican, then an Independent, now a Democrat. Is he the flip-flopper that George W. Bush-era Republicans dream of? Not exactly. As a Republican senator, Chaffee was the president of pain in George W. Bush’s ass. He consistently voted against the administration, including the Iraq War (an invasion which Hillz supported) and tax cuts for the wealthy. He’s also a dedicated environmentalist. After six years or so of voting like a human instead of a party hack, and the Republican party being like, “Do you even go here?,” Chaffee branched out to do his own thing. Can Chaffee win the nomination? I dunno—polls have him slightly behind Hillary at 69-1.

Jim Webb is a former senator from Virginia. Webb is a decorated former Marine and war hero who is now firmly anti-interventionist. He is also reported to be a political outsider with no strong ties to the party machine. Webb is known for his sharp critiques of Wall Street and his undying love of guns. Webb’s campaign website says he is a “Public Servant. Warrior. Author. Film Maker.” Basically, he’s Rambo—that’s what I’m going with. Can he win? He seems like a candidate who would actually do well in the general election with his moderate stance and combat experience, but it’s really hard to get past a Democratic primary when you make love to the Second Amendment and argue that affirmative action is unfair to white people.

There are other potentials who are considering throwing their hats in the ring, like Martin O’Malley (almost definitely going to run) and Bernie Sanders (currently checking his bank account to see if he can afford it), but so far these two are the only official alternatives we’ve got. Ugh. Why won’t Elizabeth Warren run? She’s already president OF MY HEART.