Gay guy in my early 30s here. Last night, with my boyfriend's permission, I engaged in a kinky hookup/play party with some guys from a kink site. It was amazing! I honestly feel like a new man; I got to explore a part of me I hadn't enjoyed in a while. I want to thank you, first, for teaching me that I can have this and a stable relationship at the same time. I don't think I ever would have realized that on my own. Now my two questions:

1. Would it be creepy or nice of me to text a thank-you note to the ones whose numbers I got at the party? A good time was had by all, and there was plenty of talk of meeting up again, but I don't want to come on too strong or creep anybody out.

2. I texted a friend to say I'm no longer a "gay unicorn," since this is my first brush with non-monogamy, unlike seemingly most other partnered gay men. She pointed out that that "unicorn" is a term for bi women into mixed-sex threeseomes, which is fair, but I also felt like a mythical animal, since you've called gay men who are into threesomes "horses." So how does "pegasus" sound for the strictly monogamous gay male crowd?

Perhaps Erstwhile Gay Anomaly Shall Undertake Sexting?

P.S. I'm happy to give you lurid details off the record, but there are no pics to send you.

1. Send thank-you notes to the organizers/hosts of the party ("I had a blast, thanks for putting that together!") and contact-info-swap notes to the non-hosts/non-organizers that you interacted with at the party ("It was great to meet you—may name is XXXX, and this is my number."). You won't be seen as a pest/stalker/creep unless you send multiple thank-you/fuck-me texts.

2. I see what you did there, PEGASUS: Bi girls who wanna be the third for opposite-sex couples are so hard to find that they're called unicorns—and gay men whose relationships are strictly monogamous are so hard to find that maybe they should be called unicorns as well? But I agree with your friend: unicorn, in a sexual context, has an established meaning—the bi girl up for a one-off threeway and/or an ongoing thing with an opposite-sex couple. It would be confusing if "unicorn" meant the opposite (not up for threeways or any other form of non-monogamy) when it was used to refer to a gay guy.

Backing up: a gay guy up for a threeway and/or an ongoing thing with a gay couple is, like I said in the column you cite, more like a horse...

We gays don't have a special term for a guy open to sleeping with a male couple. But if we were going to give that guy an affectionate nickname, FLUSTER, I would go with "horse." Because a horse, while a magnificent and majestic beast in its own right, is a whole lot easier to come by—and in and on and over—than one of those nearly-impossible-to-find bi female unicorns.

...because most gay guys are up for threeways. So what about "pegasus" for the less common strictly monogamous gay? Hm... it's cute, PEGASUS, but I don't think strictly monogamous gay men are as rare as bi girls up for threeways/ongoing things with opposite-sex couples. And despite the implicit compliment—strictly monogamous gay men are rare and wonderful!—most strictly monogamous gay men will have a knee-jerk negative reaction to "pegasus," PEGASUS, as most are offended by the suggestion that they're sexual outliers.