Originally posted on January 22, 2014.

I'm 45, female, and married to a smart, funny, intelligent 50-year-old man. We've been together nine years, married seven. The sex was good for the first year and then dropped off to nothing. He says, "I've had plenty of sex in my life. I'm just not interested anymore." During my first marriage, the sex was so bad that I thought, "If I could find a man who loved to cuddle, I could go the rest of my life without sex." Perfectly describes husband number two! Except now I feel more sexual than I ever have! I've discussed this with my husband endlessly and have mentioned open marriage, but nothing ever comes of it. I'm not an instigator, although I have tried a few times and have been rejected. Yes, he has had his testosterone checked. It's normal. Not even going to a therapist helped. What do I do? He's a great guy, he loves me and my grown kids unconditionally, but we are more friends/roommates than husband and wife. We have a safe, comfortable life, but I'm too young to go without that for the rest of my life!

Careful What You Wish For

My response after the jump...

He's done with sex, and you're not—so you get to fuck other people, and he doesn't get to say anything about it. Take a lover, CWYWF, take two. There are tons of men out there in sexless marriages that they don't want to end because they love their wives or they love their kids or they can't be bothered or all of the above. Get your ass online and find one or two. If your husband is against an open marriage in principle—if he insists that you remain "monogamous" to him—tell him what he wants to hear and fuck other men regardless.