I'm a 23 year old female from central Florida (believe me, I don't like it either), and I've been happily married for almost six months now to a man I've been with for about three-and-a-half years. I've only recently started listening to the micro version of your podcast and absolutely love it, and each time I listen I come up with all these questions that I simply never had anyone to ask. Thankfully, this won't be about the relationship with my husband, but mostly stuff I'm not comfortable with asking anyone because almost the entire spectrum of sex, the reproductive part of the body, relationships and such was not (were not?) openly spoken about when I was growing up. I never really thought of myself as a sheltered child and the more time I spend with my husband, the more I learn I actually was. I apologise in advance for how long this will be (I tend to babble and rant), but I will do my best to make it as short as possible.

1. I work in retail...

...and I have a co-worker that for some unknown reason loves to give me her opinion on my life choices. It mostly started with me adamantly telling her I don't want kids now or ever and that my husband is in the same boat. "What if he changes his mind? What if you change your mind? You're just saying that because you're young. You'll change your mind some day" yadda yadda yadda, I get it all the fucking time with this girl. And I do mean girl—she's maybe a year older than me. I used to work with her once a week and she'd ask me every fucking week about whether or not I wanted kids, even though I'd given the same answer every time. Part of me feels she would do it to push my buttons and I still try hard not to give in to that and simply ignore her every criticism, until early spring this year when she told me I was doing my wedding wrong. I had planned (and had) a small, intimate wedding at a county park this past May and it was wonderful, but she felt that since I didn't want a big wedding and make a big fucking deal about it, that I was doing my first wedding (as if there'd be another!) "wrong". Fast forward to a month or so ago and she has since stopped asking me about kids, but she still freaks the fuck out about my decisions. I recently got promoted (which she got "offended" that I didn't tell her right away) and now I have no idea how to handle it should she basically start harassing me about this again. I am terrible at confronting people, I don't like it, and if I don't say something in the moment (the rare times I have said something in the moment, it was not nice), I tend to not say anything at all. This whole thing gets me fired up whether she says anything or not, to the point where I hate working with her (there are other work related reasons for that, too, but this is long enough already). Any advice you have or a direction you can point me in for this situation would be wonderful because I'm at my wits end with this girl.

2. The most recent podcasts I have listened to include you talking about men hitting their sexual peak in their teens and women in their late twenties or early thirties, this being related to men "discovering" themselves at an earlier age than women. I can't personally speak for other women, but I know I started some mild form of masturbation at about fourteen, moving on to fingering at about fifteen or sixteen. With that said, I am no expert on the female body despite being the owner of one. I have some abstract/loose ideas of what pleasures me (which I make sure to articulate as best as possible to my husband), but I don't know my turn ons/offs as well as my husband knows his. I know you are a man who thinks the female body is icky, but I was wondering if you had tips for a sheltered girl who would like to get to know her own body better. I have a vibrator that I have used and I love that, but I personally don't like using my fingers on myself. My husband likes using his own fingers and the vibrator on occasion and since he actually gets a chance to look at my lady parts, I mostly want to know my body better to help him get me off because he legitimately like to.

3. I'm not sure how to phrase this, but I am only good at one relationship at a time. I graduated high school pretty much hating everyone and everything and was diagnosed with depression in 2011. I've been in treatment ever since and though I don't think the two are linked (shit relationships and depression), I do think not knowing I had depression was the reason I didn't have too many friends growing up. I've gotten past all that and have a great relationship with my husband, as I've said before. I honestly couldn't care less about having friends of my own, though I do encourage him to hang out with his friends whenever he can. My only problem with this is that it is also affects the relationships I have with my family. Before meeting my husband, my one good relationship was with my mom. Granted, we didn't have big discussions on anything and if she ever brought up "life", I'd shut down, but we hung out all the time and it was nice. I think at first she was really hurt that I kind of stopped hanging out with her when I met my husband, but maybe let that go once she saw how happy I was. The other problem I have with this is that I couldn't care less about being close with my siblings (two sisters, one brother) or my dad (which wasn't a great relationship to begin with). I think that more than anything hurts my mom, and I know it hurts my brother that I don't exactly get along with my dad. My question is this: since I currently believe that my "one good relationship" thing isn't going to go away, how to do I get my family to understand this about me without hurting anyone?

I'm sure I could have sent you three separate emails about this, and I truly apologise for how long-winded it is. I guess I should add I'm incapable of concisely expressing my thoughts/feelings. Anyway, if you can only answer one of those questions, or even if you tell me to fuck off for taking up too much of your time, any response would be great.

So Many Questions Girl

1. Ignore the dumb fuck. And if you get (or already got) promoted over her, you could fire her. But since learning to ignore irritating people is a life skill that all adults who don't aspire to be spree killers must acquire at some point, SMQG, it might be better for all involved (all two of you) if you regarded this dumb fuck as a learning opportunity.

2. I don't think "the female body is icky," at least not objectively speaking. The female body is beautiful and luscious... to people who are into those sorts of bodies. Which I am not. But my disinterest doesn't make them not beautiful and luscious. Similarly, I think oysters are icky. But lots of folks love 'em, my husband included, and will literally put those subjectively disgusting things in their mouths.

And that sexual peak stuff? It's likely a myth and I'm doing my best to unlearn it and to stop repeating it. Why does it seem like men hit their sexual peak in their teens and women later in life? Well, maybe it's because boys are encouraged to think of themselves as sexual (horny boys are the heroes of teen comedies, for example, while horny girls don't exist in teen comedies and are slaughtered in teen horror flicks), boys aren't slut shamed, and boys are raised to feel entitled to go for whatever they want. Women, on the other hand, are discouraged from seeing themselves as sexual, they are brutally slut shamed as girls (and by girls), and girls are raised to defer, not demand. It stands to reason that women need time to dig themselves out from under all the crap heaped up on them in childhood—e.g., what all boys are encouraged to get out there and do by age 18 many women don't find the courage to get out there and do until after age 28.

Or as the sexologist Ava Cadell told Details: "As women mature, they become more comfortable in their own skin and gain sexual confidence to communicate their wants, needs, and desires."

For tips on exploring your lady parts, I recommend Dr. Debby Herenick's book Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.

3. Make time to see your mom—maybe when your husband is hanging out with friends. You owe her that. Be polite to your dad—you two don't click, but he wasn't a monster. It's possible your depression prevented you from bonding with your father in your teens or wore away the bond that was already there. He may deserve another chance.) Siblings tend to grow apart, so don't torture yourself about not being tight. But if your feelings toward them are "could take 'em or leave 'em" feelings toward your siblings, SMQG, you should err on the side of taking 'em every once in a while. Because once mom and dad are gone, your siblings are still going to be there. And if the shit ever hits the fan, if your marriage should (God forbid) should fall apart, or if you and your husband fall on hard times and you need help, it's your siblings you'll be calling.