Wow, People Magazine. You got an "exclusive" on the new Duggar baby. That's an impressive get. Because if there's anything we've learned about the Duggars over their two decades in the public eye—besides the religious bigotry, the theocratic cult, the creepy sexism, the homophobia, the transphobia, the molestations, the coverup, and the sex scandals—it's how publicity-averse the Duggar family is and how rarely a Duggar reproduces. Jessa herself is like a cross between Greta Garbo and a panda.

So bravo, People, on the big scoop.