Savage Love Letter of the Day: Ex-Mormon Wants to Come Out as Poly to Mormon Family


I was Mormon my entire life, Mormon missionary, married a Mormon girl, both families intensely Mormon. For multiple reasons, I left Mormonism about a year ago. One of the more weighty reasons was because of their stance and views regarding homosexuality and how they treat LGBT people.

My wife and I started exploring polyamory 3-4 years ago. The first year was mostly mental exploration. For us, it came from a place of feeling really confident in our relationship, and our ability that love was not a limited resource, even if time was. Then we felt comfortable enough to explore intimate and sexual relationships with others. Polyamory including multiple romantic relationships (not just sex) really seems to resonate with our emotional make-up and has so far been a great enriching aspect to our marriage. To the point, it’s becoming somewhat painful for us to not share that aspect of our life with our very Mormon families. Our closest friends know. My current girlfriend is very polyamorous as well. And came out to her family. That was a mixed bag of awesome, and bad. Her family is significantly more liberally minded for the most part.

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Milo Yiannopoulos Gets Dropped from CPAC

He'd been invited to speak at CPAC, the annual unhinged wingnutapalooza. But that was before this. But Yiannopoulos is out...

Organizers of the Conservative Political Action Conference announced Monday that they have withdrawn a speaking invitation to Milo Yiannopoulos, a gay conservative Breitbart editor, after video surfaced of him defending sexual relationships between 13-year-old boys and grown men. President Trump will also be speaking at the annual conservative headliner event later this week.

Remember when conservatives were in an uproar because censorious leftwing college students were protesting Yiannopoulos's appearances on their campuses? Two tweets...

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Milo Yiannopoulos: Girls Are In Danger When Adult Trans Women Use Public Toilets But 13-Year-Old Boys Can Benefit From Giving Head To Adult Males


Update: Milo Yiannopoulos just got dropped from CPAC.

Milo Yiannopoulos was on Real Time on Friday night, where he justified his history of harassing trans women by claiming he's protecting women and girls from sexual predators. Here's Yiannopoulos doing his stepin-felch-it routine during the Overtime segment:

MAHER: [Reading a question submitted by a viewer.] "Why did you single out a transgender student for ridicule during a recent speech you made on her campus?" Did you do that?

YIANNOPOULOS: Well, yes. First of all, wasn't a student. He had already left the university. And I make no apologies for protecting women and children from men who are confused about their sexuality identity... I misgendered this person.

MAHER: I'm confused about who this is, because pronouns are so important. If you call Caitlin Jenner a "he" you're a bad person — 

YIANNOPOULOS: No, I did it on purpose. I misgendered this person.

MAHER: So this is a man, born a man, who wants — 

YIANNOPOULOS: Who thinks he might be a girl.

MAHER: And you have a problem with that?

YIANNOPOULOS: No, I don't have a problem with it. But I think that women and girls should be protected from having men who are confused about their sexual identities in their bathrooms.

MAHER: That's not unreasonable.

I'm sorry, Bill, but that's not reasonable—it's the textbook definition of unreason. It's a lie and a dangerous one, as I unpacked in this post:

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Savage Love Letters of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up


My inbox received so much advice (and hate mail) this week that I'm pretty sure Savage Love readers broke a record. Here's the smartest (and meanest) advice/feedback sent in from readers over the past week.

In response to A Strep Too Far:

Dan, you answered a letter about a woman repeatedly catching strep from a boyfriend. In the letter, the woman's ENT told her the only solution was to avoid contact with the guy. You were dubious. One thing that didn't get stressed, in the letter or recent call, is that strep throat is caused by group A streptococcus, a bacteria type that manifests itself in different ways and doesn't only exist in the tonsils. It often lives on the skin, and in carriers, does it without causing infection. I don't know whether using a bactericide on hands and cock before deep throating activity, could work, but it might be worth a try. The carrier state is, apparently, considered "an enigma." It might be reasonable to assume that the carrier boyfriends cannot be cured of being carriers and the girlfriends who keep getting sick are unusually susceptible to this bacteria.

A follow-up from a caller on the Savage Lovecast:

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Savage Love: Pair of Aces

Joe Newton

I've been reading your advice column in the Coast in Halifax for a while, and it seems that most solutions to relationship problems revolve around sex. Everyone wants it or needs it, we should fuck before dinner, or we can spice up our sex life in this certain way to be happy. What about someone who doesn't want to have sex, ever? I've asked other people for advice, and the answer is usually "take one for the team," have sex to keep them happy. Is that the only way I could find happiness in a relationship? It's not something I want to do—but at this point, I don't see any other options.

All Alone Ace

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The President Is Insane

A post shared by dansavage (@dansavage) on

We got it right on election night: We're fucked.

Rachel Maddow: Something's Up Between Jill Stein & Putin

Yeah, how come none of our chatty, third-party candidates have had anything to say since the this Trump/Russia scandal has broken? Hm.

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why Is My Gay Son Hooking Up With a Girl?


I just found out that my 16-year-old son, who's been out since age 11, was making out with a longtime female friend over the weekend and is now confused about it. As am I. I know he's been frustrated that he's never dated, and all his (straight) friends seem to be coupled up right now. He's a tall handsome kid and this girl was always attracted to him though she knew he was gay. I know that hormones run high in adolescence, but in your experience is it common for gay teens to experiment with the opposite sex? He doesn't know that I know, and I'm flummoxed over how/whether to bring this up. I'd really appreciate any light you can shed.

Mom Observes

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Don't Worry, Dating's Hard for Everyone


I'm a 34-year-old woman living in Portland and I'm fucking lonely and horny and not sure what to do to fix it. I've tried plenty of online dating sites and apps, but they haven't produced any successful relationships (or even good sex). I'm starting to feel like I'll be alone forever. I want a committed relationship, companionship—a man with an amazing penis and giving tongue (lol). I want a travel partner. I want to be more outgoing. Overall, I want to be loved.

Most guys seem to only want to "try a black girl" in bed. (I absolutely hate when people say that. A vagina isn't different because of my skin color.) I'm pretty, I have a professional career, education, an open mind, no baggage, an open heart, and a group of solid friends (but they are all partnered with kids). I'd love to be social, but I'm not sure where to go to meet people (men and new friends). I have no race boundaries but I feel like others do.

I go to the gym, malls, grocery stores & there's no men there. I guess my question to you is how do I get out of this funk of depression? How do I meet professional men and approach them? Do you think leaving Portland is the solution?

Love Starved Black Girl

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Michael Flynn: That Deescalated Quickly, Over And Out, You're Fired, Etc.

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Facebook Stalking Pharmacist Questions His Ethics


I'm a gay man in my late 20's who works for a national pharmacy chain. At my old store, there were three cute guys who were semi-regular patients; they don't know each other, and I knew each one by name. I was transferred to another location, and yet, even now, I find myself occasionally "Facebook-stalking" them. I have never sent any of them a message; I just admire from afar, so to say. I think they're all adorable, but I would only bet that one of them is actually gay (I saw him go into a bar just after I got out of that same bar). What is protocol here? Do I wait until I quit the company altogether to send a friend request? Could I get in trouble for HIPAA violations? What should I do?

Prowling Internet, Lusting Lovers

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Trump's Sweeping Immigration Raids Have Started


U.S. immigration authorities launched a series of raids, traffic stops and checkpoints in at least half a dozen states across the country on Thursday and Friday, sweeping up an unknown number of undocumented immigrants, immigration lawyers and advocates said. The raids, which appeared to target scores of undocumented immigrants, including those without criminal records, mark the first largescale episode of immigration enforcement inside the United States since President Trump’s Jan. 26 order to crack down on the estimated 11 million immigrants living here illegally. It also appeared to signal a departure from the Obama administration’s prioritized immigration enforcement against criminals.

Checkpoints, random ID checks, attacks on sanctuary cities—go read the whole thing.

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Straight Guy Can't Win


Forty-ish straight white dude here, Dan. I have this weird (possibly misogynistic) belief that, when it comes to sex, I can't win. Actually, I think men in general can't win. Thoughtful, well-meaning men, at least. It comes down to this: During sex, if the man doesn't come, it's the man's fault, because he clearly has problems with his dick and is barely even a man and should be ashamed of himself. If the woman doesn't come, it's also the man's fault, because he's clearly bad at sex and doesn't even care and is barely even a man and should be ashamed of himself.

So, am I a misogynist or just a guy with issues? Any advice for me moving forward?

Yeah, I Got Issues

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Impeach the motherfucker already! Get your ITMFA buttons, t-shirts, hats and—soon—lapel pins and coffee mugs at! All proceeds benefit ACLU, PP, and IRAP!

Sugar and Spicer and Everything Nicer: A Slew of Delightful Videos to Start Your Day

What happens when an actual Christian wanders into a Republican representative's town hall meeting in Tennessee? Watch:

A schoolteacher in Utah peels the bark off insufferable shit Jason Chaffetz at a town hall meeting...

Washington state's own Bob Ferguson responds to Trump's unhinged, all-caps "SEE YOU IN COURT" tweet...

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