As you obviously already know, The Expendables' cast is an action-hero supergroup—like the Traveling Wilburys of blowing up dudes' heads. Or the Jetsons Meet the Flintstones of knives meeting dudes' heads. You got your Stallone, your Statham, your Schwarzenegger, your Willis, your Lundgren, your Rourke, your Li, your Crews, and on and on and on and on and on and on into eternity (and then eternity BLOWS UP!!! Go America!!!). The movie is a wrinkly hootenanny of aging bravado and lumpy musculature and also some awesome musculature and also cocaine. This is some ridiculous shit. If you think you might like it, you will. If not, flee. (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film.)