Turns out that the very last reading ever to happen in Elliott Bay's famous Pioneer Square reading room (before they close the store on March 31 and move up to Capitol Hill) is the director of Robocop and Showgirls. Not only that, but he's reading from his new book, Jesus of Nazareth, which looks at the philosophies and language of the historical Jesus. What the fuck?! But whatever: Surely you're dying to ask some questions about Basic Instinct (he directed that, too), and surely you'd like to say good-bye to the historic space before you welcome the exciting new face of Elliott Bay. (Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. 7 pm, free.)