Putting a long-overdue honky-tonk spin on the classic Pygmalion, 1984's Rhinestone stars Dolly Parton as a boobalicious Henrietta Higgins and Sylvester Stallone as the guy she has to turn into a bona fide country singer—and if she fails, she's got to have sex with Ron Leibman! This movie is terrible, and tonight we'll be watching it all the way through, hosted and casually annotated by me. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, www.brownpapertickets.com. 7 pm, $7.)