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MONDAY
READINGS & TALKSThe Beautiful Struggle
This panel aims to inspire Seattle's queer, of-color community with stories about resistance to bigotry and the work of community-building. Participants include Christopher Peguero, Dominique Stephens, Luis Fernando Ramirez, and Sonj Basha.
The Magic Hat Presented by Emmett Montgomery and Friends
Five "brilliant humans(?)", ranging from seasoned stand-up comics to sketch performers to audience members, are selected (presumably out of the Magic Hat) throughout the show to perform weekly at this comedy variety show, otherwise described as a "friendship machine that will make the world a better place."
MONDAY-TUESDAY
COMEDYChristmas S***show
Baby Jesus & co. ring in the holiday season with a "peyote-fueled" romp, and you're invited to participate in the festivities with a drinking game.
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY
ARTSuper Cooper 10
See art (paintings, sketches, sculptures, photographs, a kayak, and more) by current and former tenants/artists from a Seattle anti-racist art hub: the Cooper Artist Housing and the Youngstown Cultural Arts Center.
MONDAY-FRIDAY
PERFORMANCEVietgone
So often we hear stories about the end of the American war in Vietnam that focus on the experiences of shell-shocked American soldiers returning to a country they don't quite understand anymore. But this ain't your typical play about the legacy of that war. Directed by May Adrales and produced in association with Oregon Shakespeare Festival, Qui Nguyen's geeky, formally adventurous, and energetic love story centers on the lives of two Vietnamese immigrants as they travel around the US learning the language and navigating the complexities of refugee camps. Los Angeles Times theater critic Charles McNulty says the play won him over with its innovative use of music and language, but also "with its simple honesty." RICH SMITH
MONDAY-SATURDAY
ART10th Annual Holiday Mini Art Extravaganza
Enjoy hundreds of examples of miniature art—and stock up on affordable gifts for art lovers—at this exhibit featuring works by local and global artists. Don't holiday-shop without this place.
TUESDAY
READINGS & TALKSDead Feminists: Chandler O’Leary and Jessica Spring
At this talk, signing, and pop-up shop, learn about feminist history and letterpress from Chandler O’Leary and Jessica Spring. Their new book, Dead Feminists: Historic Heroines in Living Color, is based on their letterpress poster series that shows "how ordinary and extraordinary women have made a difference throughout history."
TUESDAY-THURSDAY
ARTPunk Rock Flea Market
V2 used to be a Value Village; since the closure of that venerable thrift store, it's been used as an ad hoc arts space. Well, Punk Rock Flea Market is going to show the building out with a bang, because after this holiday fair and music extravaganza, V2 is getting gutted. So come enjoy the live music (the Fe Fi Fo Fums, The Solvents, and the Bucharest Drinking Team) and DJs while you buy cool stuff.
TUESDAY-FRIDAY
ARTDick Weiss and Paul Marioni
Dick Weiss's Up and At 'em features a new series of leaded glass screens by artist Dick Weiss. If you've visited enough gallery shows in Seattle, you might recognize his work—but if you've ever flown in through SeaTac, you've probably seen his cascading works incorporated into windows at the airport. This show closes this week, as does Traver Gallery's other show Maybe, featuring new works by glass artist Paul Marioni (a founding member of the American Studio Glass movement). Go see them both.
Mark Calderon
Seattle artist Mark Calderon's lovely sculptures can be subdued, but his new pieces made of mica and felt are historical and political. The mica works—flat sheets with deep wells of internal variety in their coloring—are hands, based on an example from the prehistoric North American "Hopewell" culture of a hand made from cut mica. In Cry, a pair of hands rises into the position to amplify someone’s voice. Cry, maybe, but cry out, too, they seem to say. When Calderon uses felt, he dyes it and shapes it into iconic prize fighters. And his piece Apology, a cast-bronze figure crumpled all the way over, is another example of a contemporary artist (like Seattle’s Akio Takamori) making his way through the need for remorse. JEN GRAVES
TUESDAY-SATURDAY
PERFORMANCEA Christmas Carol
ACT Theatre's production of A Christmas Carol is a dependable, simple pleasure, with just enough variation to warrant returning year after year.
Disney's The Little Mermaid
5th Avenue Theatre's production of Disney's The Little Mermaid is like one giant fuck you to winter. And winter cometh. The air is colder. Don't you just want to be under the water where everything's hotter? You do. But there's more than just seasonal utility here. The music by Alan Menken is great, and lyricist Howard Ashman was a genius who did not enjoy nearly enough time on this planet. Seattle’s own Diana Huey will surely charm as Ariel, and I have every faith that the 5th Avenue will come through with some underwater dazzle. Dazzle aside, in the consumerist glare of the holiday season, this show reminds us of the power of the human voice, promotes the joys of fostering an active imagination over the ease of passive consumption (compare snarfblatts), and advocates for meaningful connections to others who are not like you. Not bad for a family-friendly affair. RICH SMITH
George Balanchine's The Nutcracker
If you haven't seen this Christmas classic since you were a kid, give it a go this year. In 2014 PNB replaced its beloved Maurice Sendak set with one by Ian Falconer, who did the Olivia the Pig books, and I'm glad that they did. The new set is gorgeous in a Wes Anderson-y way, and it reflects the genuine weirdness and beauty in the story. I mean, the last 45 minutes of this thing is Katy Perry video starring dancing desserts and a glittery peacock that moves like a sexy broken river. Bring a pot lozenge. RICH SMITH
Homo for the Holidays
This drag and burlesque gigglefest features a bunch of wacky little holiday-themed skits that our own Dan Savage once called "FUCKING GREAT… FUCKING HILARIOUS!" Now in its ninth year, Homo for the Holidays is joined by Waxie Moon, with the likes and liknessess of the great BenDeLaCreme and Cherdonna. You should get plastered before you go, if only to help make your yuletide gayer. RICH SMITH
Land of the Sweets: The Burlesque Nutcracker
Celebrate the 11th anniversary of The Burlesque Nutcracker with Lily Verlaine and Jasper McCann. If you're looking for a sexy holiday show experience, this promises both familiar stories and exciting, clothes-dropping times.
Sarah McRae Morton: Mapping Stars at Noon
This solo show of scenic, often historical paintings by Sarah McRae Morton—who had her first lessons in chiaroscuro by watching the Amish by candlelight in rural Pennsylvania where she grew up—closes this weekend.
WEDNESDAY
FOOD & DRINKWork Release 5
Work Release is a series of pop-up dinners hosted at the Carlile Room in which local kitchen foot soldiers—line cooks, sous chefs, and chefs de cuisine who are usually cooking someone else’s food—get a chance to take the reins. You might get a guy from a swanky Italian joint making Hawaiian barbecue, or a guy from a hip Korean place making German schnitzel. The last one, with the Carlile Room’s own Creston White, was French bistro food and it was phenomenal. His bordelaise-drenched pomegranate endive salad was a particularly pleasant way to remove all illusion of healthful eating from the salad course. This one is with Jesse Elliott, previously a collaborator with Carlile Room booze overseer Nick Jarvis at Jam Pop-Up. Jesse currently runs the kitchen at Witness, though his previous experience trends Italian. For this dinner, it looks like he’s feeling North African flavors, and they look amazing. Beef tartare with couscous, Moroccan braised lamb, and a pastilla with chicken mousse and dehydrated honey, among others. Well worth the $65, especially considering that includes Jarvis’s well-thought-out booze pairings. TOBIAS COUGHLIN-BOGUE
Gay People in Seattle December Mixer
Everything you could possibly want from the holidays can be found at the Gay People in Seattle December mixer. The informal queer social group has teamed up with Immanuel Community Services for a friendly wine-and-cheese mixer, featuring a performance by Gay Uncle Jeffrey and information about how you can support ICS’s food and shelter programs. Along with friendly chitchat about how you’ve been and how cold the weather’s been lately, you’ll be delighted by Jeffrey’s avuncular storytelling and the opportunity to lend a helping hand to the important work of ICS. Wear your ugliest sweater and bring a sprig of mistletoe for a night that’s certain to be gayer than Christmas itself. MATT BAUME
Family Affair
Jennifer Jasper hosts this monthly variety show described as "cabaret, served up family style," with each event benefiting a different local, artistically engaged family dealing with an unexpected crisis.
WEDNESDAY & FRIDAY
PERFORMANCEThe Slipknot
The Slipknot is a theater performance/comic monologue about the hell in everyday work: "stocking shelves at a drug store, driving a truck, and answering phones at the post office." Written by TJ Dawe, performed by Andrew Litzky, and directed by K. Brian Neel.
WEDNESDAY-SATURDAY
PERFORMANCEDina Martina Christmas Show
You'd think the chubby-older-woman-with-a-hairy-back-and-no-talent-but-thinks-she's-God's-gift-to-singing shtick would get old, but it doesn't, because Grady West, who inhabits her horrible fashion choices, is a world-class artist, a first-rate writer, and a comedy genius. (He has a Stranger Genius Award.) There's something so enduringly brilliant about Dina Martina's incurably bonkers self-empowerment, but also something grim and beastly about who she would be without it. I saw the Dina Martina Christmas Show with someone who hadn't seen a Dina show in a decade, and she couldn't believe how much funnier it was than she remembered. CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE
Wonderland
Can Can will transform its venue into a snowy chalet and populate it with teasing beauties.
THURSDAY
ARTDrink & Draw
Come to Capitol Cider, sip on a delicious adult beverage from one of their 20 rotating taps, and sketch live models using free art supplies from Gage Academy of Art. Stick around after for live music.
THURSDAY-FRIDAY
PERFORMANCEPeter and the Starcatcher
Peter and the Starcatcher is a Tony Award-winning play about Peter Pan's backstory—written by Rick Elice, with music by Wayne Barker, and based on the novel by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson.
Christine Babic: When She Dies, You Too Will Die
When Christine Babic was 2 years old, an oil tanker struck a reef in the waters just beyond her fishing village and spilled so much crude oil that you can still find it today in some places if you simply dig up the top layer of earth. That was the Exxon Valdez. Babic was born and raised in Cordova, Alaska, on the land of her Suqpiaq ancestors. Her grandmother had been kidnapped from there, put in boarding school, and forbidden from speaking her native language or practicing her own culture by the US government. She settled in Seattle, but her daughter, Babic’s mother, returned to Cordova to raise Babic—where in 1989 mass death visited the marine life there and the local economy was instantly devastated. Babic grew up in a family suddenly plunged into a struggle to make ends meet... This month at the Center for Contemporary Art, Babic has her first solo show in Seattle, the culmination of a residency she did in a shipping container of CoCA’s in Georgetown—the perfect environment to work with animal hides and skins, she said. Titled When She Dies, You Too Will Die, in reference to a prophecy about the relationship between a people and their land, the exhibition will include works made from the skins and hides of seals, rabbits, and caribou; from the dresses Babic wore as a young dancer, the American flags she took with her on a recent trip to stand with the protesters of the Dakota Access pipeline at Standing Rock, North Dakota, and her grandmother’s clothing; and a mask she carved from cottonwood. Meet Christine Babic. JEN GRAVES
THURSDAY & SATURDAY
PERFORMANCEThe Santaland Diaries
This production is based on David Sedaris' autobiographical essays about working as an elf at Macy's during the holiday season, and is described as a "combination of retail hell and theatrical spectacle." Performed by Patrick Lennon and directed by Kelly Kitchens.
FRIDAY-SATURDAY
PERFORMANCESugar Plum Gary
This snarky Christmas performance is devised and performed by beloved local comic and "mustache wizard" Emmett Montgomery. His character, Sugar Plum Gary, had a formative experience on "one magical Christmas Eve when Santa came to visit and [Gary] was the only survivor."
SATURDAY
FOOD & DRINKChristmas Eve All-Night Happy Hour at the Young American Ale House
Christmas Eve drinking is magic. If you're from Seattle, you get to see all your friends who flew the coop, but have come home to roost, however briefly. If you're not, you still get to go out and mingle with all the other youngish family escapers. Native or not, the important thing is that you escape your family and get schwasted like you used to in high school. Hopefully, however, you have classier taste than you did in high school, which is where YAAH comes in: they're doing all night happy hour to cater to your grown up desire for craft beer, artisan pizza, and their perfect poutine. You can fill up on Maria Hines' fine pub fare, pre-funk a bit, then cruise over to Al's or Kate's to really do it right. TOBIAS COUGHLIN-BOGUE
Christmas Eve Family-Style Meal at Eden Hill
Eden Hill is serving one of the super fancy tasting menus for which they are so beloved, but more interesting is the whole roasted Jidori chicken they're offering a la carte. Jidori chicken is, according to a shitload of breathless articles from the late aughts, the Kobe beef of chicken. If you're not a food nerd, that means it's some top notch fowl. If you want to have a familial experience, but don't have a large family or any desire to make Christmastime feasts, head on over and pick apart one of these delectable birds together. TOBIAS COUGHLIN-BOGUE
Christmas Eve Seahawks Game Viewing at Altstadt
Everyone's favorite neon green sportsballers are playing sportsball this Christmas Eve, which is, even for a non-sportsball fan like myself, wonderful news. Why? Because sportsball means drinking, and drinking on Christmas Eve is essential. This Christmas Eve, sportsball fans on their way to the stadium can do some drinking at Aldstadt, which will stay open to supply said fans with all the schnitzel and good German beer they need to properly enjoy all that subliminally militarized mock violence! TOBIAS COUGHLIN-BOGUE
Christmas Eve Menu at Tilth
If you want a holiday menu that's both upper-snuffy and proudly local, Tilth is for you. Check out the sturgeon caviar appetizers, the Aspen hollow lamb, and the pumpkin crème brûlée. Wine pairings $50 extra.
Christmas Eve Dinner at Lark
Highlights from this Christmas Eve dinner include Stellar Bay oysters, roast duck breast with savory figgy pudding or yam gnocchi with delicata squash, and pomegranate sorbet.
Christmas Eve "Feast of the Seven Fishes"
Agrodolce's Christmas Eve Dinner will honor the traditional Italian Feast of the Seven Fishes (or Five Fishes, for the more economical option).
SATURDAY-SUNDAY
FOOD & DRINKHoliday Dinner at the 5 Point
Choose food over chores this holiday and head to the 5 Point for a $21 dinner that includes spiral ham with honey glaze, mashed potatoes and gravy, garlic green beans, soup or salad, bread, and something to wash it down with.
