Welcome to Seattle, new college students!
It probably feels good to have escaped wherever you came from. Congratulations on landing in the fastest-growing city in the country, full of rock clubs, delicious food, pot smoke, pot edibles, youthful energy, assholes who don't know how to use the escalators in the light-rail stations, NFL stars, artists, straight people, gay people, trans people, nonbinary people, people who are offended at you for even asking, awnings that are noncontiguous and drip rain onto your head even though the whole point of awnings is not to drip rain onto your head, people riding Solowheels, and political leaders who run the gamut from left-wing to extremely left-wing. It's probably confusing to be in a new city and not know where to go or what to do. Most people have to figure it out on their own, but not you, because you've discovered The Stranger. Some people have all the luck.
These are going to be the most exhilarating and disorienting years of your life. Sure, you are going to learn things in school that blow your mind. But there's a whole bunch of stuff your school is not going to teach you, and it's going to blow other parts of your body even more. We are here to teach you what no one else will, because they are lazy or stupid or because it would be illegal.
If you are a straight guy, the number one most important thing you need to know is how not to rape someone. You probably think you already know, but you're wrong, as Rich Smith explains.
If you are a woman who's interested in sexual experimentation, the piece of advice Sydney Brownstone wishes someone would have given her before college is here.
If you are gay and under 21 but you really want to do drag—all the other guys are doing it—Chase Burns has important advice here.
If you've never tried alcohol or weed, and you want to know how to experiment with these substances without dying—or if you're a drunk old stoner who's thinking of trying harder drugs—Katie Herzog has advice no one else is going to give you here.
If you want to know where you can get some cheap, delicious food near campus, look here.
If you love music but can't figure out how to get into shows because you're not 21, look here.
If you're a musician who moved to Seattle because you have this feeling deep down that you're the next big thing, you need to read "How to Be in a Band" by Sean Nelson here. He doesn't mention it in there, but he started a band when he was a student at UW that went on to have a top-10 single.
Having trouble getting around town? Yeah, it's not easy. See here for tips.
Are you an international student? Click here.
See those mountains all around you? Go snowboarding. Dan Savage insists here.
Do you want to make a political difference while you're still in college? Good for you. Eli Sanders would like to have a word with you here.
Do you want to go vegan? Click here.
Do you like complaining? Us too! But you're doing it wrong. You probably don't even know how to complain about The Stranger yet. Heidi Groover has some tips here.
Are you disgusted with your professors? Think you're smarter than them? Appalled that they have the jobs they do? Goddamn it, you're part of the problem. Read this. Then we'll talk.