A Straight Guy's Guide to Not Raping People

We need to clear up a few misconceptions.

Comments

1
Not raping people is a great idea. The problem isn't unintentional raping. It's not a 'mistake' made due to misunderstanding of signals. The rapists I've known, including the one who raped me, knew perfectly well what "NO" meant. The coercive guys I've known have known perfectly well that their target wasn't enthusiastic. Guys sitting at the bar talking about how many drinks a girl has to have before she's an easy lay totally understand that sober, she wouldn't sleep with them.

So in the spirit of clearing up misconceptions, let's understand that straight guys aren't raping people out of cluelessness. They're doing it out of arrogance, entitlement, and an all-too-often accurate understanding of the odds of getting away with it.
2
Yeah, my understanding is that campus rapists are often repeat rapists--and yes, they do know what they are doing, they just don't admit it in public. So articles about "How not to be a rapist" could really usefully look into that, and how our society lets repeat rapists get away with it.
3
Betsy DeVos has now officially rolled back Obama-era guidance on Title IX. which means the Trump administration made clear that it does not and will not stand with survivors of sexual violence on campus. Join the protest against DeVos, Friday, October 13, 5:00-7:00pm at the Hyatt Regency, Bellevue... because FUCK THIS SHIT!!! http://bit.ly/2fGj7kE
4
If you want to kiss someone, state your desire plainly. "I want to kiss you"—or a variation on that statement in the form of a question—is FINE.

This is absolutely terrible advice. Everyone knows this. The earlier advice - just a few lines above, actually matches the real world: "There is no single way to solve this riddle." (other than rolling the dice)
5
@3 it seems like most of the educated world doesn't support the "Dear Colleague" letter and think the DeVos rollbacks on this particular matter are an improvement for victims and the accused. Check the Atlantic/Yoffe pieces if you haven't already.
6
This is comically out of touch with the realities of college, drinking and hook up sex. The fact is that there is no guide to any of this. The only thing i'm going to tell my son when he gets to an age when this will affect him is "ya better make damn sure she wants to that night, because some women rape easily the next day."
7
@6 gross
8
The old 1 in 5 myth. I feel like I'm being raped with that BS statistic. It's been easily debunked multiple times. The real number is 1.3 per 1000. (2012)
And even with a 60% non report rate that's still well below the 20 this fucked off study put out. If the fear and paranoia it produces weren't so delicious, liars like Rich Smith wouldn't keep serving it up.

How about this for a PSA?

"Rape is disgusting. If you rape, some people are going to catch you alone when you go to prison and smash your skull against the ground until you're unconscious and then throw you off the nearest tier. After that you will be forced to PC up and spend the rest of your sentence in an 8x10 solitary cell where you get rec 3 days a week in a 20x20 dog cage. Don't rape. With today's DNA tech you will get caught and you'll regret it if you do."
9
@7 I know, right? It's pretty fucked up but that's the reality of the situation. Get that consent signed in triplicate and notarized.
10
The "straight guys" who end up raping people are not going to be swayed by an instructional essay, and the people who think that these things are necessary are laughably unfamiliar with how sexual interactions actually work. Though if you think of how many times people who are activists for this type of stuff have been in stable, normal relationships with few emotional issues, so not really surprising there (otherwise Dan would've started some kind of "It Gets Yessier" campaign by now).

How did you manage to write things like what @4 quoted without it being a parody of a progressive man-wimp? Has a girl actually touched your dick before?
11
Women are weak and unable to make important sex decisions on their own. They lack all agency, and require societal overseers to manage their sex lives and protect their virtue. Men, who are strong enough to make decisions on their own, benefit from written guides, such as this one, to be able to know when to proceed with sex with a woman or not.

Is this 4th wave feminism or something? Dear god, the misogyny.
14
@3
Why do you hate Due Process?
Lynching went out of fashion several decades ago, get with the times.
15
buncha triggered straight dudes in here
16
@15 bunch of people who've had sex more often than Rich and know how the real world works outside of shivering waifs who just finished their first years of community college
17
@16, not mutually exclusive