Rush Limbaugh—drug addict, Viagra user—isn't in a position to mock other people's appearances. But that didn't stop him from suggesting that posting a photo of Nancy Pelosi in "every cheap hotel room in America" would cut the birth rate—because, hey, no man could get it up with Pelosi's ugly mug in the room, right? Ron Reagan Jr. bashes back:
Limbaugh hasn't had a natural erection since the Nixon Administration; think he's compensating for something? Now, I wouldn't pick on him for any of this stuff, not his blubbiness, not his man-boobs, not his inability to have a natural erection—none of that stuff—to me, off limits until! until! Mr. Limbaugh, you turn that sort of gun on somebody else—once you start doing that, you're fair game, fat boy. Absolutely, you jiggly pile of mess. You're just fair game, and you're going to get it, too.
Reagan added that Limbaugh looks like "the unholy spawn of Tony Soprano and the Michelin Man." I'm going to buy Reagan a nice bunch of asparagus the next time I see him at the Sunday Ballard Market.