Haiti is so yesterday, there must be a new cause du jour by now

Oh no our local flower shops are fucked!

Ok, this is ornery even for Sloggers. Whatever you can do counts.

@1 Haha, classic Stranger humor. Love it!

"Man and wife?" Ugh.

It is a sweet gesture, and I hate to be a jaded asshole, but I'm going to have to go with JD @#3 on this one.

Good karma is good, but there is a lack of perspective in this gesture. Almost 50% of people in the world live on less than $2.50 a day. It's kind of insulting to act like it's a big self-sacrifice for you to skip an evening of spending (which you already acknowledge is all about "phoney romance", anyway).

That said, it's better than nothing. I'd hate to discourage anyone from donating to charities.

Maybe I'm just bitter because I don't have the option of "staying home and fucking".

@ 6 beat me to it.

People respond the out-of-the-ordinary. It is human nature to easily ignore the constant suffering of others, especially when it occurs out of sight - and then react strongly to a crisis all over the TV 24/7. Because so many of us (myself included) immediately donated, this is a timely reminder that we need to give regularly. Maybe next month we can all give up getting drunk on green beer, and then in April we can forgo chocolate bunnies - what do you say, we can all live like Spartans until we've stopped all suffering!

Haiti maybe have been a flavor of the month type of 'incident' to those like "DavidC" who only lend a helping hand to be seen by others. Long after the cameras and reporters are gone there will be people left completely destitute, homeless, hungry, with missing body parts and without families to support them. But to conscious people who really want a good outcome out of this tragedy this is a long term project until lives are turn and the Haitian people take the place that they were denied long before this earthquake happened amongst the nations of the world. Reading this letter I was left with the impression that this couple are the later and not like the former. Their heart is in the right place and I want to thank them.

This is a lovely sentiment. It's our 20th Valentine's Day, but I expect we'll be donating the flowers and See's candy money to Haitian earthquake relief this year. (And yes, cynical Sloggers, we already give a healthy percentage--more than 1%--of our salaries to charity, spend time in soup kitchens each month and sit on nonprofit boards, so I guess this extra donation is "permissible" in your crabby viewpoint.)

Congrats on staying in love for 6 whole months.

Also instead of Haiti there is am Indian reservation in South Dakota with some serious issues as well. All the celebrities are pointing to Haiti, but SD needs some love as well.

screw getting a teddy bear for your sweetie this year, just contact some Idaho missionaries, bet they'll hook you up with an "orphan".

A good serious donation is to the mostly French-speaking Medicins sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders) ... they have a lot of doctors and nurses in Haiti right now and need supplies and more such volunteers.

I hate SLOG comments.

Loveschild is the only one here with a heart.

Bless you, my dear.

And I think it's a WONDERFUL idea, and I want to do it, but c'mon, it's my first Valentine's Day with my new boyfriend! Arrrggghhhh!

It's impossible to give money to every single person who needs it all the time. ANY charitable donation is good, and should be received as such - even if it is a cause du jour, even if Haiti will be forgotten by next year, and even if this dude never gives away another penny in his life. You can always say, "Yeah, but you could give more." You could give more than 1%, @3. Screw "your wealth," you could live like Mother Teresa and not have a penny to your name because you give it all away. You could not stop until you've convinced every person you know to do the same. Or, you could all stop being such fucking assholes about the nice thing this guy did and is encouraging others to do, because the little bit of good he's doing is being completely soured by all the ill-will you people are putting into the world right now. Shut the fuck up with your jaded, cynical yuppie bullshit and take good things for what they are.

@4 is right, this is a new low even for Sloggers.

"If we can do it, so can everyone else."

Uhh... ya, dude. Wonder what it'd be like to even have the chance to GET married in the first place, let alone have enough money to [even for a second] consider spending on roses, dinner, etc.

Sorry, but I'm just tired of having to hear/read what privileged folks have to "suggest" to others. Fuck, I'm too young to be this bitter...

I'm getting extra flowers this year. I really don't want to be a charitable carpetbagger. Thanks folks.

Chris @ 19,

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about things you buy, and it should not be, it is about how you feel. So find something meaningfull to do together, and contribute to Haiti. We are doing an extra donation to Mercy Corp.

And, this is what we have chosen to do for 16 years. We make each other cards, I sketch and he uses cut outs from the Sunday paper. One year we made truffles, messy fun. Antoher year s'mores by the fire with wine. One year involved snogging up on Beacon Rock in the rain and home for a hot shower.

You can have and do both. Use your lovely minds, and it will come to you.

Best wishes to you and your new guy, my Slog friend.

You're 100% right, Kim, but.........but.......but.......I LOOOOVE CHOCOLATE!!

How DARE you provide a fun new way to get people to reconsider whether they can afford to give a little more to people in need?

How DARE you?

(And striking a blow against V-Day to boot. I love it. This is the worst fucking holiday, I swear. Redirecting all the money that gets wasted on shitty stuffed animals and mylar balloons to a good cause just feels really, really right.)

And when you do get chocolate, I highly recommend some organic fair-trade chocolate like that at Theo's Chocolate.

Mind you, that's from Seattle.

Chris,

But... but ... but YOU CAN HAVE FUN MAKING THINGS WITH CHOCOLATE FOR EACH OTHER! I love chocolate, too. And, hand forming truffles is delicious, sexy, and can be done in the nude safely. Think about it, what could be better than watching someone with a beautiful ass rolling chocolates in his hands? I am hard pressed right now to imagine something better.

Will,

Dagoba from Oregon. I am sure Theo's is lovely, too.

@20: Amen.

kim in portland: Thanks for the ideas! I like the homemade cards and the s'mores.

Whatever happened to quiet, anonymous charitable giving, without the donor telling us what luxuries were sacrificed to do it and how we should all do the same?

Who the hell did you marry? SimONE?

I mean seriously ... even the "coolest" girls want some semblance of a gesture, and Mr. Happy just doesn't cut it? A box of Whitman's samplers from wallgreens with a bouquet of something? Breakfast in bed? A starbucks latte (with the heart carved into the foam that sometimes looks like something else)? A handmade card made with Sharpies and a legal pad? A duct tape wallet in the shape of a heart? A mix tape (CD) or a romantic limmerick written on a red bar napkin.

I mean, the LAST thing a girl wants to see on Valentines Day is a fully functioning penis, unless she was painfully single at the start of it and patrolling the bars, OR unless it's preceded by some material gesture of affection.

If I were you, I would cover your ass and get a card.

I don't know if the writer of this letter is reading this, but I hope you are. As I was reading the letter I though "What a great idea! I should start promoting this in Canada". When I got to the bottom I saw that you're from Toronto, and so am I! So, my idea is that I take my marketing and social media knowledge to help you promote this thing. Contact me at write.a.book.about.it(at)gmail(dot)com

Also, helping you will help me take my mind off my lonely Valentine's Day plans.

How can people possibly object to another person/couple making a personal sacrifice for the greater good? This couple is making an effort to help and sometimes a low dollar high profile donation works out fantastically.

Those of you with criticism...how much have you given to Haitai and how do you think the money donated should be spent? We would all love to hear how you would do a better job in helping these people than the job that is being done...

Seriously guys. Way to be cynical about everything. Think about how many adverts you see a day that "suggest" what to do with your money. I'd prefer this a million times over. You go, Mikey Law!

Dear Michael,
I think it is a lovely idea you got there and i wish you the best for you couple.

Theo's Chocolate = SO FREAKING GOOD. Coming back to Seattle in 2011; that shop is a must-stop.

I hate Valentine's Day whether I'm in a couple or not. It overprices eateries, makes single ppl feel shitty, puts pressure on encoupled folks & is an utter BS holiday. I'll take my dinner out & love note on the 13th or Lupercalia (the 15th), plz, or any other day not mandated by Hallmark.

Choosing to turn the money spent on that shiny foil heart drivel to charity = win.

I do think there's a point to be made about not jumping on the "cause du jour"; but I'm not sure now is the time. It's true, 95% of us are selfish bastards focusing on *gasp* paying rent, our loved ones, our jobs and just getting through the fuckin' day. So sue us ok?

That doesn't negate the fact that there is more-than-usual suffering in Haiti and yes, they will feel the impact for years to come. And what's wrong with the outpouring of support from the world? I didn't hear people saying that we should shelve our money and support after Katrina. So I guess cynicism only applies to places other than the US. Kinda sad guys.

Oh, and @21 - we (I'm also Canadian) DO have marriage equality. We fought, we won, they tried to take it back, and we fought some more. So c'mon up and see us some time... And I don't have the money to donate either, that's why I donate my time. There's more than one way to contribute. You really are too young to be this bitter.

@33 , 34 et al. : The smugness of the letter is annoying. not the donation part. LOOK AT US DOING THE RIGHT THING!

What if they donated and didn't tell everybody? You know, humility and subtlty and all....

They're saying 'hey look we're donating' to encourage other couples to do the same thing. You know, lead by example... Have you helped out at any Haiti fundraisers? Have you raised awareness in your area?

@30, 39: Point taken about smugness, but like @40 says, what if your donation, even smug, spurs other people to do the same?

Or outdo you because you're so fucking smug and we can't fucking stand your smugness so I'm going to donate the shit out of you? Yeah? Is anybody doing that here?

Even beyond that ... the people who actually benefit from his money? They're not going to give a shit about whether he announced it or did it secretly in a locked room with all the windows blacked out.

@41 -- yes yes yes , but it's not like their money is more valuable because they wrote that letter. And since we are talking about motives for giving, what does it say about someone who donates because of one-upmanship instaed of compassion?

Money is money.

and @40 --- why question if anyone else has donated? It has no bearing on irritating LOOK AT ME---I"M GOOD,RIGHT? behavior like and the Smugettes are doing.

actually, i thought the letter was OK until the last paragraph. that's when i really couldn't take the self-satisfaction anymore. here's my paraphrase:

"old people are stupid. people who have been married a long time are miserable. we're YOUNG, we're HORNY, we're IN LOVE! we are SO FUCKING GREAT! yaaaaaaaay!"

otherwise i think anything that takes away from a stupid, corporate, "buy more shit" holiday is a great thing. and giving even more money to Haiti is great too.

i suggest someone create a "No Valentine's Day for Haiti" card, where if someone donates "flower money" to Haiti, they get a card to give to their significant other that says something like

"I donated your flower money to Haiti and all you got was this stupid, fucking card"

@40 - No, actually I havn't helped out at any Haiti fundraisers, nor raised awareness about Haiti in my area.

Nor did I do anything in response to Katrina, or that hotel bombing in India (the last cause du jour I can think of that I argued about). I don't jump on whatever tragedy the media gets all flustered over, because I'm aware that there are constant tragedies going on. Every minute that I have been alive, people have been starving and suffering. But what, they're out of sight, out of mind, hey? Yes, any donation to a good cause is better than nothing - I won't argue that. But it's kind of an insult to jump up and start putting effort into helping people just because they're in the limelight. Those lives are no more important than the ones you don't hear about.

And yes, I understand what you're saying about "leading by example". But what self-importance to think that this token gesture is so noble. Look, this is where I'm coming from: Go to a village in Somalia, find a kid there, kneel down and tell him/her how, instead of buying a fancy meal, flowers and gifts on a particular day, you donated money to charity.

So no, I haven't donated to any Haiti funds. But I do donate 5% of my salary to the Red Cross (and I'm sure they've put some of that to Haiti). I don't think that's something worth writing letters about, and if anything I'm ashamed I don't donate more. I couldn't look a Somalian kid in the eye and try to tell them how I "give up" 5% of my salary to help people. Fuck, I'd be ashamed to tell them I wash my clothes in gallons of drinkable water each week.

Obviously, this is a couple who doesn't have to worry about its OWN health care. GO CANADA, GO!

@42: "yes yes yes , but it's not like their money is more valuable because they wrote that letter."

Yeah, I'm not arguing that.

"And since we are talking about motives for giving, what does it say about someone who donates because of one-upmanship instaed of compassion?"

Nothing? Why is somebody else's money better because it's out of compassion? As you say, "money is money." Are we even disagreeing here?

Let's ask a nurse or a doctor or a volunteer on the ground in Haiti if they give a crap whether the food or medical supplies they're holding was donated out of onemanship or compassion or because Valentine's Day is a commercialized sham.

@44: I'm guessing that not many starving Somalian kids read the Slog. Remember? This letter was sent to the Slog, meant to be read to fellow Sloggers.

Anyway, this is just redonkulous (yes, sorry, I actually type/say that word). I think that most people feel SOME guilt when they do something charitable, because they think they can always do more (see yourself, @44). So just stop, because this way you'll never stop feeling guilt, which really doesn't help anyone, least of all you.

I think we all agree that charity is immeasurable -- you can't judge it by the absolute amount (because then the richest would always be the "most" charitable, which isn't true) and no motive in the world makes your contribution any more helpful, in practical terms. So why are we trying to attach values here?

No, I don't think Michael deserves to be called a saint (but he's a newlywed, so give him a break). I mean, speaking of disproportionate emotions, maybe shitting all over him for one slightly fat-headed but *clearly* well-meaning letter is off the scale?

Frankly, I think his positive emotion is a lot more helpful in terms of getting people to donate. If I tried to sell charity as something that doomed you to massive guilt trips, self-flagellation, hateful judgment, and "humility" (humility that compels you to come out and publicly bad-mouth a complete stranger), the people in Haiti would be even more fucked than they already are.

Kim @ 27 - hmmmm, he DOES like to cook, and makes great desserts...and I actually CAN imagine something better. Along the same lines, but better. I'll keep it to myself, though.