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O.K., that's all I got before the urge to vomit.
Is this an uncle by blood, or an uncle by marriage?
This is the obvious answer, right?
And even if aunt and uncle did have an arrangement, the potential for major drama is just too high here. She shouldn't put family ties at risk for sexual gratification when she has so many other options.
Stay away! Vote Against! Gulp Effexor!
Hope you have a good vibrator, Z.
It sounds way too complicated and risky. I don't have any negative kneejerk reaction to incest. I don't feel a need to puke or boil my brain, so I can pretty safely say I'm not just being reactionary when I say "no, don't do it. BAD idea."
..... Fuck! - South Park
You´re a cocksucking, ass-liking, uncle fucker
You´re an uncle fucker, yes it´s true
Nobody fucks uncles just like you...
The incest taboo is only so deeply ingrained to avoid inbreeding, and if you're both sane you'll do everything to keep that from happening anyway.
I think you should definitely talk to him, he's probably thinking about it as much as you are.
Which is, I guess, a fancy-pants way of saying... Dude. There are plenty of other people who you could fuck who'd be happy to pretend to be your uncle. Don't do it.
The more I think about it though, the less I believe that story to be true. I hate to shout "troll" but...
Was he good? Does your uncle have a big juicy cock?
I'm glad I'm not attracted to any of my family members. My former teachers, on the other hand...
Now for the good news: you know exactly what to look for in a guy to make it SUPER HOT: a guy who looks like/reminds you of your uncle. Have him dress like your uncle, find out if your uncle wears any cologne/aftershave (although that shit makes me gag), call him by your uncle's name...instead crazy fucking hotness. Because after you are all sweaty and covered in jizz and spit, when you look next to you you won't be looking at YOUR FUCKING UNCLE!
ehhh they probably all already did it... still this is barely Springer material, it's kind of a bravo/hallmark movie of the week mashup.
@30: It might have been one of the few events for quite a distance, who knows.
General rule of thumb: if you're female and under 40, you can make pretty much any of your sexual fantasies come true. Try craigslist, you'll have so many "uncles" you won't know what to do with them all.
gotta go with most likely fake.
Jesus, what a bunch of dandies.
i know, with ya, dan's arrogant and conceited. what can ya do? hooray for the millions of hits that this website gets. Puke City indeed. In the state of Shit for Brains, the country is United States of Cunts, with Prez Savage leading the media boner. i am NOT proud to be an american
Give it, I dunno, a year or so. If you're still thinking of your real (by marriage or by blood) uncle as a potential partner, even after 12 months of kinky, poly, bi, and vibey adventures... well, Oscar Wilde said the only way to get rid of temptation is to give into it.
If you really want to pursue this (and to be honest, in my mind, consenting adults are consenting adults, related or not), I would suggest step 1 talk to Uncle and find out if Aunt is on board. Step 2, confirm that Aunt is on board with Aunt. I somehow doubt you will need step 3.
#8 actually points out a practical reason why you should NOT do this, no matter how game you both are, unless one of you is infertile.
Also wondering how such a fetish might have developed...
Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka
You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn,
You just fuck your uncle all day long
@47: What do you consider to be like incest? GAY BUTTSECKS? Wow! I never knew that sticking it in another guy's ass was comparable to fucking your sibling!
Seriously, Loveschild, you asinine cuntwhorebitch. Which would you prefer: that every American had a single homosexual encounter or that every American had a single incestuous encounter?
I know it would be the first one for me. The ball is in your court, Loveschild.
"In the same spirit of pretend slaves and pretend rapes, SIB, you can indulge your incest fantasies without actually committing incest. Incest is wrong, yes--just as owning slaves and raping people is wrong."
I guess Dan's advice in this case would be no, don't do it.
I'm gonna go with "pretty much what everyone else said above." Maaaaaaaaybe if your uncle were actually divorced and your own parents were dead, it might be worth contemplating. But if you did it and it came out, you'd be tossing a shit-bomb of biblical proportions into the lives of a bunch of people who never, ever asked to become even notionally aware of your sexlife.
Meanwhile, as noted above, find a guy who looks like your uncle and commence fucking him until the itch is officially scratched.
(Aside to loveschild: take your faux surprise that people with different ethics than you nonetheless have ethics and shove it up your ass sideways. Have a nice day!)
On the other hand, there are going to be lifelong consequences if you get caught. If you do get caught, you're going to be the uncle fucker til end of days. If you don't want to live with that, don't do it.
Sooooo, you still want to fuck him?
Seriously, I fucking hate people who think of every person as a potential fuck. Yeah, it's all about you getting off, right.
Don't think about complications or other people's lives that may be affected by your actions because YOU got an itch.
Nope, go right ahead. Maybe when your lack of ethics ends up making you homeless, you can find all the dick you need.
However, Z, I think we all know you're not planning to get knocked up if you fool around with your uncle. What it comes down to, then, is a risk-reward analysis, in which you consider what actual harm could come of it and weigh that against your sexual gratification.
In this case I feel I have to come down against. Your uncle might be a good resource to talk about this stuff with; you might have found a friend in the family who understand. But fucking him? You say you're pretty sure he had an affair. How did you find that out?
No, seriously, how did you find that out?
I want you to think about that long and hard. I guarantee that whatever information channels leaked rumors of his affair to you are still going to operate just as smoothly if it's YOU he starts fucking instead of some other woman. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to accept the fallout that would come from your family discovering this if you did it, because given that we already know he can't successfully hide an external affair, what are the chances the two of you can hide an internal affair?
Whether something is right or wrong can only be measured by the harm it does to people, but I think in this case the chance of real harm is too high for you to go for it. Sorry. Maybe you can talk about it with your uncle and you can both masturbate to the idea, but realizing the fantasy is just not a good plan.
Some people just have no sense.
Let's put it this way... if they were estranged family members who didn't know about their relations and met, fucked, etc... no one would give a shit. The moment they know about a social construct between them suddenly they have to care because society says so? Can you imagine where society would be now if we were always so caring about societies rules when it came to inter-racial or LGBT relationships? We may still have a culture that prohibits people of different social-class from getting together.
This isn't to say there isn't non-title based concerns to think about. It would be the same if your social group had rules about dating people's ex's and you wanted to. Those issues are real and brought on because of your social tie. Think about that all you want... the uncle/niece thing is inconsequential beyond that.
If you're out there I have to say NO. You did not say if this individual was your uncle by genetics or marriage, and one could argue that makes a difference. Still, my advice is find someone else to "play" with, this sounds like a family tragedy waiting to happen.
I am going to return to boiling my brain now. The thought of being with any of my genetic uncles, of course one passed away from lung cancer, really freaks me out. The thought of being with one of my uncles via marriage also freaks me out. Freaks. Me. Out.
There's actually a pretty strong taboo against incest more or less universally in human cultures, and like I said it's for sound genetic reasons. Too much chance of producing offspring that are homozygous for dangerous recessive traits. Incest only occurs routinely when a particular culture, or part of a culture, becomes so abstracted that a more powerful drive even than instinctive revulsion can overpower it. That instinct is why so many people who are generally sex-positive and rational - Dan, for instance - have just bowed out of this one with a loud "ICK." Instinct is deeper than rational thought.
But like I said, no kids, no foul, basically. If no one is harmed - I mean really, honestly, if you can pursue all the consequences of an action to their logical conclusions and there's no harm - it's not wrong per se. The Loveschilds of the world believe there's some external force dictating an absolute morality on us that is completely uncorrelated with harm, but you don't sound much like you're in that camp.
Incidentally, I think maybe you need to read some Heinlein. It seems like you'd like it. I don't mean that as an insult, either; Heinlein kind of turned into a creepy old man later in his life but even so some of his ideas were pretty rational and pretty far ahead of their time. It's also good sci-fi so it's a pleasure to read even if you don't necessarily agree with the notion of an immortal man traveling back in time to fuck his own mother, or fucking twin female clones of himself.
That said, the anti-incest instinct prevents me from doing any more than shaking his hand whenever we meet. He's fun to think about while masturbating once in a while, but I can't even imagine the revulsion I'd feel were something to ever really happen, not to mention the family strife caused were someone to find out. The risks waaaaay outweigh the rewards on this one, I'm afraid.
The most interesting moments in life tend to arise from the most bizarre and dramatic instances anyway... this is a long-term interesting moment in the making.
Urqutha's post should contain the following disclaimer "Readers should note the the advice contained in this communication was formulated in Tallahassee, FL".
Yes, I know, I live in Australia. Where female emissions are urine and small boobs peodophilic objects. But at least it's not Tallahassee...
/boils brain in bleach.
/boils laptop in bleach, just to be safe.
Role-play. Or something. Don't fuck your uncle. (Unless you like really fucked up Thanksgiving Dinners, then go for it).
Finding a doppelganger for your uncle willing to RP, on the other hand? Sure. That's my advice.
This doesn't really skeeve me out at all. I have an uncle who's only 15 years older than me, and I had fantasies about him when I was younger (never acted on).
I'll assume that if you did this, you'd simultaneously use six different kinds of birth control so you don't end up with a retarded baby with 3 arms.
Still, as a practical matter, step back for a moment. The chances of this getting out are probably 50/50 over the long term. You'll get caught, or he'll say something, you'll say something, one of your party friends will say something, a jilted ex will say something... whatever. If you get found out, just what kind of family drama will ensue? I'm guessing it would be spectacular, and not in a good way.
Probably safer all around to find some stand-in for your uncle fantasy.
Yup, I'm in Tallahassee... a shithole among shitholes, no argument. But I didn't originate there... I'm only there because of a job.
That said, even if I were still living in my hometown of Minneapolis, MN, I'd still say go for it.
Life already has plenty of things for people to feel shame and anguish about. This is prime material for that... so I say, do it and feel the opposite. Do something that others would feel absolutely dirty and filthy about. Do it because you'll never have another chance in this one and only life you have on earth to ever do anything like it again. When it's all consenting adults, and everyone knows the details, then go for it, sickness be damned! Go for it!
It's more like, it makes absolutely no logical sense to me why she would do this. So, let's say this is her ultimate fantasy -- big reward but huge risk. Couldn't she just get, like, 90% of the way there with a faux-uncle? With almost none of the risk?
Cognitive behavioral therapy?
Having said that, I think there's alot of wisdom here as well. Whether your family will find out is one thing you'd want to think seriously about; but you two will have to live with what happened in your own conscience, which may or may not be okay with this, particularly after the fact.
You okay keeping this episode to yourself for the rest of your life, given that most people will react with ick? Is your uncle going to not blab on his death bed when he 'faces his maker'? I don't know, only you can judge. Don't let any of us talk you into anything.
Just teasing about Tallahassee by the way. Can't be all bad with folks like you there. Plus my brother used to live there. :)
Attention all straight dudes, old or young, related or not, stay the heck away from bi-femmes!
Because they are bi-polar...one day they're cool and girly and like the best blend of friendship and sex, and then the next day they go into their "boy mode" and they want to compete with you and beat you in wrestling.
So, unless you like "changing the channels" every couple of hours...don't bother!
Basing your gross generalizations on one girl, I'm guessing?
The stars will never be more aligned. Do it or forever regret missing the perfect opportunity.
(With that said, I'm also not buying the story that he lives six hours away but they just happened to meet at a munch.)
On the other hand, I do not think this is a real letter, too much details and too much perfectness, but how on earth your real uncle came to that BDSM club when he is leaving 6 hours apart...he drove 12 hours ... that is too much...(even flying ) even unreal.
--Sounds like a fake letter, overall.
--If it is real, there's a strong chance that Z and/or the uncle would chicken out if they attempted to really do anything. At this point, even with the option of realization, the fantasy is still a fantasy and they may well feel very differently when they attempt to do the deed for real. Instinct is a powerful thing.
--I would advise against doing it, if the letter is real, for the family's sake. Less than this causes estranged relatives and a general breakdown of familial bonds. Unless you're already pretty estranged from the rest of your family, you don't want to risk that.
--Dan, fucking grow a pair. You're a sex advise columnist, and you can't bring yourself to deal with sex questions if they've got some ick factor going on? You knew the right answer for this person, and it's not like any of us could answer this without pictures of our uncles flashing in our heads. Honestly, you lobbing this one over to the peanut gallery (when really, it's these sort of "out there" and icky questions you're MOST needed for) is pretty disappointing.
I have to contradict everyone getting all freaked about babies. Yes, having a kid with your uncle is probably not a good idea for societal/familial issues, but the kids won't be deformed or demented. Many cultures allow first cousin marriage, and they're just fine. Inbreeding problems usually manifest a couple generations after brother-sister nookie. It's not a good idea, but insemination-by-uncle will NOT leave you with some creature from the black lagoon.
To more directly address your question though, this is a clear cut case of fantasy not needing to become a reality. Not for social or biological reasons but the potential of letting your family know far too much about your sex life is simply too likely. I don't know about you, but I can't SNEEZE in my family without someone finding out eventually.
The Aunt may be just fine with him finding something on the side, but I doubt she's expecting to ever meet the something, let alone having to sit across the Christmas Dinner table from her. Somehow, I think she'll find the distinction an important one.
And one final thought, forget about the Aunt. Imagine sitting in your mother's kitchen trying to explain to her why it was essential that you sleep with her sister's husband (don't know why, but that's the vibe I'm getting from your letter). Dan likes to say that parents have the right not to know some things about their kids. This is one of those times, and I simply don't know how you'll keep this secret for the next 30 - 40 years if you act on it.
Unless this was the ONLY way you could get off, I just don't see the reward outweighting the risk on this one. But by all means, find a surogate and fuck him until your eyes cross! :)
Stick with the role play.
I too enjoy fantasizing about the "incest taboo", because...well, forbidden things are hot, and because the power disparity in such a scenario is so obvious, and I like that. But I don't think I'd ever be tempted to indulge with a relative, for the reasons I listed above.