I'm gay. I'm a teenager. I like men and many would assume I want to go with other gay guys. My problem is that im not attracted to the personality that most gay guys have—not at all. I like straight guys pretty much, so I consider myself "screwed" in terms of sex. I have cried myself to sleep because of this countless times. What should I do? I have tried so hard to be attracted to guys who are possibly gay but I just can't like that personality. Is there any way I can change myself? Or get a straight guy? I know this question sounds awkward and stupid but I really need help on this one, what should i do?
Helpless Gay Guy
My response after the jump...
I want to turn this one over to the commenters here on Slog, many of whom are gay, but first...
When you feel like crying, HGG, just remind yourself that most out gay teenagers—most of your out gay peers—are out because they can't be in, i.e. they're too stereotypically gay and/or effeminate to pass for straight. This phenomenon can lead gay teenagers, closeted or not, to assume that all adult gay men have to be stereotypically gay and/or effeminate because all the gay boys they've met are. Now lots of adult gay men are, without a doubt, stereotypically gay and/or effeminate, HGG, and there's absolutely nothing wrong that. There's nothing wrong with guys who are swishy or interested in fashion or musicals or divas or whatever, and there's nothing wrong with guys who find stereotypically gay and/or effeminate guys attractive. (Ahem.) But there are plenty of "straight-acting"—ugh to that term—gay guys out there, HGG, guys whose "personalities" you'll find attractive, but you're not going to meet many at your high school or in your gay youth group. So just hang in there, kiddo, okay?
Remind yourself of that constantly, HGG, because you don't want to accidentally convince yourself that homosexuality in men is an unattractive/stereotypically-gay personality trait. Do that and you will be alone all your life.
Okay, Slog fags, got any advice/moral support for this kid?
