On March 18, Seattle police officers investigated a clumsy-flirtation-turned-alleged-assault concerning two employees at an 88 Keys Dueling Piano and Sports Bar.

According to the police report, the previous evening an employee stopped by the 88 Keys Dueling Piano and Sports Bar to pick up her paycheck. While she was waiting at the bar, the general manager came up behind her and allegedly wrapped his right arm around her neck. The woman elbowed the manager in his stomach, asking, “What do you think you’re doing?” He responded by putting his left hand on her head and allegedly lifting her off the ground by her head and neck. The victim stated that the entire bar saw the incident because her supervisor commented over the sound system, “Now there’s love.”

The police report fails to note what music was dueling on the pianos at the time.

The following day, the victim and general manager exchanged dueling text messages, in which the victim was “questioning his motives for picking her up by the neck.” His alleged response was, “If you think I was trying to flirt with you, you’re wrong.”

In the police report, the victim describes her coworker as “a [white male] approximately 300 pounds with a silly mohawk and being a hillbilly. She elaborated that he drives a red Ford Taurus and probably lives at the bar.”