I totally want to send that guy a Teddy Ruxpin doll.
What the hell is it with you people and your goddamn dogs? BLEARRRRRGGGHHHHH. Wildly inappropriate. This is frankly worse than if he whipped it out and started jacking himself off at the dinner party. Never again. Quit your job.
Well, that teddy bear probably provoked that dog somehow.
Well, he sure fucked up training his dog.

And neutered, just like... oh, wait.
If you want to train your dog to fuck a teddy bear every night after dinner, that's your business. It's odd, but not illegal, and doesn't really enter any dubious ethical territory. But to do it in front of one's dinner guests is flatly uncouth.
That guy gets off on it, and by forcing his employee to watch, he involved her in his sexual behavior/fetish, which is a form of sexual harassment. Not that I would make a case out of it, but I sure as hell would find another job.

I love the dogs in my life, but please! I don't ask them to help me masturbate, and I sure as hell wouldn't help them either.
My mom breeds affenpinchers, and part of that involves shipping dog spunk around the country. She takes him to the vet for the procedure.

That's right, there are people that are paid to jack off dogs. I wonder if they get good at it. Do they develop their own technique? A special flourish to the polishing of the red rocket?

Anyway, this sort of thing is best done in private, if absolutely necessary.
This is why workplace protocol exists. It's well and good to work in an open, close-knit, "friends AND co-workers" environment until you hit someone's limit. And then if you say something, you run the risk of being the bitch.
I cannot even begin to think of an adequately onomatopoeic expression to type in to register my skeeved-out-ness in comtemplating this scenario. So I'll just go with the old Mad Maganzine standby: BLLECCCHHH!
That is just all sorts of creepy. It's not fair to those around you if you're going to do something like that.

And uh, I don't have a dog, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't require its assistance to get off. I doubt a dog really needs help that badly. But then again, who knows :/

@6 - I totally disagree. This gets into Dan's post on zoophilia from earlier. Your dog is not there to be trained to do anything you want it to. Having a companion, fine, having a slave, not fine. If dogs normally fucked teddybears every night, fine. But it's not normal. No wolf does that, no fox, no coyote, and not very many domestic dogs do it.

[Alert: slippery slope toward the ethics of dog breeding on the horizon...]
So, in other words, the guy trained his dog to fuck a teddy bear and likes to show it off. That's the real truth here. If the dog couldn't fuck the bear without the guys help then the dog clearly did not initiate this. The dog now thinks of this as part of the after dinner routine. He can train the dog out of it (though at this point it will be very hard (insert dog boner joke here)) or he can keep doing it every night but to do it in front of guests and presumably his kids is all sorts of fucked up.

Just don't eat the eclairs for dessert.
I call bullshit.

Although I'm dubious, I suppose you could make some argument that this doesn't harm the dog. The dog, after all, appears to like it.

But to do it in front of his kids and dinner guests (who are also employees!), is all kinds of fucked up. This asshole needs to have his fucking head examined.
I wonder if the bear was cute?
You know, our dog was neutered at a normal age, and he still tries to hump this one teddy bear regularly (he's perfectly capable of holding onto it himself - I don't know what is wrong with this boss's dog that it needs assistance). But it's not hard to take the teddy bear away when he tries to get skeevy with it, or to put it completely out of sight when guests come over so there's no risk of awkward dog-humping scenes. If the dog whines, he gets reprimanded. If the whining continues, he gets shut away in his kennel. It shouldn't be that difficult to constrain your dog's behavior.
@13.. "If dogs normally fucked teddybears every night, fine. But it's not normal. No wolf does that, no fox, no coyote, and not very many domestic dogs do it."

How many wolves, foxes, or coyotes naturally do search and rescue, guide work, etc. In return for safety and food and love, your dog agrees to do the things you train it to do. Sit, Stay, shake a paw, fetch, and in this case, fuck. The last one is weird and wrong (whether in front of kids and guests or not) in my opinion, but it is his dog, kids, and dinner guests. You could argue his kids shouldn't be exposed to slightly twisted behaviour, but hey, there are lots of kids exposed to worse things. As long as he puts as much effort into training his dog not to be an idiot in ways that affect other people, then what he wants to do after dinner is between them. I wouldnt likely accept a second dinner invitation, though...
Go to his dinner party and when doggie pleasure time comes up offer to blow the dog. If he takes you up on it, do it!
Hotdoll is apparently a French product. Maybe it has something to do with all the dogs in restaurants there?
A three-year-old is NOT a puppy. And I'm betting it's a golden retriever, or some kind of lab. They like their woobies.
It must be wrong, the teddy bear can't consent!!!
Seriously, no matter how close-knit my coworkers and boss are, I hope to god I never hear about any mix species sexual activity.... sometimes, even among friends, there can be TMI.
I take it the dog's first name is Mick?
@15 FTW. This guy just likes showing off his dog's trick and making other people uncomfortable. What a dick.

That's assuming the letter is real, which I'm skeptical about.
I'd like to see Victoria Stillwell handle THIS case!
oh man... my family has a sainted (i.e. dead and beloved) dog named Jagger. FAIL!
Agree with #20. We have a female dog that gets off nightly on her bed cushion. No problem for her to hold it herself. When she occasionally wants to get off on the sofa pillow-she gets reprimanded. And she is not allowed to hump in front of guests. Its not hard to control. Masturbating in dogs is not uncommon. But just like masturbating in humans, it can be done very privately. Wrongo to the boss for getting his dog off in front of guests-and kudos to Dan for some kickass advice again.
DANG! The Boss's wife and kids put up with this shit? What the hell is going on in that house?
If this happened to me while I was a guest in my boss' home, I'd leave. If he had a problem with it, I'd threaten a sexual harrassment lawsuit.
I learned a long time ago that you can't, and shouldn't, get chummy with management. Always causes problems.
@8 Affenpinscher = monkey snipper. Seriously, WTF? Y'all and all your hyper-specialized retarded wolf variants. Who on earth would lead a monkey snipper around on a leash in public?
Hoax letter.
The boss better hope and pray the Teddy Bear Liberation Front doesn't find out about this. These cats just don't fuck around. TBLF activists are known to baseball bat peeps in the knees and put nails in their eyes.
My boss spoils her dog by throwing the darn pup a birthday party! (And obedience training. I swear that dog has better manners than most children.)

It is not okay to do something like that in front of guests. The boss could easily have taken the dog aside to "give him his medicine" or "tuck him in" or some other euphemism. The old "in private and wash your hands after" rule of thumb can be applied here, but it goes triple for dogs.
I can't think of any dog that would ever need help masturbating except a paralyzed one. This guy just gets off on seeing people's reactions. The human needs to be trained in this case--that his entertainment is uninteresting or inappropriate.

On another note, dogs do masturbate, both males and females, but dogs also hump other dogs in dominance displays. That's why its not considered good sense to allow a dog to hump you--it may be sexual, but very often the dogs is trying to show that he or she controls you. The human should hold the upper hand, not the dog. The pup needs to be neutered when he's reached 5 or 6 months (he's not sexually mature at 3 months), but if he humps humans it needs to be discouraged, especially if he starts exhibiting other signs of pushing dominance.
ok, so the person who says it is not normal for dogs to hump teddy bears because wolves don't is just not paying attention. Dogs will hump anything that they want, if not told no. My pug, an unfixed male, had a monogamous relationship with a stuffed grey mouse since he was about twelve weeks old...that is until the poor thing died, and then he mourned, and I felt sorry for him after three months of no action, so I bought him a large grey stuffed elephant. Nothing for a few more months, and then suddenly he was going to town on this new stuffed animal, which he is now monogamous with. It happens. He sometimes thought it was a good "pack" move to show off his moves for any company that came to the house and we always took it away and locked it in the closet.
Unless this sick guy has a teacup chihuahua that has a thing for a very large toy....he is doing it for himself.
Well, I've looked through all of the etiquette books in my library, and none of them mention how to react if the host of the party decides to publicly masturbate a house pet after dinner. Weird - you would think Emily Post would've put that in chapter one!

I have to agree that the boss needs to stop doing this, or at least stop doing this in front of friends and family.
wow, that was a fun day dedicated to animal-fuckers... makes me wish for the good ol' days when everything kooky was all about the pony-playing centaur fetishists...
#40, my fixed pug has been monogamous with a stuffed koala bear for 9 years (the breeder sent it home with him). He doesn't need any help with his, either.

He tried it on the cat. ONCE.
Neuter the fucking dog. My cat used to be like this: he would hump anything, and more than once I woke up because he was humping me. Now he's neutered and seems pretty content. I doubt it was a very enjoyable life when he was constantly aroused and you couldn't even pet him.
As a dog trainer, I'm actually beyond appalled by this, but whatever.

Once, back in the 1970s, my father and his cousin took their hound dog (a champion hunting dog they wanted to put up for stud) to the vet. They asked casually about getting a sperm count. The vet - an upperclass Southern gentleman transplanted to Northern climes - said that was possible, and right there in front of them jacked the dog off. Pop and his cousin were never squeamish men, but he says that at that point they were left speechless and casting about for small talk. In retrospect, he finds the story hysterical.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Eww eww eww eww eww. EWW.

Okay, I'm done. I think. But yeah, this manager has some SERIOUS boundary issues. "Just hang on a sec while I get my dog off" is NOT appropriate cocktail chatter.
Uhhh unless by "friends and coworkers" she means "regular participants in office orgies," I'm of the opinion that ALL masturbatory action should be kept private from each other, whether self, others, or family pet in nature.

And somehow, even though I'm not particularly disturbed by zoophilia in general, somehow a dude jacking his dog off with a teddy bear squicks the hell out of me. The dinner party audience is like whipped cream and a cherry on the squick sundae.
I think that this girl should be extra careful around her boss. She should avoid being alone with him and keep the conversation strictly professional. She should watch out for any other boundaries he crosses. That doesn't mean be rude or call HR just yet, but at least be aware that this guy could be a problem.

I'm not sure what his motivations are with the dog- it sounds like he might just be clueless and have boundaries issues. It's entirely possible that he is a harmless wierdo. But I wouldn't worry as much about the dog as I would about the 22 year old underling.

I've dealt with guys in the workplace who have boundaries issues and when I was 22 and naive I didn't know what the warning signs were. I've never dealt with anything as bizarre as that, but what I am trying to say is that it always starts off with something like that with those guys. They start crossing your boundaries in ways that you can't report or comment on and then they start crossing bigger boundaries.

Keep him in line early on before he can start pushing you around. Don't discuss things of a personal nature with him- boyfriends, dates, girl's nights out, etc. Don't give him anything he can use to parlay things into a sexual conversation. You can be polite and professional, but that's as far as it goes. Under no circumstances should you be overly friendly this POS, because I can almost garantee he will take it the wrong way.

A guy like that is going to keep pushing the boundaries further and further until you are being sexually harassed. In fact, I would take his behavior as sexual harassment until proven otherwise. He should know better. He should have known it would make people uncomfortable- whether it is or isn't animal abuse I'm not sure, because he doesn't actually have physical contact with the dog. But what he did was to be sexual in a round about way in front of you and make you uncomfortable. The fact that he used his dog to do it is really f**ked up.

Don't take it lightly, because you just never know. Especially as a 22 year old who doesn't have the advantage of years of dealing with guys like that. As a young, naive girl, she's going to give him the benefit of the doubt, because that is what I would have done at 22 also. Take it from a 33 year old who has been around the block and back- Watch out for this guy, because he might not be as harmless as he appears.
Oh man, this is the best thread EVER. I love all of you.
@38 the monkey snipper doesn't look any less like a wolf than many other retarded wolf variants: Yorkies, Poodles, Pekes, and dachshunds.
sorry i'm late to the party, but i couldn't pass this up.

That bitch hotdoll costs $200.67. Having the dog neutered is less than half that...

Just sayin'...

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