Comments

1
Sewer squirrel would be more accurate.
2
and pigeons can be sidewalk swans.
3
Can we call midgets carpet people?
4
I <3 you, Cienna Madrid.
5
Oh, Cienna. Yeast infections and rat infestations? The anecdote you chose for your parody fills me with joy.
6
("carpetsquirrels"...) too many syllables.

"rats" is so mellifluous that charlie-brown uses it as a swear word
7
Yeast infections can be carpet mushrooms.
8
Nope. Squirrels are tree-rats.
9
I like rats, and I even like pigeons. Its their city, too.
10
Uh-oh. Keep this up and you're going to have to find something creative to call the roaches.
11
@ 10 ) Pam and Dan?
12
No no no! Please, leave the English language alone. It's enough that people insist on saying phrases like "totes my goats", can't we leave the proper names for animals alone?
13
I know people that refer to their cockroaches as "waterbugs." I don't know where this came from, and it isn't helpful.
14
No.
15
And torture can be enhanced interrogation techniques!
16
Carpet squirrels sound dirty, but in a sexual way. And @13, Waterbugs and Cockroaches are both different types of roaches, so the differentiation isn't entirely newspeak.
17
Ha!
18
More like taco truck squirrels. Just sayin'.

@10 - Fluffy and Jitters?
19
Most rats in houses are cleaner than most squirrels in houses.

Let's compromise and call them hamsters.

Little hamsters, big adventures!
20
Let's change "infests" to "enlivens." Hence: "Carpet squirrels enliven our community."
21
homeless people = independent spirits
junkies = thrill-cravers

22
The last thing any language needs is any modification just to make unpleasant things sound a little less so.
Some examples:
Sarah Palins baby is retarded!
The bombing raid in Iraq resulted in civilian casualties!
23
I like 'toy capybaras' for rats and 'sky quail' for pigeons. we have a problem with deer overpopulation, they could be called 'long-legged disney rats.'
24
Eh, we hate you all too.
25
@16-you know, I didn't actually know people called cockroaches that (I only knew of the bitey ones that live in the water), but a quick Google search and their you go. It came from someone I grew up with in Seattle that has since moved to Brooklyn. I thought he was just glossing things over.
26
As long as we can also start using the term 'arcology' as well, I'm in
27
"homeless people = independent spirits"

No, no
homeless people = urban outdoorsman
28
I like Rats.

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