Hey, I know all you Slog Sports fans must've been anxiously anticipating this weekend's visit of the Mariners to Chicago. Why, that's where Chicago Fan lives! Maybe he'll go to Comiskullar Park or whatever they call that dump on the South Side and heckle Milton Bradley live and in person, and get his ass kicked!

But no. I cannot make any of the games—date night, papers to grade, a funeral service and tickets to End Game at Steppenwolf will be consuming my weekend. But I will endeavor, on Sunday night, to provide a wrap-up of the series, which the Mariners should dominate as the White Sox are stinking up the American League almost as bad as the Cubs are stinking up the National League. (When the Mariners return in July, I'll be at at least two games, and probably bringing a group from my Baseball in American Narrative summer school course to one of them—any Chicago area Slog readers are invited to join that outing.)

Meanwhile, Milton Bradley is apparently not much of a housekeeper. He's being sued by his Gold Coast landlord for unpaid rent and damages. The details:

The suit contended he left red paint on white silk draperies, water rings and wine stains on an ebony zebra wood credenza, food and juice stains on a silk velvet ottoman, and a five-foot coffee splattering on the master bedroom carpet.

Let's just hope that was a five foot coffee splatter, and not some other brown liquid.