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Doug Benson, Burbank, c. 2005
He was in first class on my flight to Seattle. It was some ridiculous hour like 5:30 am. Coincidentally, I had just seen him perform about six hours earlier. "Hey!" I said, as I passed through the aisle. "Your set was great last night!" "What?" he said. "I saw you last night. At M Bar. Isn't that weird?" "What?" he said. Then he went back to sleep. Later I sent him a MySpace message that said, "Sorry I woke you up." He wrote back, "That's okay! You weren't annoying at all!" Sarcasm hurts.

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Jon Lovitz, LAX, c. 2006
Talking on a cell phone. Grumpy. Orange.

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Joel Schumacher, O'Hare, c. 2004
Watch The Number 23 and tell me Joel Schumacher is not a comedian.