First the good news: The Woodland Park Zoo meerkats need names! If you love meerkats and want to help name 'em, click here.

Now for the nitty: At 2:30 a.m. on May 23, three 14-year-old boys were caught trying to have a late-night good time inside a school on the 4700 block of 32nd Avenue South, which appears to be Zion Preparatory Academy, when they set off the burglar alarm. According to Rainier Valley Post's retelling of the police report, police discovered the boys had "stockpiled a substantial quantity of beer and wine in a locker there, apparently anticipating it’s consumption." Dudes! Why are you trying to party at school?! Don't you already spend enough of your time there?

And here's some gritty: Somali residents don't feel safe in Seattle. The High Point woman who was attacked and repeatedly stabbed in front of her nine-year-old daughter united with a group of 30 other Somalis to tell Seattle Housing Authority leaders as much on Friday, May 28. She was joined by the mother of the 16-year-old Somali boy who was beaten on April 29. West Seattle Blog reports that Somali children come directly home from school, lock the doors and refuse to go outside because they fear gangs who want to do them harm, and an allegation was made that African-Americans and Samoans are “targeting” Somali youth.

Meanwhile, according to recently released numbers, overall crime is down in Seattle. Central District News reports that robberies are down 44 percent and assaults are down 19 percent in the city, while auto thefts are up a whopping 51 percent. Speaking of auto theft, an apparently desperate parent on a motorbike smashed the window of a minivan in the Phinney Ridge neighborhood about 5:15 this morning near 1st Avenue North and NW 73rd Street, taking only a black bag containing diapers and a change of clothes meant for an 11-month-old child.

Condolences to the saggy-bottomed kid. If only everyone's greatest concern could be what to name a meerkat.