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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
And not before.
But let's be nice, shall we?
I'd recommend being in control of your faculties as well. And, always protect yourself and your partner.
Of course, I was quite lucky and the guy I chose was great. He said we would only go as far as I wanted, and he stuck to that admirably. If there was a 'perfect' experience, I'd say I got close.
So choose your partner wisely. You don't have to let them know you're a virgin, but it's not a bad idea. Make sure you like the way they smell- for some reason people overlook this fact, but if I can't stand the other person's musk, I'm not gonna want them to get all sweaty over me.
Good luck!
1.) That I should do it for ME, for my pleasure, and not to please him or make him love me.
2.) That any guy who won't cheerfully use a condom isn't worth the time of day, let alone all I (or you!) have to offer.
3.) And that when I agree to get close to someone, physically or emotionally, I'm giving him something fabulous and valuable, and that he sure as heck should act appreciative.
4.) And be safe. Not just with condoms, but with your physical self. Listen to your gut---if someone creeps you out, just get out of there. Don't let ANYONE talk you out of that feeling. Sometimes your feelings will be smarter than your head.
5.) And don't overlook guys in the "friend zone." My first partner was a long-time friend, and I still remember those nights we spent together fondly. We were inexperienced as hell, but we had so much fun with each other.
You'll be fine, YAN. Don't rush it, not one minute of it.
My point is after this long winded story, is to remember it will not be perfect and magical at first. It's still great though.
Now is the time to find out how much your daughter knows about how the organs function, STIs, healthy and unhealthy relationships, and birth control options. When you find out how much she does and does not know, fill in the gaps of her education. Make sure she knows you won't freak out if she comes to you with a question about any of it (and make sure you don't actually freak out when she does come to you). Get her some books about the above subjects and stick 'em in her room, too. Oh, and you might want to find a gynecologist or a doctor that specializes in adolescent medicine, she may have out grown her pediatrician.
p.p.s. Look into getting her vac'd with Gardasil.
It's likely that the young man in question (assuming your partner is a boy) will come very quickly and be very clumsy during his first attempts at penetrative sex. Do yourself a favor and ensure that your first partner does it right.
2-Make sure he's not sneaking pictures that can be used against you later.
3-Be sober so you can be sure it's something you want to do, not some hazy fog that clouded your better judgement.
4-If he's not too experienced himself, give him some guidance about your body. There's a myth that guys "know what to do", but young guys don't. You have a mouth, you can use it for more than a BJ.
5-Don't expect miracles and fireworks, but give positive reinforcement so your partner learns what you're enjoying for future reference.
6-Hopefully, you're close enough to this guy that you both can laugh at whatever awkwardness occurs pre- or post- (maybe during, but some people find that impedes their performance.)
2-Make sure he's not sneaking pictures that can be used against you later.
3-Be sober so you can be sure it's something you want to do, not some hazy fog that clouded your better judgement.
4-If he's not too experienced himself, give him some guidance about your body. There's a myth that guys "know what to do", but young guys don't. You have a mouth, you can use it for more than a BJ.
5-Don't expect miracles and fireworks, but give positive reinforcement so your partner learns what you're enjoying for future reference.
6-Hopefully, you're close enough to this guy that you both can laugh at whatever awkwardness occurs pre- or post- (maybe during, but some people find that impedes their performance.)
Make sure you have friends you can talk to honestly who will help you sort things out, and who will support you through any fallout. Do not plan on relying completely on your partner, because things might get weird with him/her for a while.
In my experience, the best sexual relationships start with a lot of experimentation and laughter. If your partner is someone you can be playful with you're off to a good start.
Here's the thing, though: once you do have sex, you don't have to *keep* having sex, if you decide you aren't ready after all. You are allowed to stop mid-act, even, or decide to wait another 4 years before you do it again, or whatever. Just remember that your body 100% belongs to you and you can do whatever you want with it, whenever you want. It's not a permanent decision: "Now I am someone who has sex." You can change your mind whenever you want.
But for the sake of all that is good and happy in your life, DO go to Planned Parenthood and arm yourself with information and protection BEFORE you make your decision!
@14 - a lot of that has to do with feeling comfortable - it's all going to be strange at first, so the main thing she should do is try to be with someone she trusts, use a condom, has a nice red towel she can wash, and relaxes (hah!) beforehand. Her partner should just not be in a rush and give her a footrub and/or backrub before.
I second that. I forgot to mention that I was 19 when I lost it, even though I had had plenty of opportunities before then.
But I felt liberated from the virgin-status, and hadn't expected anything much better from a first encounter, so I was satisfied.
It's a beginning, not an ending.
Now, millions of years later--I'm 47--I guess I could wish that it came about in the context of a wonderful first-love relationship between two equally scared, mutually supportive young lovers. But I really don't care. I was ready because my virginity had come to feel--at the old age of 18--burdensome to me. I wanted to not obsess about it anymore.
It took years and several more partner for me to find someone with skill.
But I ended up having had some incredible experiences, so what worked for me, worked.
I guess that's my point: there's no one perfect time; there's no one perfect partner; there's no one perfect way.
All that said, I have a 15-year-old daughter now, and I'd like it if her first time happened in the context of an actual relationship--and a few years from now.
I wish I had done it with somebody older because there's nothing like trying to figure out gay sex with fat cocks and no lube and no experience except Porno stories and pictures.
YAN, gather info before you start.
For YAN: here's some thoughts from someone in your camp (female, virgin) don't be afraid to wait. Sex can seem like this big huge thing, but it's not ALL there is to life. Get out there and live and find things that interest you and pursue them—and if you get laid on the way, well, yahtzee! But don't stress if it doesn't happen: I'm 22, and I've abstained from sex not out of any fear or religious crap, but simply because I've had other things to do and I haven't met anyone worth it yet. But you know what I DO do (and you should do this too): masturbate. Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate. Experiment, play with yourself, get sex toys, have fun—as I seem to recall someone much more learned and experienced than I saying: the only sex partner you're going to have for your whole life is yourself, so get good at it.
Oh, and have fun, whatever you do.
I hear you. Our baby girl turned 15 in late May. It is such an honour to watch them mature, but it's bittersweet as well. We've got to let them grow up.
Anyway, your comments made me smile. I love a dad who's a sucker for his kids. It gives me hope for the future.
Best wishes.
I lost my virginity at 19, after a few failed attempts prior to that. However, I truly didn't get what the big deal was about intercourse (for women anyway) until I was about 22. The reason is that at 19 and the other failed times, my body was not ready and I simply didn't know it -- and so I didn't really enjoy it. Women get a feeling of really wanting to be penetrated (and btw fingers work just as well, if not better, than penises) and until you really experience this, you won't know what it feels like. (So if you don't feel like that, don't have intercourse.) Also, if you're not very wet, penetration can be quite painful. You can also start wet and then get less wet, so add spit or lube or whatever you need as you go along.
You DON'T have to keep going until he comes if you don't want to. (Something that might surprise you: intercourse can be boring.) If you lose interest, tell him and stop. You might want to again later, might not. Your guy should respect your wishes here, and nice guys will. He can always masturbate or you can do other things to get him off if you both want to.
People keep saying here that you should have an orgasm first. For me, anyway, once I have an orgasm I lose all interest in sex, and the muscle contractions make it actually painful to have intercourse after I have an orgasm. I personally dislike having intercourse after I have an orgasm. You may feel differently. All women are different and there are no rules.
Finally -- some of the best and sexist times of my life were the long makeout sessions I had as a teenager & in my early 20s. Once you have intercourse you may think you always have to have intercourse. I am here to tell you that intercourse is just one of many things to do, and is NOT the "goal" or "point" of sex. Making out can be a LOT more fun than fucking. In fact, as I look back now (I'm in my 40s) I'd say that making out has been more fun at least 70% of the time. Seriously.
Because I cared about the man I had fucked. That I think is the most important. No, you don't have to love him, but I think caring and respect are two essential things in a first-time sexual experience. And of course, safety and trust go hand-in-hand with that.
My advice for your first time: USE LOTS OF LUBE. LOTS. You will be nervous. If the kid you decide to let "deflower" you is inexperienced like mine was, he won't really know what to do for you. Which I think is fine AT 15. It's ok to use lube. It's not dirty, it doesn't mean that you are doing perverted sex acts, it just means that a little help never hurts!
Last but not least: USE A CONDOM, GO TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THEY WILL GIVE YOU FREE CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL. FREE IS GOOD. CONDOMS ARE GOOD. BIRTH CONTROL IS USEFUL.
Good luck!
It was sublime. He gave me a blow-job in the middle of a Midsummer forest, didn't ask for reciprocation, and was okay about kissing without tongues.
It felt right for me. From the minute I got in his truck. I just thought to myself, "This is it, it's gonna happen." So I felt myself to be in control of the situation. Also, he did a good job of presenting me with opportunities to move forward slowly and in a way that felt comfortable to me.
Afterwards, I felt great.
Oh. And that was the first time I ejaculated, as I couldn't quite figure out the mechanics of masturbation, and wouldn't for about another six months. Afterwards, I made up for lost time.
Sex is really great and well worth waiting a few years for so that when you have it you can enjoy it and not pick up a handful of really negative side effects.
Even with really good sex ed there is a high chance that a teenage girl engaging in premarital sex will pick up an STD. Or three.
Do you (and your future life-long partner) really want to spend the rest of your life dealing with that just because you jumped the gun a few years?
The CDC points out that the most (and only) reliable way to avoid STDs is to abstain until in a committed longterm relationship (that's marriage, not some guy you've been dating 3 weeks...) and to be monogamous thereafter. Listen to the nice smart folks at the CDC.
Find a nice guy who shares your values and you can spend a lifetime together having carefree great sex. Cause while sex is great sex with someone you love is really really great. And, frankly, hard to mess up. Read Savage Love to see how people having sex outside a lifelong relationship with someone they love can totally mess sex up and make what should be a source of joy and pleasure a source of misery.
Also even with really good sex ed there is a considerable chance that a teenage girl engaging in premarital sex will get pregnant.
That will present you with a handful of life altering heartbreaking options.
Do you kill your baby? Please don't. It's not the babies fault.
Do you marry the guy who knocked you up? If you two were already planning to get married and are emotionally and educationally prepared for marriage and parenthood go for it. But if it is just some teenage guy don't multiply the error by marrying the clown. If you do here's how your life will play out. You'll have your baby, and maybe another with babydaddy. Then he will split. Cause you two were really ready for marriage, especially not to each other. Now you'll be an uneducated single mom with one or two kids. Not much chance you'll finish your education. Or find a decent husband. You'll wind up with another loser. Probably just shacking up because losers aren't the marrying types and you can't be choosy. You'll have another kid (or two) with loser#2 before he splits. Or abuses your kids and goes to jail. Now you're a single mom with 3-4 kids and a trail of losers in your past. Loser #3 will be worse than the others. And it will go downhill from there. You and your kids deserve much better. Is all this really worth a couple of years of premarital sex?
Do you keep the baby alone? Seems heroic and loving but girls (and their families) that do that are being selfish and focusing on what THEY want and not what is best for their baby. An uneducated unmarried teenage girl is not prepared to be a parent. Financially, emotionally, in any way. It will be much more difficult for you to grow up yourself and finish your education and realize your life's goals. You and your baby deserve better. (You don't want to end up in the "Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father" do you? You are a neat gal. but you are not the only person on earth who can be a good parent to your baby. See the next option...
Do you put the baby up for adoption? That would be a selfless loving thing to do. But it would really be neat if you waited to have your babies until you are ready and looking forward to raising them and able to spend a lifetime being their mom. Well worth postponing sex a few years...
So-
live life,
enjoy being a teenager,
get an education,
respect yourself enough to wait
until you are in a lifelong relationship (remember, that's marriage...)
with a guy who values you for who you are
and not for the sex you put out.
Sex is great.
Great enough to wait for
until it is the right time and you are ready.
Good Luck.
...Cause you two were NOT really ready for marriage,....
The other thing about having sex at 15 (or younger) is that your cervix can be damaged by rough penetrative sex. My ob-gyn pegged my early penetrative sexual activity as the cause of type II dysplasia (look it up) on my cervix. The thing is, there are many options in addition to penetrative sex. So I would urge all kinds of sexual fun on you, YAN, involving non-penetrative sex, and I'd seriously consider waiting until you're 17 to give your body parts a chance to mature a bit.
Personally, I had "get it out of the way" first sex, just before I turned 16. Kept waiting for guilt and regrets to come, that I hadn't waited until I was in love. I'm 53 now, and still haven't felt any regrets, so I suspect they won't be coming....
One thing I would suggest is that the very first time you're intimate with someone, it doesn't have to lead to PIV sex. You can work on getting to know your own (and how guy's bodys respond to stimulation) body before you take that step. Personally, it took me a long time to feel "ready" for vaginal intercourse. My boyfriend and I spent a long while engaging in mutual manual stimulation before we took it to the proverbial "next level." I just had to get to a point where I felt like I was mentally mature enough (there is no way I would have been at 15) for it, and to feel like I knew and trusted him enough to know that nothing would really change once we started having real sex. I know it's not that long of a process for lots of people, I'm just one of the ones who decided to take it slowly and carefully.
Some people say their first time sucked, and they laugh about it. I'm can't say that about myself. My first time (for PIV sex) was moderately pleasant, and we had planned on it the night before, and after it was over, we went back to our normal daily routine. I was SO glad it wasn't a huge dramatic OMG event! It was just another thing we did on that rainy Wednesday, heh. Good luck, YAN!
Sidenote @14 - I agree. I can't climax without clitoral stimulation and g-spot stimulation at the same time. Because of that, I had NEVER had an orgasm until I had one from intercourse while my boyfriend was simultaneously rubbing/thrusting! (Take note, YAN.) I experience clitoral stimulation alone as more of a "loading the ammunition" feeling (makes me more horny), and vaginal/g-spot stimulation as a pleasurable relief of the building arousal. Another way of saying it is that rubbing my clit makes my vag "wake up" and get ready to orgasm. Combine the two and...fireworks!
Also, masturbate. Learn to get yourself off and learn about your own body.
Also, for real, use at least a condom. I know it can seem stupid when all of your friends say that pulling out is totally effective and they all do it, and you think you're both clean if you're both virgins, or close to it... but if you were anything like me as a teenager, with wacky, off-schedule periods, havign to buy pregnancy tests every couple months is really, really scary and embarrassing and lame.
As for when you're ready... just make sure that you don't go enjoying "naked cuddling" with a boy unless you're willing to accept that sex will probably come out of it. Ha. To be a 15 year old virgin in love... naked cuddling seemed like such a good idea at the time...!
Guess my point is, being ready isn't some state you magically arrive at. There's no amount of soul searching or logic to help you or no right age. I'd say you get there by starting at the beginning. Go out with him, have fun doing something nonsexual. If you enjoy it and he seems like a good guy, kiss him. Do that for a while, see what develops. Start feeling around over clothes and then under clothes and if he reaches under your bra and it makes you feel uneasy, stop him. You could tell him or just take a firm but gentle grip and guide his hand somewhere else while you're kissing. He should get the idea. If he gets upset or violent about it, end it there. If he waits a bit, then keeps trying, well, most boys will keep trying. As log as he's no forcing anything, keep stopping him till you don't want to. In all fairness, he may be the shy one and you have to grab his arm and put it on your breasts. I'm just saying stop it when it's uncomfortable, push it when you want more. Eventually, you'll be ready. The next guy goes faster, because now it's less about exploring sex and more about exploring him.
That's just my way anyways.
It's "three millionth," just like it's not "third hundredth," but "three hundredth."
ME FIRST! is ugly in a sex partner, guys or gals.
*goes off to get drunk again*
Be prepared for your first time to be awkward and messy and hopefully fun. Mine didn't hurt much, but my hymen made a kinda funky noise as it popped and then made quite a mess (hooray for dark towels). I did orgasm and it was not my first one of those, which helped, but I was sore for a day or so. I think that for my first couple years active, we were running probably 5 orgasms for him to 3 for me, which was honestly just fine. Then you find a partner who flips the balance the other way and that is a ton of fun!
Echoing several of the others here, my husband and I use condoms and I am on the pill so we are like 99.99% not going to get pregnant by accident. I got tested for STIs every year (just in case) until the year AFTER I met my now husband. We use lube - sometimes you just need a little extra help or one of you wants a hand job. Once you find someone you think may be the right person, spend some time playing before going right to PIV.
If you can, talk to your mom and/or dad and see about going to a gynecologist, too. If you have insurance, you can do things above board instead of needing to do this without their support. I waited a year or so to talk to them about it, but wish I hadn't, but my parents are pretty open minded and apparently already suspected. Then again, I had friends who tried this and their parents effectively stuck their fingers in their ears and went "la la la" so do what you think is best with that.
Otherwise, have fun! Sex, when you care about each other, respect each other, and can communicate, is a blast! :-)
YAN, one way to lower the "nervous" part of the equation is to build up sexual experiences with the same guy. Boyfriend or friends with benefits, doesn't matter. Start off with the making out, move up to fondling. See if you can't get eachother off with your hands. If he's another 15 year old (and I hope he's not TOO much older than you) he's probably nervous and none too skillful. Show him how you do yourself so he can try it on his own. Move on to oral and THEN go for penetration (with protection!!). Not all on the same day, build up to it. That way when you go for the final penetrative step, you'll already be comfortable with eachothers bodies and it will be far less intimidating.
Good luck!
My first time was a result of just wanting to get it over with. The boy I loved and who loved me started to pressure me, and I jumped to the extreme conclusion that that meant he was just saying he loved me to get in my pants. So I did with an older boy who made it very clear that he was only interested in me as a conquest. (Kinda fucked up thinking, but I'm kinda fucked up.) I didn't do it again for a year and a half, and my second time was with the good guy that should have been my first. It was still awkward and painful but I'm glad we shared the experience. It wasn't until a couple of months after that that I actually enjoyed sex for the first time. The trick: he was inside me but kept totally still while we touched and kissed; I was able to relax enough so that it didn't hurt once he started to move again.
But it's not the penetration per se that's the problem.
And there are very effective vaccines for that now.
My girlfriend is a case worker for teen moms in a transitional housing facility. From what I've seen and heard from her, all I can say to YAN is: DO NOT GET PREGNANT.
The most important part of Dan's answer was "Go to Planned Parenthood now!"
My girlfriend of 2.5 years and I (we're 23) started having sex recently (and it's amazing and I'm so glad I waited for her, so waiting till you're 23 is cool too, YAN) but the point is that we use both condoms AND a Nuvaring.
Enjoy yourself, but above all be safe. Sex IS a big decision that can have big consequences; minimize your risk.
Also, you should think about who you are considering having sex with and know what you want from that person versus what they want from you! If you want love/sex and they want sex/sex, choosing to have sex with them can create more emotional havoc after than it's worth.
Sex does change the dynamics of your friendship/relationship so be honest with yourself and your partner. Sometimes you can know this without talking about it, but do your best to be certain, including asking, if necessary. If you aren't sure and you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't do it.
That's not everyone's course, but it was my choice and I did it when it was right for me, with the person I wanted to experience it with, and when I was comfortable with the risk of getting pregnant. And I loved the whole path of experiences!
You are a smart girl to ask yourself and others these questions. Make sure you answer them for yourself (no matter what others are doing are saying)... and then enjoy!!!
A lot of people giving you advice on this thread haven't been in high school since social media became so widespread. When I was in school, if people harassed me, I could leave at 3 pm and go home and have some relief. Now, gossip can be broadcast to the world, 24/7. Make sure you and your partner have the same definition about what's ok to share and what's not. I imagine that if I were in high school now, I would check out any prospective lover's Myspace/Facebook/Twitter profile. If s/he has a habit of crossing boundaries online (in other words, posting really private info so your peers can read it), I'd think twice about having sex with that person.
i switched to a new school and guess what? met a new boy, one that gave me all the "feelings," not just a secure feeling. needless to say, my first and i were never able to put the genie back in the bottle, and ceased to be friends. we tried, kinda, but we couldn't make things go back to the way they were.
so do what you want with that.
I hope I'm not too late on this train, and I hope you bookmarked this for future reference. And pass it along to your friends because this is really already full of great advice. I'm going to add my own, great or not, and I hope it helps.
- Don't expect too much. From yourself or your partner. Theoretically, you're both still under the age of 18 (unless he's older than that, in which case RUN LIKE YOUR ASS IS ON FIRE.), and neither of you will have much experience. My first time, I was 16 going on 17, and my ex was 16. It hurt, I will shit you not, and it was unpleasant for me. He didn't mind, but then again, he didn't have a hymen.
- We used a condom, and I later went on birth control. I recommend using both, every time, no exceptions. And if you're not interested in hormonal birth control, you can always talk to your gynecologist about getting a cervical cap, or talk to your pharmacist about female condoms.
- For the love of fuck, do not ever, EVER allow him to not use a condom. Never. Super-not cool, especially if he is really insistent and swears he won't come inside you. Guess what? I'm engaged to be married, and my fiance can't control when he comes either. He's 33. I'm on HBC (Alesse 28) and I take it religiously. (Take THAT Catholic Upbringing!)
- Sex changes everything. It changes how you feel about yourself, how you feel about your partner, and even how you're going to feel about future interactions with others. Keep that in mind when you make your decision, and if you can't see yourself continuing on with the relationship after the fact, it might not be worth doing it right now.
That being said, I hated having sex with my ex-boyfriend. Sweaty, hamfisted, panty, nothing at all like what I had built up in my mind, and after the fact, I figured blowjobs would be easier. Since then, I've grown up, matured a lot more than I thought I would, and met and agreed to marry a man who is much more to me in bed than I ever thought possible.
Bottom line, your first might not be worst, but they won't be the best, and they can sometimes be just a starting point to bigger and better things.
- You are only 15 too. I started dating my ex at 16, and it was 2 days before my 17th birthday that we had sex for the first time. While I had matured, I also wish I had waited. And while I don't regret sex before marriage because it's been a mostly positive experience for me, I do regret the guy I did it with because... *shudder* well. He was about as fun as a bag of wet hair.
- GET A PAP TEST. GET MANY. After you become sexually active, you should get a Pap Test as soon as possible. You should get them yearly after that. Get them, and repeat after me: "As bad as this is, it's not cancer."
Finally, please, PLEASE talk to a responsible adult when the time comes. I hope you've got someone, a friend who is a bit older, a cousin you're close with, even a sister of a friend because while sex isn't completely life-changing, it's always good to know there's someone who's got your back.
Oh and a good gynecologist is worth their weight in GOLD. I have two, one in my hometown, and one in the city I currently reside. One is an older male, and one is a older (lesbian) female. Both of them are completely awesome, as I can open up about anything that's happened sexually, or even menstrually, and they are both really easy to talk to. They should be, and if you can't talk about things like queefs, or female ejaculation without the doctor giving you the brush-off, they're not worth your time because they can't be responsible for your health with that kind of attitude.
Good luck!
And, of course, practice putting condoms on that dildo of yours. :)
I had a boyfriend when I was in high school. I was really nervous about sex - in the abstract I wanted it and I was horny as hell, but with a live horny guy in front of me, oh no way, I was terrified. I didn't want to have sex with him, so I didn't.
When I was 20 I was with a guy, and it felt right. He was kind, patient, and respectful. He was also pretty experienced and damn good in bed. We spent months fooling around with no pressure from him to go any farther. Having intercourse was 100% my decision. At that point, there was no fear, just desire. And it was awesome.
Not only will it dull the feeling of needing to run out and experience sex with someone else (and at that age, it will likely not be very much fun - most of your potential partners will be very unskilled) - but also when you do end up having a partner to play with, you will be able to tell them exactly what gets you off; if your partner knows exactly how to get you off, you will both have much more fun.
Also, hands can be wonderful things.
1. Masturbate a lot. If you don't now, start doing it; if you do, keep doing it. Most teenage boys will have barely any idea what to do to make you feel good, but the ones you have sex with should at least be eager to learn. You need to know what you like so you can show the guy you're with. If you're with a guy and he doesn't seem to care about what you want, don't have sex with him. He's a moron or a jerk or both.
1a. Seriously. Don't have sex with jerks.
2. There are lots of different kinds of sex you can have. You don't have to start with, or even include, vaginal intercourse until you feel more experienced. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, intermammary sex, dry humping - all of these things feel really good. They also have no chance of getting you pregnant. (You should still be careful about fluid contact and take precautions to protect against STDs. Talk to somebody at Planned Parenthood about what to do.)
3. When you do feel ready to have vaginal intercourse, take it slow. Make him let you set the pace. If you don't feel wet enough to put it in, have him go down on you. If he won't go down on you, don't have sex with him. (See 1a.)
4. If you haven't already, get the HPV vaccine. I know it's expensive. It's still less expensive than genital warts and / or cancer. There are ways to get it at reduced cost through PP.
5. Don't have sex in public until you're 18. If you're underage and you get caught doing it in the back of a car, the cops will give you a hard time. Take my word for it on this, mkay?
6. Don't take naked pictures of yourself or allow somebody else to take naked pictures of you. Teenage boys can't be trusted with such things, and the internet is forever. Also, there's that nonsense about child pornography laws and being on the sex offender registry for life. Far better to steer clear of all that.
7. Don't have sex with guys who are way older than you. Trust me, a 22-year-old man who wants to have sex with a 15-year-old girl is a creepy jerk. (See 1a.)
8. Don't assume your parents won't know. They're older and cleverer than you, and they were 15 once. They're also better at seeing through the bullshit teenagers fall for. Take their advice to heart.
I hope the above doesn't sound too pedantic. Best of luck to you.
I do know that for me, it wasn't until I moved away from home and "found myself" that I was ready. My family was Catholic and some family members abused me, sexually, emotionally, and physically. They said things like, "If you have oral sex, you won't be a virgin anymore." Which would be a fine interpretation, except they acted like the state of not-being-a-virgin-anymore was scum they scraped off their shoe.
But I almost had sex with a lot of guys who actually bore a lot of similarities to my family: domineering, narcissistic, closed-minded. I am glad I waited and figured things out because my first was a very non-damaging, awkward but nice experience - and he was a genuinely good guy. Sex leaves you quite vulnerable and done wrong (like with an abusive or just not-very-nice partner, or when you're in a really bad way) it has the potential to hurt you on a whole lot of levels.
I'm glad I waited until I had more experience with dating, and other fooling around to actually have intercourse, because by then I was better at reading people and selecting partners - armed with some mistakes and some good times and an increased ability to predict which relationships/encounters would lead to which.
If you feel yourself to be in a good emotional health, someone who treats others well and doesn't put up with people who treat you badly, then just do it when you really want to (and have condoms). But if you have low self-esteem you may want to wait even past when you really want to, until you're in a state where you can really trust your own analysis of yourself, and of other people. The time it takes to achieve that state may vary, but even if it's a couple years, in my opinion, it's worth the wait. Because now sex is really, really awesome.
Babyproofing is important, unless you want to end up like the 14-16 year old girls at the Walmart pharmacy where my mom works--they come in like clockwork every month and buy pregnancy tests, giggling while they talk about their partners' inability to pull out. And these are the "good kids" from the affluent high school.
Also @94 - Good luck on not having sex with jerks. I generally tried not to but managed to date/sleep with a few anyway. Besides, some of them are amazing in bed! But still, if you are going to have sex with jerks, try to make sure you know what you are getting into :-)
Despite what the norm is in these comments, plenty of people wait until they are in their twenties, for various reasons... #1 being not finding the right man or woman. There is absolutely no need to feel rushed, at any age.