I'm a gay man who was born with a penis. Thanks for printing the advice to FTMs this week. I think it's great to support these guys and make them more visible. A couple years ago, I went to a FTM/Gay Men Forum at the San Francisco LGBTQ Community Center. There was anger and arguments over pronouns and words like "bioguy" versus "cisguy." But mostly there was a lot of frustration coming from gay-identified FTMs over not feeling included, let alone being embraced, by gay men in the gay community.

So after I learned some very general guidelines and sensibilities of what to say and what not to say, my next order of business was to hook-up with a FTM. I let him know that he was my first transman, we talked it all out, and the sex was awesome as FUCK! I'd never seen or touched a pussy in my life. The day I first went to town on a guy's hot and juicy bonus hole is the day the that I graduated from being "gay" to being "queer"— not "bisexual" mind you—and it felt so natural.

I want the all the FTM fellas out there who are into cock to stay encouraged! Gay guys who love guys with pies are out there!!!

Loves A Guy With A Pie

My response after the jump...


Thanks for sharing, LAGWAP, and to all the idle-on-angry FTMs out there (who are not to be confused with all the FTMs out there, mind you, but the idle-on-angry ones are the likeliest to jump into comments): please note that LAGWAP who used the expression "guys with pies," not me.

I have it from a reliable source that lots of FTMs are still upset about the last time the expression "guys with pies" appeared in "Savage Love." That was nearly five years ago—five years ago, guys!—and even then it wasn't me who used the expression, but another gay man like LAGWAP, i.e. a gay man who's attracted to FTMs. Now I'm not defending LAGWAP or that other fag, gentlemen, but I would like to respectfully suggest to the FTM community that the expression "guys with pies" in the context of a letters like LAGWAP's and that other fag's has to be viewed as FTM- and pie-positive.

It certainly can't be any more offensive than "bonus hole."

And to all the idle-on-angry bisexuals out there (who are not to be confused with all the bisexuals out there, mind you, but the idle-on-angry ones are the likeliest to jump into the comments): before you complain about LAGWAP's arguably biphobic aside ("not 'bisexual' mind you"), please note that there's nothing remotely bisexual about one gay man sleeping with another gay man even if one or both of the gay men in question is a gay-identified FTM. Feel free to chastise LAGWAP for his haste—the hurry he's in to dispel any thought that he might be bi could be tinged with biphobia—but don't insist that LAGWAP has to be bisexual because he digs guys with pies—not unless you want a crowd of angry FTMs to tear you a few bonus holes of your own.