Emailed to I, Anonymous:
There are all kinds of people in the world, but some just scare us. Even on our worst day, we could not imagine committing even one of these offenses. Here is a sampling of what one person has done in the last year:
* Fell off their stool more than 6 times that we have personally witnessed.
* Has been so drunk, they didn't recognize people.
* Frequently cannot remember the entry code to their building.
* Woke up and had to pull slivers out of their buttocks and genitals because they urinated outside in the bark then fell in it.
* Woke up in bed with 2 guys and didn't know who they were or how they got there.
* Coke user.
* Was pushing lines of coke on friends who helped them move in. What a way to say thank you for the help!
* Put on suspension for 2 weeks for causing a huge scene in their place of employment and repetitively slandered their boss for 15 minutes.
* Has physically grabbed onto and begged to sleep with close friends who just wanted to see this inebriated person home safely.
* Ran across the room, yelled at someone and accused them of trying to spread AIDS then stumbled backwards for 10 feet before finally slamming into the furniture.
* Told a subordinate worker, "The only reason you work here is because I f****** allow you to."
* Called another co-worker a "fat b******"
* Broke up via text.
* Was so wasted, they left their friend at a bar 20 miles from home (and drove home drunk).
This person has committed all of these offenses in the last 12 months. Can you imagine having their life? Can you imagine how they'll try to rationalize their behavior when their friends read this and laugh at them?
Wow. Somebody's having a 2010 to remember, or not. All that's missing is "Threw a cat into a wheelie bin." Best of luck to all involved.