Comments

1
I have to agree with the commenter that Dan is being a cunt.
2
So sorry, but language isn't prescriptive.
3
Um....okay? I have a cunt...I like the word cunt. And?
4
I'm gonna give my pussy back and get a dick if I have to listen to one more whiney bitch tell me that Dan hates women. He's not a woman hating fag, if you ever stuck your head out of your ass long enough to look around you'd know what a true woman hating fag looked and acted like. Get the fuck over yourself.
5
I'm with Sil.
6
Dan indeed hates women...

...as sexual partners.

It really irks me when I hear extreme liberals attack moderate liberals over semantics.
7
What do you guys think: Freshman or Sophomore Women's Studies student?

We should have a poll.
8
Why do you hate Polls and people from Polland so much, CN?
9
For the record, Dan does not hate women.

He fucking hates everybody.
10
I'm not really comfortable with Dan's use of the word 'cunt', but to say that he hates woman is stupid. Anyone who's read Dan knows that.
I think that this letter writer is letting their own personal issues and/or political correctness cloud their judgment.
11
Sophomore women's studies student... most definitely.
12
I rarely use the term myself, but sometimes you need to call a spade a spade and not worry about who it offends. YES I'm a woman. YES I know what the term implies. YES it is derogatory, it's supposed to be. YES she deserves it. YES I've known a few cunts myself.

When someone pulls this bull shit on you and your family and your kids, someone who doesn't know you, you can call them whatever you deem appropriate and too bad if it offends anyone.
13
Sometimes the best compliment a person can pay to first-class hyperbole is this sort of cheap imitation.
14
Failing to understand how calling one woman a cunt = hating on women (plural). That's like thinking calling Savage a hatemonger = calling all fags hatemongers. Way to double-standard there.
15
It's worth mentioning that just because some, or even all, of your harshest critics are whackjobs does not, in of itself, make you right.
16
wait a minute.. did inga write this letter ?
17
It's a word, not an action. As a former English major, I find that words only give them as much meaning as you allow them.

What a cunt.
18
Dan's title for this letter is perfect.
19
Calling people cunts and dicks
Slog in a nutsack.
20
@19 for the Oh So True win. You dick.
21
This all begs the question: does this woman also disparage those who use the word "dick" or "cock" or "prick" as a pejorative term for "mean person"? Because, as a man, I don't consider those terms to be particularly offensive to my gender. "Cunt" is an offensive term, in that it's a strong word. But it's the feminine form of "dick", really.
22
"A real man would print this (and every other letter like this)..."

And then a real man wouldn't have any readers at all, because that would be extremely boring.
23
The cunt who wrote in the Washington Times is almost as big a cunt as the cunt who cun't recognize that Dan's asking for permission to call the WT cunt a cunt displays far less hatred for women in general than every cunt in Scotland. If Dan is a hater for asking sloggers if he can call a cunt a cunt, every cunt in Scotland has made the place the most misogynous place on Earth. So fuck you, cunt. Go ride a fucking broomstick.
24
About 60-70% of the time, Dan is a total asshole to people. The rest of the time, there's compassion and caring and really thoughtful answers. It's like there are two of him or something. I just try to skim over his mean-spirited answers and appreciate the things like the "It Gets Better" project.
25
Also, while we're on the subject of being overly sensitive to others' wording, I really can't stand the phrase "a real man." Whenever I hear someone say that I have to resist a reflexive "Fuck you."
26
1:2 this letter-writing cunt doesn't have one.
27
@20 ewwwww, that was a wet willy
and don't say 'it gets better because i'm a bed wetter'
28
"A real man"? So you aren't allowed to call people 'cunts' because that is derogatory to women but you are allowed to imply that masculinity is synonymous with bravery and fairness. I'm confused. Please tell me how that couldn't be interpreted as a self-hating misogynistic statement by your standards.

For the record, I call people -- men and women -- a 'cunt' when they are truly vile. But I also refuse to call a vagina a 'cunt.' I just don't use the same words for jackasses as I do for parts of the anatomy (penis=cock; jackass=a dick); that would be stupid. It's like how 'idiot' used to mean someone who was mentally retarded and doesn't any more; it's just a word for someone you don't like.
29
Hey thanks for the Seal Press publicity!
30
"Hate speech"?? I am rolling my eyes. Good lord. Way to make women look stupid.
31
The female generative organs are the sacred font of all life and you may not disparage them. So mote it be.
32
Yeah, Dan hates women....that's why he has dedicated a sizeable chunk of his advice over the years to advising men on how to make women happy in bed, and women how to make themselves and other women happy in bed. Clearly he has it in for the entire gender. You've rumbled him, angry letter-writer.
33
If she was a real woman she would go back to her kitchen and bake some cookies.
34
Dan's right. The writer of that letter has a right to his opinion but I've been reading "Savage Love" for over a decade and Dan does NOT "hate on women". Dan calls out a cunt when a cunt is being a cunt. Period.
35
does anyone else remember when no man who ever hoped to get laid said 'cunt', period? i think it was 1988. maybe it was just straight guys, though. it was like white people saying nigger - never acceptable.
36
@35 - I think our growing exposure to the UK's media has shifted our collective feeling about the word. Also, Clive Barker.
37
Huh? What is this lady off on?

No one cares about cunt, but she is creating a fun new insult for everyone to throw around - 'women's studies student'.
38
This is why I only use the term asshole for all of my insulting. That way, I only upset people who have assholes.
39
Danny is exactly like the homophobic bigot haters is so obsesses over.
EXACTLY.
He just has different targets for his hate and bigotry.
Sorry to break the news, fanboys.....
40
@35, I think it was more recently than that.
41
How did the word "cunt" get such a bad reputation, anyway? It was good enough for Chaucer. And there are plenty of other gendered slurs that are far more insulting in their connotations, but don't seem to inspire the hate that this one does. I don't get it.
42
@35 - Can't say I remember a time like that. Then again, as a kid in Oz the term was so ubiquitous it seemed even Blinky Bill was liable to drop a c-bomb or two if the situation called for it.

I've never quite figured out why there's such objection to that word in this country.
43
@7: Freshman.
44
Heh heh... what a stupid twat.
45
wow. really? political correctness is getting so boooooring.
46
I really LOVE it when she compares homophobia to womanphobia, implying that a "fun night out" for gay-bashers would somehow equal you (Savage) using a word (cunt) that has nowhere near the power/meaning of faggot, etc. and incite anti-woman violence.

Is "cunt" hate speech? Will men, gay and straight, rise up against women using that word as their n-word?
47
Unless you get as enraged when someone calls a man a Dick or a Prick then you have no say. STFU please.
48
I feel like I'm part of Jon Stewart's 70% here. I'm not going to lobby for Dan to use the word cunt, but I feel sort of "meh" about it. I'm certainly not in this letter writer's 15%, but I'm not in the "she's a stupid twat" 15% either.
49
I seem to have missed the indoctrination day at school where I learned that cunt is the second worst word in the English language (second only to the N-word, of course). I learned it in middle school, at the same time I learned all the other genitalia slang terms: dick, cock, pussy, prick, cunt, etc. It wasn't until college that I learned that I was supposed to be mortally offended if someone uttered that word, and by that time I had been calling my cunt "my cunt" for years.

It never seemed to be a "pussy" or a "va-jay-jay" (oh, gawd) or any of the other terms. It's my cunt, and it's very happy being my cunt. Not having that knee-jerk reaction to the word "cunt" has saved me a lot of hassle.

My cunt is currently reminding me that I have not yet observed Christine O'Donnell Masturbation Day(s) yet today, so let me take care of that.
50
Agree w/ 36 about the UK influence. One of my favorite shows, Green Wing, is british and twat is about every other word. Only they say it 'twaat' and I find that endearing.
51
Saying Rebecca Hagelin started it would be true, but not called for. The Washington TImes woman is a cunt, plain and simple, and calling her a cunt or not calling her a cunt, doesn't change the fact that she's a cunt. You can say Dan hates on people, but when it comes right down to it, the whole blog is his opinions, take 'em or leave 'em. So, angry writer, get the fuck over it and let the man call a cunt a cunt and a fag a fag and santorum the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.
52
As a woman, I've only every felt that Dan respected our sex--and humankind in general. Dan is a tolerant, reasonable person, and has always shown himself to be so.

I don't know what that writer is talking about, honestly.
53
I wish I had so few real problems that I could get this upset over my own deliberate interpretation of someone else's speech as being offensive to me.

I mean, seriously? Using the word "cunt," consciously, not a little ironically, constitutes oppressive woman-bashing? Get the fuck over yourself. If you think it's in bad taste say so, but spare me the fucking unmedicated bipolar hyperbole.
54
The poll would have been even more scientifically sound and legally binding if only women were invited to vote, since it's women who are demeaned - or not demeaned, as the case may be - by the pejorative use of a female body part.

@13 - the issue is not making a generalization about all women based on this woman. It's the idea that if cunt is used as an insult, there's an underlying assumption that cunts are bad. A better analogy would be the use of "that's so gay" as an insult.

@47 - using prick or dick as an insult is not as big of a deal because anti-male sexism and anti-female sexism exist in very different historical contexts. Women have been demeaned by thousands of years of religions, laws, and social customs - men have not. As an analogy, calling a black person a nigger is worse than calling a white person a cracker, and calling a gay person a faggot is worse than calling a straight person a breeder, because whites and straights are privileged and not so easily demeaned.

@49 - I'm not sure if you're responding to the initial thread topic or to the later post about cunt being a taboo word. FWIW, I don't have any problem at all with cunt being used as a synonym for vagina (though I probably wouldn't say it in front of my grandma). What I object to is cunt being used as an insult, because of the misogynist idea that underlies that usage. In the same way, I think it's misogynist to call a man "a girl" if your point is that he's acting weak or cowardly; the problem is misogyny, not profanity.

And for the record, I'm a sophomore...
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in biochemistry. Psych!

56
My dear friend Marianne - late of Bailey-Coy books, albeit a million years ago - legitimized the use of "the C word" for me. I don't often say it, but I admit to thinking it on a fairly regular basis.
57
Ugh ugh ugh why must these idiots keep trying to spread their stupidity and acting all outraged? Reading this letter and trying to understand how someone could get that confused is like trying to understand Tea Party logic.... blech
58
Now that you've entered the thread, rhymeswithlibrarian, do you really think that Dan hates women? Do you think he intended to dis women by calling Rebecca Hagelin a cunt?
59
The poll would have been even more scientifically sound and legally binding if only women were invited to vote . . .

I doubt you could explain what "scientifically sound" or "legally binding" mean if paid a fortune to do so.
60
"Cunt" isn't a word I take lightly. I use it sparingly, or else it loses its meaning. The Hagelin woman is clearly a cunt. As a woman, I agree with #21. Why is calling a woman a cunt not okay, but it's okay to call a guy a dick? Seriously, find something else to worry about.
61
@58 - No, I definitely don't think that Dan hates or disrespects women. I've read too much of his work to think that.

@59 - I'll be happy to explain those terms if you'll just start by explaining what irony means.

62
So how many more idiotic quotes until we can call Eddie Long a nigger?

There was a time not too long ago when this wouldn't have seemed like such a far cry from what we're talking about with cunt. The meaning of words changes over time, and it's hard to say when, exactly, a word has lost its power or resonance enough to use it as a common insult. When did cunt stop implying that you hate all women, and start meaning that you hate this or that woman? The n-bomb still implies hatred for all blacks.
63
@56 - Have you ever seen the Vagina Monologues? There's a great scene where one of the characters explains why she loves the word cunt, then gets the audience to chant it.
64
People like this make me want to claw my eyes out.
65
#54 Wins!
66
Just read the article to which the author was referring. In my opinion, Dan as an adoptive gay father and reasonable human being has every right and reason to call Rebecca Hagelin a "cunt." She is a cunt. I say it not as opinion, but fact. It's 70 degrees outside and Rebecca Hagelin is a cunt. End of story.

Also, the author/whiner is a douche.

XOXO,
The Decider
67
Cunty McCunterson
68
@61 Not that you want advice, but anyway:
Your heart's in the right place and it's a decent thing to care about how other people's actions effect the greater world (I despise the use of the term retarded in a derogatory sense). But yelling at someone, especially when you turn their motivation into a caricature, never brings someone to your side. It often just entrenches them.

What does work? A few weeks ago, Louis CK put out a video that made people think about the word faggot.
http://www.queersighted.com/2010/07/12/l…
It informed; it didn't preach. If you can convince people that way, do so. If you can't convince people that way, ask yourself why not.
69
as an out and proud sicko, i'm offended by this letter.
70
Did Loveschild write this Dan?
71
God, that letter writer is such a pussy! I mean, scrotum!
72
rofl @ 7. I'll vote in that pole.

Also, I'm a feminist religion student and I LOVE profanity.

-rock n' roll nigger cunt

73
Oh, get over yourself for fuck's sake. What @4 said.
74
Overall, this letter is symptomatic of the ridiculous inability of politically-charged individuals to see the forest for the trees. You really think that the It Gets Better project, and Dan's video, don't show compassion beyond their sexual orientation (MANY of whom include WOMEN)? There are so many bigger problems to be addressed in the world and to spend time picking on one word from one angry blog post shows a deep disrespect of Dan's work and a serious misplacement of your time and attention.

Side note: This is from a grad student
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In Women's Studies!
75
I don't get it. Women are called cunts. Guys are called cunts. Guys are called dicks. Women are rarely called dicks. If anything, the imbalance is in women's favor!
76
Plus, does the commenter realize there's a difference between leveling a personal insult at someone based on their expressed opinions, tinged with a gender association though it may be, and leveling an epithet at someone simply because they fit within the demographic group for the epithet?

No, I'm guessing not.
77
@61 irony: a rhetorical device, literary technique, or situation in which there is an incongruity or discordance that goes beyond the simple and evident meaning of words or actions

It appears to be something you don't grasp, actually, considering that a) you apparently took the "Slog polls are scientifically sound and legally binding" thing seriously, and b) attempted yet failed miserably to identify the conditions that would make such things possible.
78
@68 - Thanks for your response. I didn't think I was yelling or preaching, just explaining - but I recognize that calling something misogynist will get some people's backs up, regardless of the tone of the rest of my post.

I agree with you on the term retarded. I think the vast majority of people who use retarded or gay or lame as an insult aren't hateful, dangerous bigots - they're just going along with common practice without examining the assumptions behind that practice. And that's how I can think this particular piece of Dan's writing is disrespectful to women without thinking that Dan (or his writing as a whole) is misogynist.

And in case anyone's wondering, I am not the person who wrote the original letter to Dan. I realize that writing "For the record, I'm a sophomore..." may have been confusing.

Oh, and thanks for the link. I liked:

"Does your mom really do that?"

"I don't know, I don't talk to her every day."
79
@68 Not that you want advice, but anyway:
Rhymes with librarian didn't yell at Dan. Rhymes with librarian simply argued that Dan's totally righteous anger didn't magically turn "cunt" into a righteous pejorative.

Look I love Dan, even when (maybe especially when) he's being an asshole. I don't think he is a misogynist at all. But I really don't want my cunt, of which I am fond, associated with this Hagelin piece o' shit. She doesn't deserve the honor, frankly.
80
@77:

Sigh.

The person who started the custom of writing "Slog polls are scientifically sound and legally binding" knew that they aren't.

When Dan wrote that the Slog poll was legally binding, he knew that it wasn't.

When I wrote that a Slog poll could be made even more scientifically sound and legally binding, I knew that it couldn't. I was attempting to harness the power of incongruity/discordance for comic effect - how can something that's not remotely scientific or legal become "more" scientific or legal? - and to continue a running joke.

Are we sorted out?
81
Just scrolled to the bottom of comments to add my peeved two bits: I've read Dan for years and years. He does not hate women. Anyone who thinks he does is unfamiliar with him. Piss off, pissy pisspants.
82
YES...some people are cunts..Fuck! Too right!
83
Anyone who could call Dan a misogynist after reading and listening to him even a little is NOT PAYING ATTENTION. It'd stupid, shallow, unenlightened pedantry.

And Rhymes, let's not get into a debate about the historical context of different kinds of bigotry. Bigotry is bigotry and making the world safe for even a little of it is not a smart thing.

Stupid, vile, hateful people deserve to be called stupid, vile, hateful names.
84
To think you put forth that much effort in the first place, to argue someones personal opinion, because you feel you should have a say, but soon you'll graduate school and realize you don't, is beyond me and my run-on sentence. I feel you will be much more successful in your future endeavors if you learn to let things go.

Sincerely,

the guy who just wasted 4 more minutes of his life writing this response and in turn is being quite hypocritical.

Cheers!
85
Dan, stop taking the bait with stuff like this. The people who read your column/listen to the podcast know you don't hate women. Printing it just validated her lunacy.
86
seriously, bitch needs to get over herself. cunt is just a word, and one that applies to that cunt at the WT if it ever applied to anyone.
87
women dont own the word "cunt." its an equal-opportunity dis to me, male, female, or indifferent.
and dan savage IS a bit of a nasty, dripping cunt sometimes.
and i think a woman can be a dick, too. and calling dan savage a woman hater is something a dick would do, because all i remember is his defense of womens' reproductive rights across the board.
so fuck you and your dick cunt, lady.
88
Nah, I'm still in the I've-got-a-cunt-so-I-can-use-the-term camp. She certainly is a cunt, but I feel Letter Writer is a little right in her anger too (although she takes it to extremes. I don't think Dan hates women, he's just a awfully nonchalant about people who aren't Dan.) Let's call fuckoff stupid politician lady something that isn't about genitalia and all be happy, ok? (oh, and people with the women's studies jokes? Ha ha, now go fuck yourselves. Cuntwaffles.)
89
This is like people who consider using "douche" to describe someone as an attack against womyn or whatever. It's a derogitory term for a woman, yes, but it is not something to be used lightly. LIke Maggie Gallagher? She's a cunt. That's not saying that all women are cunts. My mom is a woman, after all, and I would never call her that. And yes, Dan could have just as easily called this WT woman a bigoted, close-minded, hateful idiot, but calling her a cunt is just as accurate.
90
i'm actually kind of surprised by the reaction to this. who know the "liberal elites" were so damned think-skinned.
91
my wife has often used the word cunt towards other women drivers who piss her off...does this make her a self hating woman?

jesus some of you people are so sensitive...maybe you need a nap.
92
What a cunt.
93
I <3 Dan Savage. I admire the way he handled this letter. He posted it, just as the writer requested, without adding any response of his own. Why? Because he knew that that dozens of readers would weigh in and judge the validity of her argument. And they did... pointing out the irony, the failures of logic, the double-standards, the exaggerated, seemingly juvenile over-sensitivity in her letter. The people have spoken (and in a surprisingly level-headed, sane, liberal-but-not-unreasonable tone. Could Jon Steward be on to something here?)

I really hope our letter-writer is reading all these comments and realizing how ridiculous she sounds. It was easy for her to unload her righteous indignation in an anonymous letter that she assumed would never see the light of day. But now her opinion is front and center on the stage, naked in the spotlight (albeit still anonymous), for everyone to see and analyze and comment on, to pick apart & ridicule (or to support & defend, but that didn't seem to happen). Not so easy, being under the magnifying glass, is it, honey? Well guess what? Dan puts himself out there like that every day.

Dan, you're such a stud. I want you to fuck my cunt.
...
Except you don't do that...
...
and I don't have one...
...
Hey, look how that worked out! Come on over to my tiny studio apartment you ever want some clumsy vanilla sex with a chubby 31-year-old with a 5" dick. Heck, you can bring the husband too.
94
Corrections to #93:

*Jon Stewart (not "Steward")

*5.5 inches. But just because it's Dan.
95
My masculist friend thinks Dan is biased against men and some feminists think Dan is biased against women; to me, these cancel out and show that he is as fair as one could reasonably hope.
96
What a great country!

Bed time. Good night!
97
I have found that people who resort to using the type of language used either have a weak argument hoping to mask the fact by appearing upset enough to use offensive words & such or feel it makes them "tougher" somehow.

If you can't get your point across any other way it doesn't mean your views are wrong. It means, to me anyway, that you're without fault or better than who/what your complaining about.

Because someone else is insensitive doesn't make it ok for anyone else to respond in kind.

I do keep it in mind that many people get PAID to stir up people and people's emotions and more. Rush Limbaugh for one, even Glenn Beck. They serve their purpose in society. (Glenn Beck has taken his views to another level, granted).

I see your point regardless of how you made it. Perhaps it has allowed those you skirted outright bashing (hmph) to realize its best to think a little harder before speaking when emotions are running high. What and how something is said usually comes across much better when a little time passes.

I spoke a lot, mostly the obvious. Thank you for your time.
98
@62 Eddie Long is a cunt.
99
Fuck you, context!
100
I wish copropHAGia/HAGite wasn't pronounced "phagia..."

For those unaware: a coprophagite is a feces eating manimal. Coprophagia is the act of eating shit.

Maybe we can just throw in a lispy hippie stoned voice and make it co-prop-HAG-ite... Co. Prop(8). HAG. Ite. A compliant, brainless worshipper of prop 8 wenches named hagelin... Who happen to be shitfaced fucks (literally) due to consumption of (right wing bat-)shit... Feces being in the HAG's diet seems ... Perfect.

I do agree with rhymeswithlibrarian in general, and not because I am any less desensitized to it or any more offended by it (except when my mom says it--that still irks me at times since god knows what else she'll be saying as senility undoubtedly slips in down in the brain frying retirement Mecca she moved to, FL)... I just think it is a lame attack. It lacks the creative energy usually produced by such repulsions. Santorum set the bar high for such critical matters as dissing by pissing.

I think Dan was perfectly justified in calling her cunt in principle, but he is better than that. I just want a better term, maybe smegma faced coprophagite. Or Mormon. They often mean the same thing, special "made from god's very own holy pubes" undies and all. Not that I mind polyamory: I just mind when only the jackass man gets to fuck with many. (Unless all the wome nin the marriage are bi, then what a great excuse to fool around in the name of screaming Jesus F. Christ while getting it on in the kitchen--better buy some extra zucchini...)

That was a waste of typing and time. Gnight.

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