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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
You fly with weed? Seriously, that's dumb. Or are you just saying that at some point in the past you had weed in your backpack?
Remember, you're an American, it's none of the government's business what you do. Especially dogs - they obviously worship Satan, because their name is Gods name backwards.
*revises opinion of Dan's intelligence down several notches*
Seriously, don't fly with weed. If you can't do without, that's what brownies and truffles are for. Fuck's sake.
Be careful with your bags, though. Once I bought some fireworks in WA in route to Oak Harbor, and tossed them in my own reusable bag. No need to use a plastic bag, right? Foolishly I put that same bag in the outer pocket of my suit case, I didn't know it was that exact bag, a few months later and got busted in the airport in route to LA. Needless to say the bag and I have parted company. Smells hang on. And, apparently I look like trouble, so I might be a poor "good luck charm". But, I don't file my nails on airplanes, guitar playing means they are kept short.
Well, not in a recognizable, weed-like form, at any rate.
You must buy the panther as penance. You MUST. And a glass case for it at home so Terry doesn't have to dust it.
I will be flying into the Indianapolis airport at thanksgiving (and did you notice that you can't actually see the gate numbers when you are standing in that round "inner courtyard" area??) and I will check to see if the silver surfin' cougar is still there. If it's not, I will assume that it's resting on your mantel.
And NO, do not get the puma panther thingy, you'll never get it through the metal detectors. How much did that thing weigh, did you pick it up at least?
Oh, and fuck people who file their nails on public transportation of any sort. I had a guy flossing his teeth across from me on a crowded subway a few months ago...wtf?
I believe a panther in lordosis is the must have conversation piece for any sex advice columnist. Whatever the price, buy it! Then, two years from now, auction it off and send the proceeds to charity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gracQf60D…
(For the record, I think drugs should be decriminalized in the same way as alcohol, although that belief is an outgrowth of the work I did in drug detection years back, so....)
Seriously, please remove your shoes and walk through the metal detector, next person please.
The worst they could do is disallow it with a wistful shrug, right?
Love your column and your blog.
(I feel the need to clarify that this comment is meant to be humorous as opposed to sarcastic. Just cause this is Slog.)
It happens. A drug dog giving a positive is all it takes to get a warrant to search your belongs. One grumpy guard and Dan (and DJ and Terry's) life gets a lot more complicated.
That said, it seems like @5 has a point...
Can Dan afford to spend a year in a federal prison? Can he afford to get himself on the no-fly list? Do not underestimate the extent of the Constitution-free powers of the TSA.
If it weren't for being too young, I'd swear the character of Travis Coates - the book version - was patterned after Mr Savage. Remember old Walt wanted Travis to be sympathetic in the movie so he doesn't shoot Old Yeller until the dog actually develops rabies. In the book, Travis is a cold hearted shit (ok his mother really egged it on) who shoots Old Yeller during what would be the incubation period, without knowing if the dog was
really going to develop rabies.
In fairness I'm not a dog fan, either, but I did feel a great deal of sympathy for Old Yeller, especially given all he did for that family and the way they repaid his loyalty and servitude. He should have bitten each and every one of them.
Seriously, dude, use the private first class bathroom for that stuff.
And that silver cat thing is TACK-ee. Looks like it belongs on a black velvet throw under a spotlight in front of someone's big round platform bed, in a room with red velour walls.
Dan, please don't fly with human organs in your bag. They're supposed to be in Styrofoam containers.
When I read that the first time through I read for 20% of its $5,495 asking price, and I thought that sounded more reasonable...
I still wouldn't pay it, but if you'd like to make a gift of it for me, I would proudly display it on my mantle.
So we can call this progress of a sort.
http://www.sweatersvscats.com
I own one of the original ceramic type, circa 1950's/early '60's myself, as I do dwell in such a home. It wouldn't be complete without it. Mine is a tasteful black, but I've passed on some impressive pink or chartreuse ones at thrift stores.
Seriously- run screaming from the room. Only a nincompoop would pay that price for such a thing...geez.
I know that Westin is very unreasonable when it comes to calls, but don't you like the beds, and rolling out of them to get to the next plane? The only problem with that place is that, while the outside walls are thick enough to keep out the plane noise, the inside walls are not thick enough to keep out the layover (so to speak) noise.
Did I ever tell the story of the time I flew back from Peru, was stopped and thoroughly-searched by customs, and passed through without incident (when I maybe shouldn't have been)? THAT was weird; it did not make me hopeful about our ability to intercept people with bombs.
Then there was that time I was flying home from Austin two years ago and had completely forgotten that my multi-tool (with a very sharp, 4-inch ceramic-composite blade) was in my backpack... and nothing happened. People get stopped for nail clippers and 6-ounce bottles of shampoo, and I walk through with an honest-to-goodness knife? I mean, I guess I don't look all that "terrorist-y", but still... I'm actually amazed we ever stop anyone who wants to blow a plane up or hijack it.
I DO miss the good old days before 9/11/2001, when we could bring our own bottles of water and such onto planes and walk through airport security wearing shoes. Our children will never believe our crazy stories about a free and open society where everyone didn't constantly need to carry a passport or birth certificate to avoid deportation and air travel wasn't like signing up for a six-hour stint in prison. I wish there was somewhere I could go to hear a bunch of people telling me things get better...
> airplane and when I get off.
Damn, I cross myself when I get off, too! And sometimes I also yell "thank you Jesus." Occasionally a sex partner will ask what I'm doing but I just say its something I learned in Catholic school :)
> airplane and when I get off.
Damn, I cross myself when I get off, too! And sometimes I also yell "thank you Jesus." Occasionally a sex partner will ask what I'm doing but I just say its something I learned in Catholic school :)
I was also raised catholic, turned agnostic in my teens. But I do still cross myself when someone dies.
Greeting card that I saw and thought of sending to Dan if it weren't so weird and stalkerish:
"Yelling "Oh God!" in bed on Sunday morning is not the same as going to church."
(written on the message board outside of a church.)
Arm yourself with knowlege