Comments

1
The drunk guy dressed as the purple Teletubby running up and down my street yelling, "Look at me I'm a fagggggggot!" at 1am. Wait, I guess that was Saturday night, so he was just a dick.

To counteract any tales of dickish, older kids, I'd also like to respectfully submit the time my high school drama class dressed up & went out as the entire cast of Phantom of the Opera, including the chandelier. I think they were also collecting canned food for charity, too, so even less dickish.
2
My rule of thumb is if they are taller than me, they're probably to old to be trick or treating.
3
I kick every trick-or-treater in the head for good measure.
4
Caitlin is such a slut.
5
Several parents were trick or treating with just their infants.
The kids never left their strollers and apparently were dressed up as... babies.

The infants sure weren't going to be eating the candy so I guess the parents just wanted some snacks.

6
halloween in the u district is always a treat! on saturday i saw a girl dressed as a ballerina with no shoes on scream at her boyfriend while also pulling her leotard out from between her butt cheeks.
7
One group of dressed up teens came to my door last night- all in costume. When I opened the door, the boy in front said in an overly polite manner, "May we please have some candy." He made me laugh. I gladly gave them their treats. I haven't had any problems with teenage trick-or-treaters. I could do without the parents who use their babies to score treats, though.
8
Gorilla guy sounds hilarious! At least he made an effort...and it's good for for an old person like you to raise their heart rate now and then, right?
9
Given that Halloween IS THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER, I'm happy to give out treats to anyone and everyone.

Still - we left the bowl on the porch around 9pm, and my daughter watched a couple teens completely clean it out. Oh well, whatever, we didn't want the leftover candy sitting in our house anyway.
10
I had a guy with a mustache, that was 35-40 dressed up and trick-or-treating with a couple of kids. I told him he looked a little old to be trick-or-treating and he laughed and as an afterthought said it was for his grandkid...yeah, right!

We typically have kids with suitcases on wheels and parents with babies that come to our door, but the older guy takes the cake!
11
We got no one for AGES. I thought that was kind of surprising, no trick or treaters at all.

around 900pm we turned off the porch light and proceded to have sex on the couch. round about the middle of it, some people knocked on the door. perhaps the moaning made them think that a haunted house tape was playing but dear god. What about the children????

10 minutes or so later, more knocking.

the good news is: unexpected Sunday night sex and we have a giant bowl of candy leftovers as a plus
12
When I was twelve I knew it was time to quit. I did.
13
Weren't you just bitching about the lack of feces in your pants in the column?
14
I don't care what people do! I'm gonna give out candy to anyone with balls enough to say "Trick or Treat!"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
15
Most of you haven't lived with a cranky old indian woman

My grandma made me go out until my mid-teens. Talk about hunting and gathering.
16
I take all the kids that come to our door and chain them up down in the basement, where they are put to work making Mardi Gras beads for sale in my Etsy shop.
17
@16 he's not joking. He actually does that.
18
The kids were too busy pillaging the stores on the shopping avenues in my neighborhood, where the merchants seem to accommodate them. Too busy to bother with the residential streets this year, so we'll be stuck eating the candy I bought, ourselves. Luckily, it's all good stuff. Mmmm... chocolate!

19
@16 & 17

I'd buy some, but only if you can guarantee that they were made of tears!
20
We live on a street with at least a dozen appropriately-aged kids, and we only got seven kids at the door. My favorite was the tiny winged unicorn with pink coke-bottle glasses. I spent like twelve bucks on candy and now we just have a shitload of candy.

On the other hand, my dad, now that my brother and I are out of the house, buys almost 200 full-size candy bars every Halloween and gives them out at Halloween. My parents got (mom counted) 138 individual visitors, not including the neighborhood teenagers who came by on Saturday night and explained that they had a party to attend on Sunday. Dad gave them candy, too.

A friend in Moses Lake said that the city officially moved all H'ween celebrations to Saturday and Saturday night this year so they wouldn't interfere with church activities on Sunday. She got a ton of trick-or-treaters on Saturday and about a half-dozen confused kids on Sunday. She can't wait to leave that shithole.
21
@20, when I was a kid we WORSHIPPED the full-size candy bar people.

Trick-or-treating on any night other than October 31st should be against the law.
22
I've got a halloween-loving capitol hill neighbor who solved the non-costumed teenager problem: garlic. He chats them up while slipping a clove of stanky cured garlic into their bag, adulterating all their ill-gained loot. Lots of candy for the awesome kiddies, garlic for the older douchebags who can't even dress up or speak. (Some of the houses around Aloha and 17th/18th are getting 1,500 plus visitors on the big night)
23
"My rule of thumb is if they are taller than me, they're probably to old to be trick or treating."

No good for me; I'm about the size of a 5th grader.

I did get one adult who was dressed normally, had a hunk of plastic cheese and said, "I'm the big cheese." I told her I didn't understand and she asked if I would shared my candy.

I said no.
24
I remember when I met a classmate of my son when he was in 6th grade.

He was taller than me and built like a linebacker, but had NOT been held back at school.

In Denmark, the average young adult is between 6'0" and 6'2" nowadays.

I also know many adult women who are far shorter than 5'0" - being sizeist doesn't mean you're correct in your assumptions.
25
EVERYBODY gets candy. Everybody. I don't care how young or old or teen or dweeb you are. They can come in a stroller or wearing depends, but I don't need to know about the depends. Show up at my house in your wheelchair without your good dentures and I'll give you a pack of gummi worms.
26
I last trick-or-treated in my junior or senior year of high school. I was with friends, and our MO was like so:
My friends stand on the stoop or porch, while I take up a position flat against the wall just to the side of the door. Someone rings the bell. When the homeowner answers, we all shout "Trick or Treat!" and I reach out and hold a plastic dagger under their nose.
Made quite a few homeowners jump. Good times...
27
My mom was always the best at handling the teens. No costume, no treat was her rule, though sometimes she gave them one after shaming them a bit.
My last trick-or-treat was at 18 with a petite Vietnamese friend and her 20-something brothers. No one gave any of them any guff, but a few uptight ladies refused to give me candy, even though I was fully costumed and polite. I would love it if the tradition included adults or at least young adults trick-or-treating, but oh well.
I'm sick of people freaking out about the mischief. There's one day a year, one, where we're suppose to allow young folks a little harmless mischief- a little TP or shaving cream, usually thrown at each other- and free candy, and people are limiting trick or treat to daylight hours or legislating how old you can be or making no costumes in schools rule, it's puritan nonsense, let the kids have their day, we expect so much of them the rest of the year.
28
I come from a family that is tall, so I always found it extremely in bad taste when, as a kid, trick-or-treating and some adult would say, "don't you think you're a bit too old to be trick-or-treating." Nice, trying to embarass someone that simply is out to enjoy the holiday.

Since I find that to be extremely rude, I give candy to anyone and everyone that shows up. I say, fuck the sour pusses.
29
I was shocked by how many kids were being driven around my neighborhood by their parents. They'd literally get out of the car, walk to my door, walk back to the car, drive a few yards to the next house, and repeat. Weird.
30
Full size candy bars? I can beat that. Growing up, we lived down a long road in a vacation community. There were some retirees that stayed there year-round, but we were the only year-round family with kids. Although they could have driven us to a nearby apartment complex where we would've filled up our bags in minutes, my parents said that we we would be letting our neighbors down and wouldn't enjoy the candy as much because we hadn't earned it.

We had serious costumes that involved a lot of brainstorming, boxes, old clothes, and duct-tape (my mom made costumes two times, but most years it was up to us to make them). We would have been embarrassed to go out with just a streak of fake blood! We would walk the whole 2-mile road, and stop at any houses with lights - usually about 1 out of 5. Although we might only get to ten homes, it could take hours, because the seniors expected us to updated them on school and pose for pictures. The Higgins would prepare an entire gift bag just for us, with different gifts each year. In third grade it included a Snoopy watch, which made me feel very grown up. Mr. Hankla had been an international yo-yo champion and would put on a show. Mrs. Breslaur gave us handmade crafts and toys along with the candy. These friendships were useful the rest of the year - I had a whole road of surrogate grandparents to bandage my scrapes when I fell on my bike, and to buy stuff during school fundraisers. Years later, Mr. Rice helped me get a college scholarship from his Elks Lodge.

I was very tall for a girl - 5'10" by the age of 11 - but no one ever said anything about me being too old to trick-or-treat. I eventually stopped going when I was in eleventh grade, when I started dressing up for parties instead.

Looking back, I think it's cool that my parents managed to make the most kid- and candy-centric holiday also a lesson about the value being neighborly. Now, I'm thirty and can't help being disappointed by the trick-or-treaters who put in minimal effort. I happily give handfuls of candies to folks of any age who've got good costumes. Or at least they have to say something when I ask them about their costume - this year I emptied my bowl for a group of uncostumed teenagers that came by late, because they claimed to be dressed as a hip-hop group, and sang and danced to prove it. But if they don't have costumes, AND they and their parents won't answer when I ask about the costumes, then I admit it - I'm stingy and give just one candy each.

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