Comments

1
yawn. im sooooo hot.

2
"3. Does the fact that we're both super hot affect the ethics of it?"

No, but your narcissistic assholery might...

3
I've had sex in a number of libraries. Go during off hours, way back in the quiet part of the stacks, you can usually hear people coming. Dress for easy access.

Now she seems to be into crowds, and I don't know how to make that work.
4
Pack a picnic and pick an isolated part of a park near some bushes. Outside in the sunshine is a great way to have sex. Take it from me. Bring a blanket and sneak a fuck and thanks for making me drool all over my keyboard.
5
Oh, one thing that does work around crowds is thinking about lighting. People in well lit areas can not see what happens back in the shadows.
6
I'd suggest getting a free Adult Friend Finder account and a webcam, and put on a show. Hide your faces and see if she is into it.

Certainly won't lead to any arrests.

7
I also have this turn on, I think part of why it is a turn on is the thrill of maybe getting caught, the thrill of getting away with something and a mild exhibitionist streak. Basically all three of these can elevate your adrenalin.

I got caught once but it wasn't a big deal. It was an older man walking his dog and he just kinda grinned and left us to it. I did apologize to him though.

I'm more into outdoor public sex, big fan of rooftops. Part of the fun for me is finding an awesome place to do it. So explore and consider how not to get caught.
8
Would that dressing "for easy access" involve any fleece or other moisture resistant apparel, #3?

(sorry--couldn't resist)
10
Oooh Vince, thanks! You reminded me I once had this incredibly hot boyfriend who loved to have sex while we were hiking. It was GREAT, once we figured out how to work around the boots.
11
@7- Yes!! Rooftops are the best!! It is especially fun to look down on a busy street if you can (but be careful!)
12
I'd write something, but that "super hot" comment made me sick to my stomach.
13
I'd suggest she wears a vibrator and he operates the remote. That can get her off in public without anyone noticing.
14
Oh man I almost spit coffee all over my monitor after reading the letter, clicking "Continue Reading," and immediately seeing PUOBHLICA. Well done.
15
She's turned on by this because it's exciting. Duh. You get a rush of adrenaline thinking you might get caught.
16
Out hiking sex is one of life's joys. Don't have a blanket? Lean up against a tree. If you're coordinated and flexible, up in a tree works as well. And, I'll second easy access clothes, but make sure they don't chafe and zippers don't stick first.

Ps. "Super hot" is in the eye of the beholder, sugar. Never forget that.
17
Pools can be fun too but I'd be real careful if she's particularly prone to UTIs.
18
Sounds like you pressed a vanilla, 19 year-old girl for her "fantasies", and rather than actually telling you, she came up with this shit.
19
@13 Exactly.
21
Hiking and rooftops are great if that's your bag but that stuff is for hippy nature earthy weirdos who want to commune with mother earth they join their shakras not urban hipster raver weirdos who want to secretly fuck in the same room as a bunch of squares going about their daily business like these kids. Both fine kinks but quite different.

I know this is vanilla but if you want to start slow you could try to find a drive-in theater. Pretty hard to get caught, especially if you bring a blanket, and although it's not as exposed as a coffee shop or cafe, it is kind of fun to be around hundreds of people who are just there to watch Karate Kid while you are doing it. I know winter is upon us and drive-ins are harder to find than they used to be, but there are still some left less than an hour from NYC and I'm sure they exist close enough to other major cities also. Rent a Zip Car.
22
Reverse cowgirl.

I love having sex in public. Agree with @20 - it's easier than you think. Dress for easy access, yes, but also think about situations that require props. If there's a way to use a coat or blanket to cover up that always helps.
23
To find out if she's really really into this or just told you this to get her off your back, here are some suggestions:

1) Fondle her in public. Make her hand you her underwear. Then put your fingers inside her, while you sit in a booth at your favorite coffee store. For good measure, have her lick your fingers afterwards.

2) The next time, pull a dildo out of your messenger bag and hand it to her under the table. Ask her to slide it inside her. Bonus points if it vibrates and you can turn it on remotely, as suggested by @13.

3) Then move to discreet but public blowjobs and then sex, in secluded library stacks, public bathrooms, stairwells in hotels.

Tell her this is all to get you used to the idea. When a woman writes in for ideas on how to have her lover cum all over her face, we give her suggestions for easing into the practice. So similarly, tell her that she has a fairly extreme fantasy, and so she needs to work with you to ease into it.

After you've done 1, 2 and 3 numerous times, you will have much more knowledge about how you and she want to proceed with less discreet sex in a crowded place, and the possible positives and negatives of doing so.

24
@8- Yes. Functional, comfortable clothing happens to be very easy to get in and out of.

In fact, public sex fans might consider investing in the Utilikilt, since most men's garments are fairly constraining. I don't have one myself, they seem overpriced.
25
Also, be aware of security cams. The people around you may not really care what you're up to, but if it's captured on cam then it could easily be seen by tons of people as long as there's just one nice employee who feels like sharing. But super hot people like you might like getting a million views.
26
If I catch you two fucking in public, I'm going to stand right next to you and jack off. Not because you're so "hot," but just so you know what utter douche bags you are.
27
Why are people so reluctant to believe that this is really her kink? How bizarre. If we flip the genders--if this were a woman writing in about exploring her boyfriend's interest in public sex--I don't think so many people would doubt that this is really her kink.
28
20 and 19? Bored already? You're going to be scraping the bottom of the kink barrel by the time you get to my age. Why not just fuck?
29
@24: Ugh. The Utilikilt is an instantaneous libido killer.
30
Yes, hiking sex and all other kinds of outdoor sex are easy and fun. All you need to keep from getting caught is good hearing. Good balance and easy access clothing (dare I say - sweatpants) are useful.

Hand and blowjobs in restaurants and cars, movie theatres, airplanes - do you count those?

You could look for places where it's reasonably normal to be covered by blankets - folk festivals if it's cold out, that kind of thing. Way back when you could rearrange the seats in coach on the train, so that four seats could form a little alcove, and you'd stack your backpacks between to provide some support in the middle, it was pretty easy to have sex in full view of everyone walking by. They'd see you spooning, but think that you were just cuddling, as long as you were discreet and didn't move around much.

Pretty much anyplace with a waist high parapet where you are bit above other people - roofs, bridges, etc. It just looks like he's standing behind you.

And then of course there is the quick duck into broom closets and elevators (holding the door closed button down with one hand)
31
@21, it's spelled chakra, and can you not call us weirdos? Thanks.
32
A few suggestions:

1. Most places outdoors, at night, are pretty safe. Make sure it's not too cold, though.
2. Wooded areas with a blanket work, or you can just lean her against a tree or bend her over a rock. If you have sex on the ground without a blanket, the dude should generally be on the bottom. Less horizontal motion/scraping.
3. What other posters have said about libraries. There are always sections no one ever visits except for fucking.
4. An easy way to ease into public sex is to have car sex-- in the middle of a full parking lot. There is realistically very little chance of being caught, a quick escape route should you be caught, and lots of people around.
5. Do not have sex in any business that you would like to frequent again.
6. Obviously she should wear easy-access clothing, but you should too. Sweats or track pants avoid the need for belts and zippers.

33
I've always considered myself strictly non adventurous sexually, but I'm a little astonished at how much public sex I've had, once I start thinking about it. Somebody above referred to it as extreme - not really, surely?
34
@29 I don't think it's so much the kilt itself as the guys who usually wear them.
35
@23 - why does he have to "make" her do this and "have" her do that? Why blow jobs and not his tongue? This is her kink, not his. It should be about her.
36
Maybe it's just me, but I thought this was actually a really common fantasy, so I don't know why so many people are questioning it. Doesn't just about everyone have a "weirdest public place I've ever had sex" story or two? I know my friends do.

Anyway, as others have suggested, try public parks and the like - I suggest she wears some kind of long, loose-ish skirt and no-one has to know she's not wearing underwear when she sits on you. Then of course there's the old bathroom, showers and change room failsafe. If you want to be more public than that, I suggest you both reframe your expectations to penetration/fondling with hands, it's going to be a lot easier. Of course, you never know, if you keep an eye out, you will probably get opportunities for something more.

Yeah, you'll probably get caught eventually if you do it enough, I think the key is to try to be subtle about it so people aren't 100% sure that is what you're doing, and not to be assholes about it when you do (i.e. stop and leave when you get caught). If you continue to do it in the same place after you get caught, someone is going to get pissed off enough to call the cops.
37
Cars in parking lots, public parks, darkened nightclubs, hiking trails...all fond memories. Wish I still had access to a nice rooftop. Oh, don't forget to fuck like bunnies on your boss' desk. That's the best.

I would stay away from normal eateries and coffee shops, and any place that has children around. The owners would probably not appreciate any messes or smells, and would likely call the cops.
38
As an aside, I'm reminded of a girlfriend who picked me up at the airport wearing a somewhat short dress and no underwear. She didn't even say anything when she met me at the gate; she let me figure it out while we were enthusiastically kissing hello. Needless to say, we didn't make it to the car.

The sad thing about that story is that it is now impossible to meet anyone at the gate, and I just don't see that kind of raw horniness playing out in the baggage claim area. Fucking terrorists.
39
@33: I know, right? I've always considered myself pretty vanilla, and I've had lots of public sex. Is this a lot rarer than I realized? Have I secretly been kinky all this time? :)
40
If you're at college, find out which places are fairly deserted at specific times. Stacks in the library work, or smaller buildings that not many people have access to. My husband and I *really* enjoyed our large college nature center, and there were plenty of places off the path where you could spot people walking the trails with little/no risk of them spotting you.

The remote vibrator option seems like a logical baby step though. Or, if you guys are into anal play, wearing a buttplug during a trip to the store or something.
41
One question I have is what constitutes public sex? I would say sex, where people can see you, but not know or realize what's going on. But in looking over the answers & discussions, it seems like anything that's not inside your bedroom can constitute "public sex".

And the bit about the ethics since they're hot... *facepalm*
42
there was a girl where I went to technical school who's been known to wear sweatpants with a hole cut in it to "Discreetly" have sex with her boyfriends while looking like she's fully clothed.

discreetly in quotations since it didn't fool anyone, especially not teachers who been in charge of horny teenagers and young adults for over ten years.
43
I'm callin' the cops.
44
I call BS. We're super hot? This sounds like a fake penthouse letter to me. Also, if it is real, then this guy is pressuring her too much. His version of GGG sounds more like code for controlling, pushy, aggressive jerk to me. Just because she's fantasizing about it doesn't mean she really wants to do it. If he's trying to coax her too much then he's a creep. I once told a boyfriend that I had fantasized about maybe being with a woman and the next thing I know, he's trying to make it happen with some random girl at a bar. He should stop pressuring her and see what happens. I would bet money that she never mentions it again.
45
@14 I can't believe you're the only one to comment about Dan's use of the LW's acronym! Priceless!
46
@3 I see what you did there. "Coming" Very clever, sir.

Also there is always the two blanket trick. One for the ground, one for on top of you while you "snuggle" in the park. Works best in the spooning position.
47
I once saw a couple going at it, buck naked in daytime, right on the green slope next to the expressway. I thought they were brilliant, since it's almost impossible for people to stop or even slow down to bother them, and even if kids see them, they wouldn't understand what's going on.
48
I have learned SO much.
49
Wireless vibrating panties?

Or are there hiking trails in your area with secluded spots? Go for a picnic in a quiet hiking area, on a windy winter day. Cover both of you with a blanket (to keep the wind out). Give each other hand jobs under the blanket.

Or, on independance day, drive to where the fireworks are. Insteading of going to see the fireworks, stay in the car and give each other hand jobs. You'll be in public, but there won't be many people in the parking lot area, because nobody will want to miss the show.

50
Girls who do it outdoors are about 100 times more likely to be doing it with someone else as well.

I'd say this guy shouldn't travel on the open roads too much when alone or he'll get a dose of his own medicine.
51
@35, you're totally correct, sir. I started thinking about the question Dan was asking us to address, my mind began to wander, and damn if my own submissive fantasies didn't sneak into my post.

That said (and addressing 27 here), if she really wanted public sex, I think they'd be having some version of it already, and he would have included those details in his letter. Actually, thinking about this, I'm siding with 44 who thinks this is fake. Where's the paragraph where he talks about the ways they've found to make out in public? I find it hard to believe there's a girl out there who wants to jump straight to public intercourse in a crowded place, skipping all the things that are easy to do, and fun, if you like the adrenaline rush of maybe freaking someone out.



52
Sex in public is hot to me because it's excellent that you and your partner can lose yourself in each other that much. If we're just having sex in the bedroom, that implies to me that we're lacking great chemistry.
53
@47 I can't stop laughing!
54
@28:

Who said anyone was bored? Us kinky people have our kinks because they turn us on, like Dan says, not because we're bored without them. Age has nothing to do with it.
55
23 and 36 offer some great, practical advice.
56
25 is spot on. In an age of interlocking security cameras in most public places -- and, worse, where everybody has a video camera in their phone -- it can be on the net before you're even home.

As yourself: "is an orgasm worth the price that every single person who will interview me for the next fifteen years knows the stupid face that I make when I come?"

57
Brilliant comments for a dull and illness-plagued day at work. Thanks everyone!

58
I've seen at least several collections of security cams catching all kinds of public sex put together. Just try googling up "sex caught on security cam"...
59
Just like to point out that I'm a media professional who focuses on small suburban towns where not much happens in a given day. If it's a choice between 'grandmas knit quilts for our boys in afghanistan' and 'police report with two barely legal hotties fucking in a starbucks,' I am splashing both your mugs above the fold on A1. Make it pretty hard to buy groceries or go over her house without her dad polishing his shotguns. Something to keep in mind.
60
Places I have done it include: blowjob in tall pickup truck while he was driving, sex in bed of same pickup while parked and at night (under a blanket), underneath a freeway overpass, wrapped in a sheet (but the truckers still knew what we were up to and honked), in the lake, (pretending to just be hugging and swaying with the waves), rooftop (always good), workplace parking lot (but in a far back location, tinted windows, etc.), multiple regular small one-seater public bathrooms, church parking lot (note: do not park next to someone with child seats - parents of babies are much more likely to need to get into the car before the service is over), and, of course, once you both turn 21, any fun house party where exhibitionism is tolerated.
61
If I'm correct, it seems like a lot of posters have missed her kink. She wants you to fuck her in public, but she doesn't want anyone to know for sure that you're fucking her in public. Her excitement comes from the knowledge that she's getting her cunt filled by you in view of other people, but they don't know it , or at least they don't know for sure. Am I correct?

Although at 20 & 19 you probably don't stay in a lot of hotel rooms, but if you do get the chance you might try bending her over the balcony and entering her from behind. If she wears a skirt you can just raise it enough so that while your cock is protruding from your fly you can slide it in. If this really is her kink she'll be soaking wet for you. You don' have to pound her, you can just stand behind her with your cock in her twat and act as if you are both admiring the view. To the passersby or other hotel guests, they might wonder "does that guy have his cock in her pussy, or are they just looking at the view?"

Make sure to make eye contact and smile at the neighbors and those passing by while the two of you are content in knowing that your cock in firmly inside her wet cunt. You'll both get off on the fact that the voyeurs are watching and thinking "are they fucking or do I just have a dirty mind?"
62
Parking lots, NOT INSIDE THE CAR! She's leaned up against the car and you stand directly in front of her. Approaching civilians will think you're passionatly making out but you can have MUCH more going on. A hotter variation on Up Against Side of Car is she can wear a trench coat or wrap dress with nothing on underneath. Best done at night, but more challenging during the day.

I've had a lot of public sex, too. At first, I didn't feel the urge to do so was a kink, but now I understand moreso that it really is. I just like being able to get away with it, to see a famous landmark in a postcard and grin to myself about the memories I made there. Seriously! I dig getting it on in public...

63
@ 24 I just happen to own a utilikilt and I love it to death. They are spendy for sure, but they are hand made locally with quality materials and will last forever. And as a bonus, they look good with fleece!
@ 29 Wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong. But as thecheesegirl at 34 points out it can depend on the gentleman wearing the kilt. Also: Always with boots. NEVER with Tevas or sneakers.
64
This is why I love the Slog. So much practical advice! Why it's better than the Ladies Home Journal.
65
I agree this is a very common fantasy and hardly worthy of a letter, except I also think the letter writer is someone with the emotional maturity of a 13 y.o., if he is not a 13 y.o. outright. Seriously, who writes "Does the fact that we're both super hot affect the ethics of it?"?
66
"And being straight really helps—gay people tend to get in a lot more trouble when we get caught engaging in public sex. Sometimes we even get shot and killed.)"

Very classy response, Dan. I would have just said "you two are exhibit A in heterosexual depravity. Don't come whining to the ACLU when you get caught."
67
Climb a tree and do it up there. People seldom look up. My man and I climbed many trees in our early 'honeymoon' phase. Sigh.
68
Dan:

"2. It's only unethical if you get caught."

Whoa. It's goddamned rude. It might not be a big trauma to see a couple people boinking, but regardless of ethics, it's just shitty, piss-poor manners to fuck in front of an unsuspecting public.

There's also the concern of having intimate fluids possibly smeared on surfaces that other people come (!) into contact with, and of course not knowing what else might have contacted those same surfaces before you rubbed your goodies on them.
69
@50 - that's total bullshit. grow up.
70
"3. Does the fact that we're both super hot affect the ethics of it?"

Pics are required to prove it at this point. Particularly naked having sex.
71
I do get the thrill not of being seen but of trying *not* to be seen. But I would add that they should proceed carefully. Raves where half the crowd is on E may be relatively safe. Choosing a venue where *if* they are caught, the witnesses might be into it is safer. Because while some jurisdictions like SF allow for non-sexual public nudity, actual public sex is considered a sex crime that not only could result in criminal sanctions and even sex offender registration.

Or if it's about being seen, try a sex club (they exist for straight couples), the Folsom Street Fair, or invite people over to watch and film.

Also, to the point that people suggest she made up the fantasy so he'd stop badgering her ... if she's that young, maybe she doesn't know what she's into yet. Experiment and see what you both do and do not like.
72
I just want to say that all these comments made this letter worthwhile (despite the horrible mix of bold and regular fonts in the acronym). I wish i could have public sex with all of you!
73
@63- Fnarf just plotzed.
74
@50: Ah Supreme, I was wondering when you'd lob a baseless, judgmental assertion about others' behavior. Well played!

Ethics: Yes, you are involving other people in your sex life without their consent. That said, this is about the most-mild form of sexual assault possible, though not everyone will necessarily respond to it mildly (parents, people uncomfortable around sexuality, people who don't want to be involved in your sex life) if they figure it out. I personally would call the police, because, although I wouldn't be traumatized or the like, I really don't want to be part of your sex life, I think you're an asshole for dragging me in to your sex life without my consent, and it's illegal, so I have the recourse of calling the police. Or maybe I'd just dump some really cold water on you to watch the hilarity of you trying to disengage without further giving-away what you were doing. To do public sex ethically, find a group that self-selects for watching you, like with the webcam suggestion. That's one of those fantasies, like a rape fantasy, that just cannot be acted out 100% for real in a completely ethical fashion.
75
Apartment complex pools at night are fun. We got caught, but everybody just pretended nothing was going on. My favorite was in the front seat of a car at a parking meeting during morning rush hour- we had just left a late night bar. She was straddling me and nobody stopped or honked. She was really turned on by it.
76
I've seen people doing it on the train in various cities (Tokyo, London, New York). Do it late night on a corner and most people will be tired/drunk/don't care and will ignore you. On a very crowded train = handjob or you can finger her.

I'd highly suggest avoiding most places though. An indecent exposure charge is the last thing you need on your record, especially as you're young enough to be eventually looking for a career-starting job and most employers will want to know about your criminal history.
77
@67 that hadn't occurred to me. Kudos to your dexterity, but I think ants/spiders/etc, splinters, and the risk of falling out of the tree (I'm a klutz) will keep me on the ground....
78
@69: Pay no never mind to Supreme Ruler. His hyperbolic screen name is kind of a give away as to his need for attention. He's like an hyperactive toddler at a grown up cocktail party.
@73: I try to do my best.
79
Hey,
this is PUOBHLICA

Why are people getting mad at me/saying i'm immature for saying that me and my girlfriend are really good-looking? I didn't say that we were more good-looking than anyone else. I didn't say that I'm so hot and people hit on us all the time. I just think that we're attractive, and yes opinions differ but overall we fit the lean, young, and well-groomed cultural stereotypes for sexiness.

And furthermore, I think it was relevant to my question. Not everyone in our society has equal privileges in common areas, as Dan pointed out by saying that this behavior would be riskier for gay men. Likewise, this activity might be riskier (not to mention more difficult logistically I would assume) if we were fat and unnattractive compared to cultural norms.

And finally, I hope that you all consider yourselves to be "super hot", whether or not society does. There is so much scrutiny put on our bodies and telling us we need to buy this we need to buy that and you aren't hot enough. I hear so much self-hate that, when I hear someone call themselves super hot, I usually say "good for you" and not "how dare you call yourself attractive".

Thanks for the solid advice Dan and some commentators I should definetly try and take this slow instead of sticking it right in. for those who asked, I have pulled her boobs out and fondled them while we are high on E at shows several times and she likes it when she thinks no one around notices but gets shy when people notice so yes i think that the people around us being unaware is part of the kink

-PUOBHLICA
80
@50 - don't make this about you. This guy's girl is not the same girl who broke your (implied?) monogamy pledge, and one young woman who fantasizes about public sex isn't representative of all of them.

I like @23's advice. If she's willing to go through with it, start slow. If she's not, it's a good sign she's just bluffing or unable to go through with the fantasy. But if the latter's the case, it could make for some fun role-play. Pretending's not the same thing, but if she gets shy about going through with it, it could be a fun game at home.
81
@79 - actually, people would be likelier to ignore you if you were fat and/or ugly. Hot will probably get you more attention and/or attempts to join in. But either way, what does that have to do with the ethics rather than the aesthetics/practicalities/likely reactions?
82
haha I was gonna say try a hippie music festival- lots of people around, and if you do get caught, no one will give a fuck (but they might want to join)
83
You might try the wooded areas in your local city park. Golden Gate park is good Also, if you want to try public bathrooms, follow her into the ladies, not the gents restroom, cops don't usually check women's rooms for public sex.

Plus, there are times when public areas are deserted, especially holidays. I once had sex with my girlfriend on the grass outside the Art building of my local community college, but it was the 4th of July. We were both totally naked, and the few cars that drove past mostly just honked and hooted at us.

Also, if there's a Pride parade or celebration, those are filled with tolerant people. One year at the Folsom Street Fair in SF, I wound up walking around fully dressed with about six guys cum on my face. Yes, the pics are probably on the Internet, which is something you might be concerned about.

Have fun!
84
PUOBHLICA
I'm 24, and while I don't have the whole 'people looking at me?' fetish, I do have a 'weird and exotic place where we might be stumbled upon' one. My advice:
If you're fucking in a semi-exposed place, don't jackhammer her. The bouncing draws eyes, and if people are looking and trying to figure out if you're just making out vs. actually screwing, the pounding gives it away. Slow, and uneven is key to fooling people.

Barns. If there is one near you, use it.

Ravines. Same as above.

You know how some businesses stack milk crates out back? Use them to climb low roofs of one story shops.

Accessible toilets. Be quiet, and avoid looking guilty coming out. If anyone asks, say you had her jeans split, and you were helping her safety pin them together, or she was sick or something. If she leaves first, and you knock on the door saying 'is everything all right in there?' before entering. Even if they don't believe you, they can't disprove you either.

Halloween/parties/raves where you can wear masks/goggles/facepaint/quickly change clothes. In the time it takes someone to call a security guard/the host/the police, you can be in a completely new costume, as long as no one notices you right away. Oh, and everyone is already fucking at raves, so don't worry about it.
85
@ 50 - Not cool.

@ 74 - The water scenerio would be hilarious but why call the police? I fully agree that it's asshole behaviour if someone directly exposes you to their sex life but the girl's fantasy is slightly different than that. Think of the difference between a dicreet handjob at the back of a movie theatre and a dude sitting next to you whipping it out and loudly moaning. Both public sex acts, but so not the same.

The girl's fantasy reminded me of one of the first pieces of erotica I've read; American soldiers stationed somewhere (England I think) at the end of WW2, this girl meets the soldier who's about to go back home, they go to this dance, she's wearing one of those dresses with a fluffy skirt, she's sitting on his lap, seemingly innocent, all the while he's fingering her. I remember my 14 year old self being extremely turned on. After that I kept looking at American soldiers funny for a loong time.
86
Earliest public sex: During high school English class....while the class was watching Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet. We should have gotten an A+ just for that.

Hottest sex of my life was in a meadow on my college campus (Go Banana Slugs!). Lots of foot traffic on nearby paths but with the very tall grass we were hidden from view....or so I thought until I was on the top floor of the closest dorm building. Entire meadow - clear as day. Whoops.
87
Would your take on it being unethical only if your caught be the same for cheating, pedophilia? What's unethical is making that kind of decision/value judgment for someone else without their knowledge or concent. It's done all the time, but it still isn't right (i.e. gay sex is immoral)

These people are young and some one needs to explain to them some of the real life risks/downsides of getting caught having public sex. Terminal embrassment for themselves and their parents (particularly if the video goes viral on the web), getting fired from your job, getting kicked out of school, being banned from your favorite restaurant/coffee shop, losing your girlfriend/spouse/children, being convicted of a sex crime (depending on the jurisdiction)and having to register as sex offender, having to explain yourself to a prospective employer and/or losing future employment (Pee Wee Herman), for many it would be the end to any hope of a political career (it would be a judgment (or lack thereof) issue, physical violence possibliy resulting in death at the hands of a opportunist or your randon serial rapist/killer (it isn't as infrequent as one would hope)
88
The BF is probably putting way too much pressure on the GF. Depending on how inexperienced the 19 year old girl is, and in many ways she is probably still very much a girl, combined with any cultural or religious factors she may be not be comfortable with exploring kinky sex at this time. A fantasy may be one thing, making the fantasy real something else entirely. The BF says this is the first real relationship for both, but not how long they have been together. By pushing too hard and given his age (and inexperience)it is likely that he may making his GF uncomfortable and resentful. I personally would want to be comfortable in a relationship before exploring kink. In my experience girls take longer to reach that comfort level than boys and boys tend to be clumsy and unperceptive.
89
Erica P, very nicely done in your first post. That was far better than the original letter. Although a full sized dildo is difficult to discretely insert under a table.

PUOBHLICA does have a point. Consider your reaction to coming across a fit, attractive couple fucking in public: a smile, a bit of a thrill, a bit of envy. But our culture is superficial enough to not have the same reaction if the fuckers are fat and ugly. Which is a shame, because everyone should be out fucking in the open air--sexuality should not be about conventional standards of attractiveness. The real flaw with his statement was in how he worded it, but come on, he's 19-20 years old.

we have 2 kinks here: 1 is in getting away with what is perceived as abberant behavior, in this case fucking in public. The other is fucking in a crowded space with many potential witnesses. This little girl is not at all vanilla, just wait til she gets some confidence, she'll be fucking circles around all of us.
90
Do people still cuddle under blankets at football games? Just a thought.

Re: "super hot:" Kim's remark @16 is right on the money. You've all seen this, right? http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/3/… ("Sidewalk Interview Gone Bad" - NSFW)
91
Dan used to be against repressed Republican/gay/bi/guys looking for sex/ having sex in public. When Larry Craig got arrested for trying to have sex in an airport bathroom, Dan Savage agreed that Craig was wrong. Now he appears to have changed his mind. When straight people have sex in public it's in bad taste but I don't know if people get arrested for it or if the whole world just winks at it. In the state of Michigan, the state police get involved, they use cameras to document the acts at public rest areas and they arrest people at work (1986-present). I could live without seeing people having sex in public, the straight/bi/gay men at these public places are sometimes too aggressive...but the police also mistake men using these places for "legitimate" acts as looking for sex and harass them. To be honest, the police tend to grossly and hysterically overreact. Also the men get harassed, sometimes beaten and sometimes murdered. So this is the flip side to the "straight people looking public sex" question.
92
I like the rooftop idea.

I would suggest not trying to do it in the car at night in the parking lot of an office building or something. Many of those places have security guards, and since there aren't many other cars around you'll attract unwanted attention.
93
Geez, 79, just invite her to a swinger's club already. The other people won't bite, they know to ask before touching and they'll gladly "ignore" the two of you if you start making out (or more) in a semi-secluded area.
94
PUOBHLICA, the problem isn't what you said, it's the way you said it. If you said "I don't want to blow my own horn, but we're both pretty attractive - not overweight and good muscle tone, etc.", it wouldn't have made you sound so infuriatingly narcissistic. Self-confidence is good, but a little humility is good, too.
95
@27, Right on. Just because she's shy doesn't mean she'll always be that way... she's just a beginner. I went from being an 18-year-old college freshman who wouldn't do it with the lights on to, 6 months later, fucking in the library, on a rooftop, a balcony, in front of a window, in a canoe, on a beach. The "people not knowing" thing strikes such a cord... I remember a balcony across from my dorm, him behind me, arms around me, head on my shoulder kissing my neck... we looked from a bystander's POV as an extremely affectionate couple (get a room, you two), but no one knew he'd lifted my skirt and was super-slowly moving in and out of me. That's part of the game, not registering excitement, not making the noise, the faces you usually do in the heat of the moment. She might not even come... that's for later when they're back in the room. It's really about having done it in many cases. Either way, she's into it. Believe me. She wants exactly what she said she wants. To fuck publicly without people being aware that they are. Use your imagination, kid. Oh, btw, if you want som inspiration for fucking in public among other things, read Delta of Venus by Anais Nin.
96
btw, I highly recommend, if and when you do try this... long, very full skirts. A calf- to ankle-length circle skirt can hide a multitude of sins, figurative and literal, and they often have elastic waistbands, which would also make top access easier.

And, do try to keep things sanitary. Don't put your bare bits on any surface anyone else will be having to touch, either before or after you do the deed, much less during. And have some baby wipes or something 't hand in case any fluids do end up in the wrong place.
97
Ugh. You know how when you find out you've had food in your teeth, and wonder why no one told you? Well, the same thing applies to public screwing. You manage to make everyone around you uncomfortable and icked out, but people don't know what to do about it, and you clearly don't care how they might feel. And believe me, PUoBhLICa, I've done things that would curl your hair, backwards and hanging by my ankles. I'm no prude. I just have the manners and the grace not to involve others (hello, CONSENT!) in my sex life without their permission. And yes, seeing someone have sex in person, in public, is being involved, willing or not. I'm so disappointed in you, Dan, for breaking one of the only THREE rules of kink. Also, have you forgotten that semen/vaginal fluids are a fucking biohazard? Unless they're planning to matacide the surfaces their contaminated hands/asses/cunts/dicks are gonna inevitably touch, they're not only inconsiderate assholes, but vile health hazards. You like putting your fingers, expensive clothing, children's toys in strangers' fluids? Great. I personally do not, and my right to be in public without encountering such or being icked out trumps your right to get off. Get a fucking hotel room with a big ass window and fuck to your hearts' content. At least nobody who's not looking where they shouldn't be will get an eyeful, not to mention a spoonful. Get off your me-first trip and use your fucking brain. Geez.

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