and remember to be decent to everyoneall of the time.
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No, but your narcissistic assholery might...
Now she seems to be into crowds, and I don't know how to make that work.
Certainly won't lead to any arrests.
I got caught once but it wasn't a big deal. It was an older man walking his dog and he just kinda grinned and left us to it. I did apologize to him though.
I'm more into outdoor public sex, big fan of rooftops. Part of the fun for me is finding an awesome place to do it. So explore and consider how not to get caught.
Ps. "Super hot" is in the eye of the beholder, sugar. Never forget that.
I know this is vanilla but if you want to start slow you could try to find a drive-in theater. Pretty hard to get caught, especially if you bring a blanket, and although it's not as exposed as a coffee shop or cafe, it is kind of fun to be around hundreds of people who are just there to watch Karate Kid while you are doing it. I know winter is upon us and drive-ins are harder to find than they used to be, but there are still some left less than an hour from NYC and I'm sure they exist close enough to other major cities also. Rent a Zip Car.
I love having sex in public. Agree with @20 - it's easier than you think. Dress for easy access, yes, but also think about situations that require props. If there's a way to use a coat or blanket to cover up that always helps.
1) Fondle her in public. Make her hand you her underwear. Then put your fingers inside her, while you sit in a booth at your favorite coffee store. For good measure, have her lick your fingers afterwards.
2) The next time, pull a dildo out of your messenger bag and hand it to her under the table. Ask her to slide it inside her. Bonus points if it vibrates and you can turn it on remotely, as suggested by @13.
3) Then move to discreet but public blowjobs and then sex, in secluded library stacks, public bathrooms, stairwells in hotels.
Tell her this is all to get you used to the idea. When a woman writes in for ideas on how to have her lover cum all over her face, we give her suggestions for easing into the practice. So similarly, tell her that she has a fairly extreme fantasy, and so she needs to work with you to ease into it.
After you've done 1, 2 and 3 numerous times, you will have much more knowledge about how you and she want to proceed with less discreet sex in a crowded place, and the possible positives and negatives of doing so.
In fact, public sex fans might consider investing in the Utilikilt, since most men's garments are fairly constraining. I don't have one myself, they seem overpriced.
Hand and blowjobs in restaurants and cars, movie theatres, airplanes - do you count those?
You could look for places where it's reasonably normal to be covered by blankets - folk festivals if it's cold out, that kind of thing. Way back when you could rearrange the seats in coach on the train, so that four seats could form a little alcove, and you'd stack your backpacks between to provide some support in the middle, it was pretty easy to have sex in full view of everyone walking by. They'd see you spooning, but think that you were just cuddling, as long as you were discreet and didn't move around much.
Pretty much anyplace with a waist high parapet where you are bit above other people - roofs, bridges, etc. It just looks like he's standing behind you.
And then of course there is the quick duck into broom closets and elevators (holding the door closed button down with one hand)
1. Most places outdoors, at night, are pretty safe. Make sure it's not too cold, though.
2. Wooded areas with a blanket work, or you can just lean her against a tree or bend her over a rock. If you have sex on the ground without a blanket, the dude should generally be on the bottom. Less horizontal motion/scraping.
3. What other posters have said about libraries. There are always sections no one ever visits except for fucking.
4. An easy way to ease into public sex is to have car sex-- in the middle of a full parking lot. There is realistically very little chance of being caught, a quick escape route should you be caught, and lots of people around.
5. Do not have sex in any business that you would like to frequent again.
6. Obviously she should wear easy-access clothing, but you should too. Sweats or track pants avoid the need for belts and zippers.
Anyway, as others have suggested, try public parks and the like - I suggest she wears some kind of long, loose-ish skirt and no-one has to know she's not wearing underwear when she sits on you. Then of course there's the old bathroom, showers and change room failsafe. If you want to be more public than that, I suggest you both reframe your expectations to penetration/fondling with hands, it's going to be a lot easier. Of course, you never know, if you keep an eye out, you will probably get opportunities for something more.
Yeah, you'll probably get caught eventually if you do it enough, I think the key is to try to be subtle about it so people aren't 100% sure that is what you're doing, and not to be assholes about it when you do (i.e. stop and leave when you get caught). If you continue to do it in the same place after you get caught, someone is going to get pissed off enough to call the cops.
I would stay away from normal eateries and coffee shops, and any place that has children around. The owners would probably not appreciate any messes or smells, and would likely call the cops.
The sad thing about that story is that it is now impossible to meet anyone at the gate, and I just don't see that kind of raw horniness playing out in the baggage claim area. Fucking terrorists.
The remote vibrator option seems like a logical baby step though. Or, if you guys are into anal play, wearing a buttplug during a trip to the store or something.
And the bit about the ethics since they're hot... *facepalm*
discreetly in quotations since it didn't fool anyone, especially not teachers who been in charge of horny teenagers and young adults for over ten years.
Also there is always the two blanket trick. One for the ground, one for on top of you while you "snuggle" in the park. Works best in the spooning position.
Or are there hiking trails in your area with secluded spots? Go for a picnic in a quiet hiking area, on a windy winter day. Cover both of you with a blanket (to keep the wind out). Give each other hand jobs under the blanket.
Or, on independance day, drive to where the fireworks are. Insteading of going to see the fireworks, stay in the car and give each other hand jobs. You'll be in public, but there won't be many people in the parking lot area, because nobody will want to miss the show.
I'd say this guy shouldn't travel on the open roads too much when alone or he'll get a dose of his own medicine.
That said (and addressing 27 here), if she really wanted public sex, I think they'd be having some version of it already, and he would have included those details in his letter. Actually, thinking about this, I'm siding with 44 who thinks this is fake. Where's the paragraph where he talks about the ways they've found to make out in public? I find it hard to believe there's a girl out there who wants to jump straight to public intercourse in a crowded place, skipping all the things that are easy to do, and fun, if you like the adrenaline rush of maybe freaking someone out.
Who said anyone was bored? Us kinky people have our kinks because they turn us on, like Dan says, not because we're bored without them. Age has nothing to do with it.
As yourself: "is an orgasm worth the price that every single person who will interview me for the next fifteen years knows the stupid face that I make when I come?"
Although at 20 & 19 you probably don't stay in a lot of hotel rooms, but if you do get the chance you might try bending her over the balcony and entering her from behind. If she wears a skirt you can just raise it enough so that while your cock is protruding from your fly you can slide it in. If this really is her kink she'll be soaking wet for you. You don' have to pound her, you can just stand behind her with your cock in her twat and act as if you are both admiring the view. To the passersby or other hotel guests, they might wonder "does that guy have his cock in her pussy, or are they just looking at the view?"
Make sure to make eye contact and smile at the neighbors and those passing by while the two of you are content in knowing that your cock in firmly inside her wet cunt. You'll both get off on the fact that the voyeurs are watching and thinking "are they fucking or do I just have a dirty mind?"
I've had a lot of public sex, too. At first, I didn't feel the urge to do so was a kink, but now I understand moreso that it really is. I just like being able to get away with it, to see a famous landmark in a postcard and grin to myself about the memories I made there. Seriously! I dig getting it on in public...
@ 29 Wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong. But as thecheesegirl at 34 points out it can depend on the gentleman wearing the kilt. Also: Always with boots. NEVER with Tevas or sneakers.
Very classy response, Dan. I would have just said "you two are exhibit A in heterosexual depravity. Don't come whining to the ACLU when you get caught."
"2. It's only unethical if you get caught."
Whoa. It's goddamned rude. It might not be a big trauma to see a couple people boinking, but regardless of ethics, it's just shitty, piss-poor manners to fuck in front of an unsuspecting public.
There's also the concern of having intimate fluids possibly smeared on surfaces that other people come (!) into contact with, and of course not knowing what else might have contacted those same surfaces before you rubbed your goodies on them.
Pics are required to prove it at this point. Particularly naked having sex.
Or if it's about being seen, try a sex club (they exist for straight couples), the Folsom Street Fair, or invite people over to watch and film.
Also, to the point that people suggest she made up the fantasy so he'd stop badgering her ... if she's that young, maybe she doesn't know what she's into yet. Experiment and see what you both do and do not like.
Ethics: Yes, you are involving other people in your sex life without their consent. That said, this is about the most-mild form of sexual assault possible, though not everyone will necessarily respond to it mildly (parents, people uncomfortable around sexuality, people who don't want to be involved in your sex life) if they figure it out. I personally would call the police, because, although I wouldn't be traumatized or the like, I really don't want to be part of your sex life, I think you're an asshole for dragging me in to your sex life without my consent, and it's illegal, so I have the recourse of calling the police. Or maybe I'd just dump some really cold water on you to watch the hilarity of you trying to disengage without further giving-away what you were doing. To do public sex ethically, find a group that self-selects for watching you, like with the webcam suggestion. That's one of those fantasies, like a rape fantasy, that just cannot be acted out 100% for real in a completely ethical fashion.
I'd highly suggest avoiding most places though. An indecent exposure charge is the last thing you need on your record, especially as you're young enough to be eventually looking for a career-starting job and most employers will want to know about your criminal history.
@73: I try to do my best.
this is PUOBHLICA
Why are people getting mad at me/saying i'm immature for saying that me and my girlfriend are really good-looking? I didn't say that we were more good-looking than anyone else. I didn't say that I'm so hot and people hit on us all the time. I just think that we're attractive, and yes opinions differ but overall we fit the lean, young, and well-groomed cultural stereotypes for sexiness.
And furthermore, I think it was relevant to my question. Not everyone in our society has equal privileges in common areas, as Dan pointed out by saying that this behavior would be riskier for gay men. Likewise, this activity might be riskier (not to mention more difficult logistically I would assume) if we were fat and unnattractive compared to cultural norms.
And finally, I hope that you all consider yourselves to be "super hot", whether or not society does. There is so much scrutiny put on our bodies and telling us we need to buy this we need to buy that and you aren't hot enough. I hear so much self-hate that, when I hear someone call themselves super hot, I usually say "good for you" and not "how dare you call yourself attractive".
Thanks for the solid advice Dan and some commentators I should definetly try and take this slow instead of sticking it right in. for those who asked, I have pulled her boobs out and fondled them while we are high on E at shows several times and she likes it when she thinks no one around notices but gets shy when people notice so yes i think that the people around us being unaware is part of the kink
I like @23's advice. If she's willing to go through with it, start slow. If she's not, it's a good sign she's just bluffing or unable to go through with the fantasy. But if the latter's the case, it could make for some fun role-play. Pretending's not the same thing, but if she gets shy about going through with it, it could be a fun game at home.
Plus, there are times when public areas are deserted, especially holidays. I once had sex with my girlfriend on the grass outside the Art building of my local community college, but it was the 4th of July. We were both totally naked, and the few cars that drove past mostly just honked and hooted at us.
Also, if there's a Pride parade or celebration, those are filled with tolerant people. One year at the Folsom Street Fair in SF, I wound up walking around fully dressed with about six guys cum on my face. Yes, the pics are probably on the Internet, which is something you might be concerned about.
I'm 24, and while I don't have the whole 'people looking at me?' fetish, I do have a 'weird and exotic place where we might be stumbled upon' one. My advice:
If you're fucking in a semi-exposed place, don't jackhammer her. The bouncing draws eyes, and if people are looking and trying to figure out if you're just making out vs. actually screwing, the pounding gives it away. Slow, and uneven is key to fooling people.
Barns. If there is one near you, use it.
Ravines. Same as above.
You know how some businesses stack milk crates out back? Use them to climb low roofs of one story shops.
Accessible toilets. Be quiet, and avoid looking guilty coming out. If anyone asks, say you had her jeans split, and you were helping her safety pin them together, or she was sick or something. If she leaves first, and you knock on the door saying 'is everything all right in there?' before entering. Even if they don't believe you, they can't disprove you either.
Halloween/parties/raves where you can wear masks/goggles/facepaint/quickly change clothes. In the time it takes someone to call a security guard/the host/the police, you can be in a completely new costume, as long as no one notices you right away. Oh, and everyone is already fucking at raves, so don't worry about it.
@ 74 - The water scenerio would be hilarious but why call the police? I fully agree that it's asshole behaviour if someone directly exposes you to their sex life but the girl's fantasy is slightly different than that. Think of the difference between a dicreet handjob at the back of a movie theatre and a dude sitting next to you whipping it out and loudly moaning. Both public sex acts, but so not the same.
The girl's fantasy reminded me of one of the first pieces of erotica I've read; American soldiers stationed somewhere (England I think) at the end of WW2, this girl meets the soldier who's about to go back home, they go to this dance, she's wearing one of those dresses with a fluffy skirt, she's sitting on his lap, seemingly innocent, all the while he's fingering her. I remember my 14 year old self being extremely turned on. After that I kept looking at American soldiers funny for a loong time.
Hottest sex of my life was in a meadow on my college campus (Go Banana Slugs!). Lots of foot traffic on nearby paths but with the very tall grass we were hidden from view....or so I thought until I was on the top floor of the closest dorm building. Entire meadow - clear as day. Whoops.
These people are young and some one needs to explain to them some of the real life risks/downsides of getting caught having public sex. Terminal embrassment for themselves and their parents (particularly if the video goes viral on the web), getting fired from your job, getting kicked out of school, being banned from your favorite restaurant/coffee shop, losing your girlfriend/spouse/children, being convicted of a sex crime (depending on the jurisdiction)and having to register as sex offender, having to explain yourself to a prospective employer and/or losing future employment (Pee Wee Herman), for many it would be the end to any hope of a political career (it would be a judgment (or lack thereof) issue, physical violence possibliy resulting in death at the hands of a opportunist or your randon serial rapist/killer (it isn't as infrequent as one would hope)
PUOBHLICA does have a point. Consider your reaction to coming across a fit, attractive couple fucking in public: a smile, a bit of a thrill, a bit of envy. But our culture is superficial enough to not have the same reaction if the fuckers are fat and ugly. Which is a shame, because everyone should be out fucking in the open air--sexuality should not be about conventional standards of attractiveness. The real flaw with his statement was in how he worded it, but come on, he's 19-20 years old.
we have 2 kinks here: 1 is in getting away with what is perceived as abberant behavior, in this case fucking in public. The other is fucking in a crowded space with many potential witnesses. This little girl is not at all vanilla, just wait til she gets some confidence, she'll be fucking circles around all of us.
Re: "super hot:" Kim's remark @16 is right on the money. You've all seen this, right? http://www.break.com/usercontent/2007/3/… ("Sidewalk Interview Gone Bad" - NSFW)
I would suggest not trying to do it in the car at night in the parking lot of an office building or something. Many of those places have security guards, and since there aren't many other cars around you'll attract unwanted attention.
And, do try to keep things sanitary. Don't put your bare bits on any surface anyone else will be having to touch, either before or after you do the deed, much less during. And have some baby wipes or something 't hand in case any fluids do end up in the wrong place.