Your faithful readers in India, Ethiopia, and Mexico are taking your advice with a grain of salt. (And I am in so in love with the writer for the phrase "if you like obstacles in your food...")
Well, I have a strong theory that the situation is not what the food choices would indicate. I even have evidence for my belief. It's in "The Kid," so it must be true.
@ 25: The Situation is neither here nor there in this discussin', but Snooki and Bristol Palin now that's a whole 'nother can of peanuts... you betcha, guidette.
Dear LW: Your friend is an idiot. You are slightly less of an idiot (but still an idiot nonetheless) for taking it seriously enough to write in and ask about.
Have a nice day.
(Seriously, I think that app might be making it a little too easy to just whip off a letter to Dan without putting any thought into it.)
I always liked nuts, but have been allergic to both peanuts and tree nuts since high school, so my lack of eating them says more about wanting to avoid an allergic reaction than anything it might imply about the sexual positions I prefer.
I think Dan's response indicates that he doesn't totally understand the question. It seems to me that an S&M bottom would "like obstacles in his food", whereas an anal bottom should avoid the Mexican food. Not that there isn't overlap between the two types of bottoms.
Then again, I'm a bottom in the former sense, and I prefer brownies without nuts and creamy pb, and I don't like Mexican or Indian food, so make of that what you will.
Oh, and S&M bottoms definitely like to mix Skittles with M&Ms, and not just because of the letters. B^)
I'm a lady and prefer nutless brownies. Are we inherently bottoms? I dunno, but all I know is that sweets should be left alone to be sweets, and health nuts and potheads should stop trying to fuck with them.
One time in high school I told a room full of guys that I only eat "girl cookies," because I always choose cookies (or any dessert) with no nuts. None were as delighted as the guy who wore a bathrobe to school every day, who came up to me later and said, "So, I hear you only eat girl cookies, and I think that's awesome." Nicest thing he ever said to me. True story.
And I really want to promise that Android users will send you better questions when our app finally comes out, but based on some of the people I've played against on Wordfeud... I'd better just speak for myself.
@40: That may be so, but anyone who writes a letter to a sex columnist who is primarily a gay guy and secondarily a kinkster (we don't, after all, even know if Dan is himself into heavy BDSM) and uses the terms "bottom" and "top" without specifying what kind, deserves the misunderstanding.
Where the fuck do people come up with this stuff? Why?
Hey Dan, what do you think of this probably-untrue correlation that I just made up? People who like eating pussy like grapefruit juice, and people who don't, don't. See, pussy and grapefruit both have that acid tang, so it totally could be true. Or they could have nothing to do with each other. But I like both pussy and grapefruit juice, so I'll present it as a widely-believed fact!
Must be a slow e-mail day, or maybe he's just giving us a shitty SLLotD so people stop whining about repeats in the column.
I don't prefer nuts in my brownies and I don't prefer to be on bottom during sex, but I'm not turning down brownies or sex regardless of those preferences!
Anal sex-bottoms should definitely abstain from the types of food Dan specified. But how about the masochistic BDSM-style bottoms? Don't they get to self-torture by consuming overspiced curries, jaw-dislocating burgers, brainfreeze-inducing sundaes and fried cockroaches with honey-dressing (all of those out of personal experience)?
Stupidest letter ever, but funniest SLOG ever.
@12 tossed salad
signed,
a submissive who HATE obstacles in her food, but loves chunky peanut butter. but a straight woman, so I don't know -- am I a bottom? or just a submissive?
ps and doms drink pineapple juice.
Stupidest letter ever, but funniest SLOG ever.
@12 tossed salad
signed,
a submissive who HATE obstacles in her food, but loves chunky peanut butter. but a straight woman, so I don't know -- am I a bottom? or just a submissive?
ps and doms drink pineapple juice.
If you eat Indian, Ethiopian, and Mexican food in the way that people at home eat simple dinner in India, Ethiopia, and Mexico, I suspect you should be fine. Indian food is actually pretty good for digestion, because of all the vegetables, once you get rid of all that godawful butter and fat that's in the Indian restaurants.
This is way after the fact, but I'm the original questioner and Dan edited my question. I left it open-ended WRT male and female and orientation. I didn't ask my friend so as not to ruin the fun, but I think he became aware of top and bottom from gay culture and looked around and saw it applying to straights too. I guess that's not news. "We knows who wears the pants in that family," has been around for decades.
No nuts for me, and I'm a top.
And it's too late for you, Dan. Those of us who have been around for years already know what gets your motor going.
Fixed it for ya.
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
--cp
do they layer their brownies?
Have a nice day.
(Seriously, I think that app might be making it a little too easy to just whip off a letter to Dan without putting any thought into it.)
According to SFTSLAFiP "friend's" (assinine) logic: What, then, do Switches eat?
Additionally, I think the Marquis de Sade had the final word when he wrote that Stewed Chicken and Rice is what bottoms should eat.
- lawanda page
Then again, I'm a bottom in the former sense, and I prefer brownies without nuts and creamy pb, and I don't like Mexican or Indian food, so make of that what you will.
Oh, and S&M bottoms definitely like to mix Skittles with M&Ms, and not just because of the letters. B^)
(Do you think CP was really a bottom? To me he was the top.....)
And I really want to promise that Android users will send you better questions when our app finally comes out, but based on some of the people I've played against on Wordfeud... I'd better just speak for myself.
Hey Dan, what do you think of this probably-untrue correlation that I just made up? People who like eating pussy like grapefruit juice, and people who don't, don't. See, pussy and grapefruit both have that acid tang, so it totally could be true. Or they could have nothing to do with each other. But I like both pussy and grapefruit juice, so I'll present it as a widely-believed fact!
Must be a slow e-mail day, or maybe he's just giving us a shitty SLLotD so people stop whining about repeats in the column.
@12 tossed salad
signed,
a submissive who HATE obstacles in her food, but loves chunky peanut butter. but a straight woman, so I don't know -- am I a bottom? or just a submissive?
ps and doms drink pineapple juice.
@12 tossed salad
signed,
a submissive who HATE obstacles in her food, but loves chunky peanut butter. but a straight woman, so I don't know -- am I a bottom? or just a submissive?
ps and doms drink pineapple juice.
I love eating pussy and I'd rather drink Glenn Beck's bathwater than drink grapefruit juice.
Back on topic: I'll eat crunchy peanut butter all day, but I can't stand nuts in any other form, so what does that make me?