Comments

1
stay classy!
2
tee hee.
3
I love chunky peanut butter and nuts in general but NOT in my brownies. I'm versatile.
4
Don't eat prunes! Big mistake! Top or bottom.
5
TMI
6
You are so busted Daniel-san.
7
Your faithful readers in India, Ethiopia, and Mexico are taking your advice with a grain of salt. (And I am in so in love with the writer for the phrase "if you like obstacles in your food...")
8
Like we didn't already know this about you and Terry, Dan.
9
What about Thai food?
10
I'm monkey reversed. I like nuts in brownies and cookies, but I hate chunky peanut butter. I'm also versatile.
11
I hate nuts, both in brownies and in peanut butter (not that I eat peanut butter), and I'm a bottom. Therefore, that premise is false.
12
what do girls that are into anal eat?
13
this is stupid
14
@12 Filet mignon!
15
Of course it's stupid, Max - it's Slog.

No nuts for me, and I'm a top.

And it's too late for you, Dan. Those of us who have been around for years already know what gets your motor going.
16
@14 that was awesome.
17
Sounds like a giant load of stupid to me.
18
@12 me
19
Nutless brownies... for the love of Pete.
20
Since when are flavor and texture "obstacles"?
21
@20 That's what the Donner party said.
22
"If someone likes nuts in his mouth and dick in his brown-eye.."

Fixed it for ya.
23
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

--cp
24
what about "versatile" types?

do they layer their brownies?
25
Well, I have a strong theory that the situation is not what the food choices would indicate. I even have evidence for my belief. It's in "The Kid," so it must be true.
26
I hate nuts in any food and I am *predominantly* a bottom. So there.
27
@ 25: The Situation is neither here nor there in this discussin', but Snooki and Bristol Palin now that's a whole 'nother can of peanuts... you betcha, guidette.

28
Dear LW: Your friend is an idiot. You are slightly less of an idiot (but still an idiot nonetheless) for taking it seriously enough to write in and ask about.

Have a nice day.

(Seriously, I think that app might be making it a little too easy to just whip off a letter to Dan without putting any thought into it.)
30
Celebrate the diversity of my anus!
31
Perhaps "I like nuts in my brownies" is just a poorly constructed euphemism.
32
Considerate bottoms pay attention to how their bodies react to different foods. And eat plenty of fiber.
33
@32 exactly! Eat a bowl of Kashi in the morning and your lower GI is going nowhere fast
34
Vince is on a roll tonight! @12 ha ha! ;)

According to SFTSLAFiP "friend's" (assinine) logic: What, then, do Switches eat?

Additionally, I think the Marquis de Sade had the final word when he wrote that Stewed Chicken and Rice is what bottoms should eat.
35
I always liked nuts, but have been allergic to both peanuts and tree nuts since high school, so my lack of eating them says more about wanting to avoid an allergic reaction than anything it might imply about the sexual positions I prefer.
36
@31 my thought as well...
37
Off topic, but a nice one! We Want It To Get Better (Teens) - It Ge…
38
If you are wondering where bottoms like their nuts, "in food" of any sort probably is the wrong approach to the question.
39
' my man told me i'm like peanut butter. brown, smooth, and easy to spread'
- lawanda page
40
I think Dan's response indicates that he doesn't totally understand the question. It seems to me that an S&M bottom would "like obstacles in his food", whereas an anal bottom should avoid the Mexican food. Not that there isn't overlap between the two types of bottoms.

Then again, I'm a bottom in the former sense, and I prefer brownies without nuts and creamy pb, and I don't like Mexican or Indian food, so make of that what you will.

Oh, and S&M bottoms definitely like to mix Skittles with M&Ms, and not just because of the letters. B^)
41
Oh 23, that's where my mind went too!

(Do you think CP was really a bottom? To me he was the top.....)
42
@40 that's what I thought too
43
I'm a lady and prefer nutless brownies. Are we inherently bottoms? I dunno, but all I know is that sweets should be left alone to be sweets, and health nuts and potheads should stop trying to fuck with them.
44
One time in high school I told a room full of guys that I only eat "girl cookies," because I always choose cookies (or any dessert) with no nuts. None were as delighted as the guy who wore a bathrobe to school every day, who came up to me later and said, "So, I hear you only eat girl cookies, and I think that's awesome." Nicest thing he ever said to me. True story.

And I really want to promise that Android users will send you better questions when our app finally comes out, but based on some of the people I've played against on Wordfeud... I'd better just speak for myself.
45
Hey Dan, your boyfriend does not "allow you?" You are a bottom.
46
I'm guessing that this idiot read this in Cosmo and took it as fact. Also, if you bite into your ice cream, you're more assertive in bed, apparently.
47
Bowel movement.
49
@40: That may be so, but anyone who writes a letter to a sex columnist who is primarily a gay guy and secondarily a kinkster (we don't, after all, even know if Dan is himself into heavy BDSM) and uses the terms "bottom" and "top" without specifying what kind, deserves the misunderstanding.
50
@21 AWESOME. And @8, exactly.
51
this is like 100x dumber than asking what someone's sign is
52
Best answer: the writer's friend is an idiot.
53
What an interesting concept. It "bares" more contemplation.
54
Does it apply to straight relationships? All my exs and current boyfriend have all preferred chunky pb. Hrm.
55
Where the fuck do people come up with this stuff? Why?

Hey Dan, what do you think of this probably-untrue correlation that I just made up? People who like eating pussy like grapefruit juice, and people who don't, don't. See, pussy and grapefruit both have that acid tang, so it totally could be true. Or they could have nothing to do with each other. But I like both pussy and grapefruit juice, so I'll present it as a widely-believed fact!

Must be a slow e-mail day, or maybe he's just giving us a shitty SLLotD so people stop whining about repeats in the column.
56
I don't prefer nuts in my brownies and I don't prefer to be on bottom during sex, but I'm not turning down brownies or sex regardless of those preferences!
57
On the other hand, a few columns ago Dan said he owned two "Catcher" t-shirts...
58
Anal sex-bottoms should definitely abstain from the types of food Dan specified. But how about the masochistic BDSM-style bottoms? Don't they get to self-torture by consuming overspiced curries, jaw-dislocating burgers, brainfreeze-inducing sundaes and fried cockroaches with honey-dressing (all of those out of personal experience)?
59
For myself, I prefer both snails and oysters...
60
My boyfriend is a bottom and he hates nuts. I love nuts! But women don't really have a bottom or a top...hmmmmm
62
Stupidest letter ever, but funniest SLOG ever.
@12 tossed salad
signed,
a submissive who HATE obstacles in her food, but loves chunky peanut butter. but a straight woman, so I don't know -- am I a bottom? or just a submissive?
ps and doms drink pineapple juice.
63
Stupidest letter ever, but funniest SLOG ever.
@12 tossed salad
signed,
a submissive who HATE obstacles in her food, but loves chunky peanut butter. but a straight woman, so I don't know -- am I a bottom? or just a submissive?
ps and doms drink pineapple juice.
64
ooh! double post WITH a typo! FTW
65
If you eat Indian, Ethiopian, and Mexican food in the way that people at home eat simple dinner in India, Ethiopia, and Mexico, I suspect you should be fine. Indian food is actually pretty good for digestion, because of all the vegetables, once you get rid of all that godawful butter and fat that's in the Indian restaurants.
66
If Dan's not a top I will eat my hat.
67
@55

I love eating pussy and I'd rather drink Glenn Beck's bathwater than drink grapefruit juice.

Back on topic: I'll eat crunchy peanut butter all day, but I can't stand nuts in any other form, so what does that make me?
68
This is way after the fact, but I'm the original questioner and Dan edited my question. I left it open-ended WRT male and female and orientation. I didn't ask my friend so as not to ruin the fun, but I think he became aware of top and bottom from gay culture and looked around and saw it applying to straights too. I guess that's not news. "We knows who wears the pants in that family," has been around for decades.

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