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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
GOOD.
Keep doing that, instead of actually trying to have sex with women.
Does that make me straight?
First of all, Mother Teresa was a pedophile. She loved children.
But your question is about whether you are a pedosexual.
No, what you are is a sexual dimorphic. I am one too.
Dimorphism means that you prefer a person of the opposite sex who has inferior (or superior) body characteristics to you (I am one too...a dimophic).
Dimorphism used to be the norm. Tall guy. Short gal. (Check out any movie before 1960).
So what happened? Unisex design. Today's marketing requirements (cars, clothes) enforces a stereotype of the Brother-Sister type of relationship. It's easier to sell stuff when everyone's the same...so, sexual dimophism was sequelched.
And, as comments sections like this prove over and over again -- if you try to go against the dominant paradigm, they will start in disparaging you and calling you horrible names.
all of these women were very petite, very small breasted (to the point of having breasts that were not visible outside her clothing in one case), and very, VERY naive. after the 18 year old broke up with him a few years back, she told me that it took her a long time to figure out that things weren't quite right there. like, his dick wouldn't get hard and stay hard unless she talked to him in a high, sweet little-girl voice. and he preferred that she shave off all her pubes (ALL of them, not just the ones that get in the way for oral) because pubes made her look "wrong". not to mention the control he needed over her life. she wasn't really allowed to have any friends that weren't already friends with him. she wasn't allowed to wear makeup, or buy new things for her wardrobe without his approval. and on, and on, and on. suffice it to say, when things ended with them, they ended BADLY.
i haven't talked to the guy in years, but we still have mutual friends, and i cringe a little when i hear about his latest woman. because they always fit this same mold. and i always worry about them. do they know what they're getting into?
i'm not saying you're exactly like this guy, AIR, but you sound a lot like him, and that troubles me. maybe you need to take a big step back and, like, examine your motives.
curious: have you ever tried dating a woman your own age? even once?
"...women need love, too." would be the grammatically correct way to bust this shit out
People call you horrible names because you are horrible, Bailo. Not because you want to have sex with attractive women and they reject your theory of "sexual dimorphism".
#13
Oh ok. That I can live with...
Also, even if AIR is not a pedo, he is creepy. All my petite and girlish female friends are very wary of guys like him: they want guys who are attracted to small women (and treat them like women), not guys who are into how they look kind of like kids (and also tend to treat them like kids).
That said, the preference for the petite 20 year olds combined with the fascination for the age gap definitely indicates a power/superiority issue. Technically, there's nothing wrong with that (whatever lifts your luggage, right?), though it DOES make it harder to form a relationship based on anything other than the physical.
Either way, hopefully AIR has money. Because his attraction to the young and naive isn't going to go away, and when he's 60 he's still going to be trolling for 20 year old, tiny-tittied ladies with Daddy issues.
N.B. - The appearance of weakness in women is a desirable trait to many men - and to society, usually - and it plays the gadfly to women who "look the part" but do not in any way "feel the part"... OHMYGODTHISATTITUDEISSOOBNOXIOUS!!! IDLIKETOCRUSHITUNDERMYHEELAGAINANDAGAINANDAGAIN!!! IHATEIT!!! HATEIT!!!!! ICANTTELLYOUWHATAPRIMALRAGEANDDESIRETOKILLTHISENGENDERSINME!!! MAKEITSTOP!!! MAKEITEND!!! NOREALLYIDONTHAVEANGERMANAGEMENTISSUES!!! IJUSTWANTTOKILLKILLKILL!!! /end rant
OK, all better now. :-)
Actually, in spanish, the word for fart is "peo".
And the rage-inspiring thing was the attitude towards women, not the attitude of (crazy) women.
l.r.
I'm a petite, small-breasted, high-voiced woman, and if some guy wants to get off on pretending I'm 13 instead of 29, he can go right ahead. The problem arises when people pursue actual children. Role-playing is hot. I'll bring the pigtails, you bring the lust.
You could compare this to incest fantasies: a lot of people are turned on by incest role-playing, or hypothetical incest scenarios, but it's much more unusual to actually be turned on and want to have sex with your own relatives.
That said, even if the LW is a pedo, so what? Just don't molest any kids. Stick to young-looking adults. It doesn't make you a bad person. You don't have to feel bad about it: you're attracted to who you're attracted to. This reminds me of the endless "Am I gay" or "Am I a 'slut' " questions.
Ahora tengo que tirarme un pedo.
Ladies, even the average among you was untouchably smoking hot at that point, relative to the middle age version. Sorry. Nature is cruel to her daughters.
(Nature is cruel to guys too, in a different way: it gave them insatiable lust at the age of fourteen, and no chance for a woman's attention for at least a few more years. But I think guys get the better deal, frankly.)
12
godam you quit pointing out Dan's illiteracy!
it is awkward for the fanboys to find out Dan is an illiterate retard.
and then he has to go edit the post without showing what he edited.
which makes him a lying cheating illiterate retard who breaks the rules of the net.
and that is bad for his karma.
you don't want Danny to get AIDS do you?
please don't fuck with his already shitty karma.
So what?
Why is wanting to thinking about fuck 10-year-old girls an any less legitimate sexual orientation that wanting to fuck other men?
Dan is a fucking hypocrite bigot.
Because perversion and deviancy is what its all about, baby!
And once you open that box it just pours and pours......
Obviously.
(I know, feeding the trolls, etc.)
@31: Have you ever heard of consent? Do you get why we have 'age of consent' in our society? That fucking a 10-year-old is not the same as fucking a consenting adult, regardless of his/her gender? Do you understand the difference? Ok. Now go out and play.
and @26: So yeah, no problem. Being a pedo is ok, just don't molest any kids. Easy peasy. If only all those convicted child rapists (not to mention the psychiatric professionals who try to treat them) had thought of that!
I bet it's because a 15 year-old molesting a 10 year-old has a slight possibility of the 10 year-old going along willingly, while a 21 year-old molesting a 10 year-old is 100% clear cut evil. His brain is subconsciously processing those distinctions and is coming up with a compromise that allows him to live with himself.
I bet he does one of the two:
Visualizes his 18 year-old self having sex with 10 year-olds. If so, then his subconscious is probably trying to make the impulses he knows to be wrong more palatable.
Wishes he were screwing the 10 year-old versions of his current partners. Then he is probably near the point of acting on his true impulses.
Hey LW, it sounds like you have a conscience. Seek out help before you ruin some poor kids life.
I learned at a *very* early age to avoid guys like AIR. It doesn't help that being deaf trips similar power dynamics, either. But it does get better -- at some point you will no longer look 20 and they go on to fresh prey.
AIR may not be a pedophile, and I don't think he is so long as he's having it on with 18+. But he's got issues, and if the women he goes for are smart, they'll bail quickly, too.
A variation of this syndrome, some have already touched on -- the asianphile. It's really creepy to watch these men consistently go after the most "doll like" asian women. And dude, trust me, They *hate* it. They know exactly what you're doing.
Attraction to small-breasted older women certainly ISNT a powerplay/pedo/whatever. Here is a hint, breasts sag, and small breasts sag a lot less than bigger ones. I would much rather have a 40 year old woman with pert, small boobs than one with sagging gozangas.
Check out Dan's column "Gold Star Pedophiles": http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…
This dime-store psychological theory was plucked straight from your ass. I call bullshit.
There is something uniquely hot about a petite and feminine pixie knobbling all over your cock, just like there is something uniquely hot about a built woman riding cowboy with her tits bouncing around in your face. Audrey Hepburn is beautiful in a way that Marilyn Monroe is not, and vice versa. Personally, I could go in either direction, but some guy's tastes run narrower. No one really knows why guys fixate on the things they do, and anyone who claims to is full of shit.
@24: Yum.
"And here's a picture of him at 16... water-skiing... in nothing but a Speedo. Um. Hmm. I realize it's wrong to fuck 16-year-olds, and it's creepy to lust after 16-year-olds openly, but is it wrong to want to jump in a time machine so you can fuck your own boyfriend when he was a 16-year-old? Geez, just thinking about this is making my head hurt."
Dan's words, btw.
Good thing we live in a state with medicinal marijuana, indeed.
rape and molestation are not sex acts, they are acts of violence and control. (most of us don't have to hold ourselves back from stealing money, either).
I don't think he's a pedo. But, as Dan asks, is he thinking about fucking 10 year old girls? Or just playing with the age dynamic? It sounds more like the latter to me, but only he knows.
@49 I can't figure out what your point really is, but you do realize that 16-year-olds aren't pre-pubescent children, right? Because while it may be inappropriate for adults to sexualize them, it wouldn't technically make said adults pedophiles. And Dan wasn't doing pervy math, just wondering about the hypothetical ethics of time travel for the sake of sex. (God, I'm in love with that sentence.)
Speaking as a gay male, i can truly say that Mr. Savage's column has done wonders for my self esteem. I used to buy into the nonsense that gay people are defective and that straight people were some ideal that I needed to strive for. And I wasted so much time beating myself up for not being able to make myself straight. But then many years ago I found this column and realized that straight people are a fucked up group and they certainly don't stand on a moral high ground from which they can judge any other group. Your letter reminds me of that fact! Thanks.
On the other hand, why not embrace this? Find a woman like the commenter creepy little girl, above, who is your physical type and who is happy to bring the age-play. It'd make the sex you're having hotter and might vent some steam from your kink. Maybe all it takes is for you to have a woman who is excited to call you daddy or wear pigtails or put on a plaid skirt.
There are people with poor impulse control, due to mental illness or neurological damage, who can't stop themselves from raping or stealing. But that has nothing to do with pedophilia.
I'm not sure what you mean by 'legitimate sexual orientation' but pedos are attracted to kids in the same way that straight men are attracted to women.
He could also be having issues with guilt or depression that are causing this whole thing which is not actually sexually rooted. Guessing through the layers of rationalization he has put himself into is not going to work here. He is going to need a professional who is not sex-negative to hash it out.
FWIW I think hes not a pedo.
I gotta say, I personally find the pervy-math situation sort of creepy, but that's just a matter of personal preferences. Dude could probably find a petite woman who is into playing schoolgirl-teacher games or w/e, I'm not gonna tell that couple their kink is "wrong" or anything. Consenting adults, after all... and AIR gives no indication that he is interested in women who are actually under the age of consent.
What would be concerning is if this guy treats his partners like #10 describes - if he insists on infantilizing them in and out of bed, acts in controlling ways, and refuses to treat them as whole, adult individuals for the sake of his kink.
I guess if I were AIR, I'd be less worried about being 100% "pedo-free" and more worried about whether he respects his sex partners as human beings.
Now, it could well be he's into a (to me) creepy combination of power play and age play. However as long as it's only play there shouldn't be a problem, though I think his girlfriends have a right to know about this. However if he likes really young women because they are innoccent and easier to control outside the bedroom, then he needs to get his ass to a therapist, pronto.
it does not address the physiological legitimacy of the attraction.
Savage's "marriage" is illegal in 45 states and half of all Americans think what he and Teri do is a SIN.
that doesn't keep him from insisting that he Biologically and Inately IS homosexual and he can't do anything about it and he has nothing to be ashamed of.
why does Dan think HIS "orientation" is ok but someone attracted to children's is not?
why is Savage's inate attraction any more worthy and legitimate than those of a pedophile?
why is Savage's opinion and condemnation of the pedophile any more legitimate than Tony Perkin's condemnation of Savage's behavior?
Savage is a bigoted hypocritical prick.
The targets of his hate may differ from those of a right wing homophobic fundy Bible quoter (tho they probably would find a lot of common ground on bisexuals, trannies, even blacks...) but the hate at the core than animates them isd EXACTLY THE SAME
He'll have to get in line.
snicker. gives new meaning to the phrase "tirar un pedo"
@63: The magic word is consent, jackass. Terry is able to give informed consent when he and Dan have sex. A child is not capable of giving informed consent to have sex with an adult.
Dan has historically been very kind to pedophiles, despite being quite firm about keeping their hands off kids and keeping themselves out of situations where they might be tempted.
It's not hypocritical at all, and pretending it is proves how much Christian homophobes actually follow the teachings of the bible. One of the 10 commandments, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" apparently matters less to you than obscure passages about ritual cleanliness in the midst of the Kosher laws. Take the plank out of your own eye before trying to take any speck out of Dan's, you hypocrite.
That's some icky math.
my my
are you accusing us of being a Christian?
try to focus.
and try to adress the points in 63.
'consent' is a social construct.
that says nothing about the validity of the underlying desires and urges.
why does Dan think HIS "orientation" is ok but someone attracted to children's is not?
why is Savage's inate attraction any more worthy and legitimate than those of a pedophile?
why is Savage's opinion and condemnation of the pedophile any more legitimate than Tony Perkin's condemnation of Savage's behavior?
Savage IS a bigoted hypocritical prick.
and @41, I think it's because 18 is one of those milestone ages, you know. Like, "hey, did you know, the year you became legally old enough to _____ was the year I became a double-digit?"
Bigoted hypocritical prick yourself.
But honestly, I think it's beside the point. Keep dating the adults you're attracted to, treat them like the fully capable, rational adults they are outside the bedroom, and do whatever kinky consensual shit you want to inside the bedroom. Done.
*Further reading/listening:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…
http://podcasts.thestranger.com/savagelo… (Episode 183)
If you're going to be pedantic, be pedantic about English in its current form, as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, not the Oxford English Dictionary from 1947. Or some literal Latin definition (a language that would be dead save for its current bastardizations in Italian, Spanish, French, and uh, English).
FYI: the Oxford English Dictionary says that a paedophile is someone who is *sexually* attracted to children. And that's the only definition they have.
I fantasized about 30 year olds when I was 12, when I was 15, when I was 21, when I was 30, and now.
So evidently I learned something between 6 and 12!
Many times a younger person under the age of consent makes a proposal to an older person either above or below the age of consent.
What needs to be understood is that the legal age of consent is a completely arbitrary designation which has changed over time and which still varies depending on jurisdiction. Often the age of consent is different for men and women and for the type of sexual behavior.
Google: Age of Consent
So keep a fence around the outer borders of your fetish, and, in Stanhope's words, "just don't fuck a kid." Jack off in the basement, fuck women as you do, just don't fuck a kid.
So Dan tells pedophiles they are welcome to have their innate orientation but not to act on it?
because it makes him uncomfortable?
and violates HIS norms?
they can't exhibit their behavior in public?
certainly can't marry whom they love?
and Dan differs from Tony Perkins exactly how?
They're both from a Catholic upbringing, which must aid their ability to remain focused on the issues they champion.
Spelling paedophilia "Pedo" is almost an exclusively american pop culture thing. In my case, it's b/c I'm canadian and a Psych student. But the root of the word is "pais" which is greek for child (note it doesn't even have an E). The first coinage of the term spelled it "paedophilia" and most publications in the psych world maintain the spelling.
Not to say one is better than another. It's pretty inconsequential, but truth be told, in the history of the word, the popular spelling is the less explicable anomaly of the two.