Comments

104
So, you want decent treatment from the guy who was treating you as the slut you are? Sorry, doesn't work that way.

If you want decent treatment, try behaving as a person who deserves it. Otherwise, if you act like a whore, guys will treat you like a whore. I know, 'sexually positive' (code word for promiscuous trailer trash with 4 kinds of STDs and no recollection of who might have fathered their children or conversely which children they might have fathered) people don't get this. But if you want respect, act respectably.
105
Re 102

"I think the problem some people have with FWBs is the term itself. It seems to imply some degree of looseness..."

Imply? No, it is in fact an extreme 'degree of loosness.' A person with so little respect for the role sex has in emotional intimacy as to casually sleep with friends is no more or less than a slut, male or female. They have the morals of a dog in heat, not a human being. No imply about it.
106
Sez you.
107
104/105 is just pissed cuz he found out Voldemort loses.
108
@107

Voldemort? Is that a person, place or thing? Can I have a clue?
109
108: If you're really that clueless, no, you can't.
110
Officially clueless. You heard it here first.
111
Had the same thing happen to me. He - like TOWTH's guy - was an asshole. There is absolutely no excuse for treating people like shit, regardless of the nature of the relationship. And not having the balls to at least fucking text and say "I don't want to talk to you any more" is as low as it gets. It says the guy is an immature, pathetic, self-absorbed, emotionally stunted asshole with no regard for others' feelings. Good riddance.
112
In fairness, a person who is clueless is most in need of a clue, by definition.

Eastern European soccer team?
113
To paraphrase a very successful slut, fairness had nothing to do with it, honey.
114
Glad you're not still bitter, FA.
Srsly, tho, I think the sex angle is a red herring. They could have been going out to dinner, it's the same question, and the same answer.
115
*Like* (the answer)
116
Frog damn it, Dan, you're attracting the angry fundies here by being all awesome and controversial.

Someone put Seattleblues back in its cage, quick!
117
@102 No no no no no! No! That's excactly the kind of deluded nonsense that is getting poor misguidede women into relationships with assholes and are keeping them there. The idea that "he will be different to me because I'm special and he cares about me".
Being considerate is not something you switch on and off depending on who you're with. You either are or you aren't. You may be able to fake it, even for a long time, bur sooner or later, your inner jerk is going to rear it's ugly head. And how you treat people when you think it won't come back to haunt you, says everything about who you are as a person.

If I was on a date with I guy who was rude to the waitress, I would leave and tell him not to contact me again. I would never, ever be persuaded by some lame-ass reasoning, that the waitress wasn't important but that he would never treat me that way, because I was his date. It makes no difference that the girl he was rude to was his FWB.
118
You know, I can't imagine hanging out on some fundie blog and debating the commenters, it would give me a migraine. So why would someone like Seattleblues read this blog? Women who sleep around are "whores," gay people in general are "deviants," sexual orientation is a "choice" (the wrong choice, obviously)...what is the end goal, SB? Hoping to convert people to your un-Christian version of Christianity? Trying to encourage same-sex couples to break up? So, being religious and all, I know you like parables; here's one: At the truly awesome store where I work part-time, we sell these thongs that come rolled up in a tiny tube. Sometimes people will take them out of the tube (gah!) and then decide they don't want them. Do you have any idea how freakin' difficult it is to get them back into those tiny tubes, after they've been unrolled and experienced a bit of freedom on the shop counter? So, the open-minded people on this blog, SB, they're like the unrolled thong: All free and awesome and brightly coloured, enjoying the world around them. If you ask them, "Hey! Want to get back in that tube, where you couldn't see anything? And your movement was restricted? And you were forced into a certain shape?" The answer, of course, is hell no! NO ONE is going to read what you are posting and think, "Oh, if only I could become bigoted and narrow-minded like Seattleblues, I'd probably be so much happier!" .....just thought you should know.
119
@118 Word. But really, Seattleblues doesn't really give a shit about us, s/he just wants to piss someone off. People like that are just bitter their moms didn't put their macaroni art on the fridge as children, and they seek any attention at all, even negative, to make up for it.
120
I love Canuck's @118. I can see the affirmations now... folks at their desk, smiling, eyes closed as they recharge from a miserable experience, gently repeating, "I am a free and awesome and brightly coloured thong and I love the world. I am a free and awesome and brightly coloured thong and I love the world." And then a BIG smile, and ready to face the day again, now happily tubeless.
121
Man, now I'm actually kind of worried. I've been friends with this guy for the last year or so, and halfway through the year, we starting messing around. Why is it that no one ever has FWB success stories, where both parties walked away from it happy and satisfied, or hell, end up together even though that wasn't the original intent of the relationship? If it has to end, why do I never hear about any of them ending amicably?
122
#118 Canuck FTW
123
The funniest thing is that this a-hole wants to be a father someday. LOL, what a role model he will be...
124
The first word in "friends with benefits" is "friends." Of course she deserved a real goodbye. This man is a coward to just cut off contact rather than explaining himself. We would say so if she were his girlfriend or his non-benefit friend. I'm skeptical of the wisdom of FWB arrangements, but if the question is whether she deserved a real breakup the answer is absolutely yes.

125
@121: Because people like to talk about the dramatic breakups, especially in a sex advice column. But I've had many friends with benefits where things ended amicably, and many where we ended up together, then amicably broke up later.
126
@ 118

'Fundie Blog?' What exactly would that be? I assume this is some kind of play on fundamentalist. So- A fundamentilist Christian blog? Sorry, I'm just a middle of the road protestant like most of my fellow citizens.

Mainly, I visit sites like this because I don't enjoy echo chambers. I'm a libertarian leaning conservative. I know what this means. Visiting sites catering to these traits would be like auditing an ESL course. It would be a waste of time rehashing a subject I know well already.

And I'm fascinated with liberalism, in a low grade way. Many libs are quite intelligent, despite the obvious difficulties any intelligent person should have with their political and cultural views. Some are moral and ethical people, despite the blatant immorality and unethical nature of their political and economic ideals. It's a mental disconnect between political adherence and personal traits Freud could have written a book about.

I have no expectation anyone will change an opinion or life choice based on anything I've written here. Liberal thought is about being a perpetual 13 year old economically and politically, and often sexually. Who would willingly trade responsible ethical and moral choices for these until they had to do so? I mean, it was kind of fun being a teenager. No bills, no responsibilities and no real consequences to our choices, right? Most of us adopt responsible approaches to life in our mid to late twenties, because we must. We have jobs or families or other responsibilities that make us re-think our childish fancies for adult behavior. Liberals just skip this stage.

    Please wait...

    and remember to be decent to everyone
    all of the time.

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