A GOP elected official has described the Transportation Security Administration's non-discriminatory hiring policies as "the federal employee's version of the Gay Bill of Special rights," and paints this nightmare scenario for panicky straight/straight-identified men...

"That means the next TSA official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission."

Speaking as both a practicing homosexual and a frequent flyer—or a frequent homosexual and a practicing flyer—I think Virginia's Eugene Delgaudio has it backwards. Heterosexual TSA agents, not heterosexual travelers, are the ones who are most in danger. Like that one total sexbomb who works the A gate screening area at Sea-Tac—how many practicing homosexual travelers has he had to pat down? I mean, besides me? Do we have any way of knowing how many practicing homosexual travelers are out there secretly getting pleasure from submitting to enhanced pat-downs from other TSA hotties working in other airports? We do not. And since it's not always possible to spot the homosexual traveler—not all of us are obviously gay—the only way to protect innocent heterosexual TSA agents from being reverse-groped by practicing homosexuals is to ban gay people from flying.

Or make us all carry luggage like this so the cute TSA agents—there has to be more than one of them out there, right?—can take evasive action when they see us coming through the line.

Also: the GOP elected official fantasizing about being groped by TSGAY agents is also "president of the conservative nonprofit Public Advocate of the United States." Delgaudio and PAUS oppose the Student Non-Discrimination Act (as it would turn our schools and "homosexual breeding grounds"), marriage equality, and adoption rights for same-sex couples (he pictures gay couples "hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to 'pick out' a little boy for themselves"). So you gotta love this detail from WUSA9's report about Delgaudio's TSA fantasies :

Delgaudio's Public Advocate organization says it supports ending same-sex marriage and pro-life initiatives, along with "equality under the law, regardless of one's sexual orientation."