A relationship with a bisexual man for a prolonged period of time would probably lead me to twist myself into a pretzel. I'd be so consumed with guilt over his deserving a partner who could share something that important to his basic identity that I'd push myself from acceptance to celebration and into conversion. It wouldn't really catch on and in the end it would all have been for nothing. Probably for the relationship to work my pure history would probably have to be a primary point of attraction.

"Men like bisexual women (and vice versa) because they can have all the status & security benefits of a straight marriage (you dont need to use academic jargon here) while still fooling around." --#67, CharlesF

Okay, I just call myself queer in most label-wanting situations, but I'm bi, female, and poly' in the laziest way, mostly with women. My many-years-now love is male, bi, and actively poly', mostly with men. I have noted the relief of family members (that are admirably working on gay-acceptance, but just haven't managed more than 50% of it) when I brought the obvious boy-meat home for the holidays.

I do have a weird struggle with this from time to time, as girl-girl is a much more obvious form of queerness, and I believe that seeing more same-sex (or similar-sex, or ambiguous) folks in the streets every day makes a difference in the world.
In a strange way, I sometimes feel I'm not doing my part to make the world more accepting of a variety of sex/romance.

Eh, it is nearly therapist territory, this crap. I did get a bit of show-offy thrill when I used to look more andro-punk-dyke and was often snogging with my clearly trans-love on the bus, but I hope that talking more openly and helping others be more open about whomever they choose to bang/love is doing something to make up for the lack of in-your-face challenge that I used to present to the world.

Now I'm a stealth-queer until I open my mouth in a meeting of 'phobes that look just like me, and thought that I could be trusted to support their views without question.

So yeah, I get some benefit from appearing straight, but I think the not-straight world still gets some lift from my actions in the 'phobic territories.

I hope so, anyway.

"Men like bisexual women (and vice versa) because they can have all the status & security benefits of a straight marriage (you dont need to use academic jargon here) while still fooling around." --#67, CharlesF

Okay, I just call myself queer in most label-wanting situations, but I'm bi, female, and poly' in the laziest way, mostly with women. My many-years-now love is male, bi, and actively poly', mostly with men. I have noted the relief of family members (that are admirably working on gay-acceptance, but just haven't managed more than 50% of it) when I brought the obvious boy-meat home for the holidays.

I do have a weird struggle with this from time to time, as girl-girl is a much more obvious form of queerness, and I believe that seeing more same-sex (or similar-sex, or ambiguous) folks in the streets every day makes a difference in the world.
In a strange way, I sometimes feel I'm not doing my part to make the world more accepting of a variety of sex/romance.

Eh, it is nearly therapist territory, this crap. I did get a bit of show-offy thrill when I used to look more andro-punk-dyke and was often snogging with my clearly trans-love on the bus, but I hope that talking more openly and helping others be more open about whomever they choose to bang/love is doing something to make up for the lack of in-your-face challenge that I used to present to the world.

Now I'm a stealth-queer until I open my mouth in a meeting of 'phobes that look just like me, and thought that I could be trusted to support their views without question.

So yeah, I get some benefit from appearing straight, but I think the not-straight world still gets some lift from my actions in the 'phobic territories.

I hope so, anyway.

@106 - I think the issue that some people would have with it being immoral and a choice is that you are then chosing to be immoral which is something that can be corrected. I don't share that belief but i understand it.