Get ready to buy your tickets to L.A.—Justin Bieber is planning on opening up a store in posh outdoor shopping center The Grove! From LA Weekly:

The main draw at the Bieber store, said to be opening later this year... is Justin Bieber-branded lollipops. Because what you really want is to have your not-yet-teenage daughter furiously licking a likeness of her favorite pop star.

Those guys over at the LA Weekly are unfunny smartasses. I kind of hate them. A better version of this story that isn't so poorly written can be found here.

As recently reported, the rumor du jour is that das Beebs is getting freak nasty with slightly older teen Disney star Selena Gomez. Here is an extremely alarming (at least to Selena's parents) related story from the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Selena, 18, was recently photographed getting cozy with 16 year-old Justin in Miami and kissing him aboard a yacht off St. Lucia. The purity ring that she’s worn for six years - a symbol of her pledge to remain pure and celibate until marriage - was nowhere in sight.

“When the ring came off, Selena’s parents became unglued,” a family friend told The Enquirer.




Another reason to

: Justin Bieber suffered an allergic reaction on the set of CSI, guys! Also from Celebitchy:
Bieber was rushed to the hospital in Burbank, California recently when he suffered an allergic reaction while on the set of CSI filming his guest spot. He was said to be having trouble breathing but has since fully recovered. He was treated for about 30 minutes and then released.

According to Selena Gomez' parents, Bieber is most likely allergic to having sex with their daughter, and could suffer a life-threatening attack if he comes within 30 yards of her vagina. (And that, LA Weekly, is how you write a Justin Bieber joke. Dicks.)