Comments

1
The animal kingdom has much to teach us:

"Mounting:
One of the ways that a dog asserts its dominance is to assume a physically superior position over a subordinate. The dog attempts to become "top dog." Mounting is among the more obvious dominant positions. The front paws clasp (or the dog may stand over) another dog, arching its back, accompanied by rhythmic pelvic thrusts of variable intensity. Some owners find this humorous. By tolerating it, they encourage it. The dog views this as confirmation of its dominant status. Many owners mistake mounting for sexual behavior. Perhaps the best way to distinguish between mounting motivated by social dominance and mounting motivated by reproductive drive is to consider the circumstances. Is the mounting dog sexually intact (not neutered)? Is it a mature male or female? Is it a puppy? Is the dog mounting a human being or another dog? If it is a dog, is she a female in heat?
Unless the animal being mounted is a female in heat, the mounting is probably a display of dominance."
2
Dominating your teammates is probably not the best way to win a football match. Or maybe it is, I have NFI.
3
Football is so incredibly gay to me, I was always sad I was too shitty of an athlete to participate in it, hearing about all the rituals, hazing, and nudity, it was like there was this great, trashy gay club in the middle of my high school I couldn't attend. Good to see further validation of that impression.
4
@3 as a football player in high school and college most of the talk is hype, there not too much gay about football. But if I did have a gay teammate that would be fine.
5
Orrrr... its just guys screwing around being funny. As guys tend to do. Not every guy is secretly gay @3.
6
Mark Sanchez also wiped a booger on Mark Brunell on the sideline during this game haha.
7
I think even Richard Dawkins would agree that Dan Savage posting a football clip is a sign the end times are upon us.
8

They must be members of the Tea Party (according to SLOG).
9
It's those pants. They make me want to hump, too.
10
oh danny you are soooo precious
11
Ha-ha! @6 We saw that too!
12
There were so many different wacky moments in both championship games, but this was by far one of the oddest. Of course, with all of the homoerotic energy of burly men touching and wrestling each other, wearing form-fitting spandex tights, I'm actually kinda surprised this doesn't happen more often.
13
@1, some biologists would propose any theory to say animals aren't really engaging in some kind of analogous behavior to human homosexuality, eh?
14
@13 I'd imagine those "scientists" are the same ones who question climate change (pretty hard to deny the thousands of examples of homosexuality in various animal populations) A butt grab on the field seems to be an "accepted" way to express a little love, but that humping? Nah, I'm sticking with asshole/dominant behaviour...but then, what do I know about men and the games they play...?
15
Canuck, I'm no scientist, heaven knows ("pineapple juice makes ejaculate tastier" remains the limit of my understanding) but I do suspect you're safe thinking the humpings of juiced-up sports millionaires, during a nationally broadcast game in a stadium filled with tens of thousands, constitute dominance games rather than sudden passion.
16
I'm with gus @7. Where's the nearest shelter when you need one?
17
@8: Nice bandwagon-jumping. Didn't you use to be all about the Jets? Moar liek the Jettisoned, amirite?
18
Heh...saw that when it happened, wasn't sure if I'd interpreted it correctly, then got distracted by making dinner. Pretty funny.

And yeah, completely consistent with my experience of football and male roughhousing generally. I guess you can hypothesize about sublimated homosexual urges or whatever, but mostly I just think it's overly-excited guys fucking around (metaphorically).
19
Gus, you may not be a scientist, but you've at least managed to distill a very useful piece of information from all the hoo-ha out there. Now, if they could not only make it taste "better," but taste "exactly like" pineapple juice, I would be smiling...
20
@5

Let the poor dude dream. Chances are, about 90% of the dudes he's ever been attracted to are NOT AT ALL turned on by him and NEVER will be. If he wants to believe that the football locker room is secretly one big homo party, let him.
21
I'll start watching when the clothes come off... until then, football sucks.
22
Fuck the Steelers. Fuck them SO HARD.
23
Noticed the humping last night. Hilarious. BTW, Rapelisberger is my new favorite name for Big Ben.
24
@20 I suppose you're right. I'm still convinced that girls are always having topless pillow fights whenever they get together. Sure, the sorority girls say that they don't, but I refuse to believe them.
25
Football is not gay enough for me. It's homoerotic as hell but too hyper masculine. More humping please.
26
It's going to take a lot more than that to get me to watch football. Rugby, on the other hand, always seems to get me to stop channel surfing for a while.
27
See: Alan Dundes

"Some of his more controversial work involved examining the New Testament and the Qur'an as folklore.[3] However, of all his articles, the one that earned him death threats was "Into the Endzone for a Touchdown" an exploration of the homoerotic subtext inherent in the terminology and rituals surrounding American football."
28
@12, I completely agree. I usually describe football as "a bunch of men humping each other while other men watch", which most of my (straight) male friends don't apprerciate, but I think it's completely true. Of course, I also think that all straight men and women are at least a little tiny bit bi-curious. Even if they won't admit it, and especially if they make lots of homohpobic "bro rape" and "surprise butt sex" jokes.

And, I know this situation warranted it, but is joking about rape ever funny? Everytime a man so much as briefly touches another man, a bunch of insecure straight or closeted men have to make homophobic rape jokes. I seriously wish they would knock it the fuck off.
29
It reminds me of Weeds from two seasons ago when Nancy was describing how much money she was going to make and her brother just starts humping her out of pleasure. Maybe he was high as well. Doesn't have to be sexy pleasure when a guy humps a teammate, maybe just revved up excitement, funniness, etc. It was pretty hilarious. I mostly watched the Packer game, where there were no hijinks, just the ass-kicking.
31
@ 23 - That's a good one. My favorite so far has been 'Rufflesbooger'.

@ 22 - YES.
32
@24: Animal House doesn't lie.
33
Dear God I would so hump Ben Roethlisberger. Not to mention defensive end Brett Keisel (complete with the fantastic mountain-man beard). For some reason Pittsburgh seems to attract some really woofy players.
34
I saw this and immediately shouted at the teevee - ha! not so nice when someone humps you against your will, is it Roethlisberger?!

The rape comments aren't about homophobia people, they're about Roethlisberger rapey tendencies.

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