Blogs Feb 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Comments

whiny, boring arguments. Post again when you live in the arctic ocean and your blubber has an evolutionary reason.
@#2 Tell it!

I lost 60 lbs this year, and all the haranguing about fat acceptance kept me from doing it sooner. No, society did not tell me I wanted a thinner body. I did want a thinner body. But BBW fans and proud fat folks sure killed my drive to do something about it. For every fat person who bitches about society keeping them from accepting who they are, there's a person who wants to lose weight who's being discouraged from becoming who they want to be.

Also, you're free to love your own body, but nobody else is obligated to love it. So if someone writes to Dan Savage and says "my partner put on 50 lbs," I think it's perfectly reasonable for them to feel annoyed by the bait-&-switch and for Dan to tell them that.
@#2 Tell it!

I lost 60 lbs last year, and all the haranguing about fat acceptance kept me from doing it sooner. No, society did not tell me I wanted a thinner body. I did want a thinner body. But BBW fans and proud fat folks sure killed my drive to do something about it. For every fat person who bitches about society keeping them from accepting who they are, there's a person who wants to lose weight who's being discouraged from becoming who they want to be.

Also, you're free to love your own body, but nobody else is obligated to love it. So if someone writes to Dan Savage and says "my partner put on 50 lbs," I think it's perfectly reasonable for them to feel annoyed by the bait-&-switch and for Dan to tell them that.
also, it looks like you wear a bra. Why? Aren't you comfortable with your body in its natural form?
@1300 WeeblesWobble Um, yeah found that site doing a basic Google Search of Grammy fashion.
Okay...one glass of wine (which really quite fucks me up given my diet and usual consumption) and a cuddly boyfriend later.

@1304...yes, there might have been one random person who lost a lot of weight eating a very limited caloric diet of all junk. There may have been 100 random people who did this, or 1000, or 10,000...fact is, they're still a minority of the population. As I understand it, as advised by my dietitian, GP, and endocrinologist, calorie-for-calorie, good, whole foods make you feel fuller, longer, and have a less devastating impact on your insulin response to eating. While the diet I follow is often called "low carb" or "high protein" it's really just a more natural diet (I don't mean diet as a limiting of what you eat to lose weight, rather the whole of what you consume...your "diet"). I eat carbs...whole grain things with lots of fiber, vegetables, high-fiber fruits, even. I could even eat the orange I wanted, if I was committed to eating the skin and membranes as well, as that's where all the fiber and nutrients are (I have a friend who loves baked, salted orange skins, and if I loved them as well, I could have them). Carbs are over 50% of my "diet." The thing is, each person is different, and other studies have refuted your anecdotal blogger/dietitian. I have friends and family members who can chow down on ice cream and cake and never gain a pound. I have friends who have lost weight on high-carb, low-fat diets. Those things don't work for me. As for the studies (I'm a well-educated social scientist, so my doctors don't just tell me what to do, they share the research behind it with me), one thing that has stuck out at me is that to achieve a comfortable life, people need to eat the same *weight* of food. I can sit and eat a whole pound of broccoli or zucchini or peppers and maintain my weight or even lose a bit. But a pound of cake is a problem. I don't think my "diet" is right for everyone, but Hates Screen Names above is clearly in the same boat that I am, and so I think it's a more common situation than you might think. Therefore, I don't judge...I know how hard it was for me, and I don't wish that on anyone who doesn't take that on themselves. I will support anyone who wants to do it, and if a friend asks me what I did to lose/maintain the weight, I will tell them to take the same steps I did: get a good medical team who's willing to make your diet work for you, and accept that you may never be a size 4 (I'm an 8...that's the thinnest I can be without extreme measures, and so I have learned to love it). But I would never think to snark at someone who I don't know, or pretend to know what was best for them or what they were doing or going through.

@1305 and a little @1304...the response you get from others depends on where you are, who you know, and a whole lot of other factors. Fat, medium, and in-between, I have been treated badly by a number of people in my life. Yes, it does appear that there are complex depression/anxiety/physiological issues with carrying extra weight that can make it hard to lose it because of the lack of energy and willpower. But one cannot deny that there are psychological effects from outside sources. Today, my size 8 ass (I really don't have that much of an ass to speak of, I'm all boobs and muscle at this point) was shunned by someone on public transit. He sat down next to me and made a big show of having to turn his legs out to "fit into the seat." This despite the fact that I fit quite comfortably in one seat on anything...planes, trains, and automobiles. But I'm no supermodel, and he couldn't squeeze into his seat and half of mine to continually grab his smart phone (not as smart as mine...old dork man) out of the back of his waistband (W.T.F...shouldn't you be on that thing constantly, I mean...I had my music playing, was scanning Facebook, and texting and emailing when he sat down...technology deficient loser) and maintain a wide stance. Yes...I DO need that whole one seat...asshole. But that's only one thing. I have been in social situations where cuter, thinner friends will start talking to a group of people, and when/if I show up in that group, the strangers will literally pretend I don't exist (and that's at a horrendously huge size 8...you don't want to know what happened when I was a 16). I have been shunned more times than I care to remember, and the braver of the shunners told me that it was because I was a lard ass. I guess my point is that if it was really about "health" people would be kinder about it. If I have a fat friend who wants to lose weight, I invite them to go for a walk with me and over for a healthy dinner. I send them "awesome recipes" I found online with no comment about their nutritional value. I tell them that they should see a new doctor if theirs makes disparaging, unhelpful comments about their weight (the proper response is "we could improve your health if you lost a little weight...would you be interested in developing a team to make that happen?" Not, as I have been addressed at my current size by doctors "oh, you clearly don't go to the gym"). Can depression lead to weight gain? Absolutely. Can weight cause depression? YES, YES, YES. It's about being helpful and supportive without being an asshole. That's all I'm saying. I have run into a lot of assholes in my life, and they make me want to give up. I'm lucky that I have wonderful, supportive people in my life to balance that these days, but that wasn't always the case, at the size I am now and larger. Ever been in a situation where someone will fuck you but not take you out in public? Yes, I know it sounds like an episode of Sex and the City, but it has really, actually happened to me, and it SUCKS! It makes you want to curl up with a cake...which will never leave you.
1313 is unlucky. So here's to luck!
If people want to make an issue out of diabetes and obese people, can I PLEASE make an issue out of smokers and lung cancer, drunk drivers, texters, sleepy drivers, inexperienced drivers and car accidents, the babies we all pay for because of unprotected sex, and on and on it goes. Everyone wants to point the finger at fat people cause they wear their differences in public. It's not like it can be tucked away, in secret. But always remember that you may have one finger pointing outward at me, but you have three more pointing back at yourself.
Way to go, Lindy. And girl, I would kill for your legs!
I don't know if it's easier or harder to deal with alternating between loving and hating my body. I have only had to live in a 'fat' body for the last 10 years (before that I was one of those people who could wear whatever she wanted). I finally got rid of most of my old clothes because, 'I might fit back into them someday'. I am healthy (although less fit than I desire). I eat good food (sometimes I eat too much good food because well, it's GOOD!). My dodgy knees keep me from doing things more than my weight does. Hopefully one day I can fully shift into the loving my body phase and stay there. And you know who the main culprit it is that makes me feel horrid again? My damn mother. I love her dearly, but Christ, give it a break mum!
A professional would have spoken to her fellow employee, not written about him in the public sphere.
If that's the worst Dan has said in relation to obesity, then his fat-hate is being exaggerated. I have never felt the need to bring up other people's weight - it doesn't concern me - but if asked I would answer yes, I find very overweight people physically unattractive (which is not to say that some slightly bigger guys can't be wildly hot). Noone should be made to feel ashamed of who they are (I grew up gay so I experienced plenty of that) but nor do we need to tiptoe around the fact that obesity generally results from consuming more energy than one expends and, as such, is generally avoidable. Does that make me a fat-hater?
If that's the worst Dan wrote then his fat-hate is being exaggerated. I don't think anybody should be made to feel ashamed about things that are beyond their control, and nor have I ever raised another person's weight in order to praise or ridicule them. If asked, however, I will answer that I find very obese people physically unattractive. I also don't see any need to tiptoe around the fact that obesity generally results from consuming more energy than one expends and, as such, it is generally avoidable. Does this make me a fat hater?
I find fat people unattractive. Please do not tell me what to find attractive. I do not care about the health of fat people. They are just fat. Many Americans are fat, but want to be found attractive; they are not, in general.

When in America, I find it difficult to believe the servings in restaurants. My wife and I often share one serving, while fat people all around us eat these huge amounts, but want to be proud of being fat. Go ahead, but I am allowed to find fat unattractive. You can love it if you want. I do not have to.

I do not want fat people telling my children that being obese is just fine. It is not. I do not want fat people insisting that those of us who find fat people unattractive are somehow wrong or bad or mean. It is our taste. Dan is right. Rolls of blubber tend to make people look unattractive. I do not want people suggesting to the children of a nation that being obese has no consequences socially. It does.

I do not think that it is unfair that people have different metabolisms. Own your own. So what if some people can eat a lot and not get fat...What is that to you, if it is not true for you?

Simple enough? I never have made any comments to fat people or about fat people until I read this rather dunderheaded post of Lindy's. I am sure that fat people are all very proud. Please accept my congratulations... but do not try to bully me into accepting a huge epidemic of obesity. I find it terrible when a majority of a nation are fat, but claim that it is not their fault...I do not fault you. I just find you unattractive and a bit self-obsessed. Your diets and lifetyle are mostly to blame...Not all of you, but an epidemic of obesity is not constructed individually. Nor is it a moral failing. Nonetheless, you are fat. I also have no moral failing when I do not find you attractive. I may be judgmental, but I am proud of my judgment...In fact, I am a judgment activist (JA).

Leave me alone, and I will leave you alone. And please stop whining on my favourite blog. And Lindy? if you are so happy with being fat, why are you trying the emotional bullying on Dan? Because you can? Or because you are hurt because deep down you know he is right...I do appreciate that you so much cherish your victimhood, though. I think you may have learned this from Oprah. Please be proud, and stop lashing out publicly, attempting to gain some sympathy.

"you go, girl" may be one of the most foolish expressions I have heard. Go where? Fatter?
Go ahead, if that makes you happy. but I do not think it does...does it?
I disagree
5'9", 263Ib for a man would be disgraceful enough, but for a woman? A woman of 5'9" should be looking to weigh about 150lb tops.
Any fat person, male or female who thinks that being fat is not an impediment to being attractive is seriously kidding tthemselves.
5'9", 263Ib for a man would be disgraceful enough, but for a woman? A woman of 5'9" should be looking to weigh about 150lb tops.
Any fat person, male or female who thinks that being fat is not an impediment to being attractive is seriously kidding tthemselves.
@ 399: You do realize the irony in your statement? Lindy's proclamation of indifference can only come from someone who is clearly OBSESSED about weight. If she didn't care, this post would not exist.

And all the people saying she's not fat? Yes, she is. The truly scary thing about America is how overweight people are, how unhealthy it is, and how willing people are to dismiss it. Disturbing.
Ok. You're fat. Big fucking deal. At least you're not stuck in some Arab country, being killed simply because you want democratic freedoms. Try worrying about a real problem. Ranting about your appearance & particularly how you allow other people make you feel because of your appearance is just stupid shit drivel.
Goodness people

Forget the fat and learn to write without the use of the boring f word.

Our bodies are nothing.

How is your spiritual health.

Life IS eternal after all.
Sorry, Lindy, but somebody who thinks that boiling water poured on a man's penis is "hilarious" -- and then adds insult to injury by referring to the dick in question as very small three different times in only one paragraph -- hasn't really got a moral high ground to stand on vis-a-vis respect for others in print. You've gone all noble on Savage for, in your view, dissing heavy people. What would your reaction have been if he had found, say, pouring boiling water on a breasts to have been hilarious and reveled in the fact that the injured titties were small?

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/penis…
@113 - yes. I was working out 1.5 hours to 2 hours per day, eating as a nutritionist prescribed, and I lost weight. I lost 67 lbs, to be exact. Which got me down to 212 lbs. Where I stayed. Then, when I began to GAIN weight doing that exact same thing, I went to the best weight loss doc/endocrinologist in this Metroplex, who told me, based on his multiple tests, that I simply had the Fat Gene. The people in my family are thin/average kids, slightly thick teenagers, and balloon in early adulthood. We CAN lose weight, but never ever enough weight to be considered thin. We can get THINNER, but not thin. I, too, have a thyroid condition. It's like fighting the tides to remain in the slightly-above-200-lbs category for me, but I do feel better and healthy at that weight, and I can fit in airplane seats just fine, eff you very much. I am strong, healthy, smart, funny and compassionate. And I am beautiful, inside and out, at any size.
People just don't seem to get it AT ALL. I bet we could hit 5K on these comments and people still wouldn't get it.

Other people's bodies are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It's not your business to police other people's weight. YOU don't get to dictate how other people live their lives and that includes what they eat, what they wear, how much they weigh, etc. If you don't like it, SO WHAT!?! Who put you in charge? Every single policeman or hall monitor on this site needs to look in the mirror and manage their own life. I mean, for example, Robert K who made you the arbiter of what a woman should weigh if she's 5'9"? Your comment is absurd and you obviously know NOTHING about what real people weigh. At my thinnest as an adult (and I am 5'5") I weighed 165 and everyone raved about how thin I was. I looked and felt VERY thin. People thought I weighed 120 pounds. They have NO CONCEPT OF REAL WEIGHT. I wore a size 10. A size 0 is the size of a six year old child, people!!!

No matter how unhealthy obesity is (and no one here, including Lindy, including myself is saying obesity is healthy) it is still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS UNLESS YOU ARE DISCUSSING YOUR OWN WEIGHT. It is unbelievable how and why people think they have a right to talk to other people about their bodies (maybe, just MAYBE you have that right if you are in a relationship with that person or that person is your child or your parent or other family - but that's a big maybe). I don't care if you lost weight. I don't care if you think it's easy to lose weight. I don't care if it pisses you off that you have to severely restrict your caloric intake and exercise excessively in order to fit into your skinny jeans - you don't get to turn around and take it out on someone who is fat that just happens to be next to you. You need to mind your own fucking business and leave people alone.

We live in a society that has and continues to insist that women's bodies are public and fit for public consumption and comment. They are not. My body doesn't exist for you to look at and get off on. If you don't like how I look FUCK YOU. You have no right to tell me I need to lose weight or exercise to an extent that meet YOUR criteria. Again, who the hell put you in charge? Mind your own damn business. Focus on yourself. Obsess about your own weight.

The only person that needs to worry about what I am eating and how much I exercise and how much I weigh and how healthy or unhealthy I am is ME. You pointing out how fat I am (in your eyes) and how I don't need to be eating whatever it is you see me eating that you think I shouldn't be eating is completely out of line. I've said it so much that I feel like a broken record (and it's the main point of Lindy's article) - shaming people will not solve the obesity crisis. Bullying people, ostracizing people, discriminating against people, railing against people, hating people, lecturing people, yelling at people, etc. etc. etc. WILL NOT SOLVE THE OBESITY CRISIS.

Yes, people need to eat differently and to include more physical activity (not just exercise, but physical activity) in their daily lives. The food industry needs to be completely changed so that selling addictive and poisonous crap for profit is no longer acceptable. We can all agree on that. But beyond that? What people weigh and how healthy people are is extremely personal and can only be dealt with on a personal basis by each individual focusing on themselves. Everyone needs to keep their mouths shut when it comes to talking about other people. If you don't find fat people attractive, don't date or fuck them. If you don't like fat people and think fat is contagious - don't be friends with fat people. Focus on your own life and live your life as you please AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD OR THE UNIVERSE OR WHATEVER LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE AND LET THEM DO THE SAME.

Why is this such a difficult concept for people to grasp?
@1330 said: "Other people's bodies are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS."

Thank you!
Lindy, you are gorgeous. Also, was it not you who received that neighbor complaint about loud sex? So obviously someone else thinks you're gorgeous and sexy too.

But (you knew it was coming) I am a formerly obese - still hit the BMI at "overweight" after losing 75 lbs - and I was miserable at my previous weight. My knees hurt constantly. I couldn't sleep on my stomach (like sleeping on the peak of a mountain) and I love to sleep on my stomach. I was so ashamed to shop that I had nothing but old, poorly fitting clothes, universally in black (oh it's SOOO slimming).

Now I get up at 5 a.m. and work out every day. Seriously, every day. Last year I scored a sweet work out bag from the Y for working out at least 200 days. I rode the STP last year for the first time. And I'm 46 fucking years old. Yes, I totally rock. I'm awesome. My shit don't stank no more (actually it totally stinks worse).

But my point is, I hated myself fat. I tried to work it through and love me the way I was (and congrats for making it there Lindy, cause that journey has it's own challenges). I had PLENTY of reasons for packing on the pounds - I had a kid with cancer for fuck sake, who ended up pretty seriously disabled, and a failed marriage. So lots and lots of reasons for stress eating/no time to take care of me. And as I mentioned, I'm fucking old.

But again, I hated myself fat, even with those quite-legitimate excuses. So if there's someone out there reading this and thinking, geesh I should get on the fat-acceptance thing and stop hating myself. Well, yeah, but if that doesn't work for you (still hate shopping for clothes, still ashamed to go to parties?) then my message is, CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.

Was it hard? Kind of. I didn't start working out every day. I set a 3X a week goal. I only do exercises that I enjoy (for me that's a lot of rowing in and out of the gym, biking out of the gym - gawd I hate the stationery bike - and the eliptical cause it's easy on my knees and I can read a book while I'm standing there, and I love to read).

And I found a diet that worked for me. There's a key: screw the "latest" advice, find what actually works for you, whether that is Mediterranean, Atkins, Vegan, food-diary, obsessive counting of calories or whatever. Learn to LISTEN TO YOUR VERY OWN BODY and figure out what makes you feel good and what you can maintain. And then get moving so you're burning up more calories each day than you put in. Take all those measurements (OH not my waist! That's so humiliating) so you have the total before/after picture and not just the scale. Give it a month. Seriously give it a fucking month of doing it right and then ask yourself, do I feel better? Have those bloody numbers changed?

But don't do any of this for "society" or "Lindy" or "Dan Savage." Do it for yourself. Do it because maintaining your big body is harder emotionally than working to get it off. And if that's not true, then fuck every one and be big and beautiful, again, for yourself.
@1330 - Amen to people having no idea about weight. I'm 5'9" and when I got my weight down to 195, I was still high up in the "overweight" category on the BMI chart, but people started telling me it was time to stop dieting because I looked like I had cancer.
lol vouching for fatness by blaming disease must mean we are a nation full of diseased mutants.

fat people are unhealthy , skinny people are normal

face it - your skeleton is small , a normal body isnt supposed to differentiate too much from that.

instead yours has football padding and a hoodie on and you claim it as fine.
Way to take Dan out of context and make him your scapegoat so you can justify being overweight. Unless you have a medical condition or are on medications with weight gaining side effects, you can absolutely lose the weight. And exercising in itself won't do anything if you aren't doing the right exercises. And 'eating healthy' in our society- all those fad diets and bullshit- can actually lead to more weight gain. Get your exercise program and diet to be the right one for you, and you won't be obese. And lindy, you are a bitch for ragging on Dan for no good reason other than your own ignorance!
Look, it is great to not feel ashamed of your body. I want that for everyone. But being obese is caused by addiction (either through neglect by not exercising or by poisoning yourself with food). Addictions are sad, gross, and hard to watch. It makes me feel sad and disgusted to watch an obese person shove a donut into their mouth. I feel the same way about a smoker puffing away on a cigarette. Lindy, you GLOAT about having an unhealthy body. That is so disturbing.
Unless you have a medical condition that causes weight gain (like low thyroid), then you are only enabling yourself and others by claiming that you are naturally obese.
Cruel remarks towards fat people are awful and should not be condoned, but I think everyone has the right to voice being disgusted by looking at bodies ravaged by addiction. Dan wasn't picking on fat people, he was pointing out that obesity, like any addiction, is disgusting.
I'm glad you've decided to accept yourself. No one should feel ashamed about themselves. But also accept that short of some medical condition such as thyroid disease, you are fat because you eat bad food and/or you don't get enough exercise, and only you have control over that.

Once upon a time I was in fantastic shape. I worked out 3-4 days a week and I was careful about what I ate. I didn't kill myself. Just steady workouts and every now and then I did indulge in a pizza or burger, but I did not eat them regularly. Then I got lazy, quit working out, and started making too many runs through the fast food drive-through. Within 2 years I'd packed on 50 lbs. So a few months ago after almost a decade of slugdom, I decided it was time to get off my backside and exercise, and quit shoveling high-fat food into my mouth. Within a month I'd lost 13 lbs. And I'm a woman pushing 50 years of age. It ain't easy, but it can be done.

I'm sorry people treat overweight people badly. I know it doesn't help anything. And I do now what it feels like to know that your attractive friend standing next to you is getting way more attention than you are at happy hour. If you or anyone else is truly happy with your size, more power to you. But just as shaming fat people isn't going to make them lose weight, telling the world to fuck off isn't going to change the fact that most people find fit bodies to be more attractive. If you really intend to be happy in an overweight body, you're going to have to ignore most of the world, because it isn't going to change.

For me, it became a matter of health. I don't want to spend the remainder of my life popping pills and/or living with a walker or a wheelchair just because I had no will power when I was younger. I'd kind of like to enjoy my retirement. It isn't rocket science. To lose weight, consume fewer calories than you spend. Learn to find pleasure in something besides food, TV, and other passive activity. It is a huge mental exercise, but it is just that, a mental hurdle to conquer before you can conquer they physical one. Even losing 13 lbs. feels great. Losing 40 more is going to be amazing.
i just want to be apart of this massive amount of comments.
I'm glad you've decided to accept yourself. No one should feel ashamed about themselves. But also accept that short of some medical condition such as thyroid disease, you are fat because you eat bad food and/or you don't get enough exercise, and only you have control over that.

Once upon a time I was in fantastic shape. I worked out 3-4 days a week and I was careful about what I ate. I didn't kill myself. Just steady workouts and every now and then I did indulge in a pizza or burger, but I did not eat them regularly. Then I got lazy, quit working out, and started making too many runs through the fast food drive-through. Within 2 years I'd packed on 50 lbs. So a few months ago after almost a decade of slugdom, I decided it was time to get off my backside and exercise, and quit shoveling high-fat food into my mouth. Within a month I'd lost 13 lbs. And I'm a woman pushing 50 years of age. It ain't easy, but it can be done.

I'm sorry people treat overweight people badly. I know it doesn't help anything. And I do now what it feels like to know that your thinner friend standing next to you is getting way more attention than you are at happy hour. If you or anyone else is truly happy with your size, more power to you. But just as shaming fat people isn't going to make them lose weight, telling the world to fuck off isn't going to change the fact that most people find fit bodies to be more attractive. If you really intend to be happy in an overweight body, you're going to have to ignore those people, because they aren't going to change.

For me, it became a matter of health. I'm not going for size 4, I'm going for size fit. I don't want to spend the remainder of my life popping pills and/or living with a walker or a wheelchair that I could have prevented, just because I had no will power when I was younger. I'd kind of like to enjoy my retirement. It isn't rocket science. To lose weight, consume fewer calories than you spend. Learn to find pleasure in something besides food and passive entertainment. It is a huge mental exercise, but it is just that, a mental hurdle to conquer before you can conquer they physical one. No food is enjoyable as being healthy feels.
It seems a shame not to get to an even number.
Lindy = Awesomest
(Bratpack-style slow clap)
You're not that fat.
To all the obese people who "can't" lose weight although they have tried "everything" ... you might want to start an investigation into what has caused this obesity epidemic. If you look at the data, you will see that the number of people who are obese has TRIPLED in the past fifty years. If this is primarily due to uncontrollable circumstances rather than lifestyle choices, then SOMEONE NEEDS TO PAY!! Something, somewhere, must have gone very wrong in our medical and agricultural worlds for so many people to have been blessed/cursed with obesity.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/over…

On the other hand, if you believe like me that the vast MAJORITY (not all) of obese people are a creation of their own choices regarding food consumption and physical activity, then you will simply acknowledge that you choose to be obese for reasons that you don't have to justify to anyone. You like riding in your car everywhere rather than walking. You like eating a donut for breakfast or hitting up McD's for lunch. And if the result is that you are 5' 9" and weigh 263 pounds, then that's okay, too. But PLEASE don't bore me with the fairytale about how it is simply your "metabolism" that has caused the obesity, because I frankly don't believe that three times as many people have faulty metabolisms today as in 1960.

And by the way, extreme obesity which 5' 9" and 263 pounds qualifies for, went from 0.9% of the population in 1960 to 6.2% in 2006. Again, unless you believe that some environmental evil has caused extreme obesity to jump to 7x its previous level, then you have to conclude that most of those people have made lifestyle choices that get them there. I am not arguing they should be sent to fat camp. They don't have to discuss this personal matter, but it they do I just want them to stop the incessant "metabolism" excuses and acknowledge their choice.
I am personally looking at severe health issues for NOT having lost weight and it crept up & up, now its 100lbs I need to lose! Never mind how it looks., its a HEALTH risk! Fat around the midsection endangers internal organs..eventually they can shut down and then..well you can imagine! I hate to say it, but it can lead to death!! I did not know nor understand much about such things before, but now that I do, it is like too little, too late..as has already happened to me, although Im fighting back any way that I can.,
it may not matter now, to people whom are overweight, and Ive seen very young gals that continue to eat like they're not fat, but it WILL later when its too late. Do NOT keep letting excuses rob you of years of life., currently according to some tests, such as at REALAGEdotcom, I stand to lose about 16yrs of life!..do not let other peoples opinions matter so much that you just rebel by NOT losing., come on! The only person hurt is yourself., the life you lose, is the only one you'll ever have (or not have).
An unprofessional and overly emotional attack on your colleague; shame on you, Lindy. You are apparently so emotional over this subject that you are misunderstanding Dan Savages' posts on this topic.

There are very few people in the world that fall into the category of "impossible to lose weight". I do know one person like this, who has a hormonal problem that is the cause (and even gastric bypass surgery didn't work). I admire that she's learned to love and accept her body and feel attractive, and I hope you reach this point as well, if this is the category that you put yourself into.

Most people who are overweight just really haven't put the effort into the right places - lifestyle changes are very difficult to stick with, especially when one needs to leave behind something that has served as a comfort. It can be done, though. I am 5'2 and went from being 170 to 130, about 5 years ago... I never thought I would be able to lose weight, but I also never realized that I'd never stuck with something long enough to see the results - I'd give up prematurely and say I couldn't lose weight and was never going to be thin. My beloved aunt died at the age of 50 about 15 years ago; she'd reached about 700 pounds and had not left the house during the last 10 years of her life. She refused to talk about her weight with anyone, and cut people out who tried to help. Defending herself didn't help herself; she died and hurt everyone in her family, including me.

I hope you will find the strength to lose the weight you need to lose in order to feel good about yourself, or that if you aren't able to do it for whatever reason, that you reach a point of acceptance about your body. Instead of attacking Dan Savage for his refreshingly honest comments about the obesity epidemic (which are NOT attacks on the obese; you have clearly misunderstood), you should ask him for his help in finding a community where you can meet men who find you beautiful just the way you are.

--Sincerely, A Reader
No way will I read all these comments, and neither will you probably, but in case no one has said it yet, which probably 600 or so already have, Lindy, you are fuckin' HOT!

Rowr!
Amazing.
It shouldn't be about how FAT looks, but what it does to a body! Quit focusing on what people think about how it looks and think about the damage to internal organs, a fatty midsection actually does, it'd be best to focus on educating oneself about this., because as I am founding out perhaps a little too late, is that by not having lost weight way long ago, I have done myself a disfavor. I may have lost several years of life. I see soo many young beautiful girls today, weighing at least 50-100lbs more than they should. Of course, they may not yet feel the damage that is being done, but it WILL come., I am testament of that., and that is considering that I did not even start getting overweight until my mid-30's., so that makes about 20yrs now., not only that, my heavy drinking did even less favors to my health., now I am diabetic, Ive always had high blood pressure which NEVER was stable., and how could it be with all that drinking? Id forget to take my meds, etc.etc., I have been my own worst enemy while taking care of everyone BUT me., Next time you look at a fat person as someone despicable, instead...think of how much they must already hate themselves., they don't need YOUR hate added to the mix. They already know., and I heavily caution those whom are overweight, and don't do anything about it, to do themselves a favor, TODAY, since we all know that that wonderful creamy delicious ice cream doesn't taste as good as would a NICE trim HEALTHY figure.
NOW IF WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN IS CONSIDERED "HATE MAIL" WELL then that is just another excuse, because I have already stated that I am also very much overweight, about 100lbs, and the way it looks is less important that doing something about it., yes I know that some gals have tried, (so have I) and failed, over and over., I am not putting them down or I'd be doing the same to myself., got it? BUT, I can say that HONESTY is critical., HONESTLY I didn't lose weight and I can blame noone but myself., I hate the word TRY..because it leaves the possibility of failure., what IS imperative is that whatever it is that is started, MUST be followed to its end., and I haven't done that., so how smart is it to start a program, and then STOP? Just because it isn't happening fast enough? Come on..if I had stuck with all the programs I started, I'd of lost all of my weight ten years ago! Fat girls, or guys, lets be HONEST for once., tempation has been stronger than resolve to lose., is a FACT., and olny YOU can change that., dont blame others that dislike how you look, forget them! Remember YOU.
And fuck yes I'm objectifying! Boo hoo!
fuck off lindy
There, does your ego feel all better now?

Self-centered twit.
If you can't see your toes, how are you gonna tell if you need foot fungus creme?
I am fat.

I am male.

Who's advocating for me?
I don't mean to step on toes here, but, it seems like male body image issues are pretty invisible.

I know objectification can be bad, but, you know, I bet it feels nice to know that someone likes how you look.
Late to the party, but Lindy you're awesome. I know you know you're awesome and I've always thought you were awesome, but this post makes you even more awesome (I have just learned that this is possible! MIND BLOWN!!!).

Also @1326 - I bet you're one of those people who get upset when people smile because there are starving children and how can one be happy when innocents are suffering, M I RITE? Fucking douchebag.
Who said fat people aren't sensitive?
Whew! Does everybody feel better now? Is that a wrap?
MOTHER FUCKING SLOW CLAP. Thank you for this.
Last.
Love it, you've said it all. I concur being kind, sensitive, encouraging and supportive of oursleves and others is practicing good mental health habits. So important in overall scheme of things. Stay amazing
You are absolutely gorgeous in that photo, by the way. Wow! Love the curves, don't change a thing.
It seems that being listed on the most commented list is a source of some pride for Stranger writers. But I noticed that this post doesn't appear on the most commented list anymore. Why?
@922: You are assuming that all fat people are fat b/c they overeat, are addicted to food, or don't know/care about health risks. I think that if people continually respond to Lindy's article by focusing on the health risks of being overweight, they are continually missing the point of her article; I do not think that you as an individual with overweight friends (thanks for qualifying your authority on the matter!) are not empathetic. And as I emphasized before, I know, WE ALL are aware of the health concerns, so let's please move on to the actual point of Lindy's article...

which is about the social consequences of being overweight in America, and how discrimination against overweight people is often masked simply as "health concerns". Loving one's body, being loved, finding happiness, enjoying life, etc etc should never be directly tied to being thin.
whoops, meant @926, the little sparrow.

must go to bed now!
Wow. Thank you. I truly needed this post today. Thank you for sticking up for the voiceless women who don't know yet how much our society is hurting them and are still stuck in the shame-cycle. The young girls who have never been told that they are anything but fat and need to lose weight to be loved, be successful, be happy. For those of us who are older and should know better, but still struggle under the burden of being "too fat" in this society. Thank you for reminding me that my resolve to "not care" has been shaky as of late and providing a much needed boost.
Point of order, 254 - gay men suffer from this as intensely as women, because we are BOTH trying to attract men (or a reasonable facsimile thereof).

Until those of us who don't mind being large finally stopped listening to people who wanted to tell us how we had to look. I'm full on with Lindy on this - and I'm glad she's come to this same conclusion. No one gets to tell us who we have to be.
Lindy is sexy, and I would love to do it to her all day, and all damn night long... HARD! I would totally pound her pussy into submission, and obliterate it, and de-fucking-STROY it, Baby! YEAH!
Lindy West is sexy, and I would love to do it to her all day, and all damn night long... HARD! I would totally pound her pussy into submission, and obliterate it, and de-fucking-STROY it, Baby! YEAH!
I found this linked through someone else's blog and I appreciate this so much. I was a dancer most of my young life and being slender was a big deal in that world. I was always bigger, but I could dance just as well as the rest of them. In fact, I often won performance awards over the skinnier girls.
I started university this year and gained the freshman fifteen. I was having a really bad "fat day" today, but reading this made me realize how much bullshit there is out there about weight. I am healthy, I am just not stick thin.
Thank you thank you thank you. You are gorgeous inside and out.
does he think he's winning by not giving in? by pretending he didn't mean that? why doesn't he just fucking say he was wrong. why doesn't he just thank you for bringing this perspective. he's not winning, you just won, game, set, match. it was a privilege to read this post, you are an inspiration
I think I am a johnny-come-lately, and admit to not having read Savage's response to this trulty wonderful post (thanks Lindy!), but, while I think it is good to call out the asshole-in-chief, er, editor of our favorite local gossip rag, I think that if we look at Dan's reactions to fat people, trans people, and other folks that don't fit Dan's privileged, liberal world.

The idea that people can just try harder, the bootstrap mythos, works really well for those who are no longer quite facing as much oppression as they used to be facing. It is, and always has been really nice to feel like we are better than someone, anyone, else. This is built in to the logic of capitalism, and Dan (and the stranger) certainly want nothing to do with actually confronting that.

Is this a comment on your post or just hate mail for Dan Savage and the Stranger? I don't know or care. But I appreciate your having written what you've written Lindy, and please keep it up.
Wow! This is so inspiring! As an overweight woman myself, I have only ever been critiqued and bullied about my figure; even from friends and family. Every day of my life is spent with my own mum telling me how no one in society will accept me because of my unnatural figure. I have to thank you greatly for posting this, and giving me a new insight onto how to live my life. If only people understood that big people need love and not criticism everyday of their lives...
How is being gay not a choice? If you're a man, don't have sex with men, have sex with women instead. If you're a woman, don't have sex with women, have sex with men instead. Where is the trick? So you may still have feelings that go against nature, like eating when you're fat goes against nature. If you're hungry, don't act on it--you can be normal If you're gay--don't act on it, you can be normal.
Thank you - thank you - thank you Lindy. I wish all teenaged girls who listen to the bullshit and start killing themselves to fit the ideal could read this - and be free from the amount of unchecked stupid that exists in this society.
no,that's not true.Im sorry but I really tried it,like you said I tried diets whole my life.Im only 19 and sometimes I stop and ask myself : Why do I have to suffer so much just because I love eating things.Im not a girl who eats everything she finds,or too many food.I just love high calory things,junk food too much.Its like I've been trapped.And last year I said I quit,I just quit.And guess what happens ? another 20 pounds,cracks all over my body,I cant roll my sleeves.My feet does have a problem with bearing me all day,they sometimes hurt.What should I do ? I quit and eat and the result : ı am UNHAPPY.I diet all the time and the result is i am UNHAPPY.sometimes I just want to close myself somewhere and wait there until I die.
Know what? Fuck fat acceptance! You don't have to accept that your fat. I was pretty fat last summer, weighing in at 235 lbs at 5'11". When I took off my shirt I looked like a fucking beached whale and people would look at me and laugh. One day I took a long look at myself in the mirror and realized the person that I saw was not who I wanted to be. I decided to run every day, lift weights and eat properly and guess what? I lost weight, I got smaller, and life did get better. When you finally realize you can't live life to the fullest when you are as overweight as you probably are then maybe you can achieve what you never even thought was possible before.
THANK YOU, LINDY!!! THAT WAS THE MOST INFLUENTIAL YET NON-PERSONAL BIT OF WISDOM THAT I'VE HEARD IN YEARS!!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK & CONTINUE TO ENCOURAGE THOSE OF US THAT NEEDED THAT INSPIRATIONAL VITAMIN!!!! XO!!!
Really great post. Weight is weight and health is something else. Dan Savage has some real issues - I honestly don't think he likes women very much, or bisexuals for that matter. I personally can say for sure that when I was thinner, I was much *less* healthy because it was the result of an exercise disorder, and I think some of the points you make are really relevant about how we treat our bodies and how they have to be able to support us through life. I also know from experience that life isn't necessarily better and doesn't start when we're *thin* - it's a myth we even sometimes buy when we lose weight and then blame ourselves if everything else isn't fixed. It sells products, but creates unreasonable expectations.
Really great post. Weight is weight and health is something else. Dan Savage has some real issues - I honestly don't think he likes women very much, or bisexuals for that matter. I personally can say for sure that when I was thinner, I was much *less* healthy because it was the result of an exercise disorder, and I think some of the points you make are really relevant about how we treat our bodies and how they have to be able to support us through life. I also know from experience that life isn't necessarily better and doesn't start when we're *thin* - it's a myth we even sometimes buy when we lose weight and then blame ourselves if everything else isn't fixed. It sells products, but creates unreasonable expectations.
Just wanted to say that I loved reading this! Great job!
I love it. Shame is NOT helping. I smoked for 20 years, and once I got over the shame that went with it, I quit. Cold turkey. No side effects, help, gum, chews, support groups... nothing. I didn't even put on (more) weight.

I am also overweight. I don't hate myself for it, but I do want to change because it stops me from being physically able to do things that I want to do. But I was doing it wrong. I can't be ashamed.

Thanks.
I can't believe the hypocrisy of this:
"It's my body, I don't have to justify its awesomeness/attractiveness/healthiness/usefulness to anyone, because it is MINE"
Why are you writing the article then?!
You aren't even a good writer; your review of 'Synecdoche, New York' cemented you as a brick in the wall of the greatest idiots that publication has ever known.
You're beautiful.
Stop eating cheeseburgers.
You shouldn't accept being fat because IT IS a health risk. And you are killing yourself. And the only thing I am disgusted with is your ignorance. Good for you to be happy in your own skin but lose weight for your health not for looks. And of course their are people out there that think it is disgusting to be overweight. So suck it up and stop trying to be proud. Do what is best for yourself and stop thinking about others.
Thank you
I know that your goal is not to win other people's approval, and you in no way need me to say this, but I'm jealous of your ankles. Just sayin'. And I'm being totally serious, because I am not fat, but I do have cankles.

(I agree with your point, and I'm happy you are happy with yourself. The world would be a better place if everyone could just love themselves. Then they could love other people too.)
So basically you are made of pure awesome. :).
I used to be so skinny - then I had a hysterectomy. I started taken hormone replacements and gained weight.....but still looked good. Then I developed arthritis and could not walk as much as I had before, could NOT LONGER RUN, or work out like I had...began having to take steroids at times, which pack the pounds on me...I became depressed and started taking antidepressants, which added pounds onto my body, I was anxious, so I started taking valium, which I think adds pounds, due to stress, I noticed I was wanting to snack a lot more, even when I was not hungry.......before I knew it, I am at 180 pounds. I weigh more than my boyfriend does and he is about 8 inches taller than I am. I hate being FAT...but I can see my life illnesses/medication has played a big part in that. SOOO, now it is my mission to stop taking as many meds as I can - especially the steroids...that is a given...they always add 5 to 10 pounds that are so hard to get off.....pain meds slow me down, BUT....if I could lose 50 pounds I probably would not need the pain pills. I called my insurance company today to see about lap band surgery. I am under the BMI just barely, but they have to pay more out in ankle surgery, may need my other ankle done, who knows about my back...I have had a heart attack and have high blood pressure and high cholesterol....I do not even take the meds for all of that as I can't afford all the meds I NEED...but if my BMI was just a little bit higher, I could get the lapband...is so stupid!!!
I'm a million years late to the fray.

But 263 pounds is too much; that much weight will definitely kill you before you are ready for it.
You're right, diets don't work.

Lifestyle changes do.

You shouldn't have to settle for being overweight and the health problems that come along with it. One of my good friends has been borderline obese his entire life, and was fine with it, until he went to the doctor who told him that he was pre-diabetic.

He made the effort to join weight watchers, is going to the gym regularly, and is pulling himself back from the brink of "pre-diabetes".

You can't just starve yourself for a certain amount of time to lose weight, and expect to go back to the way you do things now and expect to keep that off.

The way I see it, being healthy is not about how much you weigh, but about how you treat your body. Treat it well, feed it healthy things in healthy amounts, exercise it, and it will be good to you. You don't have to be stick thin or toned up the wazoo to be healthy. But being overweight is never healthy. Examine your lifestyle and start making little changes to it. Changes that you will stick to. THAT works. Diets don't.
The more overweight people insist publicly that they love their bodies and they don't need to apologize for it, the more self-conscious it makes them look.

And quit aligning yourself with homosexuals - people are BORN gay! There's no comparison. It's not your sexuality, it's fat. You can do something about it. Why don't you have empathy for gay people and NOT compare being a size 14 to being denied basic human rights by your own government?

Quit contributing to this ever-growing culture of victimhood. You now represent the majority of Americans, so you're not a minority, and you're annoying the crap out of those of us who don't want an entire generation eating their way to premature death.
The more overweight people insist publicly that they love their bodies and they don't need to apologize for it, the more self-conscious it makes them look.

And quit aligning yourself with homosexuals - people are BORN gay! There's no comparison. It's not your sexuality, it's fat. You can do something about it. Why don't you have empathy for gay people and NOT compare being a size 14 to being denied basic human rights by your own government?

Quit contributing to this ever-growing culture of victimhood. You now represent the majority of Americans, so you're not a minority, and you're annoying the crap out of those of us who don't want an entire generation eating their way to premature death.
Lindy, thank you. I have struggled with my self esteem about my weight gain since I quit dancing and I always feel like people are staring at me and making fun of me. I'm not that large at all in comparison to how tall I am, but the gain was hard for me because I was literally small enough to fit in 00 pants and extra small shirts until I was 12. It wasn't until recently when my friend yelled at me for being so down on myself that I realized that the way I was thinking was destructive. This article has helped further that understanding that all women are made differently and there is really no specific shape that is deemed most beautiful in the world. I don't care what others say, especially those negative people who have to cut down others to feel better about themselves. Every woman is beautiful the way they are and it has nothing to do with the size of your jeans but everything to do with the person you are in that body. Thank you for helping me on my journey to accepting myself. You are a beautiful person.
http://Challengeinfo.bodybyvi.com/
I have an issue with the whole pro-fat, fat acceptance movement. Fat acceptance gives people the idea that its okay to be fat and let yourself go- yes, there are people who are predispositioned to be overweight and probably cannot change it but to be honest if you look at the statistics obesity in the 1st world is a modern phenomenon of being surrounded by calorie rich, nutrient deficient food and gorging on it. Poor people in america are more likely to be fat than wealthier people because they don't take care of themselves and buy crap. its not healthy to be quite frank, and promoting fat acceptance in my book is like promoting diabetes acceptance- its not okay, both obesity and diabetes are preventable diseases (two very interdependent ones I might add.) People are ashamed of being diabetic and most diabetics cannot change their disposition but what got them there for the most part is just letting themselves go, not disciplining themselves, or their kids, and they now are stuck and are embarrassed with themselves. if you're all about the pro-fat shit you're just kidding yourself just to make you feel better about yourself. It's not an issue about "society's body image" pro fat pro skinny blahablah, its about being healthy and not slowly killing yourself.
Obesity is not a maybekindof subjective label to make people feel bad about themselves- its a real life disease that leads to heart failure, kidney failure, strokes, diabetes upon a whole slew of things. you can't tell me 60 percent of the population suddenly popped up a thyroid issue- the issue is with the person themselves.
Pro-fat is cute when you're a teenager and gorge on "Doritos" and just get chubbier with no consequences but when you're 60 and being hauled in the back of an ambulance because your heart can barely pump blood through your 300 lbs, you're not going to be complaining about fat shaming; its going to be able how hard it is to catch your breath or the 3 page list of medications you take for your condition. Its not funny and I am not trying to sass, I see too many people sent to the hospital for completely preventable conditions. Take care of yourselves, and good luck in the future.
I have the combo of qualities that made it easier for me to lose weight: perfectionism and an ability to delay gratification. Except I realized that I will never be happy, now that I am "skinny": I ALWAYS delay happiness. I can't relax and enjoy life. So being skinny didn't make me happy. It just brought out those control freak aspects of my personality, and I can't get rid of them. I can't drink a glass of wine or enjoy Sunday pancakes without worrying about WHAT IT MEANS for my body. Why am I so afraid of weighing a normal weight? I think all people are beautiful, and I actually think that people that aren't stick thin are more beautiful and sexy. But obviously I am somehow affected by some weird motivation to be fat-less. I don't think that this is "healthier" than being overweight...

I spend more time thinking and worrying about my weight than doing anything useful. What a waste.

I am so jealous of you for loving your body and your self.
"Dan Savage" = "The oily and bile-filled scat from a person who takes Orlistat-based diet pills."
I am female. 26 years old. I weighted 212lbs three years ago.
Then I became vegan. I did't eat less, but other things. In the first year I lost 21lbs. Slowly.
Second year I started jogging. Every day - half hour.
Today my weight is 156lbs.

Sorry, my english is not the best. :)
Would people please stop making the false assumption that weight loss is simple? It is actually far from it.
Yes, I understand that Shape magazine and Men's Health have told you that all you need to worry about it calories in and calories out. As others have pointed out this is hardly a valuable tool for a diverse population- different individuals will have different resting metabolisms which will significantly impact whether out not the calories in, calories out method works.
Step away from the calories. For example, consider how successful paleo, primal and low carb diets have been for some even though they are can be incredibly high in calories, particularly from fats and proteins.
That being said, there is no simple SUSTAINABLE solution to weight loss that is applicable at a systemic level. And weight is a poor correlate for overall health. Don't believe me, research the sketchy history of the Body Mass Index (BMI) which incidentally was never intended to be a diagnostic of individual health but a measure of a populations health.
Health is a subjective product. When the National Institutes of Health modified the "overweight" category in the body mass index in 1997, millions of Americans became obese overnight. Before this shift, according to the BMI, 68 million were overweight or obese; after, that number increased to 96 million.
This is not to say that good health is not a goal worth pursuing, which I don't believe to be Lindy's point either. But rather "health" is not a universal medical truth, it means different things for different people.Health does not have a direct relationship with weight but rather blood pressure, blood sugar etc. and other measures that CORRELATE (but do not demonstrate direct causal relationship with weight). Therefore get off your effing high horse, and stop making poor presumptions about others health based solely on what the media has told you (when you have done no research or have only your own singular experience experiences to rely on because anecdotes are not science).

Show a little love.

Beautiful post Lindy and something that should resonate with everyone, regardless of size.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are many men who find women like you highly attractive. Don't ever forget that.
1. Keep away from processed foods
South Beach Smoke... Our e cigs contain none of the unhealthy components found in traditional cigarettes. You won't find carbon monoxide, carcinogens, tar, ash or tobacco. When you take a puff you're not exposing yourself, or anyone else, to carcinogens, tobacco or ash, because you're simply exhaling pure water vapor 30 Day money back guarantee http://tiny.cc/k8nea
Sorry, but, as has been stated in previous comments, you can't compare prejudice towards fat people to prejudice towards gay people. Fat people aren't raped and killed for because they are fat. Fat people can marry. Fat people don't suffer from institutionalized hate and discrimination. And most of all, fat people can stop being fat, while gay people cannot stop being gay. Your completely fixable weight problem can't be compared to the struggle of the LGBT community.

And if someone is grossed out by your disgusting fat rolls and thinks they are ugly, that's their right, just like it's your right to be fat should you choose.
I think this Dan bloke got turned down by a Fat Woman sometime in his life and hes never got over it ....
Your body is not disgusting, just as long as you keep it well-clothed (i.e. covered). You are, however, sexually useless, unattractive, a wobbling waddling blimpy-the-beluga-land-whale.
LAST!!!

    Please wait...

    Comments are closed.

    Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


    Add a comment
    Preview

    By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.