Blogs Feb 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Comments

404
I think your point about loving your body was the best one. When you seek a result out of love rather than shame, you're more likely to reach that result. We all need to remember that. Thanks for making it. And for being awesome. And hey, thanks for being fat. It's not that bad.
405
Congrats on being spot on with #400, FirstTimeCommenter. I don't think Dan has an editor any more, so he and we are lucky he has a subordinate colleague with not just the courage, but with such sharply honed writing skills in the service of a first-class mind, to step to him.

I believe this will end not in tears but in a dance-off, with videography by Kelly O if we're very lucky.
406
@394, Kim in Portland: I feel obligated to register an objection to your methods. While I recognize the irony of decrying unsolicited advice just a few posts earlier, you did tell me to disagree ...

You seem happy with your modus operandi, and it probably works very well for you. However, please recognize that for many people, a display of unconditional love (including unconditional acceptance, or tolerance) in the face of objectively destructive behavior is counterproductive. It may be more warranted for children and family members, but I believe that your position of neutrality on an admittedly painful issue offers more hurt than it does help.

This doesn't mean others get the right to be cruel in their criticism, but your response @348 is most easily interpreted as a defense of his actions. Mr. Savage has gone far beyond sharing the occasional anecdote, and the point of Ms. West's article is that he needs to mind his own business. If you disagree with that, I'd like to see some reasoning from your erudite mind on why such demonstrably hurtful behavior is acceptable.

Enjoy your weekend, also.
407
Yayyyyy! This was such an awesome, inspiring, and well-written post. A pleasure to read. Thanks!
408
Well, I care about people consuming more than they need to for health and environmental reasons. Being fat is simple. Too many calories in, not enough calories burned. If you aren't losing weight, you aren't exercising enough or calculating your calories for your body. You don't need to feed yourself at the first pang of hunger.. And you don't need to consume so much. It's stressful on your body, and the planet. Knock it off and stop telling yourself it's OK. As kind of a bigger girl, who was a lot bigger at one time, (270! Eeek! Ick!), I get SICK AND TIRED of fat people sitting around, patting each other on the back and saying, "OMG! I can't lose weight either! It must be some kind of conspiracy!" No, it's not a conspiracy, you just have to not be a total retard and eat burgers and shakes and then wonder why you're fat. Geezeeess. I'm all about loving your body, even if you're fat or thin or whatever, but you shouldn't be confused or in denial about why you are fat or what it does to your body. Sometimes, people harp on you because they GIVE A SHIT and don't want you to die of a heart attack or stroke, the same way they harp on drug addicts to stop doing drugs because it will kill them. Over eating is an addiction, just like drugs, and it can be stopped, just like drugs. You're not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by promoting a "positive attitude" about something that is potentially lethal. Wake the fuck up.
409
Well, I care about people consuming more than they need to for health and environmental reasons. Being fat is simple. Too many calories in, not enough calories burned. If you aren't losing weight, you aren't exercising enough or calculating your calories for your body. You don't need to feed yourself at the first pang of hunger.. And you don't need to consume so much. It's stressful on your body, and the planet. Knock it off and stop telling yourself it's OK. As kind of a bigger girl, who was a lot bigger at one time, (270! Eeek! Ick!), I get SICK AND TIRED of fat people sitting around, patting each other on the back and saying, "OMG! I can't lose weight either! It must be some kind of conspiracy!" No, it's not a conspiracy, you just have to not be a total retard and eat burgers and shakes and then wonder why you're fat. Geezeeess. I'm all about loving your body, even if you're fat or thin or whatever, but you shouldn't be confused or in denial about why you are fat or what it does to your body. Sometimes, people harp on you because they GIVE A SHIT and don't want you to die of a heart attack or stroke, the same way they harp on drug addicts to stop doing drugs because it will kill them. Over eating is an addiction, just like drugs, and it can be stopped, just like drugs. You're not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by promoting a "positive attitude" about something that is potentially lethal. Wake the fuck up.
410
That was an amazing thing to read. It took hella balls to post it. Thank you.
411
Whoa. Lindy I admire you chutzpah for being able to go after your boss like that, and often enjoy your musings but the way this post was executed raises an eyebrow. I hope you are ok. I won’t presume the nature of inter-personal relationships at the Slog HQ, but I also hope that that is ok (or not depending I guess).

Since you wrote this in Lindy-about-town-style-mode I can’t really tell if this is a put on by the both of you or you are being somewhat tongue-in-cheek. If this is totally legit then I’d say it’s clear that you’re very affected by a sense of discrimination and/or hostility in the workplace. And that’s not good.

I don’t want to thump on journalistic ethics aspect, since this is a blog, and you guys are known for shticky stuff sometimes (which I do appreciate!), but yeah this is a little disconcerting. This made even more so by the amount of other Stranger staff members that seem to be echoing your concerns.

Not to be too critical, but if you are going to publicly level accusations of discrimination and hostile work environment through your work product itself that happens to be a newspaper you actually should probably be providing “the links” or at least your argument in as a cohesive and contextual manner as possible. The way it stands right now you’ve left things largely implied, or based largely on personal sentiment drawn from feelings of angst, and self-loathing that’s been mixed or subsumed into a kind of self-affirmation. Unfortunately though the skeptic in me is in the corner of my mind wondering whether or not you're on the warpath towards a straw-man fallacy or projection, which really only gets fully dispelled if I'm willing to undertake a research project (which I'm not at the moment).

I dunno I’m on cold meds so my perception may be off a bit, but I do dig your stuff, I sincerely hope you are doing ok, and that everything works out.
412
403 - you're turning a "What Dan Said" argument into a "What Dan Is" argument, which is intellectually dishonest. You also use that as a platform to use judgmental and ableist language, which is more than just a little infuriating.

You can bang your keyboard until the muscles in your arms bulge like firehoses about what Dan intends, what he feels, what he thinks, and what his innermost warm feelings are towards fat people, but what he SAID was things like
______

I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as "hate speech."
______

In the absence of the crystal ball you seem to possess, the rest of us simply have to deal with the words someone specifically chooses to represent their thoughts, and Dan apparently thinks that "rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" somehow represents some kind of objective truth. It doesn't. A subjective opinion is not a statement of fact, and what he said was harmful, ignorant, and unjust, and trying to defend what he IS to shout us down for pointing out what he SAID is disingenuous. Stop it.
413
403 - you're turning a "What Dan Said" argument into a "What Dan Is" argument, which is intellectually dishonest. You also use that as a platform to use judgmental and ableist language, which is more than just a little infuriating.

You can bang your keyboard until the muscles in your arms bulge like firehoses about what Dan intends, what he feels, what he thinks, and what his innermost warm feelings are towards fat people, but what he SAID was things like
______

I am thoroughly annoyed at having my tame statements of fact—being heavy is a health risk; rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly—characterized as "hate speech."
______

In the absence of the crystal ball you seem to possess, the rest of us simply have to deal with the words someone specifically chooses to represent their thoughts, and Dan apparently thinks that "rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" somehow represents some kind of objective truth. It doesn't. A subjective opinion is not a statement of fact, and what he said was harmful, ignorant, and unjust, and trying to defend what he IS to shout us down for pointing out what he SAID is disingenuous. Stop it.
414
@37 Wrong. a person does not have complete control over being fact. there are many factors involved. top of the list genetics. you can't pick you fucking DNA you idiot
415
I'm going to bet that Dan will do the same thing he did during the "Tard Supper" fiasco:

He will never mention it, never acknowledge that he is wrong, and will take it off the most commented page as soon as he thinks he can get away with it. (Is anyone foolish enough to take that bet?)

Which really, really disappoints me, because I really like Dan and wish that he had more emotional maturity than a 5 year old. It's GOOD to admit when you are wrong. It's GOOD to examine your prejudices.

He needed to apologize for the "Tard Supper", and he needs to apologize for the years of "fat people, eeeeew!"
416
Is anyone else worried this will be Lindy's "I Quit" moment?
417
Dear Dan Savage

Give Lindy a raise ASAP.

Thanks
418
So beautiful.
419
As most fat people, you are stupid, angry, mentally lazy and passive-aggressive. Nothing attractive about that, and men don't like it, no.

Also, there was not a single fat person in the chronicles from the liberation of Nazi death camps. So no, you are lying and nobody is doomed to stay fat forever. You are fat first in your head, and then in your body.

How do I know? I've been like you. Not anymore.
420
As most fat people, you are stupid, angry, mentally lazy and passive-aggressive. Nothing attractive about that, and men don't like it, no.

Also, there was not a single fat person in the chronicles from the liberation of Nazi death camps. So no, you are lying and nobody is doomed to stay fat forever. You are fat first in your head, and then in your body.

How do I know? I've been like you. Not anymore.
421
i call bullshit. i'm 50 pounds overweight and have been so for a few years. i've "tried" to lose it again and again, but if i'm being honest with myself i haven't failed to succeed just because i'm "incapable," i flat out gave up on myself time and again because i couldn't say no to cheeseburgers and chinese food and potato chips.

NO ONE is happy being overweight, they're just deluding themselves that they're content because it's easier to justify and excuse your flaws than to own up to them and accept that you need to change. it's not fun, sexy, or any kind of acceptable to be incapble of doing simple, everyday tasks like walking down the street or up a flight of stairs without getting winded. no one feels good searching high and low for something that camouflages those rolls that you claim are only "subjectively unsightly" or going to a "special" store to buy clothes that are made for their giant frame. and honestly, it's a pain in the ass to constantly play the victim to people telling you either directly or indirectly that you are unnacceptable and need to change (because you do!). more than anything though, it sucks knowing that all it takes to make you feel powerless and out of control is readily available junk food, because until you actually admit to and take control of the problem, you're that junk food's bitch because you just can't say no.

i've seen the effects of long-term obesity first-hand and they are horrible. being overweight is a pain, a struggle, and honestly, a constant guilt-trip. i hate living with the possibility that some day i'm going to wake up and realize that irreparable and PREVENTABLE damage has been done to my body and my health that will shorten and ruin the quality of life for myself and for my loved ones. but i'm not going to give up on myself because one day i want to be proud and in charge of my body instead of having it dictate what i am and am not capable of doing.

so to anyone who claims to be proud of or happy with their body or existence: stop kidding yourselves. if you could snap your fingers and be thin, you would do it in a heartbeat; the only reason you don't is because it's a hell of a lot harder than that and you can't take it. don't act like this is some proud declaration or protest against societal norms; it's someone pretending that their choice to be fat (or rather, the choice NOT to be thin) is a biological imperative rather than a treatable condition. give me a break.

and as for those people who you claim have a "complete lack of empathy" just because they point out the cold, hard facts about a person's condition, i don't have much to say except-- again-- bullshit.
422
Lindy, you look great.. your body looks great.. you are a very attractive woman.. i congratulate on your courage and wisdom to accept yourself as you are and not allow others to pressure or shame you.

Sadly weight can take its toll on our bodies with age .. like anything our bodies suffer wear and tear over the years and its important that regardless of weight, that we look after our health.. for the sake of our health and well being and prolonged life.

I am much much fatter then you, and at 50 i am now suffering the side effects of being older and heavier.. i am proud of myself and my body.. but i need to find the motivation to lose some weight for health reasons not asthetic reasons..

as with everything in life.. i belief the key to true happiness is balance.. and doing what is right for you ... don't live the life others have planned for you.. live the life that brings you fulfillment and joy.

i wish you well :)

423
Lindy, you look great.. your body looks great.. you are a very attractive woman.. i congratulate on your courage and wisdom to accept yourself as you are and not allow others to pressure or shame you.

Sadly weight can take its toll on our bodies with age .. like anything our bodies suffer wear and tear over the years and its important that regardless of weight, that we look after our health.. for the sake of our health and well being and prolonged life.

I am much much fatter then you, and at 50 i am now suffering the side effects of being older and heavier.. i am proud of myself and my body.. but i need to find the motivation to lose some weight for health reasons not asthetic reasons..

as with everything in life.. i belief the key to true happiness is balance.. and doing what is right for you ... don't live the life others have planned for you.. live the life that brings you fulfillment and joy.

i wish you well :)
424
high five, lindy dude! and you know what? fuck anybody who says you're gross OR who says you're sexy. A body is a body is a body and it does what it does, it doesn't make a person worthy or unworthy of pleasure or sex or calories or money or god's love or an ant farm. or whatever. fat is not a fucking moral issue. fat is not even a fucking aesthetic issue, it's mostly just a jerk issue that some people have to actually live with.
425
TLDR, but the comment thread is going like the deficit clock.
426
@419 and @420 As most double-posting people, you are stupid, angry, mentally lazy and passive-aggressive. Nothing attractive about that, and men don't like it, no.

Good luck in your next life as a Chrysomya Megacephala...

427
@409: I consume fewer calories than my marathon running best friend. I wear out fewer clothes too. I recycle, and compost. Your bullshit assumptions about the impact on the world of fat people is just that, bullshit.

To the various folks who suggest it's a choice: Would you be OK with people saying "Blondes are just gross. I mean, ewwww." Or "Mormons are just icky." After all, it's a hell of a lot easier to change your hair color or religion than change your weight.

I don't want you to be attracted to me, if you don't want to be. But keep your negative news
428
@427 fwiw, mormons ARE just icky. heh heh heh, me, trolling.
429
@409: I consume fewer calories than my marathon running best friend. I wear out fewer clothes too. I recycle, and compost. I work out 3x a week. Oh, and just because it's funny, my cholesterol levels are perfect, my best friend is on statins. My health is just fine, and my impact on the world is no more than a thin person's. Your bullshit assumptions about the impact on the world of fat people is just that, bullshit.

To the various folks who suggest it's a choice: Would you be OK with people saying "Blondes are just gross. I mean, ewwww." Or "Mormons are just icky." After all, it's a hell of a lot easier to change your hair color or religion than change your weight. Yes, it's my choice not to devote 2-3 hours a day to exercising.

I don't want you to be attracted to me, if you don't want to be. But much like it's not OK to call out gays for showing affection for each other, people with bad skin for having that, or any other personal characteristic, it's rude to call out fat people for being unattractive or unhealthy. Especially when you know nothing of their health.
430
I find it amazing that there are over 400 comments and none of them contain the words "Europe" or "Japan". DNA makes about 3% of people fat, not 30%. Eating burgers does not make you fat. Let me repeat that: EATING BURGERS DOES NOT MAKE YOU FAT. However, eating American portions of burgers with a mountain of fries on the side over a period of ten years does make you fat. People in France eat all kinds of fatty foods, yet they do not have America's obesity problem. They call it the "French paradox", although it's only a paradox to Americans and Lindy West.
431
@430: 431 comments now, and you're hardly the only person to miss the primary points of Lindy's excellent piece here: 1) The fact that you aren't attracted to fat people doesn't make it right for you to publicly harass them; 2) America's epidemiological issues are not Lindy's personal responsibility, and 3) Under no circumstances does shame "help" a fat person who actually does want to be thin.

Of course, by the same logic, I should probably realize that shaming you for being stupid won't really help you. Sorry.
432
@430... really... well if you read this it's kind of embarrassing... for you... and your completely wrong statement...

http://www.dailyfinance.com/story/france…

oh and your statement about Europe... look at Germany... and England... and well pretty much everywhere in the world...

http://www.expatify.com/news/the-worlds-…

always remember... check the google before opening mouth and inserting foot...

433
@432: The first article you link to has no analysis and is fairly worthless.

The second is irrelevant.
434
@289: I absolutely did read it. Maybe you didn't really understand what I was saying or maybe we got different things out of Lindy's post.

I took Lindy's post as "Yes I'm fat. But you're an asshole for thinking being fat is a bad thing. Being fat and being thin are equally valid states of being. Both are attractive, only societally induced biases lead people to thinking fat isn't attractive." She didn't play the victim card as heavily as some Fat Acceptance movement people, but she did play the victim card. Especially with that final bit about how once she accepted her body she started losing weight. That also suggested that losing weight was some mystery that nobody can do deliberately and only happens through magical fairy dust of self love.

I disagreed strongly with Lindy's post, but rather than just dissect it point by point, I decided to share my own view on the subject.
435
All the fat people here on a Friday night that had nothing to do and nobody to do it with, circle jerking each other got the comments up over 430.

It will be interesting when other healthy, active individuals join the conversation this morning and in the coming days.
436
You are a hero!
437
Lots of people try really hard not to be fat - SOMETIMES because they have a specific health reason, but mostly because the world tells them being fat is bad. Lots of people also try really hard not to be gay, because their world tells them being gay is bad. Pretty much anybody who's watched the news in the last year knows that isn't working out so well for people.

The only "healthy" way to live is whatever makes you the healthiest (and yes, that includes mental health) version of the real you - whether the real you is programmed to be fat, gay, or any of a whole host of other things that, after a certain point, we can't fight, and shouldn't try. Some people are going to have more fat on their bodies than others no matter how much they try to torture themselves into a different shape than the one they were born with. And the sad truth about our world is that other people are going to be jerks to them because of that. But being a jerk doesn't make you right, or some kind of expert on how other people's bodies work because you think you understand how your personal body works - it just makes you a jerk.

By the way, I'm skinny. And gay.

(and so active that the insurance system into which you probably pay is currently funding the rehabilitation of several of my sports injuries, so thanks for that)
438
This is all well and good in Women's Studies 101 and your talks with friends over coffee, but let's see where you are in 10-15 years, when your cholesterol and triglycerides are through the roof, you have Type 2 diabetes and your joints are aching from carrying all that extra weight around. Let's see you try and walk up several flights of steps without getting winded, and check your blood pressure. Or if you have children, let's see if you develop gestational diabetes or give birth to a heavy baby because of all that insulin sensitivity, thus increasing their chances of later developing diabetes.
Being fat is ugly, but it's also unhealthy, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with "accepting" yourself or being "oppressed." This is laziness and a simple choice not to take responsibility and make healthy choices.
439
@#2 You appear to be a male. Anyone with half a brain knows that men have higher metabolisms, more muscle mass, and a TREMENDOUSLY easier time losing weight than women. In fact, I am always shocked that men and women compete together on "The Biggest Loser" since men have such an enormous biological advantage to losing weight. So, please do not make me sick by comparing yourself to a woman in this regard. There is no comparison. I am amazed you ever got fat in the first place, with that incredible male metabolism. You must have been an absolute glutton. Signed, A Woman
440
Kim @ 394: Your compassion shines through in every post of yours that I read, and I thank you for it.
441
Way to go Lindy!
442
I love how you put a skinny woman with a lit cigarette in one hand and a Red Bull in the other next to a 5'9" 263lb woman and the overwhelming choice for the "healthy" of the two would be the skinny woman.
443
First comment on slog--I'm appalled at some of the utter cruelty and lack of compassion shown in this thread, much of it the kind of judgment you'd expect at CPAC. Despite all the awesome support Lindy's getting for speaking her truth (note: her truth, not "everyone's" truth), it's making me rethink whether to devote time to this blog or community. Would any of you be this cruel or judgmental to people in person?
445
I'm fat and surrounded by people who think I'm the hottest thing this side of the sun. Confidence & happiness are sexy. Ugly like Dan's goes down to the bone.
446
The only excuse for being fat is laziness. I realized one day that I was 30 lbs overweight. Why? Because I had been lazy, neglectful and disingenuous about taking care of myself. So rather than wallow in sadness, start a pity party or "accept" my fate of an uncomfortable and selfish life I decided to kick my own butt. And ya know what happened? I lost the weight. Not only that, I kicked a lot of my lazy habits along the way so not only could I keep the weight off, but become a better person in many more ways. So when I hear fat people talk about it being genetics, too hard or whatever other excuse they come up with, I just read that as being too lazy and selfish to get their lives straightened out. So go ahead, keep on writing for "fat acceptance" and enjoy your shorter, unhealthy, socially expensive and uncomfortable life.
447
We're 446 comments in, and unless I missed it, no one has mentioned that weight loss long-term has an 80 TO 90 PERCENT FAILURE RATE. (http://www.znews24.com/weight-loss-not-p…–-study.html)

To all of the sanctimonious "ex-fatties" on this thread, congrats if you're in that elite 10 to 20 percent. But I doubt it.

Signed,
Been There, Done That
448
Hoh boy. I am really, really afraid of jumping into the fray here, but against my better judgment, here's my two cents.

First, let me preface this by saying that, by virtue of being a lesbian, I'm probably not as tuned into this issue as a lot of the people on this thread. Size hasn't seemed to stop my bigger girlfriends from finding a special lady, just as being a scrawny thing and having little in the way of breasts hasn't hindered my love life. But, you know, still a "traditionally feminine" chick myself, and I'm still part of the larger society, so here goes:

It looks like there are a few different strains of argument here, in Lindy's post and in the comments. One seems to be about what causes weight gain/fatness/obesity. Mostly, people seem to be arguing about whether it's genetics, environmental factors, or simply a matter of personal choices. My question, I guess, is why anyone seems to think these things are mutually exclusive. To my understanding, all the reputable science on the subject suggests that both genetic factors and personal consumption, together, are what determine one's weight and weight distribution. Meanwhile, marketing of junk food is relentless, and seems to be most effective in low-income communities; that's an environmental factor beyond most people's control, but the reason it has an impact is because it affects personal consumption. (Don't get me started on the subsidies we have that make unhealthy foods far more affordable than healthy foods - that's a disaster.) Different people have different healthy weight ranges; the ideal shouldn't be universal size 2 figures, but there's something to be said for encouraging people to find their ideal weight.

Another issue is whether being overweight or obese is inherently unhealthy. A lot of people seem to be falling on one of two sides here: either being fat has nothing to do with health, or being fat is equivalent to being unhealthy. Both sides seem to be relying heavily on anecdotal evidence. And both of these assessments are straight-up medically wrong; being overweight is one of many, many risk factors affecting allover health. We all know unhealthy skinny minnies and fabulously healthy fat people; that's because, well, global trends don't necessarily manifest themselves in each individual case. But for most people, most of the time, being overweight can contribute to other health problems. That being said, a physically active fat person who balances cheeseburgers with fruits and vegetables is probably going to be healthier than a skinny person who doesn't take care of him or herself.

The human body is a complicated bit of machinery. There's quite a bit of variance in people's metabolic processes. But there's a big difference between saying that not everyone can be the same weight, and saying that diet and physical activity don't affect weight. The former is absolutely true; the latter, just not borne out by the evidence.

So, yes, from a public health standpoint, encouraging people to eat more vegetables and get more physical activity is probably a good thing. (Note: more physical activity is not the same thing as hitting the gym for 2.5 hours a day. That's nuts.) There's a right way and a wrong way to go about it, though. For instance, I think Mrs. Obama's campaign to introduce healthier foods and more physical activity into schools is quite admirable. That isn't about shaming kids into feeling bad about the way they look; it's about encouraging kids to take control of their diets, habits, and health, regardless of what they look like.

Shame seems to be the other major strand of this thread. People should not be made to feel ashamed of their bodies. But I also don't think anyone should have to apologize for what they find physically attractive. That being said, there's quite a difference between "I like thinner girls" and "Fat chicks are gross."

As a point of personal privilege: I do actually understand what it's like to have my eating habits scrutinized, and to have to justify every damn thing I put in my mouth. Most of it comes from my parents, who constantly harangue me about my collarbones and try to force me to eat more every damn time they see me. Despite the fact that I feel fine, despite the fact that I don't starve myself, my body type means that I get treated like a particularly stupid and inept child every time a holiday rolls around. Now, I'm not going to pretend that's the same as the constant onslaught of utter crap that gets heaped on fat people - it isn't. The point is that I understand how having to constantly justify one of the most basic aspects of your daily life can really take a toll. And that's even before you factor in the gay thing.

All that said, I'm not so sure about this equivalence between being fat and being gay. Setting aside the marriage thing, I've never heard of someone being beaten or killed by a couple of thugs for being fat, or having their parents drill into them that they are a moral abomination for being overweight. I'm not trying to be insensitive; I'm genuinely curious.
449
Love the post. As a fat woman, I have to respond with amusement to people who saying 'losing weight can be done'. Who cares if it can be done or not? I don't give a crap that my body doesn't conform to your standard - who the hell are you anyway? And to the people who comment about the 'scary health risks' of fatness: again, my damn business. I don't go around inquiring if people are using condoms or drinking or even smoking. None of my business. What I do expect is to be treated like the human being I am without your fatism judgement. I don't going around judging people's color, wardrobe, shape or other externalities. But everyone likes to have someone below them on the totem pole - makes them feel better for their own shortcomings....

As for the fat-policing fatties... there is another way and I so so sorry if you haven't found it yet. It is there, and as soon as you start rejecting the lies and assumptions, the way you feel about yourself will change... and in every way! You will realize exactly what crap you have been putting up with and you will realize how much more you deserve out of the people and situations in your life.

In the society, to be a happy fat person is completely radical. And if hate and shame made people lose weight, we'd all be thin by now.
450
@447 Just keep reenforcing and arming the lazy with excuses. "do not try because you will fail" is BS. Human beings have only ever been fat when they are lazy and live in excess. Now excess is a $1 cheeseburger. And because of that people gorge themselves on mindless, garbage food because they are too lazy to put any thought into what they stuff down their face. 30 minutes of searching and reading is all you need to know to understand the basics of why your fat. And with a little more work you may hesitate the next time you curl up into your ignorance bubble with a bag of chips. But that's not easy or comfortable, so just justify your laziness and live your pathetic life as a human larva.
451
I've been fat all my life, and being shamed about it never helped me. Because of that shame, my first boyfriend was a nasty person because I was 100% convinced that I was so ugly, nobody would want me ever.
Then when I moved, I stopped doing something I had done all my life because I was ashamed to take dance classes where they don't know me. (And duh, I also got fatter during that period).
Now I started dancing again this year. I'm a lot fatter than I used to be. I can't believe I didn't dance for a whole 10 years.

STOP THE SHAME!!!
452
I've been fat all my life, and being shamed about it never helped me. Because of that shame, my first boyfriend was a nasty person because I was 100% convinced that I was so ugly, nobody would want me ever.
Then when I moved, I stopped doing something I had done all my life because I was ashamed to take dance classes where they don't know me. (And duh, I also got fatter during that period).
Now I started dancing again this year. I'm a lot fatter than I used to be. I can't believe I didn't dance for a whole 10 years.

STOP THE SHAME!!!
453
@ 445 - Hon, I'm not going to disagree that confidence and happiness are just about the sexiest thing on the planet, but ladies like us aren't really subject to the same social pressures as straight girls, especially in the dating arena. Being a bigger girl shouldn't be an impediment to anyone's love life, but it seems to pose more of a barrier to those of us who want to attract men than those of us who want to attract women.

On that note, time to go be productive. Because my employer doesn't care about me being gay or skinny or what have you; my employer just wants these documents ready to go before business opens on Monday. Ain't equality grand?
454
THIS, THIS QUOTE: "I reject the notion that thinness is the goal, that thin = better—that I am an unfinished thing and that my life can really start when I lose weight. That then I will be a real person and have finally succeeded as a woman. "

That's the Savage mental framework indeed. (Even in the It Gets Better Project.) Some day, some magical day in the future, you too can be a whole person. Your life doesn't start until you change x,y,z. You should be more liberated in your thinking, thinner, more privileged, then your life will start. Leave your one-horse town, act whiter, be less reliant on monogamy, then your life will start and it will get better.
455
For all of you offering your personal anecdata as a set of moral guidelines for the rest of us: people's bodies are different. My endocrinologist gave me a copy of the second study (the prisoner one) mentioned is this article. It is long, interesting, and casts a lot of doubt on popularly held beliefs. Your weight loss is not someone else's weight loss. Stop universalizing your experiences.
456
Dan is a bitter man who is afraid of/bemused by people not like him. Seeing him dole out "advice" was cute for a while, but stopped being cute (and interesting) ten years ago. END SAVAGE LOVE ALREADY.
457
French women don't get fat.....I read that somewhere.
458
Love love love you. Thank you.
459
Roma @270: I think the point I was making (and that I think you are missing) is that everyone's bodies process calories differently, and that's a fact. So some people need heaps more discipline than other people just to keep from gaining weight, much less losing it. Take your mountain analogy: it's like some people have to take 2-3 times as many steps to get up the same mountain. It's just harder for them, not because they love food more or have less willpower, but because their bodies work differently. You might find, if your body suddenly started working the same way, that you didn't have the willpower to be skinny anymore. I hike regularly with a group, and there are people who are way more fit than me, who exercise more, who eat better and live a healthier lifestyle. And they still have a body type that society considers "fat". It's unjust and pretty much out of their control, unless they are willing to work on diet and exercise 24/7 and who want to live like that?
460
I thought Sloggers favorite meme was how conservative, rural Americas were all stupid and FAT? Are we going to have to throw that one out the window or are they only stupid and fat when they believe in small government. If they believe in the nanny state, they are no longer fat? If so, that's a great way to diet.
461
Lindy, I am sad that I was not one of the the first to say I love you. @435 I am not fat and I was out last night and am only commenting now the next morning. I should just let it go but you egged me on.

First of all my take on Dan is he is someone who has a mild to moderate tendency to be fat and is able to control it with lots of exercise and diet obsession. These ideas are sprinkled throughout his writing and I am not going to waste my time providing links. I am not offering this as fact but my view. Dan is the only one who can tell us the truth, if he is capable. This makes him the body weight equivalent of an ex-smoker who still has to work on it.

Second, everybody has a different metabolic tendency towards gaining weight and a different level of shame driven tendency to over eat or eat crappy food. Judging people without really knowing is ignorant and actually hurts more than it helps. One of my kids was a bed wetter and eventually I realized that my getting upset was not helping but actually making it worse. I stopped getting upset and just made sure that last thing every night there was a trip to the bathroom no matter what. I it stopped almost instantly.

This may not be the best example but it was the one where I learned being a jerk under the guise of trying to help is bullshit and counterproductive.

Anybody who rags on her choice of picture to post has no idea of what kind of a first step it is to post that picture along with an unflinching statement of the truth that followed. True courage is obvious to those who don’t have their head up their ass.

Maybe Lindy can lose weight by getting over the shame and slowly managing her eating over a period of years or maybe not. It’s not for anyone else to judge. She is the only one who can possibly figure it out. The beauty of her honesty and directness is amazing and make me think she can learn the truth. This is more than I can say for most people regarding their challenges. I am not particularly attracted to fat people but I have a major crush on her that just got worse.

Remeber Lindy no mater how tough it get it could be worse, you could be willfully stupid.
462
Is this a reaction to Egypt? Will the military support Dan? Where is Obama on this?

Seriously though, isn't Dan kind of your boss? Are you shitting where you are eat? Good luck, I like your writing Ms. West.
463
Lindy, I admire your spirit and your bravado.

I still think Dan's original point is valid (that banning gay marriage because of 'shortened life expectancy' is no more legitimate than banning fat marriage for the same reasons).

As far as your numbered points go:
1) You reject Dan's "eeeeeewww," as you say, but I don't buy for one minute that you don't really care. It's obviously deeply hurtful to you. You make the comparison to anti-gay bigots, but Dan himself has said many times that homophobes have EVERY RIGHT to say terrible, hurtful things about gay people in a free society. And he has every right to say hurtful things back. He just insists on equal civil rights. I actually think he's practicing what he preaches here.

2) As expensive as mental health care is (and it is costly), it is nothing compared to dialysis and cardiac care. From a "cost" perspective, the latter two alone are what's driving us into the ground. As far as Dan not knowing anything about your health, you're right. But has he been talking about YOU ONLY, Lindy West? Or has he been talking about the overall trend towards bad health in the overweight? I think it's the latter. And I'm sorry, but just as public health (syphilis, vaccinations, HIV, etc.) affects everyone, it is everyone's business. In other words, that nice IV drug user you know may not have HIV, but as a whole IV drug users have far more HIV than the rest of the population. Their health care costs are an issue. It is not unreasonable to comment on the behavior that makes them sick, that costs society billions. It does not mean that they should be rounded up and executed, but it certainly doesn't mean they can shoot up and show up at the hospital for tons of expensive medical care many of them can't pay for and somehow it isn't any of my business at all.

3). See number 2 above.

4) Lindy, if you really don't give a shit and aren't going to waste another second of your life thinking about this, why write this lengthy column? I think you protest too much. Passion does not nullify reality.
464
I have no opinion about Dan or Lindy, but I do love to read all the comments on these sorts of posts that claim that losing weight is impossible, anyone who tries is going to fail, that it takes 6 hours of exercise a day, that they know a fat vegan and therefore some people are simply destined to be fat (like you can't overeat pasta?), that anyone trying to lose weight is simply brainwashed by magazines and that anyone who does manage to lose their extra weight will certainly gain it right back and then some.

Makes me feel like I have goddamned superpowers.

Fuck all y'all. My journey from obesity to a healthy weight was one of the best, most empowering things I've ever done in my life, and I've maintained every pound of that weight loss, and I'm tired of hearing about what a bad person that makes me and how I'm doomed to eventual failure....wait for it.....any minute now.....you just wait.....you're totally gonna get fat again you loser....HAHA NOPE! HATERS TO THE LEFT!

-Formerly Fat
465
You have a beautiful personality and no one will take that from you. I am sad for you that your defeatism has taken you to the extent of having to write the above to justify a failure. As a man who was once 300 lbs and now weighs 210, I want to encourage you to be your dream. Whatever it takes you need to physically feel how your heart of hearts tells you you should. One of the more profound thoughts I can leave you with is this: "Nothing tastes better than skinny feels." Only the lucky who have been both can attest to that. Do it now my lovely, while you are young and can enjoy it. In time a large body is a prison and things become harder to do and acts become harder to enjoy and the unfairness is that weight is much harder to lose when your body shape sets in. Please heed my advice, I come with a gentle suggestion and don't mean to disagree with you unless I really felt it's something that really needed to be reconsidered.
466
I have no opinion about Dan or Lindy, but I do love to read all the comments on these sorts of posts that claim that losing weight is impossible, anyone who tries is going to fail, that it takes 6 hours of exercise a day, that they know a fat vegan and therefore some people are simply destined to be fat (like you can't overeat pasta?), that anyone trying to lose weight is simply brainwashed by magazines and that anyone who does manage to lose their extra weight will certainly gain it right back and then some.

Makes me feel like I have goddamned superpowers.

Fuck all y'all. My journey from obesity to a healthy weight was one of the best, most empowering things I've ever done in my life, and I've maintained every pound of that weight loss, and I'm tired of hearing about what a bad person that makes me and how I'm doomed to eventual failure....wait for it.....any minute now.....you just wait.....you're totally gonna get fat again you loser....HAHA NOPE! HATERS TO THE LEFT!

-Formerly Fat
467
Oh Lindy. I love every word that flows through your fabulous fingers.
468
People come in all different colors, shapes, sizes, etc. Just a fact. There is no point in hating something. All that does is make things worse. I think love and acceptance are the way. I have several friends bigger me and many smaller than I am. I wouldn't deny my friendships with any of them based on their sizes, or mine. They're all beautiful women inside and out regardless of what size they wear. I support them in any endeavor they engage in and I don't judge them or try to pretend like I have all the answers. I've struggled with my weight for the last decade and can tell you from my own experience that being bigger than "desirable" doesn't always have anything to do with eating too much or moving too little. It's not as simple for everyone as it is for some to lose weight through proper diet and exercise.

The most judgemental people on the planet are often times the most wounded and least educated. Don't take someone elses shitty life and lack of knowledge personally. Have sympathy for them like you would any other disadvantaged person.
469
That is the most articulate "fuck you" I have ever read - thank you Lindy~!
It was inspirational :-)
470
This is awesome and I can't stop sharing it with everyone. I write a lot about body image stuff on my blog and I personally have struggled with self-acceptance since...uh, yeah, I realized I was not thin like I was "supposed" to be. I've felt pulled between desperation to become thinner and anger about being told every day in little and big ways that I don't measure up because of my body size and wanting to have the attitude and feeling that I AM OK the way that I am. More than ok- that I am beautiful and I don't have to spend every waking second trying to change my body to be beautiful.

Thank you for this! Seriously, you kick all kinds of ass.
471
This is awesome and I can't stop sharing it with everyone. I write about body image stuff on my blog and I personally have struggled with self-acceptance since...uh, yeah, BIRTH. Once I realized I was not thin like I was "supposed" to be, I've felt pulled between desperation to become thinner and anger about being told every day in little and big ways that I don't measure up because of my body size and wanting to have the attitude and feeling that I AM OK the way that I am. More than ok- that I am beautiful and I don't have to spend every waking second trying to change my body to be beautiful. I want to be free of this fucking bullshit.

Thank you for this! If we don't all start loving ourselves and flipping the ridiculous beauty standards the bird how in the hell will anything ever change?

You kick all kinds of ass.
472
lovely. thank you. :)
473
Thank you.
474
I like reading Lindy and Dan both and it's weird and a bit sad to see so much of this comment thread playing out as "yeah fuck him, no fuck you!"

I liked Lindy's statement here a lot, but despite the links, can't really see Dan as a fat-person-hater, but rather someone who is usually talking bout fatness in different contexts.

I keep thinking of all the times I've heard/read Dan council boys who like fat girls to be cool with what they like and not treat their girls shitty out of shame from not following norms of attraction. That doesn't sound like the advice of a fat-basher. Dan's a sex advice columnist, and it seems to me like he has to work with the fact that in this society, thin is the attractive ideal -- that's a descriptive statement, not a normative one -- and so where people diverge from that ideal either in their own appearance or their attraction to it, they can choose either to accept their current situation or do what's in their power to change it. When it comes to fat people, "what's in their power to change it" varies a lot between people.
475
Testify sister!
476
@466 (and all the others like you) - Congratulations. Since your experience is clearly universal, everyone who has a different experience from you is either lazy or lying (or both). We are all humans, right? So all our experiences are the same, or should be.

In my life I've lost a bunch of weight and gained all of it back; lost even more and gained some of it back. Trying to lose that "some" now is much much more difficult than either significant loss was before (60-70 lbs. the first time, nearly 100 the second time). Whether it's because I'm older now -- they say it gets more difficult, but it's probably a lie because you haven't experienced it, or else old people are just making excuses for their laziness -- or because it's harder to give that much of a shit now.
477
Get P90X and follow the workout and diet plan for 2 months. If you don't lose weight or become fitter, I will send you enough money to cover the cost of P90X, the healthy food and then some. if you work out and eat right, you will look and feel better. If you don't want to do that, it's obviously fine. You can love your body all you want, more power to you. But don't whine about how it's impossible to lose weight.

Anyone can lose weight and be fit with hard work and perseverance. Even people with medical conditions. I used to whine about having PCOS and blood sugar issues ("but it's hereditary!"), then I stopped being a poor-me and got my ass in shape. Never been happier. It's misleading and unethical for you to claim that diets don't work and that you've tried to get in shape when those efforts have clearly been half-hearted. It is absolutely 100% possible to change your body, and the mental strength you gain from such an experience is amazing.

Guess what, if you truly love your body and are happy with it, you won't feel the need to be so defensive and write blog posts about it. You'll just be happy and carefree, enjoying food and life. I have absolutely nothing but love for people who have found such self-love and acceptance. They shine from within. I'm sorry, but you simply don't strike me as one of those people. You're trying so hard to change the way the world sees you, but maybe instead you should change yourself or how you view the world. And please don't lie to your readers about trying hard. Read some fitness blogs and you will see what trying hard really is.
478
When people point out that fat is a result of being lazy and eating too much I have too wonder what their point is. Is liking food and disliking exercise some great moral failing?
Really?
It's much more worse to mock others for how they look or act as the health police. Forget having to share a bus with fat people, who wants to be around those jerks?

Thank you Lindy. We need your righteous rage.
I'm so sick of how women especially are under this pressure to feel guilty and to atone constantly for trivial reasons. Is your body "gross"? How dare you! what a terrible person you are! You better be trying to lose weight! Fuck that.
479
Wow, I love you. And fuck everybody that says, "Oh, you are just lazy, blah, blah, blah"

One quick little note, too, most of the ppl I saw posting on here that they just cut out soda or beer and lost a ton of weight were guys. In case you didn't already know this, men lose weight TONS easier than women. I went through two months of no soda, no alcohol, no fried junk (which I never eat anyway), 1100 calories a day, cardio 5 days a week, strength training 2 days per week, and lost a mere 5 pounds and 1% body fat. If it were easy, trust me we would all be doing it! I don't know any fat girls that just LOVE being fat, but I know many that accept themselves for who they are. There is a difference.
480
This is fucking AMAZING!!! thank you.
481
While I understood intellectually that people have different metabolisms, I never fully got it until I started dating my current boyfriend. I am 5'3, 130 lbs, he's 6'0, 320 pounds. He literally eats less than me - it boggles my mind. He can go all day and forget to have lunch. If I did that my blood sugar would crash and I'd turn into a raging bitch.

We are both vegetarian, eat healthy (no, neither of us subsists on pasta and we both think fast food is disgusting) and exercise. We just have very different metabolisms. So, yes, if I were to pull a Morgan Sperling and eat McDonald's at every meal, I would gain weight, and if I went back to a healthy lifestyle I would lose weight. But that's because I have a high metabolism to start with (perhaps like some of the proud "I lost 30 pounds" posters here.) I can't imagine him eating any less and still staying alive!

Luckily, I like fat guys, always have, though it took me a while to come out of the closet about it. Everytime I see Dan Savage I think "he'd be cute if he'd just gain a few pounds!" Scrawniness is so unsightly. :)
482
Lindy, you are super fucking cute. AND hilarious. Srsly.
483
Lindy's Gorgeous. And us fat-bottom girls make the rockin' world go round. Errrrrbody knows that. Haters are just jealous. NO one wrote songs about them scrawny bitches. ;-)
484
While I understood intellectually that people have different metabolisms, I never fully got it until I started dating my current boyfriend. I am 5'3, 130 lbs, he's 6'0, 320 pounds. He literally eats less than me - it boggles my mind. He can go all day and forget to have lunch. If I did that my blood sugar would crash and I'd turn into a raging bitch.

We are both vegetarian, eat healthy (no, neither of us subsists on pasta and we both think fast food is disgusting) and exercise. We just have very different metabolisms. So, yes, if I were to pull a Morgan Sperling and eat McDonald's at every meal, I would gain weight, and if I went back to a healthy lifestyle I would lose weight. But that's because I have a high metabolism to start with (perhaps like some of the proud "I lost 30 pounds" posters here.) I can't imagine him eating any less and still staying alive!

Luckily, I like fat guys, always have, though it took me a while to come out of the closet about it. Everytime I see Dan Savage I think "he'd be cute if he'd just gain a few pounds!" Scrawniness is so unsightly. :)
485
Hurrah! Well said!

@29 -- I am truly sorry that you are so caught up in your own insecurity and self-hatred. I get that you are jealous of those of us who manage not to hate ourselves, regardless of what other people think. But that doesn't give you license to be a dick. Sorry. Try not being a dick, and maybe you will like yourself more.
486
Since I don't have much to add that hasn't been said, here is a sober (literally) recap of the comments that, IMHO, make sense:

@401 Unregistered: If Dan were going to write a rebuttal, this would be it. And while I'm trying not to just be a blind apologist here, I've read the chapter in Skipping to G. that this person cites, and it's true, the overall "feeling" in that chapter is not one of "ew," but rather a discussion of unhealthy eating habits. In that chapter, Dan is honest about liking thin people, but not cruel.

@406 Medeii: For what it's worth, Kim has taught me a lot about blog commenting. Namely, that an anonymous platform shouldn't be a license to say something you wouldn't if your real name were attached. And her explanation of Dan's weight issues (his own) jive with everything I've read of his.

@411 Garrett: Agree, @434 Dave M: Good points.

@448 Anne in MA: Good points, and especially this:
"All that said, I'm not so sure about this equivalence between being fat and being gay. Setting aside the marriage thing, I've never heard of someone being beaten or killed by a couple of thugs for being fat, or having their parents drill into them that they are a moral abomination for being overweight. I'm not trying to be insensitive; I'm genuinely curious."

@gus (Good morning, of course!)

FWIW, my personal take on this, after reading the original pots, as well as every comment, is:

Lindy's feelings are hurt. Sometimes, as an earlier commenter said, shame is warranted for bad behaviour, but in general, shame is just hurtful.
I think Dan is blunt. Most of the time, that's what makes his writing so enjoyable to read. I know I'm relatively new to slog, but I've read all of his books, and the archives, and yes, it's very clear that his personal taste runs to tall and thin. It also runs toward people with penises. Does this make me feel like Dan finds me gross, personally? As a person in possession of a canned ham? Nah, really, it doesn't bother me that a gay man would not be making the moves on me, I'll get over it. And yet some people read his comments about women and hams, and take it very personally.
Also, I understand what Dan has said about his own weight, as his story mirrors mine. I know that when I am vigilant about not eating too much, and getting exercise, my weight is good. When I slack off and eat whatever I want, I gain weight. For those of us in that category (thin when we work at it, overweight when we don't work at it--no skinny genes, no glandular issues), it's easy to look at the rest of the world and apply your own story to it.

I like Dan's caustic writing style, and while (if I were him) I'd probably apologize for hurting a coworker's feelings, I wouldn't want him to change the way he does things. It makes people think.

487
@ 406,

You see my statement as defending hurtful behavior. I don't, at least that was not my intent. My intent was to 1) disagree that Savage has blessed genes for being thin, and 2) to ponder reasons for what I see is a disconnect between his writtings and his stated feelings towards individuals in his life, as my personal experience of him does not suggest that he is a cruel person who gets a thrill at victimizing others. It was food for thought only and never intended as a "defense" or "justification".

Thank you for sharing your opinion and thoughts, especially those directed towards my heart and my capacity to do more harm than good. Food for thought, indeed.

Cheers.
488
Jesus H. Christ. Lindy weighs 60 pounds more than me, even though we're the same height and I'm a dude who lifts weights three times a week.

Wow.

All I can think about now, is how hard it would be to walk around for an hour with two thirty pound barbells strapped to my chest.
489
Besides the fact that what COUNTS as "FAT" is so ridiculously subjective. I thought I was FAT during school. All the time. I look back, and I really really wasn't. I just was a little bit rounder than the stick-thin girls on the soccer team.
490
You are beautiful. Inside and Outside.
491
I don't think it's bad AT ALL that Dan writes about obesity: it's a national health care epidemic. It's all in HOW it's said, as I & now many others have mentioned before.

The fact that there are so many Stranger staff members on this thread, bravo-ing Ms. Lindy, leads me to believe she is far from alone in her opinion on this subject. & those folks know Dan IRL, not just his words.
492
Cynic Romantic @ 440,

Thank you for your kind words. They are appreciated.
493
...out the fucking park !
494
Does anybody else think most of the "ex-fat" people are liars? I do.
495
You are my hero!
496
Beauty is about learning to love what got!! F&ck anyone who makes you feel inadequate.
497
What the fuck. Why do people come in here and say "they'd hit it", treating her as an object whether she's fat or not? Sleazy sickos.

Excellen post Lindy. Thank you.
498
Lindy, you need to lose weight. It has nothing to do with peer pressure, fashion magazines, etc. etc. You shouldn’t be carrying over a 50 kilos more than your BWI index. It is really unhealthy, and you are going to have problems from joint problems to higher risk of Type II diabetes, to complications like cellulitis.

To write that you need to lose 50 kilos (+/- 100 lbs), isn’t trying to mock you, or degenerate you. Much like if you are smoking three packs of cigarettes a day, I would say you need to stop it.

I don’t think losing weight is the difficult part, I find keeping it off and maintaining the ideal BWI weight range is the tough part, which means sticking to eating properly after losing the weight.

Just make a plan, still the best help are support groups, and good luck.
499
I want in on this big old Lindy love party too! And for Dan, who I hope reads all these messages-- it's about being nice that's all. How about you take a moment to remember that it hurts to be the recipient of meaness even when sugar coated with concerns about health so maybe you could like you know just stop that BS. It's OK that blubber makes you wretch--homos make some people wretch but we would call then out as shitheads if they act on their personal squikness by bullying others. Can you see that?
500
lindy, you should be given an award.

i'm a tall skinny chicken legged looking thing and my partner is a hot and sultry chubby woman. i eat about 5000/6000 cals a day, work out maybe once a week and smoke a lot of pot. my girlfriend eats way less cals/day, works out significantly more than me and doesn't drink alcohol or smoke pot. and guess what!! SHE'S STILL FAT!!!!!!!!!!! AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so when people approach me and ask me what i do to stay so thin and how i must be the epitomy of everything healthy i burp in their face and spend the next tens minutes listing off all of my health problems and none of my gf's.

thin doesn't equal healthy people.

give me a girl with some meat on her bones!

501
Lindy, ignore everyone here who's telling you what a loser you are for being fat, and how they're so much more awesome than you because they lost a bunch of weight and kept it off and now their life is so great and everything is rainbows and baskets of puppies. Ignore all the people here telling you that you're lazy and stupid.

Here's why you should ignore them: they need you to hate yourself in order to feel better about themselves. See, when they were fat, they hated themselves. They latched desperately onto the idea that thin = happy, and they busted their asses to get thin. It's pretty telling how they're here spewing hate at you. Hate is how they keep you down. When you rise up like this and say "I reject the belief that being thin fixes everything," you're rejecting their entire worldview. Because, to them, being thin IS everything. If they had to be fat again, they'd probably kill themselves from the shame. Seeing someone like you turning the paradigm on its head totally throws them for a loop, so they spew hatred at you, because it's all they know how to do.

Pity them if you can... poor things.
502
I want you to be my new BFF Lindy! =) You are amazing and all the fat bashers on here can go jack off to "men's health magazine" or something. Who cares if "they" dont find it attractive, most INTELLIGENT women generally dont find assholes attractive, so it balances out! Keep doing what your doing and keep eating those burgers!! @483, LOVE IT! so true! Thick girls hold it down! ;)
503
Moses smell the roses, how the hell did this get to 500 responses in one day?
Y'all are now banned from discussing obesity.

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