Blogs Feb 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Comments

904
It seems fat people comprise the last remaining "group" of whom it is socially acceptable to make fun. It's much harder to get away with subjecting queers or people of color to the same kind/level of ridicule visited upon "fatties" in "Shallow Hal" or Eddie Murphy's "Nutty Professor."
905
Thank you for saying this. So many people, good people like you and me, need to hear this at least once in their lives.

Thank you especially for mentioning people having guilt over the diabetes they don't even have. You are right - shame on top of shame does not "motivate" or "encourage" people. It takes away their hope and their self-esteem. And when you truly feel you are not worth anything, then you cannot even decide how to live your life. Trying to conform to a societal ideal of "correct living" is not how people get healthy or stay healthy. And I said healthy, not thin. Health is a state of body and mind, and only when we are healthy can we take control of our lives.

Thank you also for your analogy of health insurance premiums and taxes for schools. I will keep that in mind whenever I need to remind myself that I am no the sole cause of problems in the health insurance world, and the number on my scale does not affect the premiums of everyone I see.
906
You have every right to be complacent with being fat. Yes it is your body and nobody should subject you to torment because of it. If you genuinely are happy then that's great. The thing that boggles the mind is that you apparently have a large cheering section in complete denial about the health risks. You will die early and your 'friends' from the comfort of their PC points of view will be clapping at your funeral. I can hear them now "She died so young, but at least she was happy." Bullshit! Everyone goes through some degree of crisis of identity and that has nothing to do with being fat. Accepting yourself and accepting that you are too lazy are very different things and by your own words you fall in to the latter category. Your words of strength are supported by cries of victimhood.

Do whatever you want. I really don't care. But please try not to promote the idea that denial will make everything ok. In 10 years your "you go girl" cheering section will be quiet. It will be replaced by notes of false empathy as you descend back in to victimhood, this time of diabetes. You will be another in the long line of statistics of people who knew better but chose not to do anything about it.

I would think that if you really were happy you would do what it takes to make your ride in this life as long as possible.
907
It must really suck to be skinny if your body doesn't naturally look that way. That at least would explain why all the "haters" in this thread are so PISSED OFF at people who don't/haven't suffered how they have suffered. Maybe when they see a fat person, they imagine all the delicious meals they've skipped. Because they are themselves so fixated on food, when they see a fat person, they can't help but fantasize about that piece of chocolate cake they passed up on last Thursday. That piece of cake they have been thinking about ever since. If a fat person is happy or proud or if anyone claims that it is possible to be happy and proud AND fat, all at the same time, then all those sacrifices weren't worth it, so skinny assholes* have to put those fatties in their place and make their lives unlivable.

Because, yes, most fat people could lose the weight if they were willing to torture themselves, to greater or lesser degrees, for the rest of their lives (as medical research has shown, the brain of an obese person who loses a large amount of weight will respond to a normal 2000 calorie diet as though he or she is starving. This means a constant and dramatic physiological/neurological SENSATION OF HUNGER [i.e. hunger pain]), but some people aren't willing to live that life of pain for the aesthetic approval of others or the POTENTIAL medical benefits. Because that is what they are POTENTIAL.

So yeah. Maybe the skinny people who are so pissed are just resentful of all the unreasonable sacrifices they've made to fit into society's idea of beauty (5AM trips to the gym would definitely make me a cranky jerk). Because health is a really good excuse for what is essentially capitulation to a narrow conception of beauty, because let's be honest, the beauty thing is the primary reason, not health. And what a price that shallow capitulation demands! I lived with a 52 year old fitness instructor who wouldn't eat fruit because the sugar in it kept her up at night. Seriously? I wouldn't live in that brain if you paid me.

Be skinny or be fat, but interrogate why you're so upset about it. Because when things like that don't add up emotionally, then something else is at work, something that is being projected out and onto people who have nothing to do with your crazy brainz.

*defined as skinny people who are dickish, not skinny people generally.
908
This is just so bloody perfect. Major kudos for expressing it so beautifully.

Now I'm off to share the shit out of this post.
909
I wasn't going to chime in again BUT:

There have been a handful of excellent posts in this very long thread and I have read or scanned every single one (truth). One of the better posts you will see is not too far back @865 from hydrozoa. Definitely worth the time to read the whole thing - rings very very true.

Nice to see new names each time.

Dan will write an article about this - will probably end up as a cover story. He can smell blood on the water, and is a good businessman.....
910
I too would like to call attention to 865. Folks go back and read it again. It's one of the few posts that caught Lindy's point.
911
You are not simply "fat," but obese.

Nothing about YOUR body is healthy in an ideal society.

~ Hello, You're Obese And Delusional
912
Thanks Lindy.

I have been bothered by this issue at The Slog/Stranger for some time.

I appreciate that you were willing to stand up and speak out. I hope that it does indeed "Get Better".
913
@ 910 (which in turn points back at 865) Ditto to that. Hydrozoa get's it right. Just like Lindy.
914
(Just lucky, Canuck!)
915
@909... b-b-b-but what if their fat TOUCHES me on teh plane!??!! Surely then I can call them names, right?
916
(full disclosure: I am not fat, but I am a short straight male, which, in our society sucks, but just in a minor way)

I haven't commented on slog for maybe 2 years, but I'm commenting here to say how much I love this post (and, okay, to push it towards 1000).

I feel inspired when I see someone do / say something truly radical; In a very personal and brave way, Lindy has really called bullshit on the way Dan and our culture take for granted the idea that it is okay to judge people based on their appearance.

It has been said before, but I think it is worth saying again: All of you people who are giving Lindy advice or telling her how happy she will be are TOTALLY MISSING THE POINT. This has nothing to do with whether she could or should lose weight. You have a right to your opinion, but unless you are asked for advice, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Obviously, you have a constitutional right to NOT shut the fuck up, but that doesn't mean you are not fat-bigot, and it doesn't mean no one is going to call you on it. I get the feeling a lot of the anti-Lindy posters consider themselves liberal, non-racist, non-homophobic, etc., but somehow manage to convince themselves that this is a special case of discrimination - it is somehow deserved, or for their own good.

We need to look at our underlying assumptions and ask why why we feel it is okay to judge people based on body shape alone.

If you still feel like telling Lindy to lose weight, you really need to go back and re-read the post. Her best and most powerful point in #4, and I quote: "But most importantly: I reject this entire framework. I don't give a shit what causes anyone's fatness. It's irrelevant and it's none of my business. I am not making excuses, because I have nothing to excuse. I reject the notion that thinness is the goal, that thin = better—that I am an unfinished thing and that my life can really start when I lose weight."

If this boggles your mind, it's probably because your worldview is having trouble processing it. This means you can either try to figure it out, or go on justifying why it is okay to judge people's worth based on weight, and treat them like little children who have gone astray.
917
Bottom line: white men need to check their privilege, whatever their sexual orientation. Like Lindy, I am SO BORED by conversations about what makes people fat, how people lose weight, etc etc. She is absolutely right that the number one way to have a healthy body is to have a healthy mind. AND being healthy does not look the same for each person...why is THAT so difficult for people to understand?? And why do "thin" people have no possible way of empathizing with the experience of those who are "not thin"? I used to be a fat kid and still, STILL can feel sad about the teasing I experienced many years ago. It's hard to let go of that completely in a society where "healthy" is never enough (because uber skinny, btw, is usually not healthy!)

Lastly, about shame: shame is easy to be forced into feeling no matter what your size is. I've felt shame about the smallest weight gain, about missing a week at the gym, about finishing the entire bag of Kettle chips...yadda yadda. Shame does not motivate me to get back to the gym or to choose broccoli instead of chips. It is joy and confidence that motivate me to find the ways that i like to be healthy and stick with them. Lifting weights? Yes. Eating chocolate everyday? Fuck yes. Thank you for this Lindy.
918
Oh, and hydrozoa at 865 said what I wanted to say much much better and much more awesomer than me.
919
@907 Overeating is an addiction. It causes chemical changes in the brain that keeps the person coming back for more.

Would you agree that smoking is bad for your health? What if this article had been written by a smoker, asking for more empathy in their predicament of being a smoker? Some people think black lungs and smoker's breath are disgusting, but should we tell those people to shut the fuck up and be more accepting? A person could conceivably justify any behaviour to keep themselves from facing reality and changing/growing/moving on.

Too much of ANYTHING is not good.
920
Have you ever noticed that the people who winge on about how this or that will help them lose or gain weight always do it during lunch time? I can't tell you how many times I've excused myself from what would otherwise be a sociable lunchtime at work or school because people can't keep talking about it. And, like Lindy, I AM BORED TO TEARS WITH THAT CONVERSATION.
921
Holy shit you are just 28? Shit I feel sorry for you.
922
To everyone talking about the "health risks" of being overweight: STOP. Why don't you try inserting some other aspect of identity in the place of fat? So "why is it dangerous to be fat" becomes "why is it dangerous to be a woman?" It's hazardous to your health to be a woman because women can get breast/cervical cancer, they are typically the receivers of domestic abuse and sexual violence, women don't make as much money as men doing the same jobs, women could die in childbirth...So with all these health risks, should I just try really hard for the rest of my life to not be a woman? Next try sticking "black" or "trans" or "disabled" or "felon" in the place of fat and go from there. You will see that the violence, the health risks, the immense challenge of "getting healthy" and the shame originate or are exacerbated by the hatred of fat people.

The health risks of being obese are obvious. They are not shocking news, not new news, and this information is everywhere. A major point of Lindy's article your missing is the anti-fat society we live in, the hatred and the violence that forces people to live in shame no matter how "fat" or "overweight" they actually are IS THE PROBLEM. If you can understand medical science so well to explain why it's dangerous to be overweight, why can't you also understand basic psychology and also, the power of empathy?

923
it's all been said but i wanted to add to the count, to do my part to keep this on the top of the list for all to see! excellent work, lindy :-) xo
924
Bump for the hell of it.
925
I feel obligated to comment on this post as a person with a registered username on Slog.
926
@922 You are saying that those of us talking about the health risks are anti-fat, and you're saying we have no empathy. I have no judgement against individuals who are fat. I know and am friends with quite a few overweight people, and it has never come up as an issue. I've never judged them for their weight. If they were to bring it up, I'd talk about health issues, but I would never ever try to shame them or make them feel bad.

Empathy does not mean allowing a person to blindly continue to hurt themselves. Empathy is NOT delusional acceptance of "anything goes".
927
@ 919 As I have said a gajillion times, it is so much more complicated than you seem to believe it is. Since when is anything that has to do with the relationship between the human body and the human mind simple? Seriously. Just stop for a second and interrogate the arrogance of assuming you understand it all.

Maybe some information will help:

"Why are thin people not fat?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMrtTxwzn…

Watch the first 1 minute of this clip of documentary from the BBC. Honestly, you and everyone else posting on the thread should watch the WHOLE thing if you really want to have a responsible and reasonable conversation about obesity. The first segment is at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6-A0iHSd…
928
Gunning for 1000
929
Hey there, Canadian Nurse!

So, has anything like this ever happened before on Slog or at The Stranger? Is this partly ramped up and dramatized for our benefit, or is there truly a civil war underway?

Echoing an earlier commenter, it makes me wonder about how much tension is rolling around that office...
930
@865: Hydroza, your post is so disgustingly full of win I can't even stand it! :D <3 to you. You are gorgeous, inside AND out, just the way you are. I hope you find peace.

I hope we *all* do.
931
This post and the associated comments have provided so much food for thought, and prompted me to confront my own fucked up body image and judgment of others' bodies once and for all. I am so grateful.
932
I can only echo what comment #1 said. ;-)
933
For anyone to say "Hey guys, her body is none of your business!" I disagree.

This very personal statement regarding her body, and body image has been posted on more than one website. She has (bravely) put herself out there, and for people to insist that no one share their opinion negates the point of commenting or even posting the piece.

Any open discussion about our bodies or self-image is personal and will get heated. I personally made a couple statements that, after reflection, regret and sincerely apologize for if anyone was insulted. I, like many, am a work in progress and need to turn up my empathy at times and try harder to see others point of view.

Here's hoping for 1k and that Lindy's honest negative opinion about her boss's views will not effect her position at The Stranger. Remember Dan: "Variety is the spice of life."

Also: Anyone else notice that Mudede has yet to chime in while most of the (more vocal) staff did?
934
Agreed, @865 was perfect.

I think it's more of my business whether people have kids or drive to work than whether they're fat. Which is to say, not at all.

If you don't want to date a fat girl, then don't. If you don't want to be fat, then do your best to lose it, but for christ's sake, don't preach and moralize and say what's healthy and what people should do. you know what would really be healthy and good for the planet? If your mama had aborted you and there would be one less person on this overcrowded earth.
935
@927 I am familiar with those videos. If what they said was true, though, why is obesity on the rise, and why only in certain countries?
936
I'm sure someone has already posted this Mika -Big Girl (You're Beautiful)

937
@933. Lindy isn't saying her body is none of your business in relation to this post. I mean obviously it is, she put herself out there in this instance to make a point and that's what we're talking about here.

However, she is making the point that her body (or anyone else's body) is none of your business IN GENERAL. If you see her or another heavy person on the street, it's none of your business, keep your judgement and comments to yourself thank you very much.
938
865, I like and relate to what you say, though as my comment complimenting Lindy preceded yours and you had scolded the notion of paying her a compliment, all I was doing was doing just that, paying her a compliment. Her shoes are indeed nice. And I am a straight woman with appreciation for shoes. Sorry.

If someone tells me that they like my outfit or like the color of my eyes, I appreciate that. And, for many clear reasons, I've rarely ever taken such words as a cue that the person wants to fuck me.

If you go back through these near-1,000 comments, I've offered a few other points of view that have nothing to do with objectifying Ms. Lindy.

And up to this point, at least I've aimed for brevity.
939
@933: Yes, I want Charles to chime in with a Marxian (or perhaps Foucauldian) analysis of capitalism's preoccupation with the body as a locus of consumption, discipline and control...
940
@937 Point taken. I personally wouldn't comment to a stranger on the street in a negative manor overweight or not, that's just not my style. If I see a pair of cute shoes, you will probably her me say "Hey! Rockin' shoes!"

My point was that through these almost 1000 comments(!) many people have stated something to the tune of: this is none of your business to have an opinion on which I believe to be false. We will never see progress towards the oppression or frequent offending of fat people unless there is a dialog- no matter how touchy the subject is.

The open sharing and expression of ideas and opinions, however controversial or divergent, is the cornerstone of all free societies.
941
@865 is one of the best comments I've ever read on SLOG. If you haven't read it, do so now.
942
Oh, and I agree, Lindy's brain is such a unique beauty to behold that I don't give a shit what body it's mounted in. I'd take it in a heartbeat.
943
@916 if you read more carefully you would see it is people like you who boggle the mind. The negative effects of obesity on a persons physical and mental health should be unquestioned as this is very well documented. You are another flag waver supporting an unhealthy lifestyle. Do you congratulate and support the ongoing lifestyle of alcoholics and anorexics? Do you support a persons own self destruction so long as they no longer give a shit?

As far as Lindy is concerned, I don't care. It's her mind and her body. For me weight is not a measure of a persons character but words are. Your words and hers are indicative of a very sick population that seems to want to think everything is ok.

Have some more Doritos ▲▲▲▲ they're good for you nomnomnom
944
Fat, thin, fat, thin, big boobs, small boobs, real women have curves, real women look like little boys. Big deal. This conversation is going to happen until women are applauded for something other than their physical appearance.
945
I don't have anything to add to the discussion as I'm just waiting to post the 1000 post here.
946
Never before has s a Slog post kept my interest for an entire weekend. And I, too, would like to add my praise for comment 865. An honest examination of complex emotions is rare on Slog and 865 is a rare, brave treat. As is Lindy's original post.
947
Got to add a bump to Slog history...a lot of pain in these posts. I'm another woman who has always struggled with unwanted extra weight, and I agree that a pile on of shame is a cruel tactic and likely to prompt the opposite of the desired effect, but I have not ever felt personally shamed by Dan's posts. I generally agree with his general statements. I think your post is acurate, but to target Dan as you have, is unfair. I don't recall him ever mentioning the people he works with specifically, as you have just done.
948
@865 I didn't think anything of any interest would be said after 700 comments but your post was amazing. Thank you.
949
@938: wow, you really have a point there. at least you aimed for brevity in your frivolous compliment. you talking about somebody's shoes and me talking about widespread cruelty against human beings should use the same amount of words.

once again, as i said earlier: you and the other well-wishers are very sweet and everything for complimenting her. compliments are nice! i personally enjoy them. i'm just saying that they contradict lindy's point.

i also wasn't really talking about your comment at all (nor did i see it); i was referring to the people who were telling her that she's beautiful despite her fat.

everyone else: thanks for the props. i love compliments.
950
hydroz: please attach a picture so we can compliment you on your looks instead!! This whole content of your character thing is very distressing. thx.
951
reporting in and advancing epic thread
952
Seriously, does anyone know if this is a record for most comments?
953
@938 - tl;dr
954
I can't remember any post on Slog that has generated this much interest. I was thinking one of the Chris Crocker posts (when we got "hit with the Myspace truck" as Eli put it), but for all the sound and fury that didn't even make to 200 comments.

There may have been some political ones before/after the '08 elections that generated tons of heat, but I'm sure this is the most commented on of all (Slog) time. And nice to see that the vast majority of it isn't even from the standard Slog gang.

Even though he's gone into total radio silence since early Friday, there's no way Dan cannot do a response of his own, otherwise every comment thread for his posts is gonna have people asking where his response to Lindy is.
955
Lindy, you're awesome. Dan, you're lucky to have someone as awesome as Lindy around. And as a fat person who regularly reads your column - yeah, Lindy's right. Totally right. And awesome. So, in a nutshell: fuck you, Dan. I don't like it when you project your own twisted body-image hangups onto other people, and I never have.
956
The moral superiority I'm detecting in the comments of people like littlesparrow is grating.

It's not like most of us aren't doing something that's bad for our health. People like me, who sit all day in front of a computer screen, are doing something really bad; we're not getting proper exercise. Scientific studies have even shown that people who sit at a desk all day are significantly shortening their lives. Yet unhealthy desk jockeys are given a pass, while fat people are singled out for shame, concern, or bullying, even if they happen to be healthier than a skinnier person. Fuck that. And fuck the arrogant people who do it.
957
@954 I'm certain we'll hear something from Dan. What remains to be seen is if all the back and forth commentary here has swayed him to actually do a bit of reflection and discover that he is indeed a bit callous and yes, BULLYING to the overweight of the world. He's a smart guy, and even though I've never met him, I assume an intelligent and sensitive one too, so I have hope. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised really if he comes out swinging.

Whatever; time will tell. It gets better, right?
958
A further thought re Dan (and message to him if he actually reads these comments).

Even if he doesn't get Lindy's post or think much of the hundreds of comments saying "right on" in response, I hope he is appalled and chagrined at both the vitriol and profound medical and epidemiological ignorance of the overwhelming majority of folks posting that she's an ugly stupid fatty.

I hope it gives him pause next time he wants to post on this issue. This is the group you're throwing bones to Dan. You really want to be on their side?!
959
Thank you for being amazing. :)
960
@lindy - that was perfection. your transparency here is truly a gift to so many.

@865 - that was, also, PER-FEC-TION. hit the nail on the head. said everything i was thinking and said it beautifully.

@dan - speak up, please. and loudly. so that we can all hear. so we can all understand why your plight is any different from anyone else that has ever been bullied, hated, picked on for any reason at all. tell us. inform us. speak your truth as only you can speak it. we are motherfucking waiting.
961
you know, the great irony here is that for all the fat-bashing that goes on in the world, gay people still are discriminated against much more than fat people.
fat people can get married, fat people aren't excluded from churches, fat people can adopt children any way they want etc etc. fat people are not hanged in autocratic or religiously fanatic countries for just bein' themselves. and fat people aren't assumed to be child molesters and perverts.
so, lindy still wins.
962
I registered with SLOG just to comment here.

Thanks for spreading the message that body size is a) not necessarily an indicator of a person's health and b) not anyone else's business. In my opinion, if I find someone's appearance unpleasant, it's not that person's problem, and I certainly would never comment on it *to them*
for heaven's sake!

Let's treat each other with respect, kindness and good will. How 'bout that??

963
Now that Dan has gone all MTV he'll soon big (or small) to be a stranger any longer. Mark my words people...
964
it just blows my mind how many weight loss tips are in this thread. really??! and @lindy, duh you are amazing. i believe you may have even gotten slightly tired of hearing it by now. but one more!
965
Health is composed of so many factors that it makes no sense to focus on one (weight) just because it happens to be visible. @956 mentions the too-much-screentime issue, but there's so many others: how many of us are defeated, isolated, addicted to weird stuff or the wrong kind of partners, stressed out by bad jobs, prone to unbearable self righteousness?

And, you can draw statistical conclusions about populations, but that doesn't translate into knowledge of single individuals. Personal fate still holds a bit of mystery. A friend of ours just died at age 88 after chain smoking all her life without a smidgeon of lung trouble until her final 6 weeks. What can you say?

And speaking of self-righteousness, @874, I live off the grid and consume less electricity in a day than you use to make your toast in the morning, and your little screed on sustainability made me want to drive to Seattle in an SUV and go from one Dick's hamburger joint to the next, filling up the back seat with french fry wrappers and plastic soda bottles.
966
@961.... old, fat, black. fag. woe. i win.
967
@925 I, too, as a person with a registered username on Slog, feel obligated to comment on this post. Even though I have no sympathy for fat people.

Thin all my life due to my dad's healthy cooking when I was a kid and because a public health person from the state came to my 5th grade class in 1981 and did a presentation, with evidence and arguments, on why sugar was bad for you, which I found convincing so thereafter refused to eat sugar. People thought I was a weird kid. But I've never even had a tooth cavity.

Now I eat like a pig (in my perception; others say I eat like a bird) and stay thin. Sometimes I forget to eat and just starve for awhile, uncomfortable but no big deal. Starvation is a very common experience for animals actually, our bodies have evolved lots of physiological mechanisms to cope with it. Probably good exercise for the cells to just starve every once in awhile.

I do not find fat women attractive, ever. I don't go out with women who worry about their weight/what they eat because it's so wearing and stressful, me having to think about what I eat because it might be making her feel bad because she feels like she can't eat it.

The quantities of corn syrup and -oil filled processed food that Americans eat, and the environmental damage caused in its production, bother me. Spending public money on expensive health care instead of infrastructure, education, research etc concerns me.

I live in Japan now, and every time Americans come on the TV, my reaction is "Wow, they are _fat_! And their houses are huge, and stuffed with junk." The Japanese are not fat. They eat rice, fish, soybeans and seaweed. They ride trains everywhere rather than driving, which means they get exercise walking to and from the train stations.

Fat America just seems like one aspect of overindulged, consumerist, addicted, corporate lobbyist-infested, right-wing-politics afflicted America (farm bill subsidies for corn production, etc).

Get a grip, people.
968
You guys realize that for Lindy to maintain the weight that she is with ZERO exercise she has to consume around 4,000 calories A DAY? That's around 6 BIG MACS A DAY.

"You have no idea what I eat, how much I exercise, what my blood pressure is, or whether or not I'm going to get diabetes."

Crap.
None.
High.
God, I hope so.
969
You guys realize that for Lindy to maintain the weight that she is with ZERO exercise she has to consume around 4,000 calories A DAY? That's around 6 BIG MACS A DAY.

"You have no idea what I eat, how much I exercise, what my blood pressure is, or whether or not I'm going to get diabetes."

Crap.
None.
High.
God, I hope so.
970
I threw out my scale long ago. I don't even know what I weigh, and I don't care. I know I am beautiful RIGHT NOW.

As for other's opinions, I must say; I will always be baffled by the amount of people who think their opinion of how I look is somehow any of my damn business.
971
I have thoughts about this.

That is all.
972
Battle for Slog: Beyond Thunderdome
973
@969

What I find interesting is that we're still using universalities and generic formulas to say "she HAS to be eating 4000 calories a day and getting no exercise!" Which entirely misses the point of how you know absolutely nothing about her life and more importantly about how her body works.

If you looked at me I'm sure that's exactly what you would assume. I can tell you that's exactly what a few of my (short lived) doctors have assumed. Only to shock them with my incredibly low blood pressure and cholesterol. Also I take several medications that have weight gain as a side affect. And while yes, my personal situation is more unique than most, I tell you it because you CANNOT know simply by looking at a person or reading a few basic facts about them what sort of lifestyle they live. And if you think medication that makes you gain or retain weight is unusual, look up a few common birth controls, a prescription that is fairly common for a wide variety of reasons.

So to come into a post like this and assume she is unhealthy is the height of arrogance. And frankly the only information I've seen on the long term health affect of being 'fat' is a POSSIBLY increase in risks, or the use of the word 'may' all over the studies. A person MAY find an increased risk of X, Y or Z. Well a person might also find an increased risk of cancer if they go to the beach every day of summer for 30 years. Or a person MAY find an increased risk of liver problems if they drink moderately heavy on a regular basis for 30 years. And yet I don't find people making huge assumptions about those people's lives and saying they are definitely, no questions asked, going to get a debilitating disease sometime in the future.
974
You look fabulous. And just like fat does not necessarily equal unhealthy (I am overweight and have excellent blood pressure, cholesterol, pulse rate, flexibility, energy, etc. etc.) skinny does NOT necessarily equal healthy. I would rather be my size than have anxiety over every calorie I ingest. People forget that the push to be skinny can create many health problems as well; including but not limited to eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, which have numerous side effects including DEATH. We aren't all meant to be size 2's (or size 10's for that matter). Great article.
975
1. ..."it is an incredibly cruel, subjective opinion that reinforces destructive, paternalistic, oppressive beauty ideals" - whether you like it or not most people in the the developed world find thinness to be more attractive; besides it's the women who reinforce those ideals and not men.
2. There are only limited number of reasons someone gets overweight and you're discounting all the scientific studies about health and obesity ?
3. Not sure what you're getting at - precisely we live in a society that affects each other and everyone's health insurance goes up when we have more unhealthy people (whether they're overweight or not).
4. "I don't give a shit what causes anyone's fatness" - you should be. What if it's the hormones they put in the meat? The excess sugar/starch/fat in kids' diet? The chemicals or advertisements that make people addicted to certain foods? the list goes on and on.. I'm sure you'll be up in arm if certain food are found to cause cancer.
976
Almost 1,000 comments, 975 as I write this. This is making the rounds online:

http://www.metafilter.com/100491/Hello-I… (409 comments)
http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/… (373 comments)

It's on a ton of tumblrs as well and I couldn't even tell how many Twitter retweets. You guys... bump this. Wow.
977
For all you guys hoping for the 1000 mark, what if we deleted all the comments with dieting tips and testimonials as being COMPLETELY OFF THE FUCKING TOPIC.
978
Lindy, I think you are so awesome. I was having a horrible day and this made it a little bit better. Thanks.
979
The other end of the spectrum:

You know what you get if you have been thin all your life? Accusations of anorexia. Being told you don't eat enough, because of course other people know better. My point is that it's bullshit all around. Do I have friends I think would be healthier thinner? Yes. Do I SAY this to them like I know better, like I have any idea what they deal with ? No, I'm too busy paying attention to the reason we're friends in the first place and dress size isn't on that list. I very much second pissy mcslogbot's comment:
"Shame is a tool of oppression, not change."

hell to the fuck yeah!!!!

And as far as being attractive goes, I think you've got it now. The ridiculous amount of pressure to look a certain way has long ago superseded the things that really matter. And your "appropriate weight" isn't going to match an airbrushed magazine ad. Ever. You'll look better, because you're real.
980
I hope this he said-she said argument doesn't become a regular staple of Slog, 'cuz it'll get really old, really fast.

It's a stupid debate. Both Dan and Lindy are right, and both are wrong.

We're a nation of obese people, and that is not normal or healthy; but shaming individuals or describing their bodies as revolting is in fact subjective and destructive.
981
Keep rocking! Nice legs!
982
Dan's response: super classy, no comments allowed. Now, nobody make fun of the fatasses. It's perfectly within their rights to make decisions I openly disapprove of and scorn, but nobody make fun of them or poke them with sticks.

In case it's in any way unclear, I'm on Team Lindy on this one.
984
I would never enter into a romantic relationship with a person who overeats, just as I would never enter into a romantic relationship with a person who undereats, smokes, does drugs, drinks a lot, works too much, or in any other way treats their body like shit. I have too much respect for myself to do any of these things to my body, so I wouldn't want someone I love to be doing these things to there's.

Obesity is disgusting, appalling, and gross. Because it's unhealthy and because there are so many people out there forming complex justifications for it. It's delusional.
985
All the best to you, Lindy. Keep fighting the good fight. Fat people like my wife and me can use all the help we can get to love ourselves while having healthy lifestyles. I love Dan, but I love Lindy more.
986
Dan has responded. But you can't respond back. Yeah, that's a dialogue. Oh well, good to be the boss.
987
@977 A while ago, a youngish person made a comment on another thread about how his parents wouldn't like the fact that he was gay, so he didn't plan to tell them. This prompted me, and others, to chime in with support for this kid, as well as unsolicited advice. He blew a gasket, basically didn't want us busybodies telling him what to do. And that's just the thing: When you post a problem on a public blog, people make the--perhaps--erroneous assumption that you are looking for advice. I get that Lindy's post was pretty much a "Fuck you, leave me alone, don't tell me what's beautiful" post in response to what she saw as Dan's bullying, but there was more to it than that. There was a lot of pain in what she revealed as well. People respond to that, they reach out and say, "Hey! That was me, and this is what I did and I felt better." For all of our talk about "freedom" and "each man for himself," I think we are hard-wired as a species to care about each other, and care about the well-being of the group, and this prompts people to want to help each other. Although people may not like the terms in which it has been said, there are a bunch of people on this thread who are trying to help, even though it is not what the post is about. I get that all Lindy's original post requires is a "You go, girl!" with no further discussion. But what if there is more to the discussion?

Dan is snarky. He doesn't sugar-coat anything. He doesn't respond to fawning or flattery. He tells people what he thinks with brutal honesty, and most of the time, we love him for it. When he's calling out the Fundamentalist Christians, we say "Yeah!" When he's railing against people, and gay men in particular, who don't use condoms, we say, "Yeah!" But when he talks about obesity, and suggests that our current high carb, drive everywhere society may be contributing to the problem, all of a sudden he's an asshole who doesn't get it. Slog reviews cheeseburgers, poutine, and showcases the yummiest looking cupcakes...and Dan Savage is an asshole who dares to tell people that maybe, just maybe, their eating habits have something to do with their waistlines.

988
@931: big time. I've had some great conversations over the weekend because of this post.
989
#982 called it - dan's response - NO COMMENTS ALLOWED. wouldn't call it super classy however. he'll never get it. it's too bad, really, too because all he's doing is hurting himself because i know i no longer give a shit what he says because he has no credibility. he only cares about the gay cause. he's one trick pony and instead of listening to what people have to say he's just going to insist he is right. he's just as narrow minded and tunnel visioned as the homophobes he rails against.
990
I don't think I can even call Dan's "response" a response. He talks about one person and doesn't address the very good points Lindy brings up here. And no comments? Fucking lame.
991
After reading poor Dan's response I now know what that weird sound I woke to was. It was him totally missing the point. sigh
992
Thank you for this! xoxox
993
Wow. What a complete cop-out non-response from Dan Savage. Is anyone surprised? That guy can dish it out like whoa, but cannot take it at all. I wonder if Lindy's next missive to him will be her two weeks' notice... I sort of hope so. She's too good for this rag.
994
Thanks Urgutha Forka, I would have completely missed hydrozoa @865, since I'm only spot-checking now.

"excuse me, i don't know you, but i'm looking at you and i don't have a boner right now--you need to do something about that."

Funniest thing I've read in a long time!
995
So close!
996
No comments allowed?
Savage, like all bullies, is ultimately a coward.
997
i commented on this thread
998
I love that this post is a history-maker. You're the best, Lindy.
999
Oh well, at least a bunch of us had a (hopefully) constructive conversation. Though remind me when I get closer to my first goal weight to not sound as bitter & self-righteous as some (not all) of the "I used to be fat" people.
Can someone more skilled than I please insert the sad trombone sound in honor of Dan's reply post? Thank you.
Yes! 1000
No comments allowed? Savage, like all bullies, is ultimately a coward. No comments allowed?
I don't believe in shaming of any kind, and I truly think it's great that Lindy and other people on this board love their bodies. But you could insert "smoker" or "alcoholic" or any other addiction here in place of "fat." And there are plenty of people who will also argue that it is their right to smoke or drink, and they are perfectly happy being a smoker, or an alcoholic or whatever. Fine. But I still think it's unrealistic to get defensive when other people think that kind of overindulgence is unhealthy.

So Dan is not missing the point; he's just pointing out the obvious.

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