In case you're behind on this whole Charlie Sheen is an F-18 who chopped down the Giving Tree and fought Jaws in the 4th dimension before he was even born thing, it's time to get caught the fuck up. Basically what happened was that Charlie Sheen went on a radio show and talked, producing the best thing that has happened to pop culture ever. Here's just a taste:

I’m sorry man I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips most of the time and this includes naps. I’m an F-18 and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.

And there's so much more. There's sooooooo much more. You can click here for tons more of Sheen's thoughts on The Giving Tree, sharks, Apocalypse Yesterday, and Thomas Jefferson, plus me and the Filmdrunk dudes trying to figure out what to do with our lives now that Sheen has snorted all the funny in the world. RIP, comedy. Sigh.

And on a "completely unrelated" note, it turns out smog is more dangerous than cocaine! WINNING!