I'm looking at my keyboard, but I can't seem to find the "any" key...can anyone help me with this?
What does any of this actually mean? Maybe if they translate that article into cuneiform it'll be a little clearer.
Ballmer simply lacks the vision to properly helm Microsoft. He is a huge liability.
Goldy, did you draw that all by yourself?

You, sir, are a polymath. I am awed by your splendor.

Don't hedge fund people want incompetent managers in charge so they can short their stock and sell of their assets?

I mean, isn't that what they do?
Goldy's illustration needs the "Blue Screen of Death" as a background.
"There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance. It's a $500 subsidized item. They may make a lot of money. But if you actually take a look at the 1.3 billion phones that get sold, I'd prefer to have our software in 60% or 70% or 80% of them, than I would to have 2% or 3%, which is what Apple might get."

-Ballmer, April 2007
2005 would have been the appropriate time to fire Steve Ballmer. And while we're at it, can we find some way to dilute his shares?
his application coughed
his hard drive went soft
and we're running out of memory for steve
@1 Nice Homer Simpson reference.
So who would you have instead? The problem being ubiquitous is you have nowhere to go but down (at least for awhile). They've done some rather nice products of late.
Waaahh, waaahh, waaahh
@9: I just read that in my head to the tune of "Science Fiction Double Feature".
Hedge fund managers should be shot on sight, and so should the schmuck @ 3 who used "helm" as a verb.
If Ballmer doesnt have secret plans to extend media streaming on the xbox360 to a set top box, allowing for external drives supporting a wide variety of codecs, as well as network playback and WP7 mobile phone streaming. Usual Netflix, Pandora, Hulu Plus, streams, but striking deals with channels, becoming an IPTV service provider. Offering 10-20$ ala carte packages and video skype integration. If he doesnt have that planned by the end of the year, then yeah he should step down. He has no vision.

He runs a fucked up rent collecting piece of shit Mafia operation that has not done anything original since the mid 90's. And you Microsoft payroll patriots: a big Fuck You, morons.
This is all so much bluster. The simple fact: MSFT pays a dividend. It's now a stock for retirees, and a lot of institutional investors who cut their teeth in the 80s and 90s can't wrap their head around it. I'm sure there were people bitching about IBM's growth plateau in the 1970s as well.

The thing is, MSFT is probably going to be a great retiree stock. They're going to own the corporate desktop PC market for as long as there is such a thing, with a nice little sideline in consumer electronics. All Ballmer needs to do is avoid blowing the entire cash pile on dumb acquisitions. Buy a couple thousand shares when you turn 65.
One has to wonder why Microsoft exists when IBM had decades to create all things computer. Likewise one has to wonder why Google, Facebook, you-name-it exist when Microsoft had decades to develop all things computer. The futurist in my asks why new-unknown-tech exists when Google/ / / had decades to develop all things computer.
My own time travelling self finds my observations trite and cliche becuase, all this was obvious to everyone back in 2012.
On one hand Ballmer has kept MS profitable. OTH, he has shepherded in a bunch of products that boil down to slightly cheaper, slightly crappier versions of something someone else already made. These products have gone on to lackluster sales in spite of large marketing expenditures, so one has to question how much MORE profitable the company could have been with different leadership.
so one has to question how much MORE profitable the company could have been with different leadership.

Perhaps if someone new decided to invent / produce something new instead of cheap knockoffs we would have a completely different story. Copying and buying your way into a competition is patently lame. I have no doubt that someone different would have done something different.
Zune, Bing, Kin, 1Care, etc.! Is it his fault that the world has failed to recognize his genius?
I wonder how much of a profit making whiz David Einhorn would be without that nifty little %10 Capital Gains tax dodge hedge fund managers get?
@22 Just saw that Einhorn is buying into the NY Mets. Now who is making the stupid business decisions? He could wait a few more months and get the entire team in a fire sale.
Bring back Bill. It's a win-win.

a) That jackass Ballmer won't be mismanaging MSFT

b) Gates will have less time available to lead the charge for killing public education
@19 To somewhat paraphrase Mencken - No one ever went broke pandering to the mediocre. Hence Microsoft, "Two and a Half Men", another one of those goddamn Pirates movies, etc.

No other individual can capture as much credit for the ascendancy of Apple and Google, simply for not fostering an environment where competitive alternatives can grow and thrive. Everything MS produces smells of mildew.
2007 - "I like our strategy - I like it a lot!"

2010 - "We were ahead of this game and now we find ourselves No. 5 in the market. We missed a whole cycle.”

Actually because of stock ownership percentages, the makeup of the board, etc the only person who could fire Ballmer is Gates. Good luck with that...

May Ballmer remain CEO for as long as it takes!

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