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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
The basic problem here is, while transgendered people are generally recognized by the medical community as having a legitimate condition, people who want something in between generally aren't. Not everyone who seeks this seeks it as a fetish. A lot of them are people who find (often through experimentation with androgen blockers) that they're happier without testosterone in their system. Androgen blockers can have nasty side-effects, so just staying on them isn't always an option. The surgery itself rarely has complications and the medical consequences are no worse than those of lowering testosterone any other way.
I'd just hesitate to classify this guy's unhappiness with his ball sack as body dysmorphic disorder since the absence of testicles from the scrotum -- Cryptorchidism -- is an actual birth defect, it's not some socially-imposed, imagined "defect" like not having big enough breasts. He was unhappy about his malformed sack and balls, realized he didn't need them at all, and cut them off. That doesn't smack of mental illness to me. The fact that he fetishized the whole process? It might be unusual, but that doesn't make it pathological. I'd be more troubled if he was unsatisfied with the castration and had further urges to remove other parts of his body, but he sounds like he's perfectly content.
I bet he could have found a doctor instead - cancer risk, whatever - but I don't think what he did was especially dangerous. Farmers castrate calves in the field, and most of them do fine. Assuming the cutter was careful about autoclaving (or pressure-cooking) the equipment and wiping the table down with a good antiseptic, I bet it was pretty safe.
Anyhow, I'm glad it all worked out.
Vince, your story is horrible. I hope you have recovered. Doctors are afraid to use too much anesthesia on kids, but boy oh boy, they messed up on you.
After corrective surgery he had a somewhat abnormal but functional rigging. He was unhappy with it and there were apparently, during that time period, not one but two relationships ended by deaths, which would be enough to traumatize anyone, let alone someone who was already dissatisfied with his ability to be a sexual partner.
I wasn't really making a case for or against this being body dysmorphic disorder. I was just analogizing. Nevertheless, the circumstances make me feel - and again I note that it's "feel" because I am not remotely attempting to make a diagnosis or even to meaningfully judge - that this decision was one made in order to relieve mental and emotional distress arising from body image issues. If that's what it took for him to be happy, then again, I'm glad it worked out, and since it sounds like he was even able to turn it into an erotic positive, so much the better.
I was only pointing out as a more or less academic point of interest that, to borrow a clumsy cliche for no reason other than that I want to, making lemonade out of lemons doesn't make it so that you didn't have lemons in the first place, and wouldn't it be nice if we could all choose if we wanted lemons or oranges or limes or whatever in the first place instead of being stuck with one?
Hating women, how's that working out for you?
Do you mean surgery fetish? As in they're obsessed with plastic surgery?
Or a surgery to comply with a fetish?
A doctor sliced open my skin and muscle (TWICE!) stuck his finger in the incision and slid it sideways to make a pocket, jammed a rubber bag in there then filled it with saline.
Why? Because I had the horrible birth defect commonly referred to as "small tits".
Odd? Yes.
Hot? Yes.
Different from this guy?
Not really, except that he had a slightly more legitimate reason for doing it.
Con:
larger breasts will be a drag to carry around
they'll have to be redone every so often
family & friends & future lovers might think I was an idiot
all surgery has risks
reinforcing stupid societal pressure to get larger breasts.
Pro: Might get my husband to stop asking me to do this.
It sounds like the "surgeon" made sure everything was sterile which can, in fact, be better than a hospital. Hospitals are disgustingly filled with germs, viruses and strange people bringing in any number of microbes, etc. There's a reason MRSA is mostly seen in hospitals. Personally, for any kind of minor surgeries I'd rather not go to a hospital if there would be any way of avoiding it. I think Americans are far too obsessed with the idea - which is an illusion in actual hospitals - of sterility and cleanliness during medical procedures. If the human body weren't able to deal with "crude" surgical environments every single wounded soldier would die from lack of proper facilities. My childhood kitchen was far from sterile but my father never got an infection any of the dozen or so times he did surgery on himself there; a disinfected surgical site and clean tools go a long way in reducing risk of any and all infections.
If the only advantage to getting breast implants is that your husband might stop bugging you about it, I wouldn't do it. Weighing that one upside against all your concerns doesn't make it seem worthwhile. It's a bummer that he doesn't recognize that B cup breasts are hot, but at least you're happy with them.
I know trans women who did their GRS by starting here with bilateral orchiectomies (for the reasons 102 states)and then doing the rest in Thailand or India. Much cheaper, but it does have the side effect of taking them out of all the usual safeguards of a more established route.
It's YOUR body, not your husband's; you have to live with it. B-cups are lovely and absolutely normal (the average size in the world). Would your husband consider, say, getting surgery to make his cock longer than average if you wanted him to?
In addition, your husband may actually be disappointed at the difference in how your breasts feel to him afterwards - the texture will unlikely be the same.
Surgery is not trivial, so it's got to be something that will make you feel markedly better about your own life, not his.
You mention future lovers; many guys are absolutely turned on by B-cups and will be happier with you being natural. If your husband has a big boob fetish, then perhaps you could do an occasional threesome with him and a woman of appropriate size (unless that's more painful to you than breast surgery). He'll be happy, and you won't be sliced open. And of course, he'd have to reciprocate by letting you live a fantasy that may be uncomfortable for him.
Agreed!! It is far more insidious and heartbreaking to see young women especially unhappy with their bodies because of what the media tells them is "normal". Small tits are so FAR from a "birth defect" it's not remotely funny. A life threatening surgical procedure because you fall slightly off one side of the bell curve? But I understand why individuals are driven to it. I just wish that becoming happy with who you are and what you have was more of a priority to the medical profession than simply cutting it off, or enlarging it.
And EricaP...would you have even ever told him if you'd wished he had a bigger dick? Okay of course in an open relationship you can go off and fulfill and any desires you have for some thing other than what God gave your partner, but otherwise I think he should have kept it to himself. And you have NO reason to undergo LIFE THREATENIN|G SURGERY to stop his whining.
this LW guy didn't have any nuts left, and just had the spare scrotum skin removed. whatever, i give myself tattoos at home. clean up before and after and you're pretty much set.
EricaP, your husband will also stop complaining about your lovely natural healthy (I hope!) awesome body if you kick his ass to the curb. just sayin'.
Thanks for sharing, LW, and I'm glad your recovery went well, and that you're happy with your body and enjoying life.
But that's just my gut reaction. And in this case the guy actually did manage to put his experiences and feelings forward in a way that I could empathize with him.
He's my dom, and in 18 years has never demanded this of me. But he asks every once in a while if I'm ready yet. I think part of it is a mind-fuck. He knows I don't want it, and it's hot for him to see me get nervous that he'll demand it of me. I used to say that I would consider it after I had finished breast-feeding, but now that's long over.
I was just curious if there were women on this body mod thread who were surprised at how much they liked their enlarged boobs.
This is not too far away. Scientists have already been able to grow functional, if deformed and disorganized, kidneys in culture.
You are a wonderful giving wife. I hope your husband recognizes that how lucky and GGG you are. But, not once did you say that you wanted to change your breast size for you. I'm inclined to believe that "for him" or "he'll stop whining" isn't a reason. If you want it for yourself or have a medical reason that necesitates it, well then there is a reason. If I were you then I'd invest in some excellent push-up bras that add a size or two. It's only my opinion, but I can't see why altering your body is in your best interest and my loyalty lies with you, dear.
Take care.
Does anyone else ever think of reincarnation? It explains so much. Child prodigies and other unusual talents, not feeling right in this body, longing for eunuchism (because it was so great that time in the old world).
@58 The Persian Boy was my favourite novel when I was younger. It's the only novel I have ever read that featured a castrated character. Highly recommended for those who don't know.
And I don't care how experienced the "cutter" was. How did he get that experienced? Oh, and all it would take would be one "client" to change his mind after the procedure to sue the cutter's ass off. A non-physician performing medical procedures (or a real physician doing procedures in a basement on a bondage table) sets himself up for a whole lotta legal trouble.
@130: Have you tried Pepperberry? It's a pain in the ass to have to order button up shirts in from England, but it's better than nothing. Also easier than getting all my shirts tailored.
Infections don't usually start in the OR, they happen to patients staying in the hospital. The problem with this "cutter" is that he wasn't a doctor. Also, your dad gave people stitches on your front porch so therefore it's safe to get your fucking balls cut off by an amateur in their BDSM playroom? Castration will probably go OK, but if the cutter does manage to nick the femoral artery, the patient could bleed to death. Likely? No. But any surgery carries risks, especially ones in which potential complications are serious and happen very fast. In a hospital (or a doctor's private OR, as is the case with many plastic surgeons), the various medical professionals have a better chance of treating the problem than a cutter who has only ever sliced off testicles.
That being said, it's great that everything worked out so well for the LW. I just think he should have gone to a doctor.
Although several of the commenters have already provided accurate information about how the male body functions, let me reiterate these points.
Semen is produced by the prostate gland, not by the testicles. Sperm, produced by the testicles, is only a fraction of the volume of semen. Therefore, removal of the testicles does not materially affect the volume of semen ejaculated upon orgasm nor does it affect the physical capability of having an erection..
Testosterone is vital for male libido. In addition, the absence of testosterone in a man does negatively affect the ability to maintain muscle mass and therefore can affect masculine appearance.
Now to asnwer a few of the questions that people had about my story.
My first two partners, one of 2 1/2 years, one of eight years, did die from AIDS rleated causes prior to the introduction of the anti-retroviral cocktail in the mid 90's. Fortunately, I remained HIV negative.
I continue on HRT(hormone replacement therapy). My motivation for castration had nothing to do with wanting to reduce my sex drive or alter my masculine appearance or identity. With HRT, I get horny, have erections and orgasms.
Several of the commenters have questioned my mental health. I have had several years of individual and group therapy which I sought out for personal growth. Through the therapeutic process, I greatly empowered myself and strengthened my personal identity. I am a fully out gay man in my personal, community and professional life. I have a very healthy relationship with my partner of 10 years. My decision was made with a great deal of self-examination over a period of years and with extensive discussions with my partner. I understand the psychological origins of my desire to be castrated, and I find the eroticization of the childhood trauma as a healthy way of transmuting it into something positive. I was happy with life before castation - the castration added an additional positive dimension to my identity.
As some of you have surmised, it is extremely difficult to find a medical doctor who will perform an elective castration unrelated to transgender identity, and the chances of insurance paying for such a procedure are slim to none, with empasis on the none. My biggest concern was having the procedure performed safely. The man who helped me, and the man who assisted, had an understanding of the anatomy involved, were knowledgeable about procedure for orchiectomy, and knew how to maintain sterile technique. Was there risk involved? Of course. But I had satisfied myself that the risk was minimized. In addition, let me emphasize that no reputable cutter will ever ask for payment of any kind. This is done in kindness, one man to another. Therefore, I think the comparison to back-street abortions is mostly not applicable.
I think that wraps up my contribution. I think it's healthy to push the envelope of people's thinking, as Dan's column often does. Glad to have been of service in that direction..
The eunuchs group will be in the Pride Parade, right?
Just so somebody doesn't start a meme about "Castration is what gay *is*".
I just can't keep up.
1: Wassersug RJ, Zelenietz SA, Squire GF. New age eunuchs: motivation and
rationale for voluntary castration. Arch Sex Behav. 2004 Oct;33(5):433-42. PubMed
PMID: 15305114.
2: Johnson TW, Brett MA, Roberts LF, Wassersug RJ. Eunuchs in contemporary
society: characterizing men who are voluntarily castrated (part I). J Sex Med.
2007 Jul;4(4 Pt 1):930-45. PubMed PMID: 17627740.
3: Brett MA, Roberts LF, Johnson TW, Wassersug RJ. Eunuchs in contemporary
society: expectations, consequences, and adjustments to castration (part II). J
Sex Med. 2007 Jul;4(4 Pt 1):946-55. PubMed PMID: 17627741.
4: Roberts LF, Brett MA, Johnson TW, Wassersug RJ. A passion for castration:
characterizing men who are fascinated with castration, but have not been
castrated. J Sex Med. 2008 Jul;5(7):1669-80. PubMed PMID: 17961144.
For sure. The thing is, when you view transness from the cortical mapping and androgen/estrogen affinity standpoint it certainly suggests that there would be some accompanying intermediate gender and morphological identification. Gender identity and sexuality aren't necessarily binary, which might suggest that cortical mapping isn't either.
That being said, the same (ironic) mechanism of externalizing a smaller, marginalized group for the sake of the larger occurs with alarming regularity within the queer community. Just as there is so much transphobia in the LGB community, there is an abundance of genderqueer-phobia in the binary trans community.
The epitomy of irony if you ask me. Meh.