this new genre of slowing down little girl's voices is my most favorite thing EVAR
should i change my ringtone from 'slurring drunken midget' (cootie patootie remix) to this? y/n?
It's funny how even a girl that age already has her Texas Mouth. Girls really do look different there.

But get ready for more awesome: "The little beauty competitor is trading her tiara for a recording studio, trying to launch a singing career in Los Angeles."

And check out her boneriffic website:
Future Republican First Lady
@3, holy fuck, that's not a website, it's an emetic. I confess I clicked to listen to a bit of each of her songs, and they're every bit as horrible as I'd imagined. Thank you!
Would it be rude of me to mention that her face is so chunky, she looks like she needs to lose about 20 lbs already? Nobody likes a chunky Mrs. America sweetie!
@5, you're just being mean because you hate quality graphic design. UNDERLINING IS BEAUTIFUL, DAMMIT!

I'm actually afraid to find out what an "underpuppy" is, and I have a strong stomach.
Dear God that was funny.

I'm glad I put down my coffee and decided not to take a sip as I watched that.
@7, *she* is the underpuppy. It's a song about how she's going to come from behind to win the pageant. She's too cute and young to be an underdog, see, so she's an underpuppy.

My favorite title is "Cutsie Roll". I wondered if it would turn out to be some sort of patois novelty tune, but no, it's just a misspelling of "cutesy". Yes, it's her song about how she's so sweet and so cute she's a....
Oh my god. That is the funniest thing I've seen or heard in, well...months? years? good lord.

Please wait...

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