Here in Minnesota there is a "religious" organization called You Can Run International that is some hard-rock, punk, grassroots bullshit organization that probably only exists so that its grifter founder Bradlee Dean can score easy cash from the gay-hating crowd in my fine state. Their main source of income is setting up card tables at local gas stations and harassing patrons to buy their bullshit DVDs and make donations. I was at my favorite gas station/carwash the other day (and the last time, I can promise you that) when I was approached by one of Dean's fundraising minions. After telling them to "get the fuck away from me with their message of hate," I went in and told the manager to let the owner know that this was the last penny I'd ever be spending at his store. On the way out the fundraising minion engaged me once again and it was on. Your basic poorly supported Biblical bullshit: homosexuality is a sin, hate the sin, not the sinner, blah, blah, bullshit blah. When the dipshit said the gay lifestyle is a choice I heard Dan Savage's voice in my head: "Say it! You know you want to say it!" So I said it: "Okay, if homosexuality is a choice, then suck my dick. I'll unzip right now and you get on your knees and make the choice to suck my dick." Shitbrains was stunned, had nothing to say. Some customers had a lot to say, to the manager, and I was asked to leave, which I did.

Thanks for the line, Dan. I will forever remember the look on that idiots face.