Over the years I've written many letters to you although I never sent any of them. I take the great Ann Landers advice鈥擨 can't express in words how happy I am that you now have her desk!鈥攁nd write letters whenever I am troubled just to get my feelings out. Then re-read the letters after I calm down and realize how small my problems are.

Anyway, I write to you today to ask a favor. I have been with my girlfriend for about two years now and a while ago we had a discussion about the various names for a woman's lady bits. There is the offensive (cunt and snatch), the creepy (pussy), the squeamish (vajayjay), the goofy (box), and the technical (vagina). What we could not come up with was a word that described a woman's genitals in a sexual sense that was positive and fun. We ended up creating our own word: vaclabia. It's a mash up of vagina, labia, and clitoris. It doesn't creep us out to say it. We don't feel dirty saying it. And we don't feel like we are 12-year-old girls who are uncomfortable with sex when we say it. (That's how we feel when we say "vajayjay.") I'm happy with it just being a word that we use between the two of us, however my girlfriend would love to get the word out on this word. She thought about getting Oprah to use it before she went off air, but I didn't see it as an Oprah kind of thing. I figured you were much more of the expert in this area鈥攏ot vaclabia, of course, but coining words with sexual connotations and popular appeal.

Lesbo in NY

My response after the jump...

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Hm...

To my ears, LINY, "vaclabia" sounds equal parts sinister and ridiculous. I mean, maybe I'm impaired here, maybe it's early, and maybe I'm putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable... but every time I said "vaclabia" out loud I hear "Count Chocula" in my head. Now I can't say "vaclabia" aloud without using a bad Transylvanian accent. (And, no, this isn't evidence of my gynophobia. LINY's word reminds me of something I used to enjoy eating and would happily eat again if someone were to put a box鈥攈a! box!鈥攊n front of me.)

And I don't really see a gaping hole in our sexual vocabulary that requires filling. Between vagina, vag, pussy, twat, cunt, snatch, box, fanny (for the Brits), and vajayjay (for the twits), it seems to me that there's an acceptable/palatable slang term for women's genitals out there for everyone.

But, hey, I'm impaired, and I don't have a vaclabia myself, so what do I know? So I'm tossing this out there, vacation-style, to all the vaclabia-havers reading Slog: What do you think of the term "vaclabia," ladies? Does it work for you? Got something better?